AN: Begins shortly before the Khrustev list and picks up right after. Not a medical expert, so please don't hold this against me. I also don't have a beta, so any mistakes are solely mine.

I do not own SMK or any of its characters; however, this story belongs to me.


This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

- Natalie Grant, "Held"

Chapter One

Friday afternoon, May 1987

Jamie King stood on the driveway waiting for his older brother, Phillip, to come back out and to shoot some hoops with him. The thudding of the ball on the ground was rhythmic and allowed Jamie to spend a few minutes to reflect on how his afternoon had gone – badly. There was the fact that his dad had called, his science project was going no where, and he could feel his chest tightening up, rearing up for an asthma attack.

Hearing the sound of his mom's Jeep pulling into the driveway, Jamie looked up feeling a bit of relief until he realized that she wasn't in the Jeep after all. It was her boyfriend, Lee Stetson. Refraining from sighing, Jamie walked over to the tall man as he climbed out of the vehicle and reached into the back seat for a bag. "Hey, Lee. Where's mom?"

"Got held up at the office," he replied. Lee Stetson looked over at his stepson. "Actually, IFF is sending her to Williamsburg tonight to finish up that documentary we did last month on that all girl's school." Lee swung his overnight bag over his shoulder and started walking toward the house. "I know your father was supposed to come get you guys tonight, but…"

"I already know," Jamie interrupted. "Dad called awhile ago and told us he was bailing, again."

Lee turned to the young man and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Jamie –"

"It's ok, Lee, I understand." Jamie slammed the ball into the ground and caught it in the rebound. "So, if Mom is going to Williamsburg, Dad has bailed, and Grandma is visiting Aunt Lillian, then I am guessing you are staying with us tonight since you have your overnight bag." The ball slammed into the ground again.

Lee's eyes narrowed as he watched Jamie's face. "Yes, that's right. I hope that's ok with you and your brother." Jamie shrugged his shoulders, as if to say whatever. Lee sighed and sat his bag down on the ground. He had thought things were finally getting better between them. "Ok, something is bothering you. What's up?"

Jamie hesitated. He didn't want to bother Lee, but his Mom said he could trust this man. When she had that shooting accident in California, he thought he was going to lose her. But then Lee brought her home and had been helping around the house since then. He seemed to be genuinely interested in everything they did from the mundane to the very exciting even going as far as finding out that Jamie was interested in photography and had given him that really cool camera. He was still trying to adjust to the fact that Lee was not a temporary person in their lives. In fact, Jamie was willing to bet that Lee had designs on becoming a more permanent fixture in their lives. Jamie glanced up and saw that Lee was sincere in his inquiry. "The deal is that I've been asking Dad for his help on a science project that is due next week. I was planning on entering it into the Science Fair at the school. But the last few weeks he's called and bailed on us, and Mom is hopeless when it comes to rockets and rocket engineering…."

A smile crossed Lee's face as he listened to Amanda's youngest son. "Tell you what. After I go change clothes and order us some pizza, how about you tell me more about this project of yours. Maybe between the two of us, we can get it knocked out in no time. And, if there is something I'm not sure about, I have some friends at work who work in special effects who can probably help us." The look on Jamie's face was Lee's reward.

"Really? I mean, I would hate to bother you on something as stupid as a science project…" subconsciously Jamie started rubbing his hand across his chest.

"Hey," Lee interrupted, "anytime and anything for you, Jamie. I would hope you would know that by now," he finished and laid his arm across Jamie's shoulders. At that moment Phillip came out of the house and grabbed the ball from Jamie. "Hey, Lee! What's up?" Lee recounted for Phillip the plans for the evening and finished with, "Why don't you two finish your game and then come in? Pizza should be here by then, and then I'm going to sit down with Jamie and go over his plans for his science project."

Phillip nodded. "Cool. Listen, Jimmy and Carl were coming over to shoot hoops with us for awhile, in fact they should be here any minute. But that was before I knew you were coming over. Will that be ok until the pizza gets here?"

"Sure." Lee bent down and picked his bag back up. "I'll go order that pizza and get changed." Phillip bounced the ball once, nodded and headed over to the goal. Lee looked over at Jamie and gave him a once over. "Everything ok with you, Sport?"

"Yeah. Sure. Why?"

Lee pointed at Jamie and said, "Because I saw you rubbing your chest a few minutes ago. Your asthma ok?"

Jamie rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bad afternoon. But now that you will be helping me on my project, I feel much better."

"You sure?"

Walking toward Phillip, he turned and commented, "Yes, I'm sure." At that moment Jimmy and Carl showed up and the boys began their two on two game. Lee watched them for a few minutes and then turned and entered the house. He glanced once more at Jamie, remembering the last time he had an asthma attack, one that had ended up at the emergency room. He would just have to keep a close eye on him until Amanda got home.

In the meanwhile, it was time to go order that pizza.


"So, Phillip," Carl started as he bounced the ball. Phillip was guarding him while Jamie guarded Jimmy. "What's up with your mom's boyfriend?"

"What do you mean?" Phillip replied.

Carl bounced the ball again looking for an opening to Jimmy. "I mean, he's here all the time. Is he like looking to get married to your mom or what?"

Phillip shrugged, not really paying attention to the conversation. "I guess. Can we play? We've only got a short time before supper gets here."

"So where is your mom, Jamie?" Jimmy asked.

"Out of town," Jamie answered. "Why? Not that it's any of your business…"

Jimmy smirked at Jamie. "You really don't get it, do you? You mom is just trying to find someone to replace your dad. Happens all the time. Happened with my mom. Guy leaves the picture, girl tries to find someone to replace the guy. Although, I understand it's hard for moms to replace guys when there are kids involved. Again, that happened with my mom."

Jamie shook his head. "You've got it all wrong about Lee. He really cares about our mom and us, too. He's not going to dump mom just because of us."

"Yeah, right. You are so naïve."

"Better take it back, Jimmy." The others had stopped the game and watched as Jimmy and Jamie came toe to toe.

"Make me."

Jamie pushed at Jimmy and before they knew it, the boys were on the ground pushing and hitting each other. Phillip knew he was in over his head and ran to get Lee.


"Yeah, two large pizzas, one pepperoni, and the other cheese. Yes, ok, thanks. See you soon." Lee hung up the phone and was pulling out the money when Phillip barged in through the back door. "Hey, Chief, just because your mom isn't here…"

"Lee, come quick! Jamie and Jimmy are fighting!" Lee dashed out the door with Phillip on his heels. He grabbed both of the boys by the back of their shirts and pulled them off of each other. "Ok, that's enough! What's going on?" At that moment, Lee took a closer look at Jamie and noticed that the youth had trouble gasping for breath. "Jamie," Lee let go of Jimmy. "Jamie, can you breathe?" Shaking his head, Jamie couldn't reply. "Do you have your inhaler?" Another negative shake. "Phillip, run inside and get his inhaler!"

Lee pulled the wheezing boy over to the picnic table and sat him down. Sitting down beside him, he began, "Ok, Jamie, just like last time, just try to calm down, listen to my voice, try to breathe with me…." Phillip approached Lee and handed him the inhaler. Giving it to Jamie, he watched as Jamie took a couple of puffs and slowly started to breathe better. Lee looked up at the other two boys still standing there. "Jimmy, I don't know what started the fight, I really don't care, but I think it's time for the two of you to go on home." The boys nodded and left, looking over their shoulders as they walked down the driveway.

Lee looked over at Jamie and saw him close his eyes and lean back on Lee's arm. He was still wheezing a little. Lee nudged him and Jamie opened his eyes. "Ok, Sport, let's try for a couple more…." Jamie obediently took the couple of puffs and seemed to improve even more.

"Ok?" Lee asked him. Jamie nodded, but was suddenly too tired to move. Lee, from personal experience, knew that the boy would be tired for a few minutes. "How about we move this inside and wait for the pizza?" Jamie nodded once more. Without a second thought, Lee stooped down and gathered up the boy and carried him to the couch in the family room.


The pizza had arrived, and the three ate quickly. Lee knew that Jamie was embarrassed by what had happened earlier that evening. After cleaning up and putting up the few remaining pieces of the pizza, Lee looked at Phillip and tipped his head toward the stairs. Taking the hint, Phillip went up the stairs and left Lee and Jamie alone.

They remained silent for a few moments before Jamie spoke. "So, what are you going to tell Mom?"

Lee absently "scratched" at the table before glancing over at Jamie's small form. Bringing his hand up to his face, he asked, "What do you want me to tell her?"

"Mom says we should always stick with the truth. We'll get into less trouble that way." Lee covered his mouth before Jamie could see him. If he only knew… "Jamie, like I told your friends, I really don't care what started the fight. What I am concerned about is the asthma attack. You haven't had one in over a month. Want to tell me what is really going on with you? And not just what happened today."

Jamie shrugged. "What does it matter?"

"It matters because I care about you." Lee leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees. "I care about you and I worry if there something going on that I don't know or understand. Why don't you enlighten me? Maybe I can help?"

Jamie returned Lee's scrutiny with one of his own. Again, he saw the sincerity in the older man's face and eyes. Did he really care what went on in their everyday lives? With that thought, Jamie began talking to Lee about his fears and frustrations regarding how Joe was never around, his insecurity regarding how Lee fit into his life, and that he was still worried about his mother even though the shooting accident was over three months ago.

At some point during the conversation, he and Lee moved to the couch and eventually Lee had his arm around the young man and just listened to him pour out his heart. The walls that had been erected between them were finally being torn down. Eventually, Jamie's eyes grew sleepy and before he or Lee knew it, he was out.

Lee looked down at this young man he had secretly watched grow up over the last four years. He and his brother have certainly changed during that time! Lee gently caressed the boy's hair – his son's hair – and silently thanked God that Amanda had allowed him into her and the boys' lives.