DISCLAIMER: I don't own Ouran High School Host Club. (maayn that'ss long)/


I live in a world full of people who thinks that what you show is what you are. Ignorance is such a bliss. I show them what they want. I show them 'me', yet I don't. I'm torn between two different aspects of my personility. I'm so split up that I don't even know who I am anymore. So tell me, what is real and what is fake?

I walk around all day with a stupid smile and tell people my dreams and hopes yet I know that it's one I can never achieve. Sometimes I'd even hear strangers speak behind my back and although I never show it, it pains me to the core.

My friends think I'm funny and brave but in truth, when I'm on my own, my emotions take control of me. Then I break down and cry and I change into a person that not many people have seen. Vunerable. I want to stop. But I can't.

They think I'm strong but I really amn't. I'm weak when it comes to insults. But I just hide it along with my emotions.

I panic at the thought of my weaknesses and fears being exposed and give them the ability to break me. That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind, a detached sophisticated façade, to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation. My only hope and I know it. That is, if it's followed by acceptance, if it's followed by love. It is the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself, that I am really worth something. It is the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from my own self-built prison walls, from the barriers I created. Why?

I tried being myself once infront of my 'friends' just for a little while and they responded with uneasiness and repulse. They questioned me as if I had an incureable disease. I felt betrayal. In my mind I told them 'You never knew me, and probably never will'.

They need to open their eyes and see I'm not who I pretend to be. They need to hear my screams for acceptance for the real me. If they never do, then what's the point in living? I won't be able to survive this thing called life.

A simple facade has led me into something I'm forced to become. When will I be free of my captor?