Day 0.

The first thought he remembered having was-

It's bright.

Too bright, in fact – So much so that, as the light filtered through his closed eyelids and into his cornea, Kazuto's eyes seemed to ache a little. He took a second to curse that in his mind.

He deserved to have this final moment before his death, god damn it. After everything he'd been through, everyone he had lost-

Lost.

Kazuto felt the alarming lack of any feeling in his arms and legs. However, most importantly, he felt his arms and legs. They ached in the back of his mind. Was—Was he supposed to feel like this?
Was he supposed to feel anything at all? A mere moment ago, Kazuto held Asuna Yuuki in his arms and felt as their body disintegrated to travel to the great beyond, watching in their last seconds as what remained of the beautiful castle in the sky crumble to dust and fall to the unending void below.

He had accepted his untimely demise. Feared it, of course. Cried for it, obviously. But he had accepted it.

So… Was this it?

Kazuto felt his eyes flutter open, then close almost as quickly as the light filtered in without anything to protect his apparently tender eyes. Instinctively, he moved his arm to cover his eyes, shield his gaze from the brightness.

Only to feel something pulling, resisting, even as he managed. Was that… a rope? No. A tube?

Kazuto's eyes opened at last, for real this time. White walls and an equally white ceiling greeted him, almost tauntingly. Or was he picturing that? He couldn't be sure.

This… There was no way this could be real. And yet, something deep inside him, behind the searing agony in his chest, told him, clear as day even amidst his short-lived panic:

It was.

His heart fluttered painfully in his chest. His heartbeats grew erratic, and he felt the soft beeping of the machinery to his right – so soft, in fact, he had barely even noticed it was there until now – turn quick and erratic.

It wasn't supposed to.
It wasn't supposed to be beating at all.

And yet, it was.

Kazuto struggled to raise from his position even as his back ached and screamed for him to stop. He need to-

Asuna.

He-

Kazuto managed to sit up, at least, and, as he stopped his effort, the aching ceased to torment him. The hospital gown was loose, and the fabric itched against his skin – Pale, it was so god damn pale – as if his body itself was screaming at the wrongness of it all, protesting to an unfair God.

He needed to

He needed to find Asuna. He needed to. He needed to find out if—

The weight on his head registered at least. It felt almost natural, but at the same time not. Like something that was placed there long, long ago. And hadn't it? He might have been away for years and years, but the weight of a NerveGear upon his head was something he would never, ever forget. Tentatively, he raised his hands to the helmet -

And removed it. Promptly, he set the NerveGear in his lap, staring at the soft, green, blinking light for a second or two. Raven locks of hair fell over his eyes, longer than they should have been, and he felt their way upon his shoulders as well.
This? This cemented it.

He was out. It wasn't a dream, couldn't be, for this wasn't what he would dream of. Had the server shut down before the NerveGear could register the command to release the electromagnetic currents that would shut down his brain? It was a possibility.

He had no way to be sure. And it didn't matter. He had to find Asuna. He had to find out if she was alright, had to—

He…

The door slid open to his right. He heard the wood sliding through the metal rails on the floor, just as he heard the soft gasp that escaped the nurse or doctor who was outside, same way he heard her cover her mouth with her hands in shock. Only after that did the shift his gaze to her figure, gray orbs turning with his face to stare at the now pale nurse (hey, look at that, it WAS a nurse.) who was holding open the door to…

To what?

There was a reason he had resorted to escapism in the form of VRMMOs. In SAO, he had a purpose, he had friends and he had a focus.

Inside the beautiful castle in the sky, he wasn't Kirigaya Kazuto, useless weeb who lived in a house full of familiar faces he wasn't sure he knew and disappointment to everything anyone had held dear – He was Kirito, the Black Swordsman, one of the Clearers.
Of course he had known it wasn't forever, one way or another, but it hadn't sunken in until that very moment that he may very well be heading back to the way everything had been, to drown in the same monotony and sidelong glances from…

He held back a wince, just as he had held back his tears when that happened.

It didn't matter.

It didn't matter.

Instead, staring into the nurse's emerald eyes with his own, he muttered the only thing he could, the one and single thing he could think of –

"A-Asuna. Asuna Yuuki. I… I need to see Asuna Yuuki."

His voice was raspy and low-pitched, and his throat burned with the effort it took to pronounce even a single word, after so many years unused. The sound seemed to bother the nurse deeply, as well, because she took a step back in shock before rushing off somewhere.

She's probably run off to find a doctor to attend to my condition.

He was rational enough to figure that out, even if he hoped oh so dearly that she had in fact decided to look up Asuna. The emotional part of his brain screamed at him to get his ass off that bed – He needed to look for Asuna, he needed to know she was okay.
Just as he had done back then on the first floor, he squashed that emotional part of his under his feet and let rationality take over.

He was numb enough not to feel a thing on any limb, so god knows how many tubes would tear if he tried to get up and walk. So he waited, for once in his life.


Suguha wasn't having quite a good day.

Okay, perhaps that was a bit of an understatement. Her day was, so far, a train wreck of never before seen proportions, in her own opinion.

The raven-haired girl wasn't one to actually let things get to her. That had always been important – Stay cool, for people usually won't. Don't let things get to you, or they'll tear you down from the inside. And she usually didn't feel it was too hard to keep that going. Her life was, if one was to look at it from an outside perspective, good enough. She had friends, even if not many, who were loyal and fun and with whom she spent quite some time with.

She had a supportive family, who did everything they could to make sure she was always okay. Her mother was an Angel, in her opinion and she could never love anyone as much as she loved her.

Well, no one except—

Her Grandfather, though… He was a different story.

They all knew his time was coming. Kirigaya Ikki was already 97-years old, and day by day he grew frailer, weaker – Each day, the old man regretted more and more of his choices.
She could tell he made an effort to grow closer to her, to them, to make up for his callous behavior back then. And her mother had forgiven him, because how could she not? He was her father above all else.

She, however, couldn't quite find it in her to do the same, just as she never quite managed to forgive herself. And they both knew why, how could they not, but there was a silent, unbreakable agreement between the members of the Kirigaya household that it wasn't to be addressed. And yet, he had the gall to talk to her about Kazuto. After what he did to him, so long ago – After the night that had sent everything to utter shit. To her, who had known about it and done nothing, because she was afraid.

Her mother had told her it was okay; she did what anyone else would have when faced with what she had found out. Her grandfather was scary, and, as much as she valued her brother – cousin? Something else? – above all else, her fear of being punished as well if she dared to say anything had overcome her righteous anger.

She had promised to him, the next day, that she would practice twice as hard. And he had agreed, because the fiery determination in her eyes was unwavering, and perhaps because he could feel the fallout as well as she could. But no amount of promises would ever erase the hurt in his eyes as he looked up at her from the corner in the dojo, face bruised and lip bloodied, even as she ran off.

Nor would she ever forget the cold look in his eyes the next day.

That was something she had to live with, had had to do so even before he had fallen for Kayaba's death trap and would do so long after, whether he survived or –

No.

She refused to think it. She refused to even consider it.

Her shinai felt heavier than it ever had against her back – Perhaps only now she felt the weight of her own mistakes on her makeshift band-aid on a bleeding wound.

Suguha sighed, sliding open the door to her door. No lights were turned on, but the shadows cast all over the house were gentle, comforting. It was just as lonely as it was homey, and really, wasn't that fitting?

The girl set her Kendo Equipment just by the door, lacking the energy to drag it all upstairs. She'd return to do so in a few hours – In the meantime, Suguha planned on taking a long, warm shower and then enjoying a few hours in Alfheim all by herself.

Alfheim. A game released for the Amusphere, spiritual successor to the NerveGear. It had been a year since she purchased the game and the console, but she still remembered the day with crystal clarity. It was a sad, desperate attempt to feel closer to Kazuto. To understand what made VRMMOs his preferred method of escapism – What made these fantastical worlds so different from reality, in the end?

She never quite found out the answer to neither question, but it was soothing. To be someone else, someone pure, who didn't carry the weight she did.

Her musings were interrupted promptly – She felt her cellphone vibrating against her leg. Instantly, her entire body shivered in surprise, and her aching muscles tensed. A soft sigh escaped her rosy lips, and formed a moist cloud of humidity in the cold air beyond her lips. She grabbed the apparel from her pocket, staring at the caller ID for a second on two.

She was exhausted. But it wouldn't do to ignore a call from her mother, would it?

She pressed the green, glittering button, and placed the cold device against her ear, feeling the glass against the soft skin in her cheek.

"Yes?"

Silence. The tense kind of silence – If a pen dropped anywhere in the house at that moment, Suguha probably would be able to hear it from where she was.

"Sugu,"

Her mother's voice rang against her ear, soft and trembling. And because they knew each other well, she knew there was something very, very wrong.

"Mom? What happened? Is everything okay?"

More hesitant silence on her mother's part. Sugu's heart almost stopped for a second, for she had never seen her mother like that, not since the incident.

"It's… It's about Kazuto."

Her eyes widened.

No.

No.

It couldn't be.

"W-What? What happened? Is he okay? Is he-"

She heard sobbing, but… it wasn't sad. Not the desperate whimper she expected to hear had that happened. No, instead, it was almost relieved.

"It's—He's awake, Suguha. Your brother is awake."

Everything froze. Her heart stopped.

Stopped, fluttered, and started beating again. Her sweater suddenly felt cold against her skin.

"What?"

"He's—He's awake! It's… I'm coming over to pick you up!"

Years would pass, but she would never, ever forget the way she felt right then.