This is an idea that came to me when I was listening to Eat, Sleep, Rave, Repeat by Fatboy Slim and Riva Starr, as the title of the fic suggests. Being at a nightclub last night also motivated me to write this fic. I hope you enjoy it.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Total Drama. The song which the story was inspired from is owned by Fatboy Slim and Riva Starr.
One night in Toronto Justin was at a nightclub hoping to pick up some hot chicks. Sadly, most of the women there were not Justin's type, simply because they were not hot enough. Some of them were "too fat", even though a few of the women he labelled as "fat" were skinnier than him. Some of the women were wearing glasses. Some of them had braces. Some of them were gingers. Obviously, those were not valid reasons to pass these women off, but knowing Justin's shallow stupidity, he did pass these women off. The only ones that were "hot" in Justin's eyes turned him down. Most of them thought he was a creep, or they knew why Justin turned down some of the women and wanted nothing to do with a shallow asshole like him.
Believing that he simply wasn't trying hard enough, Justin went up to the DJ booth and shoved B, who was the disk jockey, out of the way. Justin put on some My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic music. While the music was on, Justin proceeded to show off his dance moves, which were not that good. Everyone else at the club found his moves to be much more disturbing than the music the male model put on. Believing that the people were leaving because they were angry at Justin for not giving them enough of himself, Justin unzipped his fly. Naturally, this caused half the people at the nightclub to scurry out of the building.
Assuming the people wanted more, Justin grabbed a can of some silly string out of his pants pocket and proceeded to spray the crowd with the string. More people left the club in utter disgust. Justin noticed a cat wandering around the dance floor. That's when he hand an idea. More women would want to date Justin if he had a cat in his arms. So while the cat was too busy licking spilt alcohol to notice its surroundings, Justin snuck up to the cat and grabbed it. The cat screeched and clawed at Justin until the model screeched even louder and dropped the cat. The cat ran off, never wanting to go back to this place again. Justin began to wail at how ugly he was.
"Sir, you are under arrest," said a voice from behind Justin.
"Is it because I am UUUUUUUUUUGLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!" Justin whimpered.
"No," the cop scowled. "You are under arrest for not paying the ten dollar fee to get into this nightclub; for entering a restricted area without permission, which was the DJ booth; for assaulting B; for publicly displaying your genitals and for spraying innocent bystanders with silly string without permission! You also manhandled a cat, but since it did not meet the criteria for animal abuse under the law I can only arrest you for the first five offences. I also wish mocking a woman for not being "hot enough" is an arrest-able offence," he added, glaring.
"So you're not going to arrest you for being ugly?" Justin asked hopefully.
"DIDN'T YOU HEAR A WORD I JUST SAID?!" snarled the cop. "You're under arrest for two counts of unauthorised entry, two counts of assault and flashing your dick! It's still hanging out of your pants!"
"Yeah, but you don't consider me ugly, so I have now regained the confidence to look for more women to have sex with," Justin beamed, running out of the club with delight.
"HEY! COME BACK HERE!" the cop roared. He proceeded to run after Justin. He should've just cuffed Justin the moment he saw him, but he never expected Justin to run off like that. The cop sighed and ran after the model.
Justin ran off and found a diner, hoping there would be more women there. However, of the ten or fifteen people that were in the diner, only one of them was female, who was the waitress. Fortunately, for Justin, that female turned out to be Lindsay.
Suddenly, Chef emerged from the kitchen and noticed Justin staring at his waitress. He also noticed that Justin's bird has fallen out of his next. "You want to buy something?" he asked, rolling his eyes.
"No thanks, I'm just dancing to the hum of your fridge," Justin sarcastically replied, winking at Chef.
"Then get the fuck out of my restaurant!" Chef barked.
"No, I like it here," Justin insisted, "I like the lighting. Besides, I like your waitress; she looks pretty hot indeed." Before Chef could stop him, Justin ran up to Lindsay, grabbed her by the arm and dragged her out into the street.
"Hey, what gives?!" Lindsay scowled at Justin. "You're hurting me!"
"I think you're hot!" Justin smirked at Lindsay.
"Well you're not Tyler!" Lindsay snarled. "Only Tyler can say I'm hot!" And so she kicked Justin in the balls.
Justin was furious. He was sick and tired of hot chicks rejecting him. He grabbed Lindsay and continued dragging her along the street until Izzy came out of nowhere and pounced on him.
"Hey! What are ya doing?!" Justin screamed at Izzy. "Are you trying to make me ugly?!"
"Sorry, Justin, Izzy thought you were an object!" Izzy cackled.
"I'm not an object!" Justin gasped at Izzy's insult.
"Too bad!" Izzy laughed. "All of this crack E-Scope has found still wants to objectify you!" Without warning, Izzy opened up a black sack over Justin's body and proceeded to dump the contents all over him.
"Are you Tyler?" Lindsay randomly asked Izzy.
"Yep," Izzy lied.
"Okay," Lindsay smiled, following Izzy off into an alleyway.
Justin sighed and rose up from the pile of cocaine, only to be met by the glaring face of the policeman who was going to arrest him earlier.
"Oh shit," said Justin.
In addition to his earlier offences, Justin was also charged with kidnapping and attempted rape. Justin was brought to the police station in disgrace and was locked up in a cell. Justin was eventually allowed to go to the phone and call someone. Justin dialled Trent's number and waited for Trent to answer.
"Where were you Justin?" Trent demanded.
"I was at the club," Justin replied.
"Yeah, well you were probably at the wrong place," Trent told him. "You were supposed to be at that gig with us. But since you didn't show up we had Vito take your spot. He did a very good job and obviously it was a better performance than you could ever dream of achieving. He's replaced you."
"WHAT?!" shrieked Justin. "Is it because I'm ugly?!"
"No, it's because you're an asshole," Trent scolded him. "And before you ask, no, I will not bail you out of jail. I've heard from the cops everything you did and you can just rot for all I care. Oh, and Courtney is B's lawyer so you're fucked. So yeah… have fun in Hell."
"HEY!" screamed Justin. "FUCK YOU-!"
Trent hung up before Justin could blast him with more insults.
There and done. I was originally going to write this fic differently, where Geoff tells a story about one crazy night he had. He is the character that would be the most relate-able to the lyrics of Eat, Sleep, Rave, Repeat after all. Then I thought of Justin, and now this is the end result. I cannot take Justin seriously, and I love portraying him in awkward situations in my fics. I hope you enjoyed that fic and I will be spamming the fandom with more stories and updates in the New Year. By the end of 2014 I want to have my 150th story published.
Happy New Year!
