Lucas POV
"Guys, can I just tell you I have absolutely no idea what's going on with Riley?" I am beyond frustrated.
I look at Farkle and Zay for their input. We are at Topanga's but it's just us guys….the girls are off doing who knows what, who knows where.
During our recent trip to Texas, I experienced the highest of highs, taming Tombstone and the lowest of lows, Riley deciding that we are siblings. Siblings? What does that even mean? My feelings towards her are anything but brotherly.
"Lucas, talk to us. Maybe we can help you figure it out?" Zay answers.
"I don't know that I can explain anything. Down is up, up is down." My head and my heart hurt. I have been running through everything nonstop since we've returned. I am no closer to understanding it now than I did then.
Farkle speaks "Here's what we do know. For some reason, Riley decided you guys are brother and sister, Maya likes you, Charlie is chasing after Riley again, and Auggie said that you can't be Riley's brother. That's his job. Did I miss anything?"
My stomach falls to my feet and I suddenly can't look my friends in the eye.
"The night at the campfire….when you all left Maya and I alone? I almost kissed her" I confess quietly.
There are a few moments of silence and then Farkle explodes
"WHAT?! How could you do that to Riley? I thought you had feelings for her."
"Farkle, calm down. So Lucas, do you like Maya?" Zay asks with a confused look on his face.
"Look, I said I almost did….but I couldn't. Do I like Maya? Yes….but I love Riley. As I held Maya's face in my hands and leaned in, all I could think about is that this was not my sunshine. She is the only one who should be in my arms.
I consider Maya a good friend, if anything- I would consider her my sister. Riley is my other half. She is the calm to my turmoil, the yin to my yang…."
"Lucas, if you feel that way, why haven't you guys tried dating again?" Zay asks puzzled.
"When we tried last time, it was because of peer pressure. It spooked us both. We went from being able to talk about everything to not being able to say a word to each other. We decided that we would wait. As long as we were still together, I was content to go slow and wait for our moment to happen." I can't help but wonder where things went wrong. I thought Riley and I were on the same page.
"What are you going to do?" Farkle looks as upset as I feel. He has always worn his heart on his sleeve when it came to the girls.
"What can I do? I love her enough to let her go. I want her to be happy and if this is what she wants. I have no choice but to suck it up and deal with it."
"But, Lucas…. What about your happiness?" Zay questions.
"Riley is my happiness and I'll suffer through anything to keep her in my life" I answer. I'm not happy about any of this but I don't see an alternative. Riley HAS to stay a part of my life… I can't imagine going through life without her by my side in some capacity. If the only way to keep her around is to be her brother, then I am now Lucas "Matthews"
Farkle looks around the room before he leans in towards me "I'm going to tell you what I think is going on. I could be wrong, but I've known Riley a long time so it's not likely. I think she loves you. I think she is only stepping back because of Maya. Riley feels guilty that her life has been relatively struggle free compared to Maya's. If she thinks that something will make Maya happy, she will sacrifice her own happiness to see it happen. In this case, it was you. I think Maya is amazing but she is not the girl for you Lucas….Riley is."
"What do I do Farkle?"
"You wait. I know it's going to be tough but hang in there. I don't think it will take long for things to go back to the way they were."
"How long do I wait? That little turd Charlie is already making a move on her." I feel my temper start to rise.
"Charlie is a cover. She doesn't feel anything for him. Her heart belongs to you. I don't think you will have to wait long at all"
"Ok Farkle, I will wait….for now. Understand this, I will not give up on Riley and I being a couple. Once she sees the light, I'll be damned if we will be separated again."
I think about everything for a moment….Farkle is a genius….very rarely, if ever wrong. I will do as he suggested for a short while. But only a short while…
I whisper to myself "I love you Riley and sunshine- my moment is coming."
