Hi all! I'm back. This came randomly and probably won't be updated, so don't expect more. To anyone reading any of my other fics: don't worry! I'll update them soon! School's been a bitch lately, but it's almost over (thank God). Enjoy! Reviews are much appreciated.
Teacher Rules
If Professor Snape asks you to help him with his potion, do not accept. Chances of poison are high.
"I don't poison people that much, do I Albus?"
"Are you sure you want me to answer that question, Severus?"
Do not piss Professor McGonagall off. It is not funny. Well, it is for a second, but then you get transfigured into something and probably are a laughing stock for the rest of the week.
"The best time was when she turned Lockhart into a monkey," commented Professor Sprout.
"Much agreed," said Professor Flitwick."
Do not make fun of Professor Flitwick's height, because you might find yourself charmed to spout some inane crap for a week afterwards.
This was a long running rule going all the way back to the 1970s when James Potter had to sing anything he wanted to say for a week. At this time, they also found out that James Potter could not sing very well, which was very unfortunate for his three best friends.
Never, and we mean NEVER EVER; try to escape the Hospital Wing. She will only keep you there longer.
Rumor has it that Professor Kettleburn had to stay there three weeks after trying to escape four times, even though he only had minor third degree burns from the salamanders he was raising. He also, had to endure listening to stories about Celestia Warbeck's latest romance that she had heard about from Witch Weekly. It is said that he swore to his seventh year class that he would try to never allow them to endure that.
Do not ask to see Hagrid's latest interesting creature. It will only turn out badly.
This rule came out after the skrewts.
Do not say "what's the worst that can happen?"
"I never thought that Mr. Potter would get his name put into the Goblet of Fire," grumbled Professor Sinistra to Madame Pomfrey afterward.
"Karma," Madame Pomfrey sighed, already imagining the horrible injuries the boy would contract.
"I, of course, saw it coming," Professor Trelawney said airily, who had come down to the staff lounge for once.
"Don't you always?" Professor McGonagall sniffed.
"Now, now, no need to fight," Professor Flitwick rushed to intervene.
The two Professors only glared at each other.
Do not take Professor Dumbledore's lemon drops out of his office. The prank that will ensue the next day will not be encouraging.
Professor McGonagall could only hiss at her classes, as she had to stay in her Animagus form for the whole day.
Do not make a bet with a Phoenix.
Professor Dumbledore refused to comment on this one.
Never ever let these rules get out.
The students will inevitably try to do something that will create a new rule, and this, usually involves destruction of some part of the school.
