1 d0n't 0wnz 3ar7hb0und 0r S0n1c 7h3 h3dg3h0g, bu7 1 d0 0wnz 7h1s f4nf1c(finally I get to own something!!!:0) Sega, APE, Pl3as3 d0n't su3.
That Crazy Tea!
By B3n Wh17n3y
or EZcheesesorceroryahoo.com
Ever since we beat Gigyas, we were flooded by press from all over the world, I've never seen so much press!!!! Me and Paula couldn't date in peace, and I BARELY kept from PSI'ing the media. After a couple of months, the press died down, and we mostly got some peace and quiet, course, there's always the annoying local school newspaper trying to contact me for a week every year. But in my freetime, I've been indulging in a more secretive activity, the hallucination-inducing Saturn Valley "herbal" tea!!! Mostly Me, Paula, and Jeff, but I been tryin' to get Poo to try it, but hes paranoid. Oh well. "C'mon Poo, it's not like it's gonna kill us, it never has before!?!?!" "I still don't trust it." "Okay, you don't have to, but you can at least join us?" "Okay, but just to make sure you don't die while stoned off of tea." "Great!"
Meanwhile, in another dimension...
"I wish something new would happen, like another world crisis or something..." said a certain blue hedgehog to a yellow two-tailed fox. "Yeah, all it is collect emeralds, foil Dr. Robotnik, scatter the emeralds. Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat." "God, this is boring..."
Back in Eagleland...
"Off to Saturn Valley we go, to get stoned on some herbal tea!!" Sang Ness as he marched toward the cave beside Grapefruit Falls. "Godded Violent Roaches, there always here to piss me off." Said Ness as stepped on several Violent Roaches.
They got to Saturn Valley, got sat down at the table while Ness took up orders. "Paula, Jeff and I will have the herbal tea and you, Poo?" "I'll have coffee." "Pussy!" "Oh shut up, Ness." And Ness pulled the Mr. Saturn to the side and whispered in his (ear) "Hey, do you think you can make some herbal that looks like coffee?" "Yeeeeeeeesssssss." "Okay, then that will be three herbal teas and an herbal tea that looks like a coffee." "M'kay" It said in its awkward voice.
The tea was ready and they all drank up. "This tastes weird, Ness, did you do something to this tea?" "No, of course not." Ness did an anime giant sweatdrop, "Jeez, Ness, how is it possible to make a sweatdrop that big?" "I don't know, the author did it." "Author?" "Never mind." And then a giant portal appeared in the Mr. Saturn's living room for no apparent reason. "Hey, where'd that portal come from?" "I don't know, what I wanna know is why are there 6 multi-colored gems in the middle?" "I don't know, but I'm feeling a tug!" And Ness yelled as the portal sucked the children in, "It's pullin' us in!!!!!!"
In Times Square( the town Sonic lives by)...
Sonic and friends were chillin' out by the public pool when they heard a large crash. "What was that?" Said Sonic. "I don't know, but it came from over in that direction, we'd better investigate." Said Tails, pointing.
"Ugh, what happened?" Said Ness, rubbing his head. "I don't know, but here are those weird diamond thingies." Said Paula, hold her Holy Frying Pan(Paula's best weapon in the game)in one hand and the "diamond thingies" in the other. They all split the "diamond thingies" between each other and equipped all their stuff except for poor Mr. Saturn who was carried by Poo since he was the strongest. Suddenly Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy showed up. "What happened h-OH MY GOD, the Chaos Emeralds!!! Hand 'em over!" Said Sonic. "Why? We found 'em here and I'm not sure I can trust you and your "furry" friends!!" Said Ness. "Give us the emeralds or we'll have to use force!!!" Said Sonic. "I don't think you know who we are." Said Ness. "No, I don't think you know who WE are." Said Sonic. "Oh, then I guess introductions are in order. I'm Ness, this is Paula, that's Jeff, and he's Poo." Said Ness in a polite manner. "His name is POO! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAAAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHAAAHAAAA!!!!!!!" Said Sonic and friends.
"THAT'S IT! NOBODY MAKES FUN OF POO BUT ME!!! LET'S GET IT ON!!!!!!!!" Said Ness as he pulled out his baseball bat, Paula pulls out her Holy Frying Pan, Jeff pulls out his Gaia Beam, and Poo, looking particularly infuriated, pulls out his Sword of Kings. "You will feel the wrath of my psychic powers!!!!" Said Ness. "Psychic Powers? Like Ms. Cleo?" and Sonic said mockingly "Hey, dis' is Ms. Cleo, tell me ya' problems, child!" "That's it! PSI ROCKIN' ALPHA!" Ness screamed as he shot his trademark psychic attack aimed straight at Sonic, making a direct hit, sending Sonic flying 6-7 feet. "Eat that, Biaaaaatch!" Said Ness in an obnoxious manner.
"Holy shit! I thought only Shadow could do that!" Said Sonic really loud. "Apparrently they're psychic." Said Tails ponderously. "This is gonna be so easy, I bet Jeff could do it by himself, Jeff?" Ness looked over to see Jeff getting the crap pounded out of him by Knuckles. "Paula, could ya' get that thing offa' Jeff while I get a Cup of LifeNoodles?" Said Ness. "Sure."
Said Paula as she got behind Knuckles who was still pounding Jeff, she raised her Holy Frying Pan and CLONK and Knuckles was unconscious on the ground, she told Poo something, and he picked up Knuckles and flung him over to Sonic who caught him and laid him down on the ground. "Aah, the Cup of LifeNoodles, saved me many a time." And Ness started to force feed Jeff the noodles.
"Alright. Let's stop foolin' around and beat these guys." Said Sonic as he rushed up next to Ness real fast and punched him in the face real hard, sending him a few feet away. "That the best you got? BRING IT ON!" Said Ness as he stood in a batting stance with his Casey Bat. "M'kay" Said Sonic and he ran real fast in a circle around Ness. "Shit, I'm not gonna be able to hit something that fast! Guess I'll just have to blow it all up. PSI ROCKIN' OMEGA!!!!!!!" Ness shouted, and the ground around him started to rumble, and a shockwave of power that was psi rockin's most powerful form blew Sonic headfirst into a rock, knocking him out and probably giving him a giant concussion. "Oh shit!!! I didn't mean to put that much power into it!!!" Said Ness. As Sonic's friends rushed up to his unconscious(and maybe dead)body, Ness could hear things like "Oh my god!" and "Is he dead?". Ness was feeling bad, so he walked up to the group of "furries" surrounding sonic and said, "PSI LIFEUP OMEGA!" Then he said, "If he isn't healed in thirty minutes by psi lifeup omega, then that means he's dead-" The group gasped "If he is then force feed him this and he will revive. Sorry for possibly killing..." "Sonic." Tails said, looking stricken. "-Sonic. but this should do the trick." Ness said as he handed Tails a Cup of Lifenoodles. "Well, time to figure out where the hell we are." Ness said semi-exhausted as he passed his friends, who looked shocked and horrified at Ness's display of overkill, but they still followed him, even though they forgot Mr. Saturn.
Little did Ness & friends know they were being watched by a certain engineer bent on the construction of "Robotnik Land." "I can't believe you killed him, Ness." Said Paula, looking disappointed. "I didn't mean to, I got pissed and lost my head." "Hey guys, I'm startin' ta' feel itchy all over." said Jeff, scratching himself with both hands. "Jeff, we don't want to hear about it, everytime your body does something." said Ness, a little annoyed. "WTF?!?!?!?!?" said Jeff looking at his fingernails in shock. Ness looked at Jeff, then at his fingernails, then back at Jeff. "Something is different about him" Ness thought while Jeff freaked out. Then Ness looked at his fingernails closer and thought "Jeff's fingernails look different... ...almost like... ...CLAWS!!! And his skin looks kinda orange-ish, and his nose is starting to look like... ...that Sonic fella's nose!!! OH MY GOD JEFF IS-" Ness's thought was cut off as Jeff yelled "I'M TURNING INTO ONE OF THOSE ANIMAL PEOPLE!!!!!!" Everybody was staring at Jeff in shock. He was growing fur and it was bright orange!!!! And he was growing a muzzle!!!! "Oh My God," Ness yelled. "-You're startin' ta' look like that guy who was beating the crap outta you!!!!!" Everybody gasped, including Jeff. "No, this can't be happening!!!! I WAS SO PRETTY, AND NOW I'M GROWING FUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Jeff screamed, then fell to his knees sobbing. After he finished changing, he sat there on his knees, an orange echidna with glasses and a laser beam. Ness walked up to him, patted him on the back and said, "It's alright, you're a smart person, you can figure out how to reverse this." And the new Jeff looked up at him with an enormous ball of hate, fear, sorrow, and tears and said, "No, it's not alright, you don't know how I feel, reversing this could take years, and it could kill me!!!! And that's if I can gather all the expensive parts!!! Fuck you, I'm getting out of here." And Jeff the Echidna ran off faster than all his friends could as they chased after him.
End Chapter 1
That Crazy Tea!
By B3n Wh17n3y
or EZcheesesorceroryahoo.com
Ever since we beat Gigyas, we were flooded by press from all over the world, I've never seen so much press!!!! Me and Paula couldn't date in peace, and I BARELY kept from PSI'ing the media. After a couple of months, the press died down, and we mostly got some peace and quiet, course, there's always the annoying local school newspaper trying to contact me for a week every year. But in my freetime, I've been indulging in a more secretive activity, the hallucination-inducing Saturn Valley "herbal" tea!!! Mostly Me, Paula, and Jeff, but I been tryin' to get Poo to try it, but hes paranoid. Oh well. "C'mon Poo, it's not like it's gonna kill us, it never has before!?!?!" "I still don't trust it." "Okay, you don't have to, but you can at least join us?" "Okay, but just to make sure you don't die while stoned off of tea." "Great!"
Meanwhile, in another dimension...
"I wish something new would happen, like another world crisis or something..." said a certain blue hedgehog to a yellow two-tailed fox. "Yeah, all it is collect emeralds, foil Dr. Robotnik, scatter the emeralds. Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat." "God, this is boring..."
Back in Eagleland...
"Off to Saturn Valley we go, to get stoned on some herbal tea!!" Sang Ness as he marched toward the cave beside Grapefruit Falls. "Godded Violent Roaches, there always here to piss me off." Said Ness as stepped on several Violent Roaches.
They got to Saturn Valley, got sat down at the table while Ness took up orders. "Paula, Jeff and I will have the herbal tea and you, Poo?" "I'll have coffee." "Pussy!" "Oh shut up, Ness." And Ness pulled the Mr. Saturn to the side and whispered in his (ear) "Hey, do you think you can make some herbal that looks like coffee?" "Yeeeeeeeesssssss." "Okay, then that will be three herbal teas and an herbal tea that looks like a coffee." "M'kay" It said in its awkward voice.
The tea was ready and they all drank up. "This tastes weird, Ness, did you do something to this tea?" "No, of course not." Ness did an anime giant sweatdrop, "Jeez, Ness, how is it possible to make a sweatdrop that big?" "I don't know, the author did it." "Author?" "Never mind." And then a giant portal appeared in the Mr. Saturn's living room for no apparent reason. "Hey, where'd that portal come from?" "I don't know, what I wanna know is why are there 6 multi-colored gems in the middle?" "I don't know, but I'm feeling a tug!" And Ness yelled as the portal sucked the children in, "It's pullin' us in!!!!!!"
In Times Square( the town Sonic lives by)...
Sonic and friends were chillin' out by the public pool when they heard a large crash. "What was that?" Said Sonic. "I don't know, but it came from over in that direction, we'd better investigate." Said Tails, pointing.
"Ugh, what happened?" Said Ness, rubbing his head. "I don't know, but here are those weird diamond thingies." Said Paula, hold her Holy Frying Pan(Paula's best weapon in the game)in one hand and the "diamond thingies" in the other. They all split the "diamond thingies" between each other and equipped all their stuff except for poor Mr. Saturn who was carried by Poo since he was the strongest. Suddenly Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy showed up. "What happened h-OH MY GOD, the Chaos Emeralds!!! Hand 'em over!" Said Sonic. "Why? We found 'em here and I'm not sure I can trust you and your "furry" friends!!" Said Ness. "Give us the emeralds or we'll have to use force!!!" Said Sonic. "I don't think you know who we are." Said Ness. "No, I don't think you know who WE are." Said Sonic. "Oh, then I guess introductions are in order. I'm Ness, this is Paula, that's Jeff, and he's Poo." Said Ness in a polite manner. "His name is POO! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAAAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHAAAHAAAA!!!!!!!" Said Sonic and friends.
"THAT'S IT! NOBODY MAKES FUN OF POO BUT ME!!! LET'S GET IT ON!!!!!!!!" Said Ness as he pulled out his baseball bat, Paula pulls out her Holy Frying Pan, Jeff pulls out his Gaia Beam, and Poo, looking particularly infuriated, pulls out his Sword of Kings. "You will feel the wrath of my psychic powers!!!!" Said Ness. "Psychic Powers? Like Ms. Cleo?" and Sonic said mockingly "Hey, dis' is Ms. Cleo, tell me ya' problems, child!" "That's it! PSI ROCKIN' ALPHA!" Ness screamed as he shot his trademark psychic attack aimed straight at Sonic, making a direct hit, sending Sonic flying 6-7 feet. "Eat that, Biaaaaatch!" Said Ness in an obnoxious manner.
"Holy shit! I thought only Shadow could do that!" Said Sonic really loud. "Apparrently they're psychic." Said Tails ponderously. "This is gonna be so easy, I bet Jeff could do it by himself, Jeff?" Ness looked over to see Jeff getting the crap pounded out of him by Knuckles. "Paula, could ya' get that thing offa' Jeff while I get a Cup of LifeNoodles?" Said Ness. "Sure."
Said Paula as she got behind Knuckles who was still pounding Jeff, she raised her Holy Frying Pan and CLONK and Knuckles was unconscious on the ground, she told Poo something, and he picked up Knuckles and flung him over to Sonic who caught him and laid him down on the ground. "Aah, the Cup of LifeNoodles, saved me many a time." And Ness started to force feed Jeff the noodles.
"Alright. Let's stop foolin' around and beat these guys." Said Sonic as he rushed up next to Ness real fast and punched him in the face real hard, sending him a few feet away. "That the best you got? BRING IT ON!" Said Ness as he stood in a batting stance with his Casey Bat. "M'kay" Said Sonic and he ran real fast in a circle around Ness. "Shit, I'm not gonna be able to hit something that fast! Guess I'll just have to blow it all up. PSI ROCKIN' OMEGA!!!!!!!" Ness shouted, and the ground around him started to rumble, and a shockwave of power that was psi rockin's most powerful form blew Sonic headfirst into a rock, knocking him out and probably giving him a giant concussion. "Oh shit!!! I didn't mean to put that much power into it!!!" Said Ness. As Sonic's friends rushed up to his unconscious(and maybe dead)body, Ness could hear things like "Oh my god!" and "Is he dead?". Ness was feeling bad, so he walked up to the group of "furries" surrounding sonic and said, "PSI LIFEUP OMEGA!" Then he said, "If he isn't healed in thirty minutes by psi lifeup omega, then that means he's dead-" The group gasped "If he is then force feed him this and he will revive. Sorry for possibly killing..." "Sonic." Tails said, looking stricken. "-Sonic. but this should do the trick." Ness said as he handed Tails a Cup of Lifenoodles. "Well, time to figure out where the hell we are." Ness said semi-exhausted as he passed his friends, who looked shocked and horrified at Ness's display of overkill, but they still followed him, even though they forgot Mr. Saturn.
Little did Ness & friends know they were being watched by a certain engineer bent on the construction of "Robotnik Land." "I can't believe you killed him, Ness." Said Paula, looking disappointed. "I didn't mean to, I got pissed and lost my head." "Hey guys, I'm startin' ta' feel itchy all over." said Jeff, scratching himself with both hands. "Jeff, we don't want to hear about it, everytime your body does something." said Ness, a little annoyed. "WTF?!?!?!?!?" said Jeff looking at his fingernails in shock. Ness looked at Jeff, then at his fingernails, then back at Jeff. "Something is different about him" Ness thought while Jeff freaked out. Then Ness looked at his fingernails closer and thought "Jeff's fingernails look different... ...almost like... ...CLAWS!!! And his skin looks kinda orange-ish, and his nose is starting to look like... ...that Sonic fella's nose!!! OH MY GOD JEFF IS-" Ness's thought was cut off as Jeff yelled "I'M TURNING INTO ONE OF THOSE ANIMAL PEOPLE!!!!!!" Everybody was staring at Jeff in shock. He was growing fur and it was bright orange!!!! And he was growing a muzzle!!!! "Oh My God," Ness yelled. "-You're startin' ta' look like that guy who was beating the crap outta you!!!!!" Everybody gasped, including Jeff. "No, this can't be happening!!!! I WAS SO PRETTY, AND NOW I'M GROWING FUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Jeff screamed, then fell to his knees sobbing. After he finished changing, he sat there on his knees, an orange echidna with glasses and a laser beam. Ness walked up to him, patted him on the back and said, "It's alright, you're a smart person, you can figure out how to reverse this." And the new Jeff looked up at him with an enormous ball of hate, fear, sorrow, and tears and said, "No, it's not alright, you don't know how I feel, reversing this could take years, and it could kill me!!!! And that's if I can gather all the expensive parts!!! Fuck you, I'm getting out of here." And Jeff the Echidna ran off faster than all his friends could as they chased after him.
End Chapter 1
