A/N: All characters belong to Janet Evanovich and I am making no money off this project. Also, I am using the song Thinking of You by Katy Perry as the inspiration for this piece. It might help to listen to the song before you listen, but you don't have to. By the way, this takes place soon after the scene in Hard Eight where Ranger tells Stephanie to go back to Morelli. This is my first story and I have to thank my amazing beta readers, Marge and Liz over on yahoo groups and Adalind who found time to help this be what it is. Thank you!

Thinking of You

I heard the locks tumble and hope bloomed in my chest.

"Ranger," I breathed.

I slowly stood up from the fetal position I was curled into on my couch. Ranger had come back; he was coming to tell me it was a mistake. What he said was all wrong, he didn't mean it and he didn't think I should go back to Joe. The ball of dread that was sitting heavily in the bottom of my stomach was slowly starting to lift.

And then came crashing back down when I realized it was Joe at the door.

"Hey, Cupcake, waiting up for me?"

He was talking…my world was collapsing in on me and he was talking. I desperately wanted that soothing calm that would have come had Ranger been the one to walk through the door. He would have silently picked my locks and when he entered, just stood by the doorway just staring at me. "Babe," he would barely breathe and that's all I would need. Ranger and I didn't need to have a whole conversation filled with loud words that went on and on without stopping. We could say so much with out saying a word. Joe had finally stopped talking and was looking at me, as if he was expecting a response.

"I'm sorry, Joe, I just don't feel good, I guess. What are you doing here?" I asked. I always knew why Ranger came to see me. It wasn't as if he told me, we just had this ESP thing between us and I always knew what he needed. I remember one time when Ranger had been in the wind for six months. It was the middle of the night and I woke up with hairs on the back of my neck rising. "Ranger," I said.

"Yeah, Babe, it's me." He answered.

I took a moment to look at the clock, 3:48 it said. I looked at his face for the first time in so long. It was tired, weary. He needed acceptance; he needed something normal, untouched by warfare and man's natural hatred of one another to hold onto his sanity. I simply lifted up my side of the covers and let him slide in with me. He held me that night, and later, when he thought I was asleep, he cried.

"I just came by to see my Cupcake, and maybe get a taste," Joe said waggling his eyebrows, dragging me back to the here and now with a resounding bang.

When the sight of the hottest man in Trenton, bar Ranger, wanting you does nothing for you, you know something's wrong. Ranger might have said something like that, but he would have had me up against a wall, with his delicious body pushed up against mine so I could feel all of him and he'd whisper those words in my ear. Ranger was magic. That must be the only explanation for how he drove me wild with just a whisper.

"I'm not in the mood tonight Joe. I already said I don't feel good and it's late. I have to be up early tomorrow and go by the office to check for more skips," I said. It was partly true. I was running low on cash and I guess being heartsick qualifies as 'don't-feel-good.' And, plus, I just don't think it's a good idea to sleep with someone when you can't seem to get someone else out of your head. I think that's in a book somewhere, or maybe something Oprah said on her TV show, hmmm.

"Come on, Cupcake, don't be like that," Joe whined as he slowly started to come towards me.

"No, Joe, not tonight." I replied as he was putting his arms around me.

He slowly started to bend his neck so that his lips could reach mine. Right as our lips were about to touch, he whispered, "You know you want it."

For all intents and purposes, I did mean to push him away, really. I was trying to take advantage of that advice, but…he was there. He wanted me when the person I really wanted didn't. If Joe could help me forget Ranger and make this hurt go away, then who was I to look a gift horse in the mouth?

Joe's lips touched mine as he started our kiss off nice and slow. Eventually, he licked my bottom lip asking for permission to come inside. I'm ashamed to admit it, but when his tongue entered my mouth I tasted Ranger. Ranger had told me he would ruin me for all men and by golly if he didn't. How do you get better once you've had the best? He told me to go back to Joe and so, here I am, doing what he told me. Yep, that was how I was justifying sleeping with him and I'm sticking to it. But, I couldn't even kiss Joe without imagining Ranger being the one who was kissing me. Joe wrapped his arms around me tighter and pulled me in closer, and I was disgusted with myself because I was imagining bigger, more toned arms the color of Mocha Latte.

Joe's left arm slid slowly down my right side until he reached my thigh. He wrapped his hand around it and lifted, hooking my knee around his hips. Ranger wouldn't do it like this, he liked to kiss and tantalize long before he got to this part. I pulled back and looked into Joe's eyes, feeling my breath catch when I realized they weren't melted chocolate in color. I guess Joe took that as a sign that I was a willing participant because he picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. It wasn't anything like when Ranger did it.

Men, they're like apples hanging from trees. I picked the best one, and while it was amazing in that first bite, I still got the seed stuck in my throat when I swallowed. You said move on…so I am. I guess second best is all I will know. Damn you, Ranger. Damn you! Why did you make me fall in love with you? Why did you make me feel the hope of true love if you were only going to throw it back in my face?

Joe deposited me on the bed, trying quickly to divest me of my clothes.

"No! No! No! This isn't how it's supposed to be!" I screamed in my head. Ranger did everything slow.

"Cupcake?" Joe said, "Why are you crying? Oh God, did I hurt you? I'm so sorry, I—"

What was going on? I sat up to be able to see him more clearly and that was when I felt the tears falling down my face. I really couldn't do this. No one but Ranger would ever be okay. It wasn't even the quality of their love making; it was the fact that, in my heart I felt like I was cheating on him. Which, of course, made no sense…he TOLD me to go back with Joe, but still, the feeling remained.

"I'm sorry, Joe. I just don't feel good. I need to be alone and get some sleep tonight," I said through these damn tears. I hate it when I cry; the only person who made me feel safe enough to cry told me to move on. I barely noticed Joe storming through the apartment cursing under his breath and finally the door slamming shut, signaling his departure.

I curled up into the fetal position again; it only felt right to end the night in the same way it began. All I wanted was for Ranger to burst in that door and say he was sorry and he didn't mean it, or for my cell to ring and for him to ask me if I was ok, because he saw Morelli's car leaving the parking lot like a bat outta hell. Anything, because all I wanted to look in his dark brown eyes and stay there forever.