AN: This story is full of dramatic elements that are not for those who don't like weepy, abuse, sob stories. It also doesn't contain a lot of romance, although love is still one of its elements. So, if you are not fond of drama stories that do not contain romance, then this story is not for you. I did this because I wanted to create a story that doesn't only concentrate on romance and the love lives of the main characters. I know using Twilight as the basis means I should put even an ounce of romance, but I did not. I wanted this story to be different and I hope you guys enjoy it. Thank you!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters and Twilight for that matter. The plot and Ellie, however, are mine.
BROKEN ROAD
Routines
"As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of living, new dimensions of the soul will not emerge." ~ Henry Van Dyke
~*~*~*~*~
Jasper Swan
I woke up at 6:00 at the sound of the alarm clock. Another day and yes, I am still alive. I can't believe that that is actually possible. I immediately turned off the alarm in case it woke my siblings up and banged my head in the bedside table in the process. I was squished to the side of this old king-sized bed and I was almost using the table as a pillow. Good grief. But I really couldn't blame the size of the bed. It was more than enough for one person, but with four people in it, things get a bit crowded.
Yep, I am Jasper Swan, seventeen and a junior and I share this bed (and the room) with my three siblings: Bella, Jacob, and Ellie. Must be embarrassing for someone as old as me. But, the circumstances called for it so I have no choice. As I stood up from the bed to get ready for school and make breakfast, I looked at their sleeping figures. Ellie was still sleeping soundly beside my previous spot and Bella and Jacob were pretty much still in very deep sleeps. I couldn't help but feel a little jealous of all the sleeping time they could get. I had to get up at the crack of dawn to get ready. I quickly shoved those thoughts out of my mind, reminding myself that it was my duty as an older brother. If you can call us brothers and sisters.
The four of us didn't look alike. Not even a teeny-tiny bit. I, for example, had honey-blonde wavy hair. My eyes were a light shade of blue and I was relatively lanky. Bella had straight brown hair and her eyes were brown. Jacob's hair was pitch black and his Native American features were very striking. Ellie had very light brown hair that was straight at the top but had little loose curls at the end. She had green eyes whose color almost disappears when she's under the sun. We didn't have anything in common physically. It's complicated.
After I crossed the room to the bathroom, I suddenly became aware of a little throbbing at the back of my head. Dammit, not another migraine. I got them a lot, especially if I didn't get enough sleep. Last night was one of those sleepless nights. Our father, Charlie Swan, most revered police chief of Forks, Washington, got home last night in a bad mood. And, bad mood meant bad night for us.
The four of us shared a secret. A secret we felt we were going to take to our graves. We were being abused by our father, and no one knew about it. It wasn't all physical abuse. He usually just gave a few slaps, punches, and kicks. What hurt more was the verbal abuse. Even if he never laid a finger on us, his words always haunted our nightmares. It all started two years after our Mom, Renee, left us. I was around fourteen, Bella was thirteen, Jacob was twelve and Ellie was five. Apparently, according to what Charlie told us, our mom left because of financial problems. He told us the two of them couldn't agree on that aspect and it was Renee's choice to leave. I wasn't stupid enough to really believe that reason but I have no choice because it's the only reason I can really imagine.
For a twelve year old, at that time (when Renee left), I was fairly perceptive. My parents didn't know, but occasionally, I could see through them. I knew that they really weren't getting along all the time and I knew there was something wrong. They still fed us some information, though.
The four of us knew we had different fathers. And, that was the main complication of everything. We were only half-brothers and sisters. During Renee's marriage with Charlie, she was involved in a lot of affairs and I didn't know how Charlie endured that. Mom did say that when me and Bella were born, Charlie thought we were his. But then, Jacob came and he had Native American qualities. This made Mom reveal that the three of us weren't actually Charlie's. They separated after that and Mom took the three of us with her.
During the time away from Charlie, Mom told us a little about our real fathers, not that the three of us actually asked. She told me that my father's name was Carter Whitlock, and that was all that I got. She also told me that what she had with him wasn't exactly an affair. How on earth was I supposed to understand what she said about "wasn't exactly an affair" at five? I only understand what she said, now that I'm older. Her relationship with Carter Whitlock was only a one-night stand. Not that it made me care. I really couldn't care anymore.
Bella's father, on the other hand, was a real affair. Renee didn't tell us who he was though. She only told us that she loved him very much and I actually had the guts to ask if she loved him more than Charlie. I got grounded for it. Jake's father was obviously Native American and Mom said that was all we were going to get. To me, Jacob's father's genes must have been strong because Jake looked nothing like Renee at all. Not even a little detail. After all those things were brought out into the open, Renee never mentioned our different fathers again. Bella, Jacob, and I ended up forgetting that we weren't really fully blood-related. We never talked about it.
After six years of separation, Renee and Charlie met again in Vegas. From what I have concluded, they reconciled there and I had only the faintest idea on how couples actually reconciled. After two months, Mom found out she was pregnant with Ellie. My parents were so happy and the only reason I can think of was because it's their actual first baby. The four of us moved in with Charlie after that. We were already under Charlie's name, Swan, so he had no need to adopt us. The few years after Ellie was born must've been the best years of my life. And, I knew they were never going to happen again.
During the time that we lived with Charlie again, I knew people perceived us as a happy family. They didn't know what was actually happening. Two years after Ellie was born, Renee rekindled with her old habits. She started drinking again and her fights with Charlie started to get a lot more frequent. One day, we woke up and our mom was gone, no note left or even a kiss goodbye. I was twelve, Bella was eleven, Jacob was ten, and Ellie was three. That was the day my mom left and all hope of ever finding her again vanished.
The one thing weird about all of that was that Charlie didn't abuse us right after Renee left. He didn't show any signs that he blamed us for her departure or anything. Sure, he was a lot more cranky, but it wasn't a bother. That is, until two years after Renee left. He came home with a vengeance and took all of that out on Ellie. She was only five. And, I was a fourteen year old boy who had no idea how to protect her.
But, that was three years ago. I've learned a lot since then. I've learned to cook dinner on time so that it would be ready when Charlie came home. I learned to cook, launder, clean the house and clean up after Charlie. I've learned how to raise my three siblings, even though sometimes I feel like a complete failure; I've learned to reject that feeling too, by now. I've learned to endure every blow and insult my Father threw at me, knowing it would only be worse if I fought back. I've learned to stop wishing that our Mother would come back and that she would bring our once happy past with her if she did.
~ * ~ * ~ *~ *~
"Bella, hurry up. We're going to be late," I said, through the bathroom door. It was almost 7:15 and we still had to take Ellie to elementary school. Bella walked out of the bathroom and looked at me. "Is it still obvious?" she asked. I looked at the general area of the bruise she had gained last night. It can barely be seen because she covered it with make-up. Bella was an expert by this time.
"Nope. Good job," I reassured her. It was only one of those times when Charlie got too carried away. He never usually hit us. But when he did, he kinda made sure it was in the most inconvenient place, where it was hard to hide. At least, physical wounds healed. I wasn't so sure about the verbal abuse he did last night. I would have to talk to Bella about that some time, again. She rushed downstairs to get breakfast and I scanned the room just in case we forgot something. Ellie was rummaging through something in the closet and I went over to investigate.
"What are you looking for?" I asked, peeking into the cramped closet the four of us shared. We didn't have a lot of clothes, so we shared the cramped space. She didn't answer. Instantly, I knew it was something serious again, to her at least. She never ignored me like that. Like she was reading my mind, she suddenly faced me and from the look on her face, I knew I was right. She was looking for something serious.
"What is it?" I prompted her. Her eyes filled with tears and she started ranting, "My lucky bracelet! I can't find it! I looked everywhere and Jakey said he didn't hide it from me! I can't find it, Jazzy!" It still startles me how she cries so easily. But then again, she's only eight. And, I knew the bracelet was really special to her. It was mom's. Ellie never went anywhere without it.
"Don't you remember where you put it last? It has to be here somewhere. I mean, it doesn't have legs, so it can't walk on it's own, right?" My attempt at humor failed because Ellie continued crying while wiping the back of her hands on her eyes. I softened my tone.
"You know that crying won't help anything, right?" I asked her. Another one of my failing attempts at teaching her how to be good, something her parents should be doing.
"But you said, it's okay to cry when it hurts," she answered me, sniffling.
"Yes, I did. But, sometimes we have to act first before we give in to our emotions," I knew the advice was kind of heavy for a little kid but I also knew that Ellie understood. She was very perceptive for her age, given our situation. "Besides, we use our eyes and hands to look for things we've lost, not our tears."
"But what if I never find it again. Mommy will get mad at me because I lost it," she told me.
She won't give a damn, I muttered to myself, too low for Ellie to hear. My head was still throbbing and any mention of our mother didn't exactly put me in a better mood.
"Don't worry about that. We're going to be late," I answered, handing her a tissue. I took her bag and went downstairs. Bella and Jake were eating in the kitchen. I had already eaten breakfast so I just went outside to wait on the porch. "You guys make sure that's cleaned up before we leave. Charlie might come home in the middle of the day," I said over my shoulder. I sat on the porch swing and just relaxed, even for a little while. It was the only time I had alone.
After about ten minutes, I felt someone tapping me on the shoulder. I realized I had fallen asleep. Well, at least it lessened the migraine a little bit. "Jazzy, let's go." I opened my eyes and the three of them were standing there, like they've been watching me for some time. Ellie giggled and Jacob lightly swatted the back of her head. Ellie glared at him and then looked back at me, still smiling. The two of them confuse me sometimes. One minute the two of them are inseparable, and then the next minute, Ellie would be crying her eyes out because Jacob did something that pissed her off. Put together, though, they were like partners in crime and I was the usual victim. Nothing too serious though, just the occasional pointed staring for example. Like the one they did just now. Good thing, I had Bella as my savior.
"Okay, you two. Leave the old man alone," Bella said, ushering Ellie and Jacob down the porch, whilst giving me a smug grin. Okay fine, Bella's no savior now.
I stood up and got into the old Rabbit. Charlie had enough care to give me this secondhand car so that he wouldn't have to drive us to school. Not that he actually would drive us, but at least it saves us from walking six blocks to and from school. I pulled out of the drive way and Jacob and Ellie started their daily routine of playing I Spy. They changed the mechanics, though. In their game, one of them would say, "The first one who sees a brown cat...", and so on. They do it back and forth and Ellie doesn't get tired of it. Jacob, however, after two rounds, just plays along and lets her win. I stopped in front of the elementary school and got out of the car, Ellie following suit. Her cheerful mood suddenly disappeared. I took her hand and walked her to the steps. When I let go, she was a little hesitant to do the same. "Ellie, come on. What's wrong?" I asked.
She shook her head and gave me a hug. Her head rested on my stomach; she was small for her age. I patted her head and said, "You'll be fine. Be good." She was still standing at the top of the staircase as we drove off, the other kids passing her by.
"What was wrong with Ellie?" Bella asked. That was one of the most striking traits my sister had. She could notice even the smallest things and the exchange between me and Ellie outside was something she definitely wouldn't miss.
"It was nothing, Bella, " I answered, trying to reassure her. I didn't want her to get too worked up about things. She already did that a lot. But, Ellie acted like that everyday when I dropped her off at school. I'm not saying I'm not bothered by the behavior, but I just let it pass. I know Ellie would come to me if she was having problems at school.
Bella nodded and was silent the rest of the way. I knew, out of the four of us, that she was the one who dreaded school the most. The kids at Forks High, well, they weren't exactly what you'd call nice. Especially to Bella.
The bullying started a few years after Mom left us, around the time Charlie started abusing us. Apparently, the kids found out about what happened to us and a little bit about our background. They knew we had different fathers and that our mother was with many men. Most of what they say have segued from the true story by now. They make things up and spread them everywhere, even though they were far from real. They had no idea about the abuse, though, which was good. Their parents prevented them from saying anything bad about our father, just because he's chief of police. But that didn't stop them from saying anything bad about us. Bella was the usual target and I'd pay a million dollars for that to change. The kids always picked on her, never me or Jacob. I don't know why it's never the two of us but I won't bother to find out. The question wasn't, "Why not me or Jacob?". It was, "Why is it always Bella?". Not one day would pass without one of the kids insulting her or sometimes even hitting her. The three of us don't really have a lot of friends so we stuck together.
I got into the parking lot and we sat in the car for another second or so. I faced my brother and sister. "We're going to be fine," I said, as I always did every morning. Bella refused to look at me and she kept staring at her lap. She never believes me when I say that. I couldn't blame her. I had my doubts, too. Jacob looked at me for a second but then averted his gaze as well. This wasn't going anywhere. "Come on. Let's go," I said as I got out of the car. The moment I stepped out, Lauren Mallory started her daily routine.
"Oh look! The ugly, pathetic ducks are here!"
I was used to ignoring her and putting on a straight face. Jacob had difficulty, seeing as he was now glaring at Lauren. I put a hand on his shoulder, knowing his fighting tendencies. "She's not worth it," I said, shaking my head. We walked to the building together ignoring the usual stares and rude remarks. I always wondered why everyone, and I mean everyone, got on with the fun. There was rarely anyone who'd keep quiet and just shut up.
It was our routine to walk one another to class, seeing as it was the worst part. I constantly get worried that Bella would get hurt or Jacob would get into a fight whenever the three of us were apart. Call me an overprotective brother all you want, but our lives are screwed up enough and there won't be any more space for other things. Half of the day passed with nothing eventful happening, although I really wasn't praying for it. I picked my siblings up from their classrooms and headed to lunch. We sat at our usual table, in the corner of the cafeteria. People didn't usually pass here, but Bella still sat between me and Jacob, just in case. We ate in silence and it wasn't unusual. Before I knew it, beside me, Bella burst into tears. I put my sandwich down and turned my chair to the side so that I was facing her.
"What's wrong, sweetie?" I asked, putting a hand on her back.
"It was just in Biology. And, I wasn't ready ---, " But she couldn't continue. I didn't press her, knowing it'll upset her more. Jacob stopped eating and put down his fork, too. He wasn't one to show emotions but it was kind of easy to read it off his face.
"Jake... " I muttered and I shook my head when he looked at me. And just when I thought Bella was starting to calm down, Jessica Stanley comes marching towards our table and kicks Bella's chair. Hard. Bella starts sobbing again and Jacob gets up from his chair. I had to hold him down with one hand, whilst supporting Bella with the other. I didn't want him to get into a fight. Jacob sat back down on his chair and watched Jessica's retreating back. I looked down at Bella and tears were still streaming down her face. She needs to calm down.
"Shhh, it's okay. She's gone now. You're okay," I tried to soothe her as she cried into my chest.
Oh God, when will this end?
~*~*~*~*~
Ellie Swan
I hate waiting for Jazzy to pick me up. They finish school at 3:30 and I finish at 3. The other kids' parents always pick them up on time and I'm always left sitting here.
My school is nice. The walls are colorful. The classrooms had pretty decorations on the walls. Everything was nice, especially the grass in the playground. Everything except my classmates.
The other kids tease me all the time. They always tell me I'm small and that I have no friends. It's true, I didn't have any friends. But just because everyone was so mean. I didn't know why they were mean. Maybe because of their daddies. Maybe their daddies hit them too, like my daddy does. I hate it when he hits me. But Jazzy, Bella, and Jakey always take care of me so it's okay. But sometimes, Daddy hurts Bella too. And she cries more than I do. But, I'm too small to take care of her. Jazzy always does it. But I don't like seeing Bellsie cry. Jazzy told me it hurts him too. Good thing Daddy doesn't hit Jazzy.
I was drawing a picture on the bench when someone hit me from behind. It stung. I had a booboo there.
"Hey," I said softly, looking back at the person who hit me. It was Rosie. She doesn't like me.
"How come you're still here?" Rosie asked me, crossing her arms across her chest. I was scared to answer her. "Jazzy forgot about you, didn't he?"
I wanted to answer no. Rosie laughed at me and gave high fives to her posse. I felt my eyes were getting wet. I wish Jazzy would come now.
"Itty-bitty Ellie the Duckie got forgotten by her family," Rosie said, and her posse started making crying noises. I felt tears coming down my face. A car honked and Rosie and her posse ran to get into it. It was a big car, way bigger than ours. Rosie was rich, and we weren't. She stuck her tongue out at me as the car went away. I was still crying, so I crumpled my drawing because I got it wet with my tears. I wish I had my lucky bracelet with me. My mommy left it for me before she went away. I can't remember my mommy and Jazzy wouldn't talk to me about her. I wanted to ask Bella but I was scared she'd get upset so I asked Jakey. He was the only one who answered me but he said he couldn't remember much.
Thinking about my bracelet made me cry again and I remember how Jake always teases me because I cry a lot. I don't mean to do that. I don't know why I cry easily. I cry when Daddy hits me, I cry when he says bad things to me, and I cry when I have nightmares. But Jazzy always tells me it's okay to cry, and something about bottles, and eating your insides that I forgot 'cause I didn't understand. Jakey only teases me 'cause he doesn't cry. Ever. Maybe he's jealous.
A car pulled over and Jazzy got out. I wiped my tears so that he wouldn't see. I could never tell my big brother about what happens to me in school. I don't want him to get mad 'cause he's scary when he gets mad. I haven't seen him angry yet because he usually just gives us the silent treatment. And he always tells us that it's Daddy's fault. He picks up my bag as I wipe my hands on my skirt.
"Hey, don't get your clothes dirty," Jazzy said, taking my hand. I didn't answer him 'cause I was scared he'd find out I'm crying.
He stops walking and crouches down so that he's as tall as me. "Are you okay?" he asked. He always asks that question when he picks me up, like he knows I'm not okay. Everyone makes fun of me. I don't want to go to school anymore. I wish I could tell him that. I just nod.
"Are you sure?"
I nod again, afraid that if I speak, I might tell him the truth. He doesn't look like he believes me and he walks towards the car again. I get in the back next to Jakey and he pats me on the head. I saw Jazzy and Bella look at each other in the front, like they're having a silent conversation. I know they're talking about me. I look away 'cause now I'm scared of going home. I'm scared of seeing Daddy.
~*~*~*~*~
Jasper Swan
I got back into the car and looked at Bella, knowing she saw the exchange outside again. From my peripheral vision, I could see Ellie looking at the two of us in the rearview mirror. I quickly looked away from Bella, remembering how Ellie was so perceptive. She jumped to conclusions easily and she probably thought I looked at Bella because of her. I glanced at the rearview mirror and Ellie was looking at her lap now. Her nose was red. She'd been crying.
"Ellie, honey, are you alright?" I asked her. She just nodded. I knew at once that she wasn't entirely truthful. I could see it in her face. And, she didn't usually answer without any words.
"Ellie, please tell me the truth," I said. I was worried. Ellie wasn't usually like this.
"Jazz..." Bella started, but then stopped. She just gave me a look that said, "Don't push her."
I turned my eyes to the road and as I asked, "Why are you crying, sweetie? I don't like it when you're hurting and you're not telling us."
"I'm not crying!" Ellie suddenly said, while tears flowed from her eyes. She started sobbing in the back and Bella told me to pull over. I pulled over at the side of the road, two blocks from our house, instantly feeling guilty. I faced the backseat. "Shhh, it's okay, Ellie. Are you sick?" I asked. She shook her head but she continued sobbing. Jacob gave her her hankie to blow her nose but she pushed his hand away. She was being stubborn. She wasn't usually like this unless she's sick or she was really bothered by something. I put my hand on her forehead. It wasn't even warm. I couldn't even bring myself to think that she was bothered by something and she wasn't telling us.
"What happened, honey?" Bella asked her. Again, Ellie shook her head. "Then what's wrong?" Ellie didn't answer for a few more seconds but she continued crying. She started coughing and Jacob rubbed her back soothingly. She finally said, "I'm scared of going home! I don't want to go home."
I took one of her hands and reassured her, "It's okay, Ellie. We stick together, right? The four of us, we're a team. Don't be scared, sweetie. It's going to be okay." Only the last part was a lie.
She finally nodded and I smoothed her hair back. Her tears hadn't stopped yet, but I knew it was over. She climbed onto Jacob's lap and buried her face in his chest. Bella and I looked back around and I got back onto the road. We got home and me and Bella immediately started preparing for dinner. Charlie would be home in a little while and we had to eat ahead of him. Jacob took Ellie upstairs so that they could start with homework.
"Do you think that was really the reason she was crying?" Bella asked me, as she set the table.
"I don't know. It wasn't her usual crying, but if she's not telling us, then maybe she just doesn't want us to know just yet," I answered, knowing that it was such a poor excuse. It was not that Ellie didn't want us to know. It was more of, I don't really want to know.
"I'm worried, Jasper. I mean, it's not unusual for her to cry, but... I don't know. I just feel like she's keeping something from us," Bella said.
"Well, if she was that upset about it, I don't think I'm ready to find out about the reason," I said. The truth was, I hated seeing my sister, or sisters for that matter, cry. I just downright hate it.
Bella didn't answer me and I knew she disagreed with what I said, but she wasn't going to push it. She went upstairs to call Jake and Ellie and I put salad on each of the plates. The four of us sat down in silence as we ate. Ellie was still sniffling. A few minutes later, we heard the police cruiser on the driveway. Crap.
Ellie started trembling and I pulled her chair closer to me. We could hear Charlie in the front room, putting his gear away. He padded into the kitchen, seeing us instantly.
"Oh look at you, eating food, as if you deserve it," he growled. I wanted to hit him right there. He suddenly walked towards us and pulled Ellie's hair back. She instantly started sobbing.
"Don't touch her," I said, instinctually. But I knew it would be for no good. I couldn't fight him back, he would just hurt her more. Bella, Jacob and I stood up from the table, Bella instantly clutching my arm.
"Especially you. You ungrateful little BITCH!" He slammed Ellie's head down onto her salad. Jake started forward but I kept him back. I had to fight with my hands, too. Bella was silently crying. Charlie pulled Ellie's hair back and her face was streaked with tears and she couldn't control her sobs. Charlie slapped her. "Stop crying!" Ellie cried more. The sound broke my heart.
Charlie faced us. "You teach this little slut some manners, will you! Teach her so that she wouldn't end up like your fucking mother!" He let go of Ellie's hair and she ran to me. I took her in my arms and she held onto me tightly. She continued to sob and buried her face in the crook of my neck. Charlie exited the kitchen, taking his prepared plate of food with him. I was still breathing heavily and the sound of Jacob kicking his chair made me look up.
"Shit!" Jacob yelled, and I was afraid Charlie would come back in. Thankfully, he didn't. I held Ellie with one arm and placed her on my hip. I faced Bella. "Bells, calm down. Keep Jake in control. I'll just go take Ellie upstairs." Bella nodded and moved forward to wrap her arms around me and Ellie. She was worried and scared, I could tell. But, she would never tell me out loud, especially since I needed to tend to Ellie. She let go of me and went to Jacob to calm him down. I got out of the kitchen, carefully staying as far away from Charlie in the living room as possible, and went up to our bedroom.
Inside, I tried to put Ellie down on the bed but she wouldn't let go of me. She was still crying and her grip on me was starting to get painful so I just held unto her. I got into the bathroom and grabbed the wet washcloth I always kept ready for circumstances like this. I sat back down on the bed, placing Ellie on my lap. I dabbed the washcloth on her face to clean it. A bruise was already forming from the slap Charlie gave her. God, I hate him.
Both of Ellie's hands were still gripping my shirt tightly and I couldn't move properly. "Ellie, it's all right now. I'm right here. You're safe. Calm down. It's okay." Tears still flowed down her cheeks but she didn't say a word to me. She never talked at times like this. It was like her sobs kept her from talking when she was upset. I tried wiping the tears away but others followed. I put the washcloth down and wrapped my arms around her. I rocked her back and forth until the heaves subsided and only tears were left. It hurt me to see her like this; I couldn't look at her face because it would remind me that I couldn't do anything to protect her. She's only eight for Christ's sake. She doesn't deserve any of this. What's more is that she was Charlie's own child. I stroked her long hair away from her face as I looked at her. I pressed a finger lightly on the slight bruise and she winced, pushing my hand away. "No, Jazzy. It hurts." I breathed a sigh of relief. She was talking again and it means the worst is over.
"I know, but we have to put ice on it," I told her as she finally loosened her grip on me. I placed her down on the bed so that I could get an ice pack from downstairs.
"Jazzy, don't leave me here," she said softly behind me. I turned around and she was sitting on the edge of the bed. "I'm scared."
I crouched down to her level. "It'll only be for a few minutes, okay? I'll be right back," I tried to reassure her, but she remained unconvinced. My guilt ate me again, so I gave in. "Okay, come on." I was debating whether or not to carry her. One part of me didn't want to do it because I didn't want to pamper her or baby her. Like a parent, I wanted her to learn to stand on her own feet. But, our situation never cooperated. All the time, I wanted to just hold her close, tell her it's okay. I wanted her to feel the love a parent should be giving to his child. I want her to feel the love that almost every child in the world receives. The kind of love she rarely experiences. She misses out on a lot of things kids her age do. Everything that has happened and is happening in our lives prevents her from having fun and experiencing a proper childhood. She's wise beyond her years but I know that's not enough. She needs to act like a child once in a while, too. While I ponder on all this, I realize that Ellie has stood up in front of me already. Even while standing up, she only barely reached my height.
"What's wrong?" she asked me. Again with her perceptions. She could see right through me. I couldn't keep it in.
"Look, Ellie. I know you understand what kind of situation we're in right now, right? And I know, it doesn't always make us happy. But you do know I'll do everything to make things better, right? Even if I know I fail sometimes, just remember that I love you, Bella, and Jake so much and nothing can ever change that," I explained, getting a few things off my chest.
"But what about Daddy?" Ellie asked, with frown on her face. Somehow, deep down inside her, I knew she wanted, no, needed her Daddy. But, that wasn't something she could get easily. I can't give it to her either. I'm not a proper father. I'm supposed to be only her brother.
"He doesn't love us, Ellie. I hope you understand that. He's not an evil person, but that doesn't mean he's good, either. He's just ... human. And sometimes, that gets in the way of things too much," I said, as I placed my hands on her shoulders. I hate making excuses for Charlie but I needed Ellie to understand. "Just promise me you'll always be good. No matter what."
"I promise," Ellie affirmed, leaning in for a hug.
"Now, let's go get that ice," I said, trying to encourage enthusiasm. She reached her arms up, asking me to carry her and I gave in. Right now, I didn't care if I spoiled her not. I didn't care about anything else as long as my siblings are safe. I didn't care if our father was just out there, ready to swing at us at any given opportunity. Quite frankly, I don't give a shit anymore.
AN: A feisty little pixie will be introduced next chapter. And for anyone who didn't understand their family background, please feel free to ask me. Thank you!
