Okay just to let everyone know this is supposed to be poorly written and stupid as fuck. I mean, a fanfiction about Kyle and a crab person's sexual relationship can't be serious.

Or can it?

Anyway. This idea was sorta given to me by Katz who doesn't have an account here but she's still awesome. Which explains the later relationship between Kenny and Katz/Me. Shut. Up. xD

Okay here goes.


It was a wonderful morning in South Park! The sun was really bright and the sky was blue and everyone was very happy, except for one little Jewish boy.

Kyle was sitting all alone in the middle of his driveway. His friends had all left on vacation for the summer except him. Stan was at Sea World chilling with Shamu while Cartman was in Africa for some reason and Kenny was in Wiscorida. What's Wiscorida? Well, it's what happened when Wisconsin and Florida suddenly got very attracted to one another, and decided to become one big state. Why is Kenny there? Because that's where Katz and Kayla lived. I won't elaborate.

Anyway, Kyle was all alone. What a sad Jew! So sad! SO SAD. His heart ached. A lot. For motherfucking serious.

Anywaytimestwo, he had to do something. And he did. He headed down to Chef's house, but before he even got there he spotted Chef. OR AT LEAST HE THOUGHT IT WAS CHEF OH MY GOD DID I JUST RUIN IT? (yes)

"CHEF. PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE HELP ME CHEF" he screamed, even though Chef was right there.

"Hello Children!"

"CHEF. OMG CHEF HELP PLZ. TIMES TWO CHEF PLZ!11" he just kept screaming.

"Uhh. What's the matter, children?" Chef asked while looking around suspiciously.

"Well I'm very lonely and… HEY WAIT. You aren't Chef! CHEF DIED." KYLE SCREAMED. He hadn't realized until now that this was NOT CHEF. Who could it be? (If you don't know, then you suck.)

Chef began to shake while his eyes rolled up into the top of his head. His gut burst open and a big, red, shelly (shut up, I don't know how else to describe it) CRAB PERSON popped out!

"YOU. YOU SUCK ASS!" Kyle screamed at the crab person, who broke into immediate sobs while holding his heart.

"Oh Kyle, I love you! I always have ever since I first saw you!" The crab sobbed. Kyle suddenly realized that he loved the crab!

"I love you too crab! Lets have sex!" Kyle said. The crab person stopped crying and they immediately had sex. But little did they know that something crazy was going to happen


Okay so that was the first chapter. I know, it's bad. I can write good if I want, but I'm not going to waste my time writing a decent story about Kyle and a crab guy fucking okay. So uh, yep.