Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Files or the main characters, blah blah blah, you know the rest. ;)
A/N: I'M BACK! I thought long and hard about actually writing this story. I know it's a very touchy and tragic subject, but my brain wouldn't let me not do it. So, viewer discretion is advised for some slightly graphic sexual content and violence. You have been warned, and flaming will be ignored, so don't even read it if rape fics aren't your thing. This story is about healing, and is not even half as graphic as some stories out there. It's probably not going to be super long, and one big chapter. What you see is completely finished. I don't want people to immediately judge and pass this story up just because of the slightly disturbing plot. It's a good read in my personal opinion, and I'm not the bragging/self-absorbed type. I try to remain humble but also confident. I really hope you all will like it as much as I liked writing it. It just makes me feel good to write.
P.S. I talked to a close friend that had a very tragic experience like this. So, I am eternally grateful for your helpful information dear, and for talking to me about it. You are so brave! I found that Gasoline by Halsey and Black Out Days by Phantogram on repeat made it easier. I didn't ever expect to see myself writing a dark fic before, but It was an interesting experience. Anyways, I'm done babbling nonsense. Enjoy! Xoxo
"Mulder, what you're suggesting is highly implausible and frankly, I don't like where this conversation is going." Scully smirked, walking towards her apartment door with keys in one hand and her cellphone pressed to her ear.
"Come on Scully, you can't possibly believe that zombies just roam the streets in search for a leaf salad, in a desperate attempt to maintain their figure, but accidently stumbling upon and settling for flesh, in order to curb their appetites." Mulder teased on the other end, almost a little too seriously.
"No, Mulder. What I do possibly believe is that Zombies don't exist." Scully sighed, slipping the key into the lock of her door.
"Well, aren't cannibal's zombies?" Mulder shifted his position on his couch, grinning through the phone.
"No. Cannibals may eat people, but they don't have rotting flesh or roam the streets looking for fresh meat." Scully swung open the door, instantly feeling a chill. "Oh." She shivered.
"What?" Mulder asked softly.
"My apartment is freezing. I could have sworn I turned the heat on earlier." Scully closed the door behind her and flipped on a light.
"If it's broken, I could come take a look— "
"No, no, Mulder. You are not coming over tonight." Scully checked the thermostat. "Huh. I guess I accidently turned off the thermostat this morning." She crinkled her forehead in confusion.
"Well, what did you do that for, Scully? It's like forty-seven degrees outside." Mulder teased.
"Oh please! You were rushing me this morning, remember? You called me every fifteen minutes until I got to work. It's your fault." Scully teased back.
"Uh huh. Excuses, excuses." Mulder replied flirtatiously.
That's what they did a lot of lately, flirt. Mulder could see it coming from a mile away. He and Scully were more touchy feely with each other in the past several months, and it was only a matter of time before he eventually got up the courage to ask her out on a date. The signs were there, and he knew that they both were on the same page. Scully was definitely tolerating Mulder's dry humor and sexual innuendos a lot better than she used to.
"Scully?" Mulder's voice was low and sultry.
"Yes, Mulder?" Scully imitated his tone.
"What are you doing this weekend?" *Aaaand that time was now, apparently*
"Most certainly not watching Night of the Living Dead with you, Mulder."
Mulder chuckled softly, as his eyes sparkled. "How about you, me, dinner, tomorrow, seven-thirtyish?" He talked fast, knowing that if he took a breath, he would lose all of the courage he had just mustered up to ask.
Scully lifted an eyebrow as a huge smile spread across her face, but she wouldn't dare let Mulder know. Clearing her throat, she stood there for a moment, pondering her words.
"Scully? Did you run away? I mean, I didn't hear any screaming, so I take it you aren't completely horrified with me." Mulder teased, now pacing his living room.
Scully chucked softly, as she paced her living room also. "Mulder, are you asking me out on a date?" Her voice was soft, yet seductive.
Mulder shifted on the couch nervously, his voice suddenly squeaking. "Of course not, just a friendly-"
"Pick me up at seven-thirty." Scully let the words spill out without even second guessing them.
Mulder's eyes lit up as he straightened up his posture, his mouth wide open, but unable to speak.
Scully could just see Mulder's face now. He was so adorable, and it was rare that she left him speechless.
"Goodnight, Mulder." She replied softly.
Mulder ran a hand through his hair. "Goodnight, Scully." He inwardly high fived himself.
XxXxXx
Seven-thirty came quicker than Scully had wanted it to, and although she would never admit it, she was nervous. Mulder was her partner and best friend, but she was secretly in love with him. And she was extremely giddy on the inside, knowing that Mulder felt the same way. Their relationship had remained platonic for far too many years, and she secretly hoped Mulder would eventually take the next step. Hell, if he didn't, then she would.
Scully quickly touched up her hair as she heard a knock at the door. "Coming!" She shouted, shutting off the bathroom light and shuffling towards the door.
Scully swung open the door, and Mulder's breath caught in his throat at the sight of Scully. It wasn't often that he saw her all dolled up and giddy.
"Wow." He eyed her up and down, his eyes twinkling.
Scully nervously reached up and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "What?" She asked, suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious.
Mulder leaned up against the door frame, smirking. "God, Scully. You clean up well."
Scully could feel her heart twitching. "Oh, thank you. You're not so hard on the eyes yourself." She eyed him intensely.
Mulder eventually broke the gaze, running a hand through his hair. "Soo, I was going to get you flowers, but I had a better idea." He smiled, pulling a slender black velvet box out of his jacket. "I figured it would match that necklace you always wear." Mulder shyly handed Scully the box.
Scully gasped as she opened the box, revealing a little gold bracelet with a cross dangling from it. "Oh Mulder…It's beautiful."
"Here, let me help you put it on." Mulder reached over and pulled the bracelet out of the box, ever so gently clasping it on Scully's wrist, as she eyed him the whole time.
"Mulder…thank you." Scully flashed Mulder a genuine smile.
Their eyes met and locked into place for a long moment, as Scully suddenly felt her face getting hot and red. It was rare that she had that reaction, and she couldn't believe that Mulder was the cause. Her partner. The man that always got her into crazy situations. She just couldn't help but giggle at the very thought of it all.
"What's so funny?" Mulder was intrigued by Scully's sudden giggle fit. She didn't giggle very often, that was for sure.
Scully quickly sobered, walking into the hallway and shutting the door behind her. "Nothing. It's nothing. Let's go." She smirked, as Mulder followed closely behind her, stopping for a moment to check out her backside.
Scully grinned, as she walked into the elevator, knowing full well what Mulder was doing.
XxXxX
Two hours passed quickly, and Mulder was secretly trying to make the time pass as slowly as possible. He was very surprised and relieved to find that his "unordinary" date was very much appreciated by the lovely Dana Katherine Scully.
"Mulder, I still can't believe I didn't know about this place. How the hell did you find it? And where are all the people?" Scully's crystal blue eyes surveyed the room.
Mulder had taken Scully to a little outdoor family owned restaurant just outside of town, which sat on a hill, overlooking the city. He had a buddy at work that owed him, and it just so happened that the guy's family owned the restaurant. But he wasn't going to tell Scully that, of course, that he had to practically beg Joe to set it all up for him. And that he promised to give him his collection of "the tapes that weren't his". Besides, he had what he really wanted now.
"Gee, I haven't the faintest idea. Maybe they were abducted by aliens?" Mulder's voice was thick with sarcasm.
Scully giggled, slapping Mulder on the arm playfully. "Mulder, come on. I'm serious. How did you set all of this up? We are the only ones here." Scully titled her head to the side, keenly observing Mulder.
"Not telling. Because you see, if I did, then I would have to kill you. And I think I'd like to keep you around, Scully." Mulder eyed Scully with such intensity, she was sure that she would have to kill him herself if he didn't kiss her soon.
"God dammit, Mulder. Don't look at me like that*
Scully stared at Mulder through hooded eyes for a moment, and then leaned forward, her red curls falling into her face. "Alright then. It was lovely, anyways. Very…romantic. I didn't know you had it in you, Mulder." Her voice was low and sexy.
Mulder bit his lip, as he reached up and pushed Scully's hair out of her face. "You're welcome."
Scully grabbed Mulder's hand just as he began to pull it away from her face. "I have a confession." Scully looked down at her empty plate.
"Confession? Good, or bad?" Mulder was intrigued.
Scully closed her eyes for a moment, a smile forming on her ruby red lips. "Remember that date I had with that guy when you and I first met?"
Mulder nodded. That was like five or six years ago. And he remembered being slightly irritated about it.
"I thought about you the whole time." Scully confessed sheepishly.
Mulder chuckled. "You felt this way, even back then?" He was surprised, and ecstatic.
Scully nodded, lifting a hand up to one of her pink cheeks. "I just didn't know it at the time."
Mulder traced circles in the palm of Scully's hands with his thumb. "I have a confession as well."
Scully perked up. "Oh?"
"Yeah, well-I kind of did a background check on the guy that night." Mulder was slightly ashamed, but felt relieved when Scully began to giggle.
*Oh that giggle*
"Seriously?" Scully covered her mouth, trying to suppress the giggles as they kept coming.
Mulder ran a hand through his hair. "I didn't want you to get hurt." Which was only partly true.
Scully eyed Mulder, smirking. "Is that the only reason?"
Mulder slowly shook his head. "You know it isn't."
Scully sobered, clearing her throat nervously. "If only we'd both known back then, huh?"
"I think it all played out perfectly, Scully."
XxXxX
Mulder took his time taking Scully back home, as they constantly eyed each other the whole way. And once they slowly reached Scully's door, they were both suddenly extremely nervous. They had been partners for six years, and now they were acting like sixteen year olds on prom night. Jesus Christ.
Should I kiss her?
Should I kiss him?
A good thirty seconds passed in silence, as Scully got out her key and opened the door slowly. Mulder watched her, inwardly kicking himself. He wanted to kiss her, so bad. God, what was he waiting for?
*Kiss him, Scully. Just do it* Scully thought to herself, as she struggled to turn back around.
Scully swallowed hard and turned around, just as Mulder's hands were grabbing her by the waist.
"Oh." Was all she got out, as Mulder pressed his lips gently against hers. It was soft, but seductive at the same time.
Scully tried to catch her breath as Mulder eventually pulled away, his hands still on her waist.
"I'm sorry, I just couldn't stand it." Mulder whispered in Scully's ear, closing his eyes.
Scully dropped her keys and grabbed Mulder's face, pulling him into another kiss, much deeper and intimate this time around.
Mulder quickly reacted, groaning, as he feverishly pushed Scully up against the door frame. They both couldn't stop, as Scully ran her hands through Mulder's hair. But eventually, they had to come up for air, which happened at about the same exact time.
Mulder let go of Scully's waist, his body still pressed up against hers. "Goodnight, Scully." He whispered in Scully's ear, sending shivers down her spine.
And with that, Mulder was walking down the hall smiling, leaving Scully completely breathless and dazed.
Scully picked up her keys off the ground, smiling as well. She was not going to be able to sleep tonight. They both weren't. That was for sure.
XxXxX
Hours passed, and Scully was still daydreaming about her date with Mulder. He had kissed her once before on New Year's, but not like that. She was positive that she had never had a reaction to a kiss like that before, in her whole life. *Damn, Fox Mulder* There was no way she would be sleeping tonight.
Scully sat there on the couch, with a book in her hand, sitting under a dimly lit lamp. Hearing a noise coming from her bedroom, she slowly took her reading glasses off and set them down on the couch along with her book.
"That damn cat." Scully mumbled to herself, standing up to investigate.
Scully had recently taken in a stray cat that kept showing up outside of her car every morning. She had tried to give it away to her neighbors, but no one wanted it. Scully wasn't really a cat person, and had planned on trying to give the cat to her mother next week.
Walking towards the dark bedroom, Scully peeked her head into the pitch black room for a second. "Buttons? Come here kitty kitty."
She had called the calico cat 'Buttons' because of the fact that the damn cat liked to rip buttons off of her clothes.
"Buttons? Where are you, you little trouble maker?" Scully sighed, as she began to slowly close her bedroom door.
Just then, Buttons frolicked out of the kitchen, rubbing himself up against Scully's leg. "How did you get out of the bedroom without me noticing?" Scully looked down at the cat, bewildered.
And then it dawned on her, as she felt breathing on the back of her neck. Quickly turning around, a tall dark figure hovered behind her. Gasping, she turned on her heel, trying to head for the exit. But the intruder was quicker, as she felt a sharp pain in the back of her head.
Scully fell to the floor, desperately trying to focus, as everything went black.
XxXxX
Scully's eyes fluttered open, as she tried to piece together what had happened. *Oh my god* She thought to herself, as she felt the restraints on her hands and feet.
Scully was laying on her bed, completely naked, with the silhouette of a man standing over her in the dark. She could barely make out his features, as she struggled to focus. He was tall, slender…dark hair…dark eyes, maybe. Even dark clothes. And he reeked of chewing tobacco and cheap liquor. She knew she needed to pay attention to details, and remember these things, so this freak wouldn't get away with this…if she even lived through it.
Scully tried to remain calm, as the FBI agent in her emerged. *Okay, Scully. If you struggle, he might kill you* But he might try to kill her either way, and she was feeling completely helpless with her hands and feet tied up. Half of the apartment building was being remodeled, so even if she tried to make noise, not many people would hear her. And it didn't help that there was a piece of cloth in her mouth.
Scully winced at the pain, as she tried to slip her wrists out of the restraints.
The man let out a deep throaty groan, as he hovered over Scully. "Well, well. What a pretty little thing, aren't ya?" The man spoke up. "And I see you are a natural redhead. I've always liked redheads." The man growled, running his tongue along his top front teeth.
Scully felt her breath catch in her throat and her stomach tighten, as the man ran the cold blade of a knife across her bare stomach.
"You look like a smart woman, so I don't think that you will make any noise, will ya?" The man hissed, as he leaned in closer to Scully's face. His breath was sour and hot on her face.
Scully pulled her face away, as she continued to try and squirm out of the restraints. She was trying to keep the panic at bay, but she was scared. She knew what was going to happen. Why hadn't she invited Mulder in earlier? She hoped Mulder would just magically burst through that bedroom door at any moment.
The man eyed Scully up and down. "You see, I was originally just going to rob you a few days ago. But when I caught sight of you, I just couldn't resist myself. I've been watching you for a while now, red. You really are a rare gem. Ruby, that's it! I'll call you Ruby. Well, Ruby…I think it's time I stop wasting my precious time talking. Don't cha think?" The man cackled, as he began to pull at his zipper. And that sound was enough to make her blood run cold.
Scully's eyes filled with tears, as she struggled to nonchalantly loosen her restraints. She looked out of the corner of her eye at her night stand. Her gun was in the nightstand. Or at least she hoped it was still there. She had to get to it, somehow.
The man forcefully gnawed at Scully's throat, as he straddled her, running his dirty hands up and down her body. She could feel the bile rising in her throat, as the man ran his tongue across her face, with one hand on her breast, and the other sliding down in between her legs.
She felt like vomiting, as the man placed the cold knife up against her throat.
*NO NO NO NO NO. GOD NO*
"You move, and I will kill you." The man hissed, looking down at Scully. "You're not wet, that's a shame, Ruby. I guess you won't enjoy this as much as I will."
The tears began to flow, as Scully felt a sharp forceful pain in between her legs, as the man entered her abruptly. *This is not happening* She whimpered, as the man grunted, speeding up the pace. It hurt…a lot. And she was very thankful that her body was not betraying her, which was not uncommon with rape, and would have added another humiliating experience to her current list. All she could think about was Mulder. *Yes, pretend it is Mulder…wait, don't do that, because then your body WILL betray you*
Scully closed her eyes, desperately trying to imagine a good moment in her life. *Her date with Mulder* It was perfect. *Mulder and her playing baseball* Yeah, that was fun. The image of Mulder's face was comforting for a moment, but she was pulled back into reality as she heard the sounds of the man's stomach slapping against hers. It was disgusting, and vile, and she just wanted to die in that very moment. If she survived this, Mulder would never want to touch her, ever again. And she wasn't sure she could let him.
*Oh God…please…please stop*
Scully's heart raced and she was overcome with a glimmer of hope, as she felt her left hand break free from one of the restraints. It all happened so fast, but it also felt like time was passing in slow motion.
Scully ripped the sock out of her mouth and shoved the man off of her, as she quickly reached for her bedside table.
"You bitch!" The man hissed, jabbing the knife at Scully, as it barely sliced through the skin on her cheek, but enough to draw blood and leave a permanent scar.
Scully dug her nails into the man's face, as she desperately tried to reach the top drawer.
The man howled, as he lunged forward with the knife, but was suddenly surprised by a gun in his face.
Scully struggled to catch her breath, as she pulled the trigger. One, two, three shots were fired in the man's chest and head, as blood splattered all over Scully's comforter.
The man slumped over, as Scully began to scream and sob uncontrollably, weakly trying to undo her other hand and feet. She wasn't a very emotional person, but she couldn't stop the trembling and the tears from flowing. *Pull yourself together, Dana* It was over. She was alive…wasn't she?
After a long moment, Scully's sobs subsided, as she pulled herself off the bed and grabbed her phone. She didn't want to tell Mulder what happened, but she had to. *Oh god*
Scully dialed Mulder's number, wincing at the pain she was feeling everywhere.
"Mulder." Came Mulder's voice from the other end. He didn't sound like he had been sleeping either.
"Mulder-"Scully replied weakly.
"Scully? You okay?" Mulder asked softly. *Something was wrong…he could hear it in her voice*
Scully couldn't answer him. She wasn't okay. But she would be.
Mulder could hear Scully's heavy breathing on the other end of the phone, and his heart sank. "Scully, what's wrong?"
Scully stood there in silence for a moment, desperately trying to pull herself together. "Something's happened." Her lip quivered, as she pressed the palm of her hand against her forehead.
"Scully, you're scaring me."
"I need you to come here, now." Scully's voice cracked.
"Okay, I'll be right there." Mulder hung up the phone, searching for his car keys.
XxXxX
Scully turned on every light in the apartment, as she slowly walked into the bathroom trembling. She grimaced at herself in the mirror. There was a deep gash on her face and several little bruises were beginning to form all over her body. But what affected her the most was the trail of sticky blood trickling down her inner thigh. She had to get that freaks filth off her. She knew she shouldn't wash herself until she was examined and tested, but she just couldn't stand it. The sick motherf*ckers scent was all over her.
Scully grabbed a few cotton swabs and took a few samples off of her body, placing them in a little baggie. After all, she was a doctor. She didn't care that she wasn't supposed to do it herself, and that it would probably be useless. She was just glad she was still alive and that the intruder was dead. She couldn't think straight, and knew her thinking was impaired right now, and that she was being illogical. And as the corners of her vision became fuzzy, she knew she was slipping into shock.
Turning on the water as hot as she could stand it, Scully stepped into the shower. She couldn't think. She just had this overwhelming urge to scrub clean every surface of her body. She couldn't stand it. He was all over her. She felt disgusting, and tainted, like she had a terminal disease. What if he got her pregnant? What if he gave her AIDS? *Oh my god*
Scully picked up her shower sponge and body wash, squeezing a huge blob of soap onto the sponge. She roughly scrubbed her skin until it began to turn red. *You sick bastard* She thought to herself, as she vigorously made her way down her body.
Tears mixed in with the water, as Scully slid down the shower wall, sobbing.
XxXxX
Mulder quickly rushed over to Scully's apartment, nearly crashing into another car as he swerved in and out of both lanes. "Dammit! Move!" He slammed on his horn furiously, his heart racing, as he pulled into Scully's apartment complex. He skipped two or three stairs at a time as he made his way into the building, running towards Scully's door.
"Scully!" Mulder pounded on the door, but there was no answer.
Pulling out the key Scully gave him for emergencies, he unlocked and swung open the door, looking around. Every single light was on in the apartment, and he could hear the sound of running water coming from the bathroom, as Buttons the cat hissed and ran out the door into the hallway.
Mulder ran to the bathroom door, jiggling the handle, which was unlocked. "Scully? It's Mulder. Can I come in?" Silence.
Mulder slowly opened the door, peeking in. There was steam coming from behind the closed shower curtain, as he inched his way closer. Pulling back the curtain, his eyes took in the horrifying sight before him. Scully was sitting naked on the bathtub floor, trembling, with a gun in her hand.
"Jesus, Scully. What happened?" Mulder knelt down to Scully's level.
Scully shook uncontrollably as she looked straight ahead, completely ignoring Mulder, as water streamed down her face.
"Scully-"Mulder reached out to touch Scully's face, completely oblivious to her lack of clothes.
Scully suddenly flinched at Mulder's touch, pointing her gun at him. "Don't touch me! Don't-touch me." She screamed in horror.
Mulder had never seen Scully like this before. "Hey, hey, it's me, Mulder. Scully, I think you're in shock. Tell me what happened." He pleaded, turning off the water and wrapping a towel around her.
Scully's teeth chattered, as she briefly turned to face him. "I couldn't stop him." Her voice cracked, as she shook her head.
"Who?" Mulder eyed Scully, dreading her next words.
"He's in the bedroom. He-He's dead." Scully replied, just above a whisper.
Mulder swallowed hard, as he stood up. "I'll be right back." He quickly headed towards Scully's bedroom.
Mulder stopped in the doorway, suddenly feeling extremely sick to his stomach, as he began to piece things together. A man was laying at the end of the bed, with half of his head blown off, and blood splattered across the comforter. Scully's clothes were laying on the floor, and the bedroom window was open, letting in the cold breeze.
"Oh my god. Oh Scully." Mulder ran a shaky hand through his hair.
Mulder bent over, as the room began to spin. The man was dead alright…but Scully had been raped. His Scully. And he hadn't been there to protect her.
Mulder desperately tried to pull himself together, as he rushed back into the bathroom. Scully was still in the same position, in a daze.
"Scully, I need to call an ambulance, okay?" Mulder knelt back down to observe the cut on Scully's face.
"No." She replied firmly.
"Yes, Scully. You need help. And there's a dead man in your bedroom." Mulder spoke softly, as his eyes filled with tears. "You're gonna be okay, I promise. But you shouldn't have washed yourself."
Mulder's words sounded pathetic to his own ears. Scully had just been viscously attacked in her own bedroom. She was not okay. And he was suddenly feeling extremely angry at the sick son of a bitch that did this to her. He wished he would have been the one to kill him. No, he wished he would have been there to prevent it from ever happening in the first place.
XxXxX
Once the ambulance came, everything around Scully was almost nonexistent. She stood there in a daze as Mulder talked to the police. She watched as the man's body was placed in a body bag. And she watched as people came in and out of the room, giving her sympathetic looks as they passed her. She couldn't take it. It was just too much. She didn't want to be the victim.
Mulder intercepted just in time as a police officer walked over to Scully for some questions. "Not right now." Mulder glared at the man.
The man nodded and handed Mulder a card with his name and number on it. "Call me tomorrow, and we will set up an appointment. We need to do some digging, and find out who this creep was. I'm so sorry, ma'am." The grey haired man eyed Scully sympathetically and walked away.
Mulder sighed and reached up to touch Scully's shoulder, but she pulled away. "Sorry, I'm sorry." Mulder's heart hurt for her. Poor Scully.
Scully swallowed, staring at an imaginary spot on the wall next to her. "I'm fine."
Mulder rubbed his eyes, sighing. "Scully, you need to see a doctor. You need a rape examination-"
"No." Scully shook her head, as her eyes glazed over.
"Scully, they can still get samples from you, even though you washed yourself. I will come with you. Or I can call your mother-"
"God dammit Mulder, NO!" Scully snapped, instantly regretting her little outburst.
Mulder clenched his jaw as he lowered his head.
"I'm sorry, Mulder. But I can't tell my mom yet. I just can't." Scully ran a finger across the cut on her cheek, wincing.
"Scully, you need to do what's best for you. Please. I will do whatever you ask me to do after that. At least let them do it here. We know people that could-"
"God Mulder. You don't get it, do you? I was RAPED! Do you really think I want someone I work with examining me?" Scully's second outburst got the intention of the people in her apartment.
Mulder sighed heavily, placing his hands on his hips. "What do you want to do then?"
Scully stood there for a long moment in silence before speaking up. "Fine. Okay. I'll have them check me out at the hospital. But I can't stay here tonight."
Mulder nodded silently.
XxXxX
The moment Scully and Mulder walked into the hospital, Scully could feel everyone's eyes on her. It was almost unbearable.
*Stop looking at me*
It didn't take long for Mulder to sign her in and explain to the nurse what had happened to Scully. She was treated delicately by the nurse, as she headed towards her own private room. She didn't want people to treat her like expensive China. She didn't want the sympathy, because it reminded her of how helpless she had been when that man attacked her.
"Ruby, that's it! I'll call you Ruby. Well, Ruby…I think it's time I stop wasting my precious time talking. Don't cha think?"
That bone chilling voice kept echoing in her head, over and over again, every time she had a moment to think about it. She could still smell him on her skin. She could still see his face hovering over hers. She could still feel the burn in between her legs. She wasn't even sure if he had finished, but she hoped to God that the bastard hadn't.
The nurse eyed Mulder as he followed her and Scully to the room.
Scully noticed the quizzical look on the brunettes face. "I want him with me." She explained softly.
"Scully, are you sure? I can wait out in the waiting room." Mulder spoke up cautiously.
Scully nodded, crossing her arms. "Yes…I don't want to be alone." She explained, nervously shifting her weight.
The woman in scrubs nodded and placed a clipboard on the door. "The doctor will be in shortly. If you could, take off everything and put on this." The woman handed Scully one of those cloth gowns that tied in the back.
The last thing Scully wanted to do was put one of those things on and have someone touch her, but she knew she had to. And she was just thankful it wasn't one of those itchy paper gowns.
Mulder cleared his throat awkwardly, as the nurse shut the door to give them some privacy. "I'll just pull this around." Mulder offered softly, pulling the curtain that hung from the ceiling around the bed and turning away.
Scully carefully slipped off her clothes and put the gown on. She wished it didn't have to be like this, Mulder treating her awkwardly. Just last night they had taken the next step in their relationship, and she had almost invited him in. Why hadn't she stopped him when he walked away after that kiss?
"I'm done. Can you tie this up for me?" Scully pulled the curtain back, avoiding eye contact with Mulder.
Mulder hesitated for a moment, and then nodded, looking away as he tied up the gown. He tried very hard to not touch Scully's bare skin in the process, which Scully was very grateful for in that moment.
Scully sat on the bed and covered her legs with one of the thin blue blankets on the bed, and Mulder pulled up a chair next to her. They sat there in silence for a moment, but it wasn't as uncomfortable as it could have been.
It didn't take long for the middle aged female doctor to knock on the door and introduce herself.
"Dana Scully? I'm Doctor Linda Watson." The gentle spoken woman shut the door behind her and looked down at the clipboard.
The blonde doctor skimmed the chart for a moment, sighing, and then diverted her attention to Mulder. "Are you her husband? Boyfriend?" She asked softly.
Mulder straightened his posture and ran a hand through his hair. "No-"
"He's my partner…FBI." Scully spoke for him, as she shifted on the bed.
The woman nodded and diverted her attention to Scully. "Ms. Scully, is it okay if I begin with a physical examination and get some samples from you?" The woman looked sympathetic, but oddly it didn't bother Scully. She seemed really sincere and had a soothing voice.
Scully nodded, rubbing her arms nervously.
The doctor started off examining Scully from head to toe, stopping at her face for a moment. "You won't need stiches." The woman was only confirming what Scully already knew as a doctor.
As the woman made her way down, observing the bruises and carefully stopping at Scully's waist, she attempted to make small talk to make Scully feel more comfortable.
"I saw you are a doctor?" The woman eyed Scully for a moment.
Scully nodded, feeling panic rise in her as the woman gently made her way down.
"Alright, I'm going to need you to spread your legs Dana, so I can check things out and get samples. I will make it as quick as I can. Are you going to be okay?" The woman eyed Scully and then Mulder.
Scully nodded, as she felt Mulder's nervous gaze on her. She knew he was worried because he was really quiet. And a part of her felt bad for him, seeing her have to go through this. She knew it couldn't be easy for him either, and he was desperately trying to be there for her, but was also trying to keep his distance at the same time.
Mulder looked away as the woman snapped on rubber gloves and rummaged through a bunch of medical tools on the metal table next to her. He wasn't even sure he should be here for this, but Scully had asked him to stay. And he felt a little relieved when he felt Scully's small hand gently reach for his.
The woman asked Scully a few more questions about her work, trying to make things easier for her. And Scully knew that she couldn't possibly get through any of this without Mulder. She eyed him a few times, noticing he kept his eyes in the other direction out of respect. He was such a good man. He was the only man she would let experience this with her. He was the only man she could trust.
Scully winced and grabbed Mulder's hand tighter as the woman poked and prodded her. She could feel the tears coming, but managed to keep them at bay, as the woman did her job.
After the woman left the room shortly and came back to take blood and urine samples and finish up the rest of the examination, Scully felt a little better knowing that the worst part of the examination was over. Time had passed so slowly in her mind, and she could tell that Mulder felt the same way. He still hadn't said anything, and kept nervously shifting in his seat.
Once the doctor left the room again, Scully spoke up. "Mulder. What's wrong?" Scully asked quietly, knowing Mulder was not going to make eye contact with her.
Mulder shook his head silently.
Scully sat up in the bed. "Mulder, I'm okay. Really." She put on a brave face, but was she really okay?
Mulder eventually made eye contact, his eyes full of sorrow and regret. "You shouldn't even be asking me if I'm okay, Scully. I should be asking you. But I don't want to hurt you." His voice was shaky.
"Oh Mulder…you're not going to hurt me. The worst part is over. Look at me…Mulder, look at me."
Mulder eyed Scully sadly. "I'm so…so sorry that this happened to you Scully. Words can't even begin to describe-words are useless. I know that nothing I say can help."
Scully's lip quivered, as she eyed Mulder. She realized that she hadn't even hugged him yet. She was too shaken up earlier, but she knew that Mulder would usually take her in his arms gently and whisper soothing words to her. She wanted that so bad, but she knew that she was still feeling violated and cringed at every little touch from anyone. And she knew that Mulder was just trying to respect her and give her distance.
As hard as it was for Mulder, he wished that Scully could tell him what happened. He knew that she couldn't heal until she said the words. He knew he had been quiet, but that was only because he felt that it wasn't his place to ask anything. He just needed to be there for her, and let her make all of the decisions. But god, he just wanted to hold her, and tell her that he would never let anyone hurt her ever again.
XxXxX
After a few agonizing hours in the hospital, Scully was finally discharged, after making it very clear that she didn't want to stay any longer than she had to. A nurse explained to her that they would call her about her test results in the morning. Mulder stepped aside to let Scully talk to Doctor Watson for a few minutes, as he watched the woman hand Scully a card. Scully must have finally opened up about her attack to Doctor Watson, since five minutes had passed, and he was still watching them from a distance.
"Here's a number to call. You can trust her. She was my therapist years ago, and still is to this day. You know, Dana, you are not alone. I went through a very similar experience myself three years ago." Doctor Watson confided in Scully.
Scully eyed Doctor Watson sympathetically, shocked at how well she was doing now from that incident. Scully didn't know how long it would take for her to get to that place.
"Thank you, Doctor Watson. I will definitely call her." Scully answered softly.
"No problem, Dana. You have a very good man there." Watson eyed Mulder out of the corner of her eye.
Scully nodded, smiling thinly.
Mulder stood up straight as he watched Scully slowly walk over to him. "Ready to go?"
Scully nodded, as they walked out of the hospital and to Mulder's car.
"Umm, Scully?" Mulder spoke up as they got into the car.
"Hmm?" Scully was starting to feel exhausted.
"I can take you back to my place tonight, if that's okay. You…you can sleep in my bed. I can sleep on the couch." Mulder offered gently.
Scully nodded, too tired to argue about it.
XxXxX
The rest of the night, Scully had begged Mulder to keep on some lights in the apartment, and to leave the bedroom door open. But neither of them did much sleeping, as Mulder laid there on the couch listening to Scully's soft sobs. He knew she was trying to muffle the sounds, but he could still hear it. And he struggled with the urge to go in and comfort her.
After a good hour of Mulder laying there in agony, he got up and slowly tiptoed over to the bedroom. He peeked inside the room, noticing Scully's back was turned away, but the way she was breathing told him that she wasn't asleep yet.
Mulder slowly walked into the room with his computer chair, no words exchanged between them, as he placed the chair beside the bed and sat in it. He didn't care if that's how he had to sleep that night. He wanted Scully to feel safe and protected.
Scully sighed, knowing exactly what Mulder was doing. But she was too exhausted to argue. And after a while, sleep overcame them both.
XxXxX
Scully groggily opened her swollen eyes to a sunlit room, and the sound of Mulder softly snoring behind her. She shifted in the bed, and couldn't help but smile at the sight of Mulder slumped over in his computer chair. *God that must have been uncomfortable* She loved this man. She really did.
"Mulder." Scully softly called out for him.
Mulder jolted awake, instantly at Scully's side, still half asleep. "What? You okay?" Mulder asked concerned, rubbing his eyes.
Scully sat up in the bed and nodded. "I'm fine, Mulder. Did you sleep like that all night?"
Mulder nodded sheepishly, letting out an impressive yawn.
"Mulder, you didn't have to do that." Scully eyed him lovingly.
"I wanted to." Mulder's answer was sincere.
Scully looked down at her hands for a moment, as that brief wave of contentment was suddenly washed away with the horrible memories of last night.
Mulder saw the painful look on Scully's face, as she desperately tried to hide it. "Scully, do you need anything? Breakfast?"
Scully shook her head. "No, I'm not hungry. But thank you."
Mulder nodded, sighing heavily. "Well, I was going to go pick up your prescriptions for you, if you wanna come?"
Scully sighed, looking around the room. "I think I'll be okay here. I was just going to look over your expense reports." She smirked.
Scully always worked when she was upset. That was her thing. It helped her cope.
"Scully, that can wait. Skinner gave you two weeks' personal leave, so you don't have to work."
Scully's face lightened two shades in two seconds. "Skinner knows?" *Oh God*
Mulder nodded. "I had to tell him, Scully. You know that."
Scully suddenly felt very sick to her stomach. How could she face Skinner? How could she face anyone? She hadn't even told her mother yet.
A good thirty seconds passed in tense silence, as Mulder stood up and surveyed the room. "Umm, do you want me to pick up some of your things while I'm out? Or anything you need at the store?"
"Yeah, a new bed." Scully replied bitterly.
Mulder looked away at Scully's remark. She had been raped in her bed, of course she wanted to discard of it. It took him a while to respond, as he stood there in silence.
"Scully-"
"I'm fine, Mulder. Just go. Get whatever you think I'll need. I just can't think about it right now." Scully got up off the bed and headed towards the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.
Mulder was left standing there in defeat. *Oh Scully*
XxXxX
Mulder walked out of the pharmacy with Scully's prescriptions and threw them into the passenger's seat of his car, next to some of the things that he had picked up from Scully's apartment. There had still been yellow tape near Scully's door, along with a huge blood stain in Scully's room. He had searched Scully's things in a good 90 seconds, desperately trying to avoid her room. He just didn't even know how she would even be able to go back there. He knew he couldn't. He would just have to fumigate that room later and buy Scully a new bed. Maybe even had some extra locks to the windows and doors. She'd be mad at him over it, but he'd do anything to help her forget.
Mulder had found Scully's stray cat in the hallway, and decided to bring that damn cat along with him. Maybe that would cheer Scully up? Buttons howled in the back seat, as Mulder pulled out of the parking lot, reaching for his phone as it began to ring.
"Mulder."
"Mulder-"
*Oh no*
"Scully? Everything okay?"
Mulder could hear the sound of Scully's soft sobs on the other end of the phone. "I need you. Please hurry back."
"I'm on my way."
XxXxX
Mulder flung his apartment door open, tossing everything including the cat on the floor. Buttons meowed loudly as he ran off towards the bedroom.
"Scully?" Mulder walked over to the bathroom door, knocking on it softly. "Scully, I'm coming in."
Mulder slowly opened the bathroom door to see Scully sitting on the floor with her gun next to her. "What's wrong, Scully?"
Scully sat with her knees held up to her chest, rocking back and forth. "I heard a noise."
"Oh Scully." Mulder sat down on the cold floor next to Scully. "You're okay, he's dead. And I'm here now. And…I brought Buttons with me." Mulder softly replied.
Scully sniffled, eyeing Mulder. "Thank you, Mulder." Her lip quivered, as she fought back the tears. "Thank you for everything."
Without thinking, Mulder pulled Scully into a hug, and thankfully, she let him.
Scully realized that Mulder's touch was the only touch that didn't frighten her, and she was very grateful for that. She trusted him and she loved him. And a hug from Mulder was exactly what she needed.
"Mulder, the doctor called." Scully gently pulled away from Mulder's embrace.
"Oh? What did they say?" Mulder was scared for her, and it showed on his face.
"Well, they said I seem to be okay for the most part. Just slight tearing and a few cuts and bruises. *Not to mention the emotional trauma* I was on birth control, which I am thankful for, and they gave me the morning after pill last night, along with an antibiotic. No signs of STD's or anything like that. But I am still waiting for a call about the identity of the man, and what happens next." Scully's face showed disgust and then sadness.
Mulder nodded silently. "I'm here with you…every step of the way."
XxXxX
One Week Later
Robert Fuller. That was the creeps name. He was a 43-year-old ex-convict whom had been accused of raping three other red headed women in the past 10 years. Robert Fuller. That name would forever haunt her. But he was dead now. He was in hell, where he belonged.
Scully sat in Mulder's kitchen, sipping on coffee, as Mulder washed up some dishes. That was the first time Scully had ever seen Mulder clean. In fact, ever since Scully started staying at Mulder's apartment, his apartment had remained spotless. Interesting.
"Scully, I have to tell you something." Mulder suddenly spoke up, drying his hands on a towel.
"What is it, Mulder?" Scully eyed Mulder as he sat down next to her.
"I wanted you to see for yourself, but I know you're not ready."
"What, Mulder?" Scully was suddenly very suspicious.
"I got you a new bed, and had your apartment thoroughly cleaned by some professionals. And had a security system installed, with your landlord's permission of course." Mulder sheepishly looked at Scully.
"Oh."
*Oh? That's it? * Mulder had expected Scully to be irritated with him at least.
"I'm sorry I didn't ask first, but I just thought-"
"Thank you, Mulder. You really didn't have to do that…but I appreciate it." Scully smiled thinly.
That was not the reaction Mulder was expecting. The normal Scully would be yelling at him to take the bed back.
"You're not mad?"
"Why would I be mad?"
Mulder shrugged.
"Mulder, it's okay. It was a very generous offer, and I know that you're just trying to help. Even though, I don't think I'm ready to go back home just yet." Scully looked down at her cup of coffee.
"That's fine with me. You can stay as long as you want, Scully."
Scully eyed Mulder, her deep blue eyes piercing into him. "But promise me you'll stop sleeping in that chair, Mulder."
Mulder nodded. "I'll sleep on the floor."
"You'll sleep on the couch." Scully scolded him.
"I'm just trying to-"
Scully placed her hand on top of Mulder's for a brief moment. "I know, Mulder. I know."
XxXxX
Another Week Later
Scully had kept herself locked in Mulder's apartment all week, besides going to her appointment with her therapist, and letting her mom visit briefly. Seeing her mom was the second worst experience she had ever had. All her mom did was cry and cry. She really did feel bad, knowing her mom was just really worried about her. But she also felt weird, and couldn't even bring herself to give her mother any specific details. She was only able to open up to her therapist about everything just two days ago. It was hard to talk about. It was hard to think about. And it was hard to forget. Mulder made it a lot easier, of course. He didn't pry, although he was starting to get on her nerves a bit lately. He did everything for her. Literally everything. He even took a leave of absence from work himself, to take care of her. And she just couldn't sit by and watch Mulder change his life for her. She was starting to feel like a burden. And that was not who she was. Dana Scully was a strong independent woman, and she could take care of herself. She was crawling in her own skin, desperately wanting to do something, anything, but unable to leave the apartment. She wanted to go back to work, but she also didn't want people to stare at her.
Scully's attention was diverted to the door, as Mulder unlocked and opened it. "Scully, it's me."
Mulder always announced himself when he entered the apartment, or any room that Scully was in. It was his way of telling her that she was safe.
"I know, Mulder." Scully was just feeling really annoyed that day, and she wasn't in the mood for Mulder's sympathy.
Mulder could sense Scully's agitation. "Everything okay?" He inched his way closer.
"Everything's fine." Scully's response was short, lacking emotion.
Mulder nodded silently, sitting down next to Scully on the couch. Over the past two weeks, Scully got used to Mulder's closeness, and somewhat craved his physical touch again. She knew the anxiety meds were starting to work. But she was slightly agitated that everything between them had been put on hold since the attack. She felt like Mulder was treating her like a little sister, instead of someone he had just started romantically seeing two weeks ago.
"Do you wanna go out for a bit? Get some lunch?" Mulder asked softly.
Scully shook her head. "I'm not hungry."
Mulder sighed, scrubbing his facial stubble with his hand. "Ooookay? Wanna watch a movie?"
Scully stared straight ahead. "Not really in the mood."
Mulder was starting to get fed up with Scully's attitude the past week. He couldn't help but feel like he was the cause of it. He was desperately trying to remain understanding, but dammit, Scully was not making it easy for him at all.
Mulder turned his body towards Scully, sighing heavily. "Scully, I think we need to talk now. I think it's time."
Scully shot Mulder a dirty look, as if to say 'how dare you tell me what to do'.
"Scully, you know you can talk to me. I won't judge and I won't say anything unless you ask me to." Mulder placed his hand on top of Scully's.
Scully left her hand underneath Mulder's, secretly enjoying the closeness, but remained short with Mulder. "Now's not a good time."
"Scully, you've been cooped up in this apartment all week. I just want to see you at least go out and get some fresh air."
Scully sighed, standing up. "Fine, I'll go out."
Mulder perked up a bit at Scully's response, but was instantly disappointed when Scully added "But by myself", before she hurried out of the apartment and slammed the door behind her.
Mulder sighed, standing up, and walking into the kitchen.
He pondered the decision for a moment, before he opened up a cupboard and pulled out an unopened liquor bottle.
XxXxX
Scully stopped at a well-known bar, that was flooded with different kinds of people. She really didn't want to be there, but knew a few drinks would loosen her up.
After five shots and a beer, Scully was definitely feeling it. And after two different guys tried to hit on her, she decided she had enough of people and called for a cab back to Mulder's apartment.
Mulder had left her a voicemail, which she did listen to, but quickly rolled her eyes and erased, as the cab driver took her back to Mulder's apartment.
"Scully, it's me. Please, call me and let me know that you're at least okay. I'm at the apartment, and it's starting to get dark, so please don't stay out too long, or I will come looking for you. Listen, I'm sorry if I upset you or if I'm smothering you. I'm just trying to be your light in the darkness. Soo…yeah. Please call me back at least. Alright…bye."
XxXxX
Scully slowly stumbled into Mulder's apartment in the dark, very much aware that Mulder was waiting for her, since he had left her a voicemail earlier. She wasn't even afraid at this point, she was angry. She was angry that the sick son of a bitch took her happiness. She was angry that he stripped her of her dignity and her self-respect. And she was angry that she couldn't make love to the man that she loved with all her heart.
Mulder sat there in the dark, just as drunk as Scully was, his eyes struggling to focus on her tiny figure entering the apartment. "Scully-"
Scully bumped into the couch, trying to feel her way around the apartment. "Mulder, I told you, I want to be alone." She slurred slightly.
Mulder sighed, hanging his head. "I wish you would talk to me."
"There's nothing to talk about, Mulder. I already told you enough." Scully stood in front of Mulder, as her body swayed a bit.
Mulder stood up, facing Scully in the moonlight that came from the window. "I want to help-"
"How can you help, Mulder? Please, tell me. Because I would like really like to know." Scully snapped.
"I know you're going through a lot right now, but you can't shut me out, Scully. I've given you your space, but I'm worried about you. I just want to take the pain away." Mulder's eyes were thick with emotion, as he stared at Scully's silhouette.
"You can't possibly know what I'm going through!" Scully hung her head, as tears streaked her face. "Fuck you, Mulder-"Her voice trailed off for a second. "Fuck you." She choked back a sob, falling into Mulder's arms, as they both fell to the floor.
Mulder held onto Scully as tight as he could, gently stroking her hair, as they rocked back and forth for what seemed like hours. And eventually, sleep succumbed them both, as they laid in each-other's arms on the floor.
XxX
Hours later Mulder woke up on the floor, alone. It was still dark outside, but the moon was shining even brighter than hours before, and was illuminating the room, making it easier for him to see. He sat up, grabbing his head, as he heard water running in the bathroom. Slowly, he got up and walked over to the bathroom.
"Scully?" He called through the door.
After a moment, the door opened quickly, as Scully walked past Mulder in a bathrobe, completely ignoring him. He didn't know how much more of 'angry Scully' that he could take. His heart ached for her, and he didn't know how to fix her. She was no longer the Scully he once knew. She was broken.
"Are you okay?" Mulder spoke softly, as he watched Scully walk towards the bedroom.
"I'm fine." Scully replied, her voice lacking emotion.
Mulder ran a hand through his hair, sighing. "Do you need anything?" He followed her, stopping in the doorway.
Scully shook her head, with her front turned away from Mulder, as she walked over to the bed.
Mulder leaned up against the door frame, crossing his arms. "Alright. Well, I'm gonna head out for some groceries and errands later. I just wanted to make sure you were safe."
"Define safe, Mulder." Scully replied bitterly.
Mulder stared at Scully's back, as his jaw clenched in frustration. "Do you want me to stay, then?"
Scully hung her head, sighing. "I don't know."
Mulder wished he could get Scully out of this funk. She was obviously hurting, a lot. And it was hurting him to even see her like this. The strong independent Dana Scully was lost.
"I'm gonna stay." He made up his mind, sighing.
"No, Mulder. You really don't have to." Scully shook her head.
"I'm gonna stay, Scully." Mulder confirmed, firmly.
Scully sighed, turning to face Mulder, her eyes unreadable. "I'm tired, Mulder."
Mulder nodded with a silent understanding. "Lay down, Scully." He motioned to her bed, slowly walking over to it.
Scully stared at Mulder for a moment before climbing into her bed, as Mulder gently covered her up with the comforter, tucking her in. But as he turned to leave, Scully grabbed his arm.
"Don't go." She whispered.
Mulder nodded, climbing into bed facing her, but keeping his distance.
Scully curled up in a ball, staring at him.
Mulder mirrored Scully, sighing, as they stared at each other for a long moment. And after a while, they both were overcome with sleep once again.
XxXxX
Mulder awoke to Scully's soft whimpers. She was still asleep, so she must be dreaming, he thought to himself. He scooted closer, gently touching Scully's arm.
"Shhh, Scully. Dana-"He cooed, trying to comfort her, without startling her.
Scully woke suddenly, gasping for air, as she flung her arms out in an attempt to fight off an imaginary attacker.
Mulder gently grabbed Scully's wrists. "Scully, it's me. You're safe." He reassured her.
Scully stared at Mulder in horror for a long moment, before curling back up in a ball, sobbing uncontrollably. "He—he was here. He was back-in my dream." She sobbed.
Mulder gently placed the palm of his hand on Scully's cheek, his stare was poignant and heavy with compassion. "Scully— "His voice slightly cracked. "I'm so sorry." His eyes searched hers with desperation.
Scully's lip quivered as she shifted her body so that her back was facing Mulder. "Hold me." She whimpered.
"Are you sure?" Mulder asked, terrified that Scully might push him away.
Scully reached her hand back and pulled Mulder's arm around her as he slowly scooted closer to her, so that they were spooning with Mulder's body wrapped around hers. "Don't let go. Don't leave me." She whispered, as tears filled her eyes.
"I'm not going anywhere. I promise." Mulder whispered back in Scully's ear, as he lightly rested his cheek on hers.
XxXxX
A few hours later Scully woke to the sun beginning to rise. She tensed for a moment and then relaxed, realizing that Mulder was the body wrapped around her. He made her feel safe, and she trusted him. She knew he would never hurt her, and a part of her felt guilty for pushing him away the past week. It wasn't until after her tragic experience, that she realized how much Mulder really cared for her. She knew she had always cared for him, but she never thought that the feelings were reciprocated. It was just really bad timing now, and she wasn't sure if she was ready to take the next step with Mulder, even though she had wanted to just a few weeks ago.
Mulder woke shortly after Scully, instantly backing his crotch away from Scully's behind as he realized that Mulder Junior was trying to come out and play. He was hoping that Scully hadn't noticed. God forbid she have to deal with another guy wanting her sexually. That last thing he wanted was for Scully to think he was perverted and got his kicks out of her vulnerability. He respected her, and he could be with her platonically for the rest of their lives if he had to. Right?
Scully was secretly very aware of Mulder's morning physical reaction, but it did not bother her like she had expected it to. She knew that Mulder was attracted to her, and she knew that he knew about her attraction for him. Besides, he was only human. It was her choice to have him spend the night with her in the bed, and a part of her felt better knowing that she had such a great man in her life to help protect her and make her feel slightly normal again.
Scully pulled Mulder's arm around her tighter, sighing contently. That was until she felt Mulder desperately trying to pull his hips away from her, and she knew exactly why.
"Mulder-"She spoke up softly.
Mulder suddenly felt extremely ashamed, knowing that Scully felt him against her just a second ago. "Scully I-"
"Mulder, it's okay." Scully's voice was truthful and reassuring.
"I'm sorry, Scully." Mulder whispered into Scully's hair, closing his eyes. *Stupid, stupid man. That is the last thing she needs to wake up to, is your morning erection pressed to her butt* He inwardly kicked himself.
Scully felt unexpectedly honored that Mulder wasn't repulsed by her, and she wanted him to know that she was not afraid of him. He didn't rape her, Robert Fuller did. And if she wanted any kind of normal life with Mulder, she knew it was up to her to make the first move. But, was she ready?
Mulder relaxed against Scully, as she gently kissed his arm, relishing in his scent. "Erase it, Mulder." She spoke just above a whisper.
Mulder strained to hear her, as he scooted his face closer to hers, so that their cheeks were touching lightly. "Erase what, Scully?" He whispered back.
"Help me forget." Scully reached back and placed her hand on Mulder's thigh, scooting her backside into Mulder's hips.
Mulder tensed for a moment, as he pondered Scully's request. Was she ready? She had pushed him away all week. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Scully in any way.
"Scully, are you sure?" Mulder lifted his head up off the pillow, looking down at her.
Scully kept her eyes facing forward, as she nodded. "I want you to be the last person who has touched me…not him. I want you, Mulder. Please."
Mulder nodded, pressing his face into Scully's hair. God, she smelled good, and he couldn't help but groan when Scully pulled his hand up to her breast. It was definitely unexpected.
"Oh, Scully." Mulder whispered in her ear, causing her breath to catch in her throat.
"Touch me, Mulder." Scully pleaded softly, licking her lips.
*Yes Ma'am* Mulder gently squeezed her breast, instantly feeling her nipple harden through the fabric.
Scully arched her back, lightly panting. She wanted this. She wanted him. It had always been Mulder. And it always would be.
Mulder moved his hand slowly down Scully's stomach, as he wrapped a leg around her. "I love you." He whispered, completely unware of what he said until he had said it. *Shit*
Scully's eyes filled with tears, as she turned her body to face Mulder, rubbing her nose against his. "I love you, too." She whispered back, searching Mulder's eyes.
Mulder leaned in and pressed his parted lips against Scully's desperate mouth, as she instantly deepened the kiss, whimpering softly.
After a moment, Mulder pulled back just enough to focus on Scully's delicate face. "It's always been you, Dana. You're my life, now. And I promise that I will never let anyone hurt you, ever again." His voice cracked, as he felt his eyes moisten.
Scully chocked back a soft sob, as she ran her finger along Mulder's jawline. "Make love to me, Fox." She whimpered, pressing her forehead against his.
Mulder closed his eyes for a moment, marinating in Scully's words. He had wanted this for so long. But a part of him knew that Scully was still going through stages, and that she was still healing. She was still confused, and vulnerable.
"Scully-"His eyes avoided hers.
Scully's body instantly stiffened, as she looked at Mulder with disappointment. "You don't want me?" Her voice was small and childlike.
Mulder tucked a loose strand of hair behind Scully's ear. "God Scully, of course I want you. I want you so much it hurts."
"But?" Scully asked firmly, pursing her lips.
"But-I want to make sure you are completely ready, Scully. I don't want to scare you." Mulder explained.
Scully pulled away from him, laughing sarcastically. "No, what you mean is that you don't want to break me…as if I'm so fragile I could break at your touch. Or maybe-maybe, you can't stand to touch me. Is that it? I disgust you now, don't I?" Scully was exasperated.
"Jesus, Scully. NO. Never. I don't know how you could even think that." Mulder's voice showed a hint of frustration now.
"Forget it, Mulder. The moment's over anyways. I want to be alone now." Scully huffed, turning away from Mulder.
Mulder reached out for Scully's arm, but she pulled away. "Scully, please let me explain. You're still having nightmares. You're still healing. And the therapist said you will go through several stages before you're ready for intimacy again." He tried to explain, but it was no use.
"I wasn't getting any intimacy from you before all of this, Mulder! I'm a big girl, I can handle it. I'm fine Mulder, really." Scully got up off the bed and crossed her arms.
"Are you really? Cause-"
"I know you have a background in psychology Mulder, but you're not my therapist!" She cut him off.
Mulder got up off the bed also and hovered over Scully, as his nostrils flared. "I will stay if you want me to stay. But I want you to open up to me, Scully."
"Isn't that what I was doing?!" Scully threw her hands up in the air, her eyes blazing.
Mulder shook his head and sighed. "I mean, verbally. You still haven't been able to tell me everything."
"Mulder, I talk about it with my therapist. I go to every appointment faithfully. I take my anxiety medicine as prescribed. And the last thing I need is you lecturing me." Scully's face was now flushed, and her breathing erratic.
Mulder ran a hand across his jaw. "I'm sorry, Scully. I just want you to be happy, and feel…safe."
"Mulder, you make me happy…and you make me feel safe." Scully eyed Mulder with sincerity.
"I wasn't there…to protect you. I've put you in so much danger…ever since you met me. I wasn't there to stop him, Scully." Mulder paced the room, running a hand through his hair.
"Is that what this is all about, Mulder? It wasn't your fault." Scully placed her hands on her hips.
Mulder sighed heavily. "I wanna stay with you, but I don't want to rush things. I really just want you to be completely ready, and I know you're not-"
"Mulder-"Scully shifted from side to side.
"Scully, I know you." Mulder shook his head.
Scully stood there for a long moment, pondering Mulder's words. He was right, she was still vulnerable and feeling broken. She knew she was searching for affection from Mulder to try and erase the disgusting feeling she still had in the pit of her stomach.
"You're right-you're right." Scully crossed her arms, avoiding eye contact with Mulder.
Mulder hooked his finger under Scully's chin and raised her eyes to his level. "Can I take you out next weekend?" His eyes were gentle, and Scully couldn't help but smile.
"Yes, of course."
"Great. I'm glad I get a second date." Mulder smiled back.
"You keep playing your cards right Agent Mulder, and you'll get more than just two dates." Scully smirked.
Mulder chuckled, gently caressing Scully's lips with his.
XxXxX
Two More Weeks Later
Scully was getting ready for her third date with Mulder, and she knew that it was time. Yes, it had only been a month, but the therapy and meds were helping her a lot more than she had ever expected them to. Of course, every woman was different. She wanted to feel normal again, and she wanted to feel Mulder in every way possible. Her nightmares weren't as frequent the past week, and Mulder was definitely physically indicating that he wanted more from Scully. No, he wasn't smothering her anymore, but he was definitely very open to her physical gestures the past few days. Robert Fuller was dead, and could not hurt her or anyone else ever again. And she had started to realize that it wasn't something to be ashamed about. It was an unfortunate tragic experience, yes, but she had the added security now. She had Mulder. And she had started going back to work just two days ago, and things went smoother than she had expected them to. Assistant Director Skinner expressed his sympathy, but then remained professional via her personal request after that. No one stared at her, no one treated her like a victim. And she was very thankful for that.
Tonight was the night. Tonight, she would take back her life and her body.
And tonight, Mulder had decided to have a nice romantic evening in instead of out in public. It was perfect. Candles, Italian food, wine, and a movie afterwards. It was just what Scully needed.
Mulder had just started the movie "Night of The Living Dead", which Scully couldn't help but giggle at. It reminded her of her conversation with Mulder a little over a month ago about zombies. She had sworn she wouldn't watch the movie with him, and here she was, watching it with Mulder.
But a quarter of the way through the movie, Scully couldn't keep her hands off of Mulder. She could hear Mulder's erratic breathing, as she ran her hand slowly up Mulder's leg.
"Scuuully, what are you doing?" Mulder groaned, trying to shift his position.
"I'm seducing you." *Honesty is always the best policy, right? *
Mulder chuckled nervously, eyeing Scully. "Oh?"
Scully nodded, leaning her face in towards Mulder's. "Is it working?"
Mulder swallowed. "Well…yes. But-"
"But what?" Scully licked her lips.
Mulder grabbed Scully's wrist firmly, as she attempted to move her hand up further, startling her. "Scully-"He eyed her seriously.
Scully pulled away, embarrassed. "Mulder, what's the problem?" She blinked at him.
"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Mulder cleared his throat.
Scully huffed sarcastically, moving away from Mulder. "Why do you keep doing this? Is it because I still haven't given you all of the details? Do you think I'm not ready to make love with you, because I haven't told you exactly what happened to me, Mulder?"
Mulder remained silent.
Scully stood up, hovering over Mulder, her breathing quickening. "Fine. You really wanna know?"
"Scully, I-"
"No, shut up. I'm going to tell you, since you really wanna know. Robert Fuller…that creep, he snuck into my bedroom window after you dropped me off that night. And he attacked me from behind, when I went to investigate the noise, thinking it was the damn cat-"
Oh God, Mulder wasn't even sure he was ready to hear this.
"And when I woke up, he had me tied to the bed by my hands and feet…completely naked— "
Mulder closed his eyes as Scully continued.
"And he held a knife up to my throat, threatening to kill me if I resisted. Of course, I couldn't scream, because he shoved one of my socks in my mouth. And I tried to picture you Mulder, as he undid his pants and forcefully penetrated me…as he put his hands and mouth all over my body. And then I managed to break free and grab my gun. And I shot that motherfucker in the head. Is that what you wanted to hear? Do you feel better now? Because, gee, I sure do. What a relief!" Scully replied dryly, flailing her arms about.
Mulder swallowed hard, opening his eyes. "Scully, I'm sorry. I just thought-"
"You thought what, Mulder? That telling you every single detail would fix things between us? I have news for you, Mulder, I just want to forget about what happened. I want to live a normal life, and have a normal sex life with the man I love. I trust you, and I know you would never hurt me. I wouldn't make a move on you if I didn't truly believe that, Mulder. I'm done being the victim, and I'm healing. So please, tell me, what is the goddamn problem? Am I ruined for you now?" Scully raised her voice, as her face reddened.
Mulder shook his head, as his eyes filled with tears. "No, never. I love you, Scully. I just want you to be happy." He whispered, blinking away the tears.
"So you keep saying. Whatever, Mulder. Just keep pushing me away." Scully was now exasperated, as she stomped into the bedroom and slammed the door, leaving Mulder in a daze.
XxXxX
Mulder sat there silently, as the black and white movie played in the background. Once the movie was finished, he sat there for another couple of minutes, pondering Scully's words. God he wanted her. He did. But he was so afraid that Scully would eventually resent him, thinking she was ready, when she wasn't. She had made two attempts in the past two weeks, and he was starting to think that maybe she was in fact ready. What should he do? Should he go to her?
After a few more minutes, Mulder walked over the bedroom, and slowly opened the door without knocking. Scully was standing with her back towards him in front of his full length mirror in a bathrobe. He wasn't sure if Scully knew he was there yet, so he just stood there silently, as he watched her run her fingers over the collar of the robe.
After a minute, Mulder's breath caught in his throat, as he watched Scully untie the robe and let it slip down her body, as it pooled at her feet. She was completely naked. Mulder wanted to close the door and give her some privacy, until Scully slightly turned her head to the side, silently letting Mulder know that she knew he was there.
*Uh oh*
Mulder slowly stepped into the room, slowly inching his way closer, as Scully's breathing quickened. Scully slowly ran her hands down her body, as Mulder inched his way even closer, stopping just a foot away from her. Mulder was now visible in the mirror behind Scully, as she eyed his reflection. She was ready. He was ready. They were both ready.
After a moment of realization, Mulder closed the gap and wrapped his arms around Scully's waist, as they both breathed heavily. He trailed his fingers down Scully's bare stomach, watching his actions in the mirror, as Scully did the same.
Mulder slowly ran his hands up to Scully's breasts, and cupped them both in his hands, gently teasing her nipples.
Scully gasped at Mulder's touch, closing her eyes briefly, as Mulder buried his face in her hair and then kissed the back of her neck. She wasn't sure how much more of this teasing she could take.
Mulder also wasn't sure how much more he could take. So far, Scully wasn't pushing him away. That was good.
Mulder ran his hands down Scully's waist again, stopping just above her curls. He ran his fingers slowly through them, stopping at Scully's warm moist center.
And that was the last straw. Scully arched her backside into Mulder as he whirled her around and feverishly kissed her with force, running his fingers through her hair.
Scully giggled as Mulder picked her up and gently placed her on the bed, only stopping long enough to rip his own clothes off.
Scully smirked, as she eyed Mulders erection, and pulled Mulder on top of her.
"Wait— "Mulder stopped Scully, as she eyed him with confusion.
*Oh no, Mulder. Not again*
"Tonight is about you." He explained, running his mouth down Scully's body.
Scully gasped once Mulder's mouth reached her curls, and she willingly spread her legs for him.
"Oh God." Was all she could make out, as Mulder's tongue found the right spot.
Mulder was gentle and very generous with his mouth and tongue, as Scully pushed his head down, feeling the tingling sensation rising within her.
*Oh god oh god oh god. OH, MULDER! *
It didn't take long, as Scully threw her head back, her whole body shuddering. And it just kept coming. Literally. Wave after wave after wave of ecstasy. It was certainly not something that either of them expected. Scully wasn't sure she had ever had multiple orgasms before. Okay, she was positive she hadn't.
Once Scully game down from the high, Mulder made his way up her body, delicately placing a kiss on her lips.
"Jesus, Scully. How many was that?" Mulder smirked.
"Three, I think." Scully giggled.
"Damn, I'm good." Mulder chuckled.
Scully could feel Mulder's erection pressed up against her leg, and she was suddenly aroused once again.
"Mulder." Scully giggled, looking down.
Mulder eyed Scully sheepishly. "I'm good."
"But I'm not. I want you inside me."
Mulder eyed Scully nervously. "Are you sure?"
"Mulder, how can you even ask me that right now? You witnessed what just happened. I want you." Scully kissed Mulder's nose.
Mulder smiled. "Alright, Scully…but we'll take it slow. Okay?"
Scully nodded. "Whatever you say." She smirked.
XxXxX
Another Week Later
Scully sighed as she walked in behind Mulder into her apartment.
"Are you okay?" Mulder asked softly.
Scully surveyed the room and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"Are you sure you wanna be here?"
Scully sucked in a sharp breath and eyed Mulder. "You're staying with me, so I'll be okay."
Mulder nodded.
It wasn't as bad as Scully thought it would be, as she slowly made her way to the bedroom. Mulder had painted the walls a brighter color, and there it was, a brand new bed sitting there in front of her. Robert Fuller was gone. His scent was gone…his voice was gone…his face was gone. He was gone. And Scully was going to be okay.
Of course, Scully and Mulder were only there to pack, since they both decided to move Scully's things into Mulder's apartment. But Scully was still okay being in the room, as she looked around once more.
She was going to be okay.
The End
End Note: Thank you so much for reading and don't forget to review my stories, because it gives me the stamina to want to keep writing and improving. It only takes a minute. ;) And if any of you have any MSR stories that you have written, I will definitely check them out, because I like to read just as much as I like to create. Us writers/readers have to stick together! Also, I wanted to make this longer and spend more time on it, but there have been a few other rape stories out there that I just couldn't compare to. One actually dealt with Mulder being raped also. It's a darker story, but beautifully written, with a happy ending.
*Update: Sequel is in progress, due to high reviewer demand. ;)
