Dean loved Cas that much was obvious, but he didn't want to say those three words out loud, because he felt it would jinx him. It was silly, he knew, but he couldn't help thinking like that after everything that happened to everyone he loved. He couldn't afford to lose Cas, he wouldn't be able to bear it, so rather than say "I love you", he said "I need you". He never realized this bothered Cas, until late one afternoon.
"I love you Dean," Cas leaned in and kissed Dean's soft lips once again, tracing his anti-possession tattoo with his finger.
"Me too," Dean replied, kissing back tenderly, as he stroked Cas' cheek.
Cas pulled away abruptly, and turned away. "You always say that. You've never admitted that you love me, at least not directly. Do you love me, or do you just use me for the sex, just like you used to do with all those girls?"
Dean felt like he'd been slapped. How dare Cas accuse him of that?
"Cas, look at me," Dean spoke, his voice rough. He was trying to mask the pain, but he could feel the tears threatening to pour out of his eyes.
Cas ignored Dean, and started to get up, but Dean grabbed his arm. "Castiel, you look at me right now," he demanded, pulling Cas down.
Cas finally looked at him, and Dean saw tears in his gorgeous blue eyes. "I do love you Cas, I've loved you since you raised me from perdition. You want to know why I never say it? Because everyone I love dies. Just like everyone Sam sleeps with dies, everyone I love ends up dying one way or another, and I'm scared that if I say it, you'll die too. I wouldn't be able to live without you; I wouldn't be able to go on because you complete me. I love you with all of my heart and soul; I'm just not the touchy-feely type. Please don't think that I'm using you, because that is the last thing I would do. I used to sleep with every hot girl I cam across because I was ashamed to admit that I like guys, and I was trying to fill a void inside of myself, but you've filled it for me. I don't need anyone else, I just need you."
Dean took a deep breath and wiped Castiel's tears away with his thumb. He wrapped his arms around Cas and they held each other. Dean let the words sink in for Cas, and kissed his lips softly.
After a while, Cas finally spoke. "I'm sorry Dean. I'm just very insecure. You're just so handsome, and everyone seems to want a piece of you. I just thought that maybe you didn't love me, and were getting tired of always having to teach me things. "
"Never, Cas. I love teaching you new things, and I could care less about everyone else. It's you and I against the world, baby!" Dean grinned, and took Castiel's hand in his, squeezing it lightly. He tackled Cas to the floor, and began kissing his face and neck. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you," he kept repeating, kissing a different spot each time.
Cas was smiling now, all his worries washed away by Dean's actions. It went from playful kissing to tender love –making. It was like a spark had been renewed, and the sex felt almost like the first time. There was something special about having sex for love purposes, and not due to lust, and that night, the profound bond between Dean Winchester and Castiel was rekindled.
