He loves me
He loves me not
He loves me
He loves me not.

Xiao sat under the Bogota tree in her school uniform. She somehow managed to evade Miharu after Algebra. Xiaoyu Ling liked solitude sometimes. She loved her friend, but there were something's that she preferred to do alone.
She picked petals delicately off the Camellia flowers. Her mind was wondering as she looked out onto campus; friends laughing at others jokes and couples holding hands affectionately.

For the moment, Xiao felt envious of those people. She wanted to be the giggling girl at her boyfriend's arm. She wanted to know what nervousness on a date felt like. She wanted to know what a passionate kiss tasted like and she wanted to know what experiencing love was like. Not just a simple crush; Xiaoyu wanted to be with someone for so long that all you thought of was them. So long that seeing their face the next time would make you sick. She wanted a relationship that lasted so long that, every sacrifice she had made for it wouldn't have been in vain.

He loves me
He loves me not
He loves me
He loves me not.

Well, which is it? Xiao knows what she feels about him, but not the other way around. She loves his strength and his drive. She loves it when he smiles and when he doesn't. His looks were great, but that wasn't the attraction. It was how he made her feel that attracted her to him. His confidence was her confidence. His happiness was her happiness. She seldom sees that in him now...that happiness. Hell, she doesn't see him at all now and it pains her.

His pain is hers. His suffering is hers and yet, with all this on her shoulders, she still bares the weight with her head held high.
Xiao wants to save him. What's inside him, no matter how much she tries to convince herself of the opposite, it scares her. She wants to remain strong for him, for herself.

"He makes it so hard," she mumbles to herself now.
Of course, he's only just looking out for her. He's only making sure that she is safe...right?
"He says so, but sometimes..." she whispers doubtfully.

Love is so merciless. It makes you feel so good when it gives you the good times. The long walks in the park, the laughs and happiness released when a certain look is given, and the dates that ended with you knowing more about the person you're with. However, love can easily erase those happy times. Those happy memories disappear instantly...
Something goes wrong and the pain is so instantaneous. The suffering can't seem to end, even when those happy times come back to you.

He despises who he is; who he's become. This only makes Xiaoyu love him more. Now she wonders if this feeling she has for him now...she wonders if it's a farce; a fabrication of a reality that isn't so real now. Is she deceiving herself into thinking that he loves her?
Does he?
Well, Ling Xiaoyu, does he?

The young teenager collects the petals in the palms of her hand and looks at them one more time. She closes her eyes and makes a wish. She holds her palms out and lets the wind carry the white Camellia petals away. They flutter out into the distance, disappearing from sight.

The Chinese martial artist smiles as they become invisible to her. Her mind is finally at ease.

"Xiaoyu!" Miharu calls from behind, "Come on or you'll be late to class!"

Xiaoyu looks back at her best friend, picks up her schoolbag, and rushes to Miharu's side.

One petal remained on the flower that she picked the others from. The wind finally pulled it from its stem and carries it away with the others...

He loves me.