A/N: English is not my mother language, so be polite with my grammar, dictionary mistakes and lack of variety in words.

Warnings: Drug addiction, use, torture, shounen-ai, yaoi.


Break My Fall

Chapter one

What Lies Beneath

Max's POV

Things were easy at the beginning… In Japan, the daily routine hadn't changed from this, since I never let someone notice… When I was taking it once in a week, I even thought it wasn't something serious. I don't know how deep I believed this to be honest. Yet it currently had become once per day, and I was trying to convince myself I didn't really need it… I was just taking it because I wanted to… Such a big lie…

"Max…" I felt my father shaking me gently to wake me up "its breakfast time" after this he walked out, leaving the door half open.

I opened my eyes. Up until now I was used to the terrible headache when I woke up, from my last night use so I didn't really paid attention to it as I walked to the bathroom and washed my face with cold water, I raised my sight to the mirror and sighed…

I was long skipping a talk to myself with lies and excuses that sounded really stupid to the part of myself who knew I was in big trouble and had to stop… But I couldn't even if I was repeating in my mind I just didn't wanted to…

I placed my hands to the sides of the sink and sighed leaning over it. My body felt heavier than usual, like every day that passed I was gaining weight, but I didn't… I actually had lost much weight during the last months, since the day I started this… I'm not sure what I was thinking back then, and why I did it… It's not like I didn't know what I was getting into… And I think it was pretty late to drag myself out… "Or I just don't want to…" I said to myself once again, and my reflection shook his head. I sighed once again and pushed the sink back, dried my face and walked downstairs.

My neck was dry thanks to my drug, but I wasn't really hungry. It's been a while since I felt hungry for something else, except of… That. I took my seat to the table as usual and smiled puppishly at my father who ruffled my hair as he was serving a hot pancake and a glass of juice to me. I drank it more than willingly, relieving with its cool touch my throat, although I didn't made out much of the taste… It was just a cold liquid, that's all I knew.

I turned my eyes to my dad when he served himself sitting opposite me, he smiled at me. I knew both my parents loved me very much… This made me feel really guilty at times and ashamed of myself… None of them had even thought that their innocent and cute, fifteen year old son, had turned to this… I don't even want to name it…

Of course my mother wasn't living with us, of course she wouldn't have noticed… As for my father… As I told you, I never gave him a reason to think I'll have a wrong turn… I was horrified of the thought he might find out sometime, so in front of him, I was always his cheerful and childish, innocent son, just as to my teammates I was the cheerful and careless member of the team, destined to keep the balance between the other members…

After I forced myself to eat half the pancake I got up and grabbed my bag, telling my father I was in a hurry, I was already dressed, so I jumped out of the house and rushed to Tyson's dojo, hearing the last moment my father telling me to take care and all, and I bit my lower lip unconsciously, as I sped up in the road.

Soon I was standing on the dojo's doorstep, in the garden, panting loud cause I had ran my way there. I took a deep breath and smiled sweet as I rolled the door open.

"Morning, guys! Sorry I'm late" I said cheerfully and ran my eyes in the room, to my teammates one by one.

Ray, who was the first one I face since he was sitting opposite the door, had his arms crossed as he sat to the ground, like usual, dressed and fresh. Tyson was looking moody, like usually when he had been woken up this early. His hair was still messed from the sleep and he probably didn't have breakfast yet… Kenny was sitting to a side, writing on his laptop, and Kai was standing next to him, with his arms crossed and his spine leaned against the wall. His head was turned to the direction of Dizzy, but his crimson eyes were coldly staring at me…

I just smiled at him and nodded.

Hillary hadn't come up yet, which I admit didn't sadden me at all for some reason… It's not that I don't like her, I just… I guess I'm pretty jealous of her…

"Good morning, Max. Don't worry, you aren't late…" Ray greeted me and I got my sit to the floor "You're ready and all? Sure you got everything?" I nodded.

We were going to a tournament to the other side of Japan. It was not that far, but we were going to stay to a hotel there, so we would be able o compete every day. We were to stay there for a couple of weeks, which kind of worried me a bit. I had my "medicine" for a couple of days, but I had no idea how I would get more when we would be there… I placed that thought to the back of my head and returned to paying attention to my teammates.

Oh, by the way… Once again Hiromi would come to make sure Tyson will be doing some of his lessons. Heh, I knew he just enjoyed being around us, especially Kai, although I was sure she would make a better match with Tyson… Of course maybe I have my personal reasons to think this… And it made me feel better probably…? Yes, I do have a crush on Kai, you got it… Yet, then I was too busy, playing it cheerful and teasing Tyson and talking with Ray to notice the pair of my beloved red eyes, were still stuck on me.

Kai's POV

I kept my eyes on him since the moment he came through the door, although I had heard his panting breath on the doorstep. In a weird way, at that time Tyson wasn't complaining, but not even Ray noticed Max's presence before he walk in… I did though. And it's not the first time he runs his way here… It's been a while he does that… Sometimes I even see him coming running to the door, as if somebody is chasing him… At first I wouldn't had paid attention to this. Max is a hyper child, usually spending much physical energy, without certain reason, but I see also has seen other things on him that made me suspicious…

I couldn't see his body under his baggy clothing, but from his face, I could tell he had lost some weight… Also, he and Tyson were sharing treats a lot. Ray was a person that ate much as well, but not much as Tyson. Well, in the appetite thing, they were usually like this:

1- Tyson- with the title "I try everything, I eat everything, I love everything that's eatable!"

2- Max- with the title "More food, more energy, more silly grins!"

3- Ray- with the title "A good chef, must know as much tastes as possible. So eat up till you choke".

Anyway. Max lastly would deny, or eat very little of any treat we were receiving… Yet again, don't think I have nothing better to do than keep my eyes on Max. I noticed this stuff after enough time had passed and he had been doing this stuff…

Except of the loss of appetite, the pale skin and the tired look, his mood was the first I noticed that changed. I either am too good at reading people or he's pretty easy readable…

When no one was around (or so he thought), his smile would fade, or weaken and he wasn't keeping much of eye contact with anyone. Even when someone was talking to him, he would find a reason to look away…

He even had changed some of his clothing habits. The bright orange jacket that used to be tied around his waist every day had now become his second skin… The long sleeves of it were usually being pulled nervously even more over his fists, and some really scary thoughts had crossed my mind sometimes of what might be hiding under them…

Yet, I might was just being paranoid… I knew Max, and he wasn't the kind of person he would do something as stupid as what I had thought… But how much can you know for a person from this distance? Just think how little they know for me… I had to be sure. I wanted to keep my team healthy, literally and not literally. So if something was going on with Max, I was to find out and fix it, before it become harmful for my team.

I pushed the wall and walked to the garden, just when Hillary was fighting to drag a huge bag through the main entrance. I rolled my eyes and walked to her, lifting the bag for her.

Girls! What the hell did she have in this? It wasn't heavy for me, but obviously for her it was, since she fell back when I lifted it, and stared down at her.

"Oh… Morning, Kai" she said with her cheeks lightly flushed, probably because she had tried too much to lift this thing "Sorry for the trouble" she continued with a shy smile.

I just turned around and walked back to the dojo, letting her bag to the floor, and she came in after me, with her hands joined in front of her, smiling.

Max's POV

I heard the door open and turned my eyes to this direction, seeing Kai's scarf swinging back as he walked out. Just after a while, I heard Hilary greeting him, and soon after he walked in caring her bag… I'm not a girl to complain that he never did such a thing for me, and either his boyfriend. I 'm not even so much gay! But... Grrr! Come on! Respect a little my pain here… Not that you know…

Suddenly, Tyson's annoying voice got me out of my thoughts "Ok, ok Romeo" he said to Kai, looking all of a sudden, perfectly awake and lively "Let's move". He growled and walked out, dragging his own bag. Yes, Tyson shares my feelings, not for Kai thought, but for Hillary… And this one was something not only I knew… It was pretty much a… Common secret. Only Hilary and probably Kai didn't know…

Ray shook his head with a smile and lifted his own bag and waited the rest to walk out first. I lifted my bag and ran next to Tyson. At the back Kai was caring still Hilary's bag and his own, following the others, as Ray closed the door, after Kenny finally walked out and we all left the dojo.

At the end of the street we got into the bus, Mr. Dickenson had got for us.

Tyson got his seat as front as possible as he always did. Most of the time, I would sit to his side, to laugh and chat, but right now I didn't felt like it, so I was glad when Kenny sat there in my place, and I got a seat, at the back. Hilary sat behind Tyson and Kenny. Surprisingly, Kai and Ray sat at different places. Ray got just a seat next to the window alone, and Kai walked and took a seat behind me. He crossed his arms and turned to the window.

A few hours later, in the drive, Tyson was snoring loud, and drooling. I couldn't see the last, but I was sure it happened. It always did. Hillary was already getting annoyed by this, so Ray invited her to sit next to him, and they had started chatting. Kenny was lively typing on his laptop. And Kai was silent as usual… I couldn't see his reflection since the light wasn't to the right place, but I wasn't sure if he was sleeping or not. I couldn't tell from his breathing pace…

And I didn't minded much really… Not right then. I was kind of upset still, with the incident with Hillary… Ok, she's cute, she's clever, and she's a girl… I get why Kai could like her… I sighed and lay down, on the two seats, staring the roof of the bus. I wanted my medicine, but I had to wait a couple of hours more… When we'd be at the hotel, it wouldn't be difficult to get it, when Tyson will be busy trying the beds of our room, and ordering staff from the menu. He wouldn't notice a thing…

My need was getting more obvious as I was thinking of Kai and Hillary… I only hoped I wouldn't have any withdrawal symptoms, so my need would be obvious only to me… In this thought I felt guilty and ashamed once again… Thinking all the people who loved me and how selfish I had acted… But everyone has their demons don't they? I know, I know there were other ways…

I sigh once again and curl to myself, wrapping my arms around myself and closing my eyes. Some of my muscles are twitching. Not hard, but I feel them, and I can't wait till we reach our destination… Feels like forever, gosh…

Kai's POV

I'd been watching his actions of his reflection at the glass. I was getting more and more suspicious… He seemed vulnerable and fragile right now.

When I saw him lying down, I thought he was just wanted to get some sleep. I wonder how he'll d this with the snoring, the typing, the chatting and all… But Max was never a difficult person I guess…

What catch my attention were his arms which were wrapped around him and his breath. I would know if he were sleeping. But he didn't. He was laid down, his eyes were shut, and he seemed peaceful but I could hear his breathes coming out faster than they should. Could it really be that I was right? Could the innocent and cheerful Max had gone down such a dangerous road?

An hour later we had reached the hotel, and one by one we took our stuff and walked out. I reached for Hilary's bag along with mine, but Ray grabbed it first and threw it to Tyson when she wasn't looking and he smiled cheekily at me.

Tyson gasped and caught the bag. He blinked a couple of times, till Hillary looked at him curiously. Then he shook his head and carried her bag out along with his, and Hillary followed him. Those two were the proof in the law of physics "Opposite attract". Sometime they would sure make quite a… Loud couple. And when of course Hillary would accept her fillings for him, instead of covering with her feelings for me. Yes. I'm not blind. I know what's going on. I just dot have any reason to not ignore it.

Just when Ray helped Kenny carry out a bag filled with Beyblade parts and pc accessories, I noticed Max hadn't even moved and turned around to look at him.

He was still curled to the same place, and his breath was still not as calm as it should for a sleeping person, but he obviously did was sleeping… I walked close to him and had a chance to have a straight look at his curled up figure.

I leaned close and shake my hand in front of his face. He didn't move. I called his name lowly. Again, nothing. I sighed and stared at him quietly… It didn't took long to me to see a really difficult to notice shiver, and a couple of stronger twitches, which almost made me sure, but I tried to pull this thought to the back of my head. I shook him soft "Max…"

He twitched and blinked sleepily a couple of times "I'm up…" he said weakly, and sat up slowly, rubbing his wide blue eyes. I sat up, and pulled up his bag, which was surprisingly light.

"No, no! I can take it!" he yelped as he stood up, and reached for his bag, having a weird deep color on his freckled, pale face. I stared at him, debating on either keeping the bag, or giving it back to him. And I didn't see the reason why I shouldn't, so I did.

Max held his green bag, and stared at it for a while. I grabbed my own and waited for Max to walk out first, and he did, still holding his bag to his lap, without even glancing at me when he did, and he was seeming a little in a hurry.

In the reception room of the hotel, we met the rest. Ray, Tyson and Hilary were already holding the keys to our rooms. I walked to them and took the key from Ray.

"You'll stay with Tyson" I said coldly. And I got weird looks just as I expected, and heard a low gasp behind me, which came from Max, I was sure "No offence, Ray, but you've started snoring as bad as Tyson, and also, I want to be sure he and Max won't sleep late, being stupid like usual".

Now, the first part was quite a big lie. Ray was soundless when he slept. He never bothered me, but he himself, wouldn't be able to know if he did or didn't snore. Tyson would be sleeping deeper to hear Ray, and Kenny would never dare to say something which would oppose to my words. As for Max, he didn't say anything, although when I turned to face him, I was sure he wasn't too glad with my announcement. If I was right, he must knew things wouldn't be easy with me around…

"Here" I told him and stretched the keys to him, staring him coldly as I always do "Make yourself comfortable…"

Max stared at the keys and took them slowly with shaky hand, which I was sure he was trying to handle. Then he walked off.

I heard Tyson mumble behind my back something like "poor Max..." and giggled. Ray pated the back of his head with a smirks and pushed him to the way of the room followed by Kenny, and Hillary headed to her room by herself, so I had to help her once again with her bag… doing as fast as I could.

Max's POV

I didn't notice when I fell asleep… But the first thing I saw when a very gentle shake woke me up, was the pair of crimson eyes of my crush… "I'm up…" I said. I wasn't much sure I was awake, and I thought I was dreaming even more when he lifted my bag, and caught me by surprised and I jumped up, without thinking "No, no! I can take it!" I said.

He stared at me blankly, and I was dragged back to reality when he gave the sack back to me… I stared at it kind of disappointed… On the other hand, I remembered my medicine was still in there. And now I could have it! So I walked out pretty fast, and he followed me to the reception. I smiled seeing the keys already to my partner's hands. We just had to go to the rooms, and I would say I was going to have a shower or sth… Neither Tyson nor Kenny would understand anything, and I'd be fine again, finally…

But suddenly Kai passed through me and took they key's from Ray "You'll stay with Tyson" he announced coldly, making my stomach sink, and a gasp escaped from my lips. Kai wasn't an idiot… And he slept really light. Then again I smiled a little hoping he'll take Kenny instead of me… Ray would be difficult to trick too, but not that much… Although…

"I want to be sure he and Max won't sleep late, being stupid like usual" he finished his sentence. Making me freeze again. He would never take Tyson instead of me, even if he wanted to torture him…

He turned around and faced me "Here" he said and raised the key with the number of our room, and I stared at it "Make yourself comfortable…" he said and, it might was just my imagination, but I would swear I heard a challenging tone in his voice. But there was nothing I could do now… So I just reached and took them slow, only to notice my need had became more obvious, and I tried to keep my hand steady. Not that anyone was to notice. I was sure none of my teammates had suspected the tiniest thing. No, never. Not me.

I walked to the stairs and stood still for a moment looking at my feet, thinking to myself 'What if he walks in and find out?' I thought, because I was thinking of taking what I need till Kai come, then I glanced to him and he was just lifting Hillary's bag, with her looking at him with a stupid smile…

I never pretended much… It wasn't like me, even after I got into drugs, I wouldn't pretend, unless I had to, to keep my friends happy… But this… Gosh, I really had started dislike this girl a lot… I shook my head and ran up the stairs getting in my room fast, just the time the others were getting out of the elevator; I closed the door, before they had the time to talk to me… I was sure Tyson would tease me about how to handle living with Kai… But I didn't care to hear this and neither was I in the mood.

The moment I saw Kai with Hillary once more, every worry of being caught was pulled back in my brain. And all I wanted was to take what I needed, so I immediately dug through my stuff to find the couple of the little injections, each closed in a plastic bag. I couldn't afford more when I bought those… After I hided the rest, well in my bag, pushed it on one of the two beds so Kai would know this one is mine, and threw my jacket next to it, just after I rushed in the bathroom and turned on the water so Kai would think I was showering. After I locked the door and sat to the floor.

I stared down at the injection filled with yellow liquid biting my lips. My heart was racing, and guilt started coming back. I shook my head and pulled it out of the plastic. I swallowed, but as my desire fired up, any dough was washed away, I stretched my arm on my knee, my back resting against the bathtub, as I slowly dug the needle in my skin. Making me bite my lips once again, but this was from sick pleasure, and I let a low moan, as the heroin was getting in my system, I leaned my head back on the bathtub, closing my eyes. I pulled the needle out, without caring of doing this carefully, and let it fall on the floor.

Now everything was going to be ok. It was ok that I was alone. It was ok that the thing I had turned into didn't bother me. It was even ok that my unreturned love was obviously meant to be… Everything was ok.

A smile appeared on my face… I'm sure I still looked innocent as always… Even in a place like this, in a condition like this. If someone was seeing my cute innocent smile, they wouldn't suspect a thing… I'm just cheerful as I should be. As everyone loved me. My parents, my teammates… I don't know what my crush was thinking of me... but my cheerful act seems to be in his likes… If only he could love me, like I do…

That was the last thought I remember. The poison had taken over me and I couldn't think clearly or control my actions. I could not hear Kai walking in our room. Or knocking the door of the bathroom. Nothing… But I was happy and cheerful… That's what mattered.

But I was far not innocent anymore… This was quite an act… Even to myself… Then I couldn't hear my deeper self yelling at me I had to stop. That this was wrong. That it was all fake. And that this wasn't me… I just sank in the moment of pleasure, my medicine gave me…

Kai's POV

As soon as I was done with helping Hillary, I walked to mine and Max's room. I didn't take so long. But Max was already in the bathroom. Once again I was getting closer and closer to the conclusion I had at the begging… And it was time to make sure.

I walked to the bathroom's door and knocked a couple of times "Max?" I asked.

No answer. I couldn't hear much, the water was covering every sound Max would be making… Although it was obvious he wasn't under the water… And there was not movement under the water. So he probably was sitting somewhere else… I heard a soft laughter, but nothing else.

I bit my lips and turned to his bag. It was the perfect chance…

I walked straight to his bed and opened the green sack at once. I took out his stuff slow, not to mess them. Soon I found what I feared I would and pulled it out. A syringe filled with amber colored liquid in it, which I could guess was heroin.

I got up sighing and shook my head glancing at the still closed door of the bathroom. It really had crossed my mind but I would never have really believed it, I mean… come on! It was Max! But I guess, no matter how hyper and carefree he might look, he too had his demons… And he had fallen in a hole with very dangerous snakes… And I had to drag him out. Yes I know what you think. But even I have a soft side. I tried it for a whole season! I do care for my teammates. And this was more than just a fight, or a betrayal. Max's very life was in line right now…

I shoved the little pack in my pocket and sat to the bed… I had guessed Max probably took another one, just a while ago when he went into the bathroom… I feel bad I left him harm himself once again. But it would be the last.

I sighed and lay back watching the roof. I wasn't sure what I had to do. The little blonde was the person who would hide in the bathroom just to hide a cut from us so we wouldn't be worried. He never complained or asked for help really… He didn't want t be trouble… But now he had trouble… I could not imagine how he got into this stuff but he did... And he needed help… My problem was that I didn't know if I had to mix others to this… For tougher people, rehabitation was huge problem. What about little Max? I could try help him cut it alone. But even this, even if I told the others, could he handle it? I dough it much… Even if I told the others, either to his parents, even if he was going to a rehabitation center… It would probably be too much for him…

I sighed once again, and decided to have a talk with him at first…

To Be Continued...


End Chater one. Ugh... I've never wrote such a story before... Actually I rarely even write any fanfics.. Hope its goo. Please r&r...

Beyblade (c) Takao Aoki

What Lies Beneath (c) Breaking Benjamin