Chapter 1-The Chaos Begins


Disclaimer-I do not own Final Fantasy or anything that would get me sued if I didn't use this disclaimer. That includes any small things I might make fun of. I do own my character, Sendo, and this fanfic. In other words...COPY THIS FIC AND I'LL SUE YOUR ASS OFF!! Thanx.



In the Temple of Fiends...

Garland:MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I have you now, Princess. And now, I will think of something particularly evil to do to you.

Princess:You don't have a plan yet? Why did you capture me then?

Garland:Because I'm evil, and we need a plot or the author will get mad.

Sendo(me, the author) appears in a bright flash.

Sendo:That's right.

Princess:Isn't it the author's job to think of a plot?

Garland and Sendo:...Shut up.

Princess:This is just great. I'm stuck in a fanfic written by an author whose fanfic body is half dragon and half human, and the villain acts like he's been dropped as a baby several times.

Garland:(starts crying)Hey, my mommy said that she only did it twice! T_T

Sendo:(elbows Garland in the stomach)Stop crying and think of something to do to her. I need to check on the heroes. (disappears in an equally bright flash.)

Garland:All right, then. I will just have to (Lifts his arms in a very evil manner and raises his voice in the same evil manner) TICKLE YOUR FEET!!

Princess:*sigh* Try again.

Garland:...Uh, then I will...MAKE YOU EAT YOUR VEGETABLES!!

Princess:(rolls eyes) Something more scary, please?

Garland:(annoyed) Fine. I give up. I'm just going to watch my favorite video tape, then. "Barney meets the Teletubbies."

Princess:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Note:Actual scream much longer.

Garland:Hey, I like that tape! Hey, wait a minute...(grins) Yes! I can torture you and have fun at the same time! I'll even use my 45" screen TV with the BIG speakers!

Princess:I am going to kill that author for talking me into this. He said nothing about Barney when he payed me.

Garland:OK, it's playing!

The screen turns on and the purple monstrosity and the four demons appear on the screen. Sickenly cute music plays as they all start singing. Garland watches in fascination. The princess, however...

Princess:NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Note:Again, actual scream much longer.

Meanwhile, in Coneria...

Fighter:You mean to tell me, that some guy that had dragon wings, red eyes, and pointed teeth paid you 200 gil to be in this fanfic?!

Thief:Yep. By the way, thanks for coming along. I don't nessecarily trust this guy.

Fighter:And yet you trusted all of the other fanfic writers who ended up giving us nothing after all that we did for their stories?

Thief:...So I'm a slow learner. At least I finally caught on.

They stop in a deserted alley.

Thief:OK, where is he?

Fighter:You're asking me?

A black mage and a white mage walk into the alley.

Black:Do any of you guys know a guy named Sendo?

Thief:(slyly) No, I've never heard that name before. No one saw me do it. You can't make me confess.

Black:...Right.(turns to Fighter) So, do you know him?

Fighter:(points to Thief, who is still trying to confirm his innocence) He talked me into coming here to meet him.

White:(rolls eyes) Boys...

Sendo appears in a flash of light just like the first two.

Sendo:Hello, everyone. Black mage, White mage, Fighter, Thief.

Fighter:How did you know I was coming?

Sendo:Because, first of all, you're almost always the main character in FF1. Second, I gave Thief another 100 Gil to bring you with him.

Fighter's eyes widen and he turns towards Thief. Thief tries to run but is tackled. A cartoon style cloud of dust appears as they fight. A red mage walks by them into the alley, followed by a black belt, who aims a kick at both of them for good measure.

Sendo:Well, everyone's finally here, so let's start the fanfic. Wait a second! You guys need names! Let's see, You're only allowed to use four letters, so...Fighter,(He stops beating on Thief) your new name is Andy. Thief(he gets up with torn clothes and a black eye) will be called, um, Ryan. White mage is Brit, and Black mage is Tohm. Red mage will be called Dave and Black belt is John.

Ryan:Do you mind if we go to the inn or something? I think Andy punched out half my HP. At least he doesn't know magic.

Sendo:...Yet.(grins)

Ryan:(gulp)

Sendo:So, after we go to the inn, you guys can go get some weapons and magic, and you can go to the Temple of Fiends.

Dave:What for?

Sendo:What have you done dozens of times in video games and stories? Go face Garland!

Andy:So, what are we waiting for?

Sendo:For me to write the next chapter.
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Will the heroes be in time to save her royal highness from that idiot, Garland? Can they work together to win the battle that starts the beginning of a major epic? Will this fanfic get serious?(I doubt it.) And how the hell did Garland start liking Barney and the Teletubbies?
Find out in my next chapter when I feel like writing it.