Disclaimer: JKR owns most of this stuff, except for the plot. I asked her if she wanted it and she threw me out of Britain, so I'm taking that as a 'No' for now. Better luck next time, eh?

Enjoy :) (or at least review)

For Smitty and Bec: My muses :)


Hermione woke up at seven o'clock feeling refreshed and ready to tackle anything thrown at her that day- a rarity for her of late, as it seemed that all she ever did was schoolwork and study. Thankfully, today was a Hogsmeade day and Hermione desperately needed new clothes.

'This day is gonna be great!' she thought aloud to herself, throwing on her favourite t-shirt, noticing it was a tad too small, and tidying her hair as much as she could (which unfortunately wasn't much) before heading down to the common room to meet with Ron and Harry before leaving for Hogsmeade.

Ron and Harry looked to be as excited as Hermione was, and greeted her entrance with large grins. 'Are you ready to go?' she asked her partners in crime, and they replied merely by racing to the Gryffindor portrait. Hermione, caught up it the moment, followed suit despite the obvious fact that she would not catch up any time soon.

Upon the three friends' arrival to Hogsmeade, they came across a curious stall selling various fruits and fruit based items, which none of them could remember ever having been there during previous visits to the town.

Hermione picked up an orange and went to smell it, checking it was ripe. At this, the owner of the stall- a grouch of an old man with a long grey beard- snatched the orange out of her grasp. 'You have to pay for the orange before you do that, miss.' He snapped, rudely. 'But I was just che-,' Hermione tried to argue, But was cut off by the old man, 'I don't care. You pay before you smell it.'

Hermione found the rules this man had laid down rather odd, but paid anyway to avoid his wrath.

Hermione eyed the orange carefully as she climbed the stairs to the girls' dorm, slowly unwrapping it from the paper that the old man had covered it in before.

'I wonder why that guy was so protective of an orange.' She speculated, Ginny looking on intently. Cautiously, Hermione raised the spherical fruit in front of her face and sniffed.

'What does it smell like?' a wide-eyed Ginny inquired.

'I don't get it,' Hermione responded, 'It smells like an orange.'

Suddenly, Hermione fainted and fell to the floor with a thump. When she came to, she was initially startled, but found that the dark figures looming over her were Ron, Harry and Ginny. She sat up and walked over to the mirror, at which everyone shouted in objection. Hermione screamed as her face, specifically her hair, came into view. The frizzy mane she once knew as her hair had grown into a large bush at the top of her hair, sprouting large orange spheres.

'What happened to my hair!' she yelled. Ginny looked at the human tree in front of her and voiced her observations freely.

'You sniffed an orange, Hermione.'



A/N: If you don't get it, don't worry. It is basically an inside joke gone 100% wrong. Review anyway, because I need to know how totally awesome and completely successful it wasn't.