-1I don't get you.
I can't forget what you have forgotten
All alone.
I've never been so alone.
I was pretending.
Your secret kiss of confidence
My escape
The perfect game to play
Don't cry out
Cease Fire
Severus Snape. He was my friend. The first one I had ever made in the wizarding world. He taught me spells an gave me tips for potions. He helped me excel. He would steal my books and return them with notes written on the side. I probably wouldn't have done so well if not for him.
In the summer we would hide in the park reading our books and practicing wand movements. He was always picked on. Probably because he would act stand offish. But nobody ever took the time to understand. They didn't know about his mum or his dad. They didn't know about the bruises or the yells. All they knew was that he acted better than them. Not in the way that Potter did. But Severus had this unfortunate talent of sounding arrogant. It had to do with his dry intonation. He never used that tone with me though. He was always nice and interested.
I believe he was my first love. But they are called first for a reason. You learn a lot about yourself…and the other person. At Hogwarts we would hide in the library talking and sharing our thoughts. He would always walk me back to the tower at night. One night when I turned to give him my usual hug, after studying, he kissed me. It was awkward and blissful. My lips slid against his slightly as he caught me off guard. I remember my eyes grew wide as my heart raced. His hands held my shoulders firmly, keeping me from falling. I remember closing my eyes and letting myself drift into the kiss. A cough interrupted the moment as Remus walked by us and went through the portrait hole. I'm ashamed to admit how embarrassed I was to be caught. I was slightly ashamed of Severus.
He didn't look handsome, but his intelligence and kindness were what made him attractive. He showed a side to me that he refused to show anyone else. I hated the side that he showed the school. It was so cold and careless. The utter opposite of the Severus that I knew.
I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when he called me a "mud blood." He had started to change towards me a bit before. Like he was ashamed of me. He kept blowing off our study dates to be with Avery and other Death Eaters.
He broke my heart that day. In front of the school. Remus was the only one who knew. After that day even Remus would pull pranks on Severus. And now as I pack for this next term I dread seeing him. I have only seen him as he walks by my house. He looks up at my window and stands for a moment before he turns and walks back home. He's done this everyday for the entire summer. He sent me two owls at the beginning but I sent them back. I didn't even open the scroll. One owl wouldn't leave until I took the scroll and gave a response. I didn't read it. The only reply he got were ashes in a baggy.
I can't really find a way to forgive him. I feel so betrayed. I feel dirty for ever kissing him. I can't even look at him. Every time I see him I feel ashamed an embarrassed. How dare he. How dare he! How DARE he! I cant stand this. I can't stand him.
