Helloha Readers! I just wanted to put up this chapter because it wouldn't leave my mind, so I just had to put it up! I'm sorry for the grammar problems, but I hope this was okay! I hope this story does well, I just put the chapter to see if it would do well, so if you like it, pretty please review! I would love to know what you guys think about this story! Please and Thank you!
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.
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Mission Impossible
Chapter 1: Another Day
It was another beautiful morning at Seireitei University, the sun was slowly rising in the wonderfully azure sky dotted with white marshmallow clouds, the birds were singing their songs of dire happiness, and then there was that full blown argument brewing, ringing throughout the entire campus.
"Damn it, Kurosaki! What is wrong with you? Were you born a natural idiot? God damn it, I just bought this!"
The petite young woman had jumped to her feet, jabbing an accusing finger at the said Kurosaki. She glared angrily at the tall man, her eyes turning into a storm of violet, and her nose flared with annoyance.
"Do you see this, you fool? Do you?" She now was jabbing at the new tomato colored stain on her newly bought white cardigan. He leaned down, making a careful observation of his 'accident', the angry red ketchup stain was a sight for sore eyes. He straightened himself up and gave her a smug look before answering.
"What are you talking about, Kuchiki? I don't see anything, but your hideously ugly midget self standing in front of me." That just earned him a direct kick in the shin. A hard kick too.
"Fucking Midget! That hurt! There's a kendo tournament coming up soon! What are you going to do if you injure my leg and I can't participate?" He yelled at her, getting down to her eye level. They were currently having a battle royale with their eyes, until she shoved him away.
"It's your fault, dumbass! Not only are you naturally stupid, you're blind too! I don't give a damn if you can't participate in your crappy tournament! It's too bad I didn't break the rest of you! You owe me $50!" She was now holding out her hand, gesturing for him to hand her the money in hard core cash. He just smirked and slapped her hand, yelling, "High Five! But really, Kuchiki, that was a Low Five!"
She punched him square in the stomach and stomped on his foot, "God, you are SO infuriating! This is your fault for purposely carrying an open ketchup bottle and then brining it in back of me! I mean seriously, who carries an open ketchup bottle around, anyway?"
He clenched his stomach before arguing back, "You're infuriating! It seems I carry it around! It's not my fault you bumped into me while I was holding it!"
"You did it on purpose!" Her eyes had now evolved from a storm into a full on raging volcanic explosion as she got into his face again and he got closer, ready to yell at her.
"I did not!"
"Did to!"
"Did not!"
"Did to!"
"Did n…."
"Damn it Kurosaki, Kuchiki! Shut up already! And head to the head master's office and that's in order! Before I decide to kill you both!"
The two said people, jumped, startled at the booming voice that was coming from the entrance of the mess hall. They turned immediately to see a beast of a man standing at the entrance. He was quite a beast, largely built with bulging muscles, his hair put up in a strange fashion, gelled out into all directions with tiny bells hanging from the tips. His eye was covered with an eye patch, which was rumored to have been stabbed out when he was in jail by an inmate, and he held a battered wooden sword over his shoulder.
He glared at the two students with such immense fierceness that a student onlooker opened a window to see if he could let in some cool air to the heated battle, but had not taken his eyes at the event having in front of him and the other onlookers. The other students had been busily eating breakfast and doing homework, when Ichigo Kurosaki and Rukia Kuchiki had erupted into another fight. This was a normal occurrence that happened every day, if it wasn't at the mess hall, the fight occurred in the courtyard, hallways, dorms, or in their English, Mathematics, and Science classes that they were forced to share together.
There was a cold silence that swept over the mess hall, no one, other than the window guy, moved a single inch. You couldn't even hear the sound of anyone's breathing, it was like all the students were holding their breath, afraid that if one of them made a sound that the beastly man would pounce on them with his ever present wooden sword.
Ichigo was the one who bravely broke the unbearable silence, "Hey, Kenpachi!" He smiled at the man, holding his hand up in a greeting, "I don't think that is necessary. Midget Kuchiki is the only one that needs to go. She can go for both of us."
"What makes you think that you are so special, Kurosaki, that you don't need to join me in the head master's office?" Rukia questioned him, jabbing him in the chest with her finger.
"Because I was chiseled by God!" He told her cheekily, holding up his arms and flexing his muscles, "You're just a grungy midget."
"Why you cocky bast…"
"Shut it! Damn it! If I have to come over there, I'm going to skin you both of you alive and hang your skin all over this damned school! Don't say another word, just get out! Head master's office! NOW!"
Kenpachi Zaraki's voiced boomed, his voice nearly shaking the walls of the mess hall. Students jumped, scared for their lives just because they were in the same room as the powerful Physical Education teacher and sports advisor.
Ichigo and Rukia even jumped, their heads now hanging low as they muttered a, "Yes, sir." Grabbed their things and filed quietly out of the mess hall. Kenpachi sighed, looked grudgingly at the other students, who stared at him, forcing them to turn away from his gaze. Then just like that, he stalked out of the mess hall.
"My, what do we have here? Ichigo Kurosaki and Rukia Kuchiki, already? It's not even eight o'clock yet. I think that's a new record for you two."
Ichigo and Rukia looked up to see the university's receptionist purring at them from behind her desk. She gave an amused laughed, flipping her long dark purple hair in its high ponytail and folding her arms over her chest.
"Good morning, Miss Yoruichi. Is Head Master Yamamoto in?" Rukia asked politely coming up to the desk, ignoring her knowing gaze as she looked at the two students. Ichigo snorted at Rukia's fake sugary tone that he hated so much, avoiding her glare when she turned around. Yoruichi gave a hearty laugh, clearly amused with their funny antics. She gave Rukia a sly smile before answering, "Yes, he's in. You guys can head on in, I don't think he has anyone in there, right now."
"Shouldn't you like know if there's anyone there? I mean you have been sitting there the entire time, right?" Ichigo gave her a sly smile of his own, eyeing Yoruichi with great interest, "Or were you in the counselor's office again?"
There was a faint, very faint, pink stain across the dark skinned woman's cheeks before she whipped a stapler at Ichigo's head, hitting him straight in the forehead. He groaned in pain, doubling over, holding his aching head.
"You bitch! What is wrong with everyone hitting me today? It's not my fault you didn't bother to check your appearance before you sat at that damn desk!" He howled, eyeing the mismatched top buttons of her tangerine colored button-down. "Ow! What the fuck?" Came another growl of pain after Yoruichi whipped, yet another stapler at his head.
"Where the fuck are you getting these damn staplers?" Ichigo hollered, backing up into a chair and letting himself fall back, clutching his forehead. Yoruichi gave him an are-you-stupid look, "This," She gestured to the room, "is an office. Repeat after me Ichigo, O.f.f.i.c.e."
"Office my ass! You just plant those staplers so you can whip them at poor defenseless students!"
"Please, Ichigo. A champion swordsman like yourself is by far the least poor defenseless student that walks in here," She rolled her eyes, "Now get in Old Man Yama's office before I decide to smash another stapler into that thick skull of yours."
Ichigo stood up abruptly, grabbing his bag and started heading for the head master's office. He was muttering incoherent words under his breath as Rukia followed him, whispering to him how stupid he was.
"Shut up, Midget. I have a headache already, I don't need a migraine." He told her roughly, leading the way to the door of their destination.
"My, someone is touchy today. Tsk tsk." Rukia smirked as she followed after him. When they got to the great mahogany doors of the office, without even bothering to knock on the doors, Ichigo barged into the spacious office.
The ancient Head Master Shigekuni Genryusai Yamamoto sat sternly against the tall, intricately carved mahogany chair. He opened one of his eyes slowly, looking to see who would make such a racket in the morning. Then when he saw the pair walk into his room, he sighed loudly, his long white mustache blowing under his breath. They always seem to ruin his quiet moments of peace. He was rather surprised that they weren't coming in literally ripping each other's head off. But, then again, the young Kurosaki boy was coming in clutching his forehead, while young Kuchiki girl came in snickering at his pain.
"Now what do I owe the honor of having you two in so early, Kuchiki, Kurosaki? Can't an old man have peace and quiet before eight in the morning?" He asked the two in his scruffy old man voice, watching as Ichigo slammed his bag on his usual seat and plopping down on it. Rukia was less dramatic, quietly taking her usual seat, sitting herself nicely in the seat, laying her messenger bag neatly on her lap.
"Why would an old man like you need peace and quiet?" Ichigo grumbled through his pain, "You too busy pleasuring that wrinkly old sa…"
Then, of course, out of nowhere, a stapler came flying at Ichigo's head, yet again, landing on the plush carpeted ground with a soft thud.
"Okay! Really, I'm serious now! Where the fuck are those stupid stapler's coming from?"
That was when Rukia broke out into an explosion of laughter. She doubled over in laughter, clutching her stomach and slapping at her bare thigh. That was when Ichigo literally pounced on her, shaking her shoulders violently.
"It was you this time, wasn't it?"
"Pfft… Of course! Yoruichi armed me with another stapler! You know, in case you said anything inappropriate!" Rukia was laughing her ass off as Ichigo shook her.
"You crazy bitch!"
"Cocky bastard!"
"Messed up Fuc.."
"Quiet! Quiet! I know where this is heading and I don't have the time or patience to listen to your petty argument!" The old head master stomped his wooden stick against the wooden ground. He had a specific square of flooring for this special stomping occasion.
The young students jumped and before Ichigo got off of Rukia he murmured, "Dumb Midget." Which only made her whisper back, "Stupid Strawberry."
"Get off of her! And sit back down!"
Ichigo sat himself down on the chair loudly, crossing his ankle over his knee and settling back into the chair. "Alright Old Man Yama, we'll do it your way. What do you want this time?"
Yamamoto sighed loudly, setting himself back into his chair, "You know the drill." He told them dryly, "Ladies first."
"Thank you, Head Master. I was in the mess hall, quietly finishing up some homework when this imbec… Kurosaki decided to purposely hold an open bottle of ketchup…" And then she continued to finish up her side of the story, of how Ichigo spilled ketchup on her. During her long story, Ichigo stole a piece of candy off the candy dish that lay on the head master's desk, popped it in his mouth and began rolling the sugary treat in his mouth as he listend to her boring story quietly. He already knew his story would be far better than her's.
"Thank you for finishing up, Miss Kuchiki. Now if you allow me to explain my side of the story, may I?" Ichigo looked at Rukia and asked politely. She just rolled her eyes and nodded.
"Thank you," by then Ichigo had gone into detective mode, the usual mode he got into when they were in this predicament, "Now, today at breakfast, I grabbed an open bottle of ketchup." He began pacing back and forth in front of the Yamamoto's desk. "Then I walked in back of Miss Kuchiki on my way back to my seat and she got up and bumped me and…" He let out a long pause forcing Yamamoto to drawl on, "Anddddd?"
Ichigo looked at Yamamoto, then slammed both of his hands on the desk, "And I totally plead not guilty to this case." With that, Ichigo plopped back down in his seat and smiled contently.
"Ughhhh!" Yamamoto placed his face in his hands, "Kurosaki, this is not the point of these conversations! This is not to plead whether you are guilty or not! That's it! I'm sick and tired of you two! Just leave! I'll call you guys in later once I meet with the faculty to decide the punishment for you two! Out! Out!" Yamamoto used his hands to shoo the two out, only for them to fight over who was going out of the door first.
After a few push and shoves, Rukia won and danced out of the room happily, Ichigo tailing behind her angrily. Yamamoto sighed, slapped his hands to his face and groaned.
"What the hell am I going to do with those two?"
"Head Master Yamamoto, I think I have the perfect idea for those two darling students."
Yamamoto opened one eye to see the person talking, and that's when he noticed the man standing in the doorway, wearing a crisp green and white stripped hat, holding a paper fan over the bottom half of his face.
"Let's hear it, Mister Urahara."
Urahara laughed lightly before saying, "Well, I was thinking…"
Yamamoto listened quietly to Urahara's idea, liking it more and more as he heard it. Then he thought, "This is perfect."
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Okay, well I just wanted to see how this went! I couldn't get the story off my mind and just had to write it down! I was afraid if I didn't finish there was no way I would be able to think properly during my dumb psat tomorrow, so I got it down tonight! This was just a chapter I was trying out, to see how many people would like it and review it. So if you want please leave a review, pretty please! Please and thank you!
