Girl Meets "I love You"
This is a short story that's been in my mind forever so I thought I'd post it. I will have this on another site too.
Maya and Lucas. Lucas and Maya. Lucaya, as some of their classmates liked to call them. Short little stack of pancakes and Ranger Rick.
No matter how many ways you say their names it doesn't change the fact that they've been together for 9 months now. Nine happy, confusing, hard months that they've had to endure.
But they did it.
There was just one problem.
They hadn't said "I love you" yet. Shocker right? Here they were juniors, about to be seniors, in high school and they had yet to say the three words that really solidified a relationship. The hold up? They could never quite get the words out. Every time one of them would start to say it they'd get interrupted.
Like that one time they had been at the baseball game, where Lucas made the winning pitch. Right after winning the one person he came up to was Maya Hart. She congratulated him and they kissed and he almost had the words out. Until his teammates whisked him away to hoist him up on their shoulders. The moment was gone.
Or that one time they were at the homecoming dance. After sipping some punch on the sidelines-where Lucas had narrowly escaped getting punched poured on his head for starting a story Maya had already heard Riley relay to her about birthing a cow.
After the almost punch fiasco they had laughed about his forgetfulness and her tenacity and the words had been on the tip of her tongue.
Unfortunately the moment was ruined by a very loud and also very drunk-although Maya never did find out who spiked her sweetness' drink-Riley Matthews who demanded to know why Lucas couldn't like her the way he liked Maya.
She had apologized for that later. Stating that old feelings from eighth grade had resurfaced when she saw her ex Charlie making our with Missy Bradford. Maya never forgot though. Nor did she forget the way riley would look at them whenever she was around and they did something coupley.
So here they were at lunch. Cheerleaders-including Riley who had improved greatly since joining the team in eighth grade-practicing their cheers. Band geeks practicing their music for the upcoming pep rally. And jocks going over plays for their next game.
It was there, with the pep talk from Farkle, that Lucas decided he would finally tell Maya how he felt.
"Maya," He called her name to get her attention. She looked up from her tray and smiled at him.
"Yeah Hop along? "
He smirked at the old nickname. She hadn't called him that for years. Of course he hadn't called her by her first name in awhile. It was either Hart or Babe/baby. "I have something to tell you. " he began as he grabbed her hands and looked her in the eyes. Taking a deep breath he opened his mouth and said the three words that would change their relationship, hopefully for the better.
But he was overpowered by band geeks who had decided at that moment to start playing the schools fight song.
Once they were done Maya gave him a confused look. She hadn't heard him. So he took a deep breath and said it again.
But this time the cheerleaders decided to do the schools cheer. He was overpowered again. He wasn't about to be overpowered again so he took a deeper breath and yelled it so he'd be heard over the noise. "I LOVE YOU MAYA HART! "
This time he was heard. By the whole school. The problem? Maya had gone silent. She pulled her hand from his and was silently staring at the cheerleaders. Presumably Riley.
And then she said six words that absolutely killed him. "I think we should break up. " Without giving him a chance to respond she gathered her things and her tray, dumping it in the trashcan, and ran out of the cafeteria, Riley Matthews hot on her tail.
He was stunned. He thought things were going good. Great even. He couldn't believe what had just happened or why.
In fact, he refused to believe that had just happened. Not until he got some answers from her as to why she did what she did.
The next morning Maya was at her locker when Lucas stepped up to her. "Maya we need to talk." He told her. She said nothing as she gathered the last of her things out of her locker before shutting it.
"No we don't Ranger Rick. I broke up with you. That means I don't want to talk." She said before walking around him and making her way to class. She didnt want to talk. If she did then things would get out of her that she didn't want to get out.
Things like how Riley still had feelings for him, despite her constant protests that she was over him. Like how she had noticed the way Lucas and Riley were together. There was no denying that they were perfect together. Both gentle and fiercely caring. They complimented each other well. They deserved each other. They both brought out the best in each other. It didn't sit well with Maya.
Maya knew she loved Lucas. But how could she deny the sweet loving Riley Matthews her happy ever after? After all, Riley deserved it. She was the best person anyone could ever hope to be. Had the best parents, got the best grades, and just generally deserved the best.
Maya didn't deserve Lucas. She didn't deserve the love he thought he had for her. She was a broken girl from a broken home. Heck, her own father hadn't wanted her. How could this great caring guy want some so damaged?
He didn't. Not really. She knew that. He didn't want someone that would only bring him down in the long run. Maya knew this, because she knew this about the world. Girls like her didn't deserve or get guys like him.
So she ended it. She knew it was rather harsh to do it the way she had-at lunch in front of everybody-but she had panicked. And if there's anything she's good at, it's panicking and getting out of a situation before it escalates.
Her problem now was that she shared a class with him, Lucas. American history, first period, with none other than Cory Matthews as her teacher. Usually she didn't mind his class. Sure the subject was very boring, but the way he taught made everything seem much more real than just events on a page. He blended it well with what was happening in their lives.
Usually she loved that. It gave her some insight on things that she would never think of on her own. Today she knew that he would somehow make his lesson about what was going on with her and Lucas. Maya let out a sigh as she continued down the hall amongst the masses. She wished she could skip.
She couldn't though. Why? Because her oh so lovely teacher would tell his best friend who in turn would tell her mother and she didn't feel like getting a lecture on how although he didn't care about school she should because it's actually important and he wished he would have made more of an effort. She also couldn't deal with her mother's eyes getting teary when asking her if it was something she did that made her do it.
No, she couldn't skip.
She took a deep breath as she neared the classroom door. You can do this Maya. She said to herself. Just go in there and don't look at Ranger Rick or respond to him. Eventually he'll get the hint and leave you alone. She sighed again. Who was she kidding? This was the moral compass. He wouldn't just leave her alone. But she had to have just a little hope.
Pulling the door open she quickly slipped inside and into her seat in the front row. She kept her head down as she silently pulled her notebook and pen out of her bag. She flipped the notebook open and went through the pages until she found an empty one.
She began to draw. The lines and curves made by the ballpoint pen gradually began to make shapes. Her eyes glazed over as she allowed the drawing to decide what it wanted to be. She'd always been good at drawing. This was her meditation.
It wasn't until she felt a tugging on her right arm that she looked up. Surprised that she had zoned out so much. She twisted her head to the right to look at her best friend. "What?" She quietly questioned the tall brunette. Her lips slightly turned up.
"I asked if you were OK Maya." She said and squeezed the blondes arm before continuing. "I heard about what happened before class." Of course she would. No doubt he had gone to her after Maya had walked away. Another reason they belonged together? Whenever they would have a fight the first person he'd go to was Riley.
Maya sighed and nodded her head. "I'm fine Riles." She responded, forcing a smile. "He just can't accept the fact that it's over. " She felt proud of herself. That wasn't exactly a lie.
Unfortunately he had decided at that moment to walk in. Hearing everything she said Lucas marched over to her desk and started speaking. Towering over her as he clutched his backpack.
"No, Maya, " He began watching her head whip over to look at him. "I can't accept the fact that it's over, because you won't tell me why it's over. " His blazing eyes slowly dimmed taking on a different emotion, hurt. He lowered his voice and leaned down closet to her face. "Didn't I mean anything to you? Don't I deserve to know what I did to make you break up with me? " His minty breath fanned her face. He did deserve to know, but it was too humiliating to say.
Her eyes narrowed at him. She clenched her fist as she spat out her response. "I already told you Ranger Rick it wasn't working out. Leave it alone. " She shouldn't get so annoyed at him, but she couldn't help it. He was persistent, she'd give him that. But why couldn't he accept the fact that she didn't want to talk about it?
She didn't wait for a response as she picked her pen back up and went back to her drawing. She heard him sigh and shuffle past her desk to the one behind her. After he sat down she heard Riley try to comfort him.
"Don't worry Lucas. " The tall girl quietly told the boy. "She'll come around eventually and tell you, just give her time. " Maya silent scoffed and shook her head. She didn't need time. She had already made her decision. Why couldn't they just leave it alone?
Because he loves you. A voice inside her said.
She internally scoffed. He didn't love her. He just thought he did. No one could love her. She didn't deserve it.
He thinks you do. The voice said to her. Yeah right, she thought. A girl like her didn't deserve anything good. Especially not a good guy like Lucas.
What about your mom? The voice continued. Didn't she come to you with this same problem when Shawn first started to date her? And look how that turned out.
As much as she didn't want to, she had to admit that the voice was right. She remembered clearly the night her mother voiced her insecurities about her own relationship.
But this is different, she told herself. Shawn and my mom are perfect for each other. They're so much alike, they deserve each other.
What about you and Lucas? Don't you think you guys deserve each other?
Maya scoffed internally at her voice. Did it not hear her thoughts earlier? She didn't deserve him. He deserved someone like Riley.
But who are you to decide if he loves you or not?
I'm not deciding if he loves me or not. I'm just deciding if he should or not. And he shouldn't.
But-
"Miss Hart! " A stern voice interrupted. Maya jumped from the closeness of it. Looking up she saw the small frown and slight worry on the face of her teacher/second father Cory Matthews.
Cory Matthews had been the father Maya never had. From the first time she popped into Riley's bedroom window he had always been there. To guide her, teach her, and do all the things a father should do.
Whenever her mother was working and would leave her with the babysitter she'd always steal away to the Matthews' house. He'd never yell at her for sneaking out of her house. He'd simply give her a couple cookies and send her up to Riley's room.
Cory looked every bit the concerned father as he looked down at her. No doubt he had gotten the full story from not just Riley but from Shawn too. The downside of her stepfather being best friends with her teacher, they shared all the gossip they heard from the girls to each other.
They acted just like them gossiping old women that got together for various reasons only to gossip the whole time. They were worse than her and Riley.
"Can you put the art away and pay attention to class? " Mr. Matthews asked, his hands on his hips trying to keep the stern look on his face.
Maya saluted and gave a "Yes sir." as she flipped the page on her notebook and wrote the date in the corner of the paper.
"Thank you." He said with a slight smile as he turned to look at the rest of the class. "Next year you guys will be old enough to vote. Lucky for you, you all should be at the age where you can vote. You should, because its a privilege not everyone has been able to enjoy in the past." He began his introduction to the topic of the week. Maya had not been surprised when quite a few people had asked him what he meant.
"What do you mean? Everyone can vote, its one of our rights." Riley spoke out loud. Maya smiled to herself as her teacher smiled to the brunette. Sweet naïve Riley.
"No honey. In fact it wasn't until 1920 that women got the right to vote." What he said hadn't surprised Maya. She new this much, even if she didn't say it out loud. She had always been quite a bit smarter than she let people believe. Although Lucas had always seen through her façade. It was one of the reasons she loved him.
No! She chastised herself. I don't love him. I cant. Not with the way Riley feels about him.
It's not right.
It was hard, trying not to love someone because you knew your best friend loved him too. She knew what Riley had been going through. She was going through it too.
She tuned out the rest of her teacher's speech about the women's suffrage movement. Instead she went back to doodling in her notebook, content to let her teacher go on about what happened in the past. Something he said in the middle of his speech caught her ears.
Putting her pen down she lifted her head up and asked her teacher to repeat what he just said.
She got a smirk in return before Mr. Matthews spoke to her. "Oh so you were paying a little bit of attention?" He asked her. She just nodded in response, eager to hear his next words, to see if she heard him right.
"It's important to fight for what you believe in. The men back then didn't think that women deserved the right to vote. But the women did, they fought for their chance to be heard. And it paid off. They earned the right to voice their opinion just like their counterparts. So next time you make a decision for someone remember that at one point in time, some of you hadn't even had the right to do so." He repeated to the class, staring at Maya the whole time.
The speech wasn't just about the women's right's anymore. It was about Lucas' right to know why Maya did what she did. There was something else in that speech, some other lesson that Maya hadn't caught.
She thought about what he said. If the roles had been reversed, would she want to know why he broke up with her all of a sudden? Of course. She told herself. His reason wouldn't be something stupid like ours though. Her inner voice told her. She knew it was right. Her reason was kind of stupid, but that's what she did. She did stupid things and then thought about the consequences later. It's what made her Maya. Everyone knew that, including Lucas.
Would she stop asking him why if he had done it instead of her? Of course. She would badger him day after day until he finally gave in and told her why.
So why was she so hesitant in telling him?
If she was being honest with herself she would say that the reason was that she was afraid that her thoughts would turn out to be true. That he didn't actually like her. That he thought she was just a broken girl like she did. If she was being honest with herself, she'd admit that she was scared. Scared that if she told the truth he would tell her that he actually did like her, love her even, and that she wasn't just a broken girl, that she was worth love.
She didn't know which thought scared her the most.
By the end of class Maya had decided to take Mr. Matthews advice and just tell Lucas how she felt. She hoped he would understand. She hoped he would realize that it was Riley he should be with and not her. Riley was the one that he should be with. Maya was sure of it.
So why did the thought of them two together bring her such sadness and heartache?
It's becau-
No! I refuse to finish that sentence.
But you know its true. Her voice responded.
She didn't reply back. It was true.
With a new determination Maya went through the rest of the day knowing she'd soon get everything off of her chest. It was how Lucas would react that had Maya worried.
When the last bell rang Maya quickly left the classroom and made her way to her locker. She stuffed everything she wouldn't need for the night into it and grabbed the items she would need. Slamming the locker shut she turned to her right and started on her way to Lucas' locker.
Rounding the corner she spotted something that both made her happy and sad at the same time. Lucas had a tall brunette in a hug, their faces pressed up against each other and their hands tightly wrapped around each other's bodies. Maya would know the back of the girl's head anywhere.
Riley. Maya had a hunch something like this would happen. She just didn't know it would happen so soon.
Maya felt her chest tighten. Her breaths were coming in so fast she could hardly get the breath out before another one came back in. Hands were shaking, knees were weak. This was something that she had known would happen, but she hadn't been prepared for it.
No, she hadn't been prepared for this at all.
Before she could be seen by the pair, Maya turned on her heel and ran away from the scene. She ran all the way to the subway station. Quickly slowing down when she had to show her pass. She ran all the way from the station to an apartment building in Greenwich village. She ran all the way up the stairs to the only place she could think of.
The Matthews' apartment.
Not bothering to knock Maya opened the door to find Topanga and Auggie on the couch reading a book. Topanga looked up at her, surprised that she was there alone. Then her face contorting in concern and confusion. "What's wrong Maya?" The lawyer asked, sliding her son off her lap and onto the couch. Maya dropped her stuff by the door and ran over to Topanga and engulfed her in a hug. Rubbing the young blonde's back Topanga asked her again what was wrong.
The words fell out of her mouth. Everything that had happened between the day before and that day. How she felt and why she did what she did. Cory's lesson in class. Everything. She had to admit it felt good to get everything off of her chest. It didn't matter that she wasn't telling this to the person she meant to, it felt good to get these things off of her chest.
"Maya, " Topanga began, pulling herself away from the young blonde to push a few hairs out of her face so she could look at her. By this point she had sat back down on the couch, Maya curled up in her lap seeking comfort. "You are one of the strongest, fiercest young women I know. If anyone deserves a guy like Lucas its you. " She said, giving Maya a smile. "If it's meant to be Riley will come to terms with it. She's the other strongest and fiercest young woman I know. I know you would do anything for Riley, but sometimes you have to be a little selfish and do something for you. Cory is right Maya. It doesn't matter where you've been, what matters is where you're going. "
"But-"
"Maya, do you really think you don't deserve good?" The young girl just nodded her head. "Why?"
Maya sniffed. "Because I'm not all put together like Riley. I'm broken. Who would want something broken?"
Topanga smiled at the young girl. "But don't you things can be fixed?"
"I guess so."
"Then why not allow yourself to be fixed by him? He really seems to care about you. He's not one to just say things like "I love you" without actually meaning them. You should know." Topanga said, smiling fondly at the young girl she had grown to love just like she was her own daughter. She knew in her heart that what Maya had with Lucas was special and that Riley's infatuation with the boy had died down over the years, even if her daughter hadn't realized it yet. She had a feeling that Riley would realize her feelings soon and give the couple her blessing.
"I'm scared Topanga." Maya sniffed out. "You know what happened with my mom and dad. What if that happens to us?"
"Maya, " Topanga began. "Lucas is not your father. He's nothing like your father was. "
After that the two sat side by side on the couch, reading a book with Auggie. Maya didn't have to be home until later, her mom and Shawn were both at work.
Soon afterword's Riley walked through the door, a smile on her face. Lucas right behind her, his hands in his pockets and his head watching the ground as he walked. Before Lucas could see the young blonde, Riley had silently grabbed her hand and rushed her to the bay window in the young brunettes room.
Sitting down, Riley told Maya about how Lucas had come to her after school, wanting to talk. He had said he was confused on what he did to make Maya do what he did, but he wouldn't stop trying to find out. Riley recounted how she told him she thought she still liked him, but it wasn't until she heard his confession and saw the way he was after Maya broke up with him that she realized something. She didn't like him after all. She had thought she did, but over time the feelings she had with the blonde boy and turned into the feeling of friends. She didn't like Lucas the way she used to. And she knew that was the reason Maya had broken up with him.
The brunette pleaded with the blonde to confess how she felt and make up with the boy.
After the speech Maya smiled, hug her best friend, and thanked her. She told her how she had been meaning to tell him after school but saw him and Riley talking and decided to wait.
After speaking some more, the brunette pushed the blonde out of her room and urged her to go see the blonde boy in the living room.
Maya followed orders and found the blonde boy sitting alone on the couch staring at his phone. When she got closer she noticed he was staring at a picture of her. A picture she hadn't known was taken. She remembered that day. He had taken her to central park. In the picture she was looking up at the sky, probably watching the birds fly by.
She smiled to herself. That had been the day he asked her to be his girlfriend.
Walking around the couch she flung herself at the boy, not caring in the moment what happened to his phone. She felt his body stiffen before he brought his arms around her waist and holding her tightly against him. She heard him take a deep, shuddering breath before tightening his hold. She smiled against his chest and cuddled into him deeper. The couple content to just sit there for a few minutes.
Finally they broke apart. Lucas grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him. Before she could say anything he captured her lips with his own. She responded immediately and the couple enjoyed the kiss. A silent reunion between the two.
When they broke apart Maya told him her reason for doing what she did. She told him how she was broken and didn't feel like she deserved his love. She told him how she thought Riley still liked him and how she couldn't compete against someone as good as Riley. She told him how she knew that Riley and Lucas got along so good and feared that they would decide they should be a couple and leave her alone. She told him how she loved him with all her heart and had since the day he asked her to be his girlfriend. She confessed it might have been longer than that since she loved him.
He took her face in his hands and told her it would always be her. She had been the one to capture his heart. He told her that while Riley is amazing in her own way he could never love her as more than a friend or sister. He told her how he'd been in love with her since the day he asked her to be his girlfriend as well. He confessed that he might have loved her since he'd laid his eyes on her.
They kissed once more before grabbing their things and walking out the door. Maya made a mental note to thank both Matthews women for their words. She also made a mental note to thank Cory for his lesson that day.
As they made their way to Maya's apartment, she made a mental note to tell the man by her side just how much she loved him every day. She was excited for what the future would bring them. All of them. She knew great things were in store for them. She knew they would face everything together.
For it's not where you've been that matters. It's where you're going and who you're going with and she wanted to go to better places with the one she loved.
"I love you." Maya said to Lucas as she unlocked her door.
"I love you." He said to her as they sat their things at the table and began on their homework.
"I love you." They said over the years as they gazed at each other remembering the first time they said it.
"I love you." They said to each other as they took their last breath.
There you go! I hope you guys liked it! Give me some feedback and all that good stuff.
