SIRIUS! Don't Play With Time Turners!

Disclaimer: I own nothing people. I am just a very insane a bored human being.

AN: I am not a Harry Potter fanatic, but my Beta Reader is. She'll take the red pen of death to this story if I mess things up too bad.

Chapter one: I'm Going to Kill Sirius.Once He Stops Puking That Is.

" I'm going to kill Sirius for this... " James Potter mumbled as he stared at his reflection. Yes, he wanted to kill Sirius for what was happening. It was all

The Sirius Black who decided it would be fun to play a game of ' Toss me! Catch me!' with Remus's time turner while the other two boys were asleep. James being a seeker caught the time turner with no problem, but Sirius and his damn butter fingers...

Next thing the two conscious boys knew they where in their dorms, but it was broad daylight, and the calendar on the wall said," August 26th, 2003." James woke up a grumbling Remus and Peter dragging both boys down stairs. The common room looked the same, the furniture a little newer though. Walking outside the Portrait of the Fat Lady looked the same but she stared at them like they where ghosts.

She kept screaming over and over." You shouldn't be here!"

Remus, being the gentlemen he was, tried to placate the portrait but to no avail. All her screaming attracted something of an over-grown bat and a filthy limping man with a cat.

The over-grown bat's eye widen like saucers at the sight of them. Marauders noticed that this bat looked a lot like Snivellus but older and with greasier hair.

" I've died and gone to hell." Was all the bat said for a few minutes.

Sirius looked at the bat for a moment, he flapped his pajama-covered arms up and down like a bat. James laughed at Sirius and pulled all the Marauders into a huddle.

" It can't be." Peter said staring at the over grown bat from the huddle.

" Yea. I'm with Wormtail by the laws of natural selection he should be allowed have lived this long." Sirius smirked still moving his arms like a bat.

Remus put in his two-cents worth, "Well he did live long enough to attend Hogwarts and he survived me."

" True" James nodded then popped his head out of the huddle. Turing his eyes humor filled eyes to the over grown bat he said," But just to be sure..."

Each Marauder turned to the bat and said in a 'I'm a little innocent angel *cough* not' voice, " Snivellus?"

Said bat's face became blood red and he snarled." TO THE HEAD MASTER'S OFFICE, NOW!"

Once in the Headmaster's office much was discussed between the Marauders, a slightly older Dumbledore, Magonigal, and that over-grown bat-errr they mean Snape. In an hours time they had learned that in this time James was dead, as was Lilly. James had a son Harry. Volemort was trying to rise to power again. Sirius was dead as well after spending most of his adult life in Azkaban, thanks to Peter who betrayed all of them. The only one of the Maurader's left alive in this time was Remus. That was all a lot to take in.

James and Sirius where shocked silent. Peter looked close to tears, and Remus tried to comfort all three of them.

" To be perfectly honest...I have never heard of a time turner sending someone foreword in time," Dumbledore admitted to the four young men." But do not fear, you will stay here. Be given room, board, and education. Think of this as a second chance gentleman. Though...........many changes will be in order..."

James glared wirily at his reflection remembering that. ' Some changes indeed.'

Dumbledore had told him," Sometimes Muggle ways are the best. Glamour magic could be lifted and your true appearance reviled." Of course this was after Magonigal had attacked his head with clippers, muggle hair gel, and muggle hair dye. Now his hair was nicely trimmed, spiked at the top, and a few shades lighter than normal. His glasses had been replaced with some muggle thing called "contacts'', little soft plastic things that sat on his eyes turning them a dark black.

Dumbledore had explained to them that James's son, Harry was almost in every way a mirror of James, except for the eyes so a change of appearance was in order. His friends teased him about his new look but he found a happy revenge once they learned their changes.

Sirius had to use something Muggle's called," A tanning bed."

"Honestly! Merlin only knows here Dumbledore get's these things!" Sirius cried as he came out to find his skin covered in a nice dark tan. Magonigal made his shave, and get one ear pierced. She cleaned up his hair and shortened it so it ended under his chin.

Remus's hair had also been cleaned up and streaks of blonde where put in his auburn hair. " I swear Magonigal is having far too much fun with this," Remus frowned, ad he put in the "contacts" that turned his eyes from amber to dark blue. Remus was put in the " tanning bed" to give is skin a little color so he wouldn't be as ghostly pale as he normally was.

Magonigal had been ruthless on Peter, giving him something muggles called," a Marine Cut." She even nicked the back of his head a few times. He was practically bald, and his ear was bleeding.

"Now that the physical differences are over and it time to see what house you'll be in." Dumbledore said taking the sorting hat from Snape.

Remus and Peter looked confused while James and Sirius laughed.

" New houses." James laughed." Yea right!"

James and Sirius put one arm around the other's shoulder and cheered," Loyal Gryffindor's forever!"

Snape smiled," I think not." And he turned a accusing stare to Peter who shrunk behind Remus.

Dumbledore smiled at them," You see it would look to suspicious to have all four of you in the same house...also it would be too much trouble- don't think I haven't forgotten about the infamous Marauders." Dumbledore laughed at them. " It would seem to odd to have all four of you transfer to Gryffindor, knowing where everything is hidden in the common rooms, so on and so forth- so in that you shall be divided."

" WHAT!?"

" You will do as the headmaster says." Snape smiled coldly

Dumbledore made to comfort the three sixteen year olds who where near tears and ready to tear his Potions Master's head off. " Now remember this, you will always be first and forever Gryffindors but for at least three of you will be in different houses." And Dumbledore placed the hat on Remus's head.

" Ah...you again... good, good! Hmm....you've gotten smarter. Very sharp. Yes I have the perfect house for you.... RAVENCLAW!"

Remus wobbled a little as he walked away from Dumbledore and that sorting hat. He kept repeating over and over," Ravenclaw?" in complete shock.

Sirius looked at Snape trying to figure out why he looked so disappointed at Remus getting into Ravenclaw.

Next was James, the hat didn't even take a minute to sit on his head before it shouted out " GRYFFINDOR!"

James blew out a breath of relief and walked happily back to the others. Sirius and Peter both looked like they where going to faint, the only houses left where Slytherin and HufflePuff.

Dumbledore placed that hat on Peter's head." Hmmm ah.it's the little backstabber's turn.but this is a new chance.a new life for you.let's see." Peter was shaking like a leaf." Pfht! You little pansy.why I ever put you in Gryffindor I'll never know. Hmmmm.HUFFLEPUFF!"

Peter let out a small sigh of relief, HufflePuff was better than Slytherin. That's when it clicked, that by the process of selection and that fact them each of them was to be in a separate house.Sirius was.

Both Snape and Sirius turned white was ghost. Sirius then turned a pale shade of green.

Snape's eye widened in horror," Albus you've got to be kidding! That hat's gone nutters I tell you! There is no way some bloody, simple-minded Gryffin-" But Snape never got to finish his sentence because at that exact moment Sirius puked onto Snape's robes then fainted.

End of Chapter One

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