A/N: One of my favorite ships! I absolutely love Dean and Seamus and this just came to me randomly the other day so I sat down and wrote it in one go. Please review, I would love to know if I did this ship justice because it's my first Deamus fanfic. Also please check out my other HP fanfics!
Warnings: mentions of cutting, boyxboy relationship/kissing
Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter Series or Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas. If I did, their relationship would be shown in the books. :) Instead I just borrow them and return them (almost) as good as new.
The sixth year boys' dorm room was finally empty, Dean having just left. Seamus slid out of his bed, looking around the room once more to make sure that everyone truly was gone. Noticing that the coast was clear, he made his way across the room to the mirror that was hanging on the wall near Neville's bed. Standing in front of the full-body mirror, Seamus slowly unbuttoned his shirt to reveal the smooth pale skin underneath. The skin that never saw the sun. Taking a deep breath, he slowly slid the white uniform shirt off of his shoulders, down his arms, to its final resting place on the floor beside him.
The light from the window next to him caught the scars on his stomach just right, causing them to stand out. He traced the scars, the most recent from only a few months ago. Seamus hated the way he looked, from the sandy blond hair on his head down to the too short toes on his feet. The thing he hated most of all, however, was his stomach. He hated the way it looked. It wasn't toned like Dean's or tanned like Harry's. No, it was fat and pale and disgusting. It didn't matter what angle he was looking at it from either.
Out of everything that his father had yelled at him for, the way his stomach looked was the major one, even over being a wizard. A day didn't go by when he was younger that his father wouldn't tell him to cover himself up, because he was 'embarrassing' himself by letting his stomach to be seen. Even if it was at the beach, his father forced him to wear a shirt. That habit hadn't died when he went back to school either. Whenever it was time for the boys in his dormitory to change, whether for bed or for the new day ahead of them, Seamus would sit on his bed, the curtains closed, and change. If the other boys had noticed, they certainly hadn't said anything to him about his strange behavior.
Standing there in front of the mirror, his eyes burning with unshed tears, Seamus was ashamed to be a Gryffindor. He wasn't brave like the rest of his house mates, nor was he courageous. He probably would have been better off as a Hufflepuff. At least then he wouldn't have to worry about pleasing anyone.
"Seamus? Are you crying?" Seamus looked up from the reflection of his stomach in the mirror to the place over his left shoulder. Standing behind him, sketch book in hand, was Dean. Seamus yelped, grabbed his shirt and ran to his bed, closing the curtains as he jumped in. As quickly as he could, he put his shirt back on, his hands hovering over the final button when the curtains opened, flooding the small space with light. "Seamus, what's wrong?"
Dean sat down on the bed and placed his charcoal smudged hand on his best mate's knee. Seamus shied away from the taller boy's touch. "N-nothing." The smaller Gryffindor brought his knees to his chest, bringing his head down to rest on them. Why did his best mate have to find him when he was at his ugliest?
"There has to be something wrong, otherwise you wouldn't have been crying. And why did you freak out just now? Is that related to what's wrong? Shay, please just tell me." Dean didn't like seeing his usually hyper, over-talkative friend being quiet and upset. Once again, Seamus shook his head.
"Does this have to do with why you weren't wearing a shirt just now? Or why you never change in front of any of us?" This time, he nodded.
"I'm disgusting without one." The Irish lad mumbled into his knees.
Dean was taken aback. He had never heard his best mate talk bad about himself. "Sit up." He ordered him. It was now Seamus' turn to be taken aback, Dean wasn't the demanding type. Rather reluctantly, Seamus lifted up his head and brought his legs to a criss-cross position. Dean kneeled in front of Seamus, his hands reaching up to the top button of Seamus' shirt.
Slowly, he unbuttoned each one, revealing a little bit more of Seamus' skin each time. After the first three or four buttons, which covered his chest area, Seamus started to panic for he knew that Dean would soon be getting to his stomach. As Dean started on the fifth button, Seamus let out a whimper, causing him to stop.
"Please, don't go on." Dean heard the hurt in his voice, but decided to not listen to him. He continued until all of the buttons were undone, and the shirt was lying open with Seamus' pale torso exposed.
"Don't move." Dean whispered. He slid the shirt the rest of the way off, throwing it carelessly at the foot of the bed to rest with his sketchpad. His dark hand ghosted over Seamus' pale flesh. With a trembling finger, he lightly traced each scar on Seamus' skin. When he counted them all up there were 59. Tears streamed down Seamus' face.
"Shay, what are these from?" He asked, running a finger over one of the newer scars.
"Razors, knifes, anything sharp I could get my hands on."
"Why are they there?"
"Because, I hate the way I look in the mirror. It was my way of releasing the pain and anger I felt towards myself."
"But why did you do it?"
"Because I'm disgusting. Don't you think I'm disgusting?" He whispered.
"No Seamus. You aren't disgusting."
"But look at me!" Seamus gestured to his belly. "I'm fat!"
"Shay, you are not fat. Perhaps a little chubby, but then again aren't we all?"
"You aren't. You're stomach is flat and you have abs. All I have is this pudge!" Seamus poked his stomach, a look of pure disgust on his face. "No one will ever love a fat boy like me!" He looked down.
"Seamus Finnigan, look at me!" Dean brought two fingers under the Irish boy's chin, bringing it up so that they were now eye to eye, their faces mere inches apart. Dean's heart skipped a beat in his chest when he realized just how gorgeous his best friend's eyes were. "You are not fat and you most certainly are not disgusting! You are beautiful, just the way you are. So what if you have a few extra inches around the middle? No one is going to love you less because of it."
"Me da will." He whispered.
"You mean your own father is the one that caused you to think about yourself this way?" Seamus nodded. Anger started to rise inside of Dean. How could one's own father degrade their son about the way he looked? Weren't parents supposed to be supportive of their children?
"Ever since I was little, me da would yell at me for the way I looked, for the way I acted. I was constantly being told that I was fat and ugly and disgusting. I guess I was told this so much that I actually started to believe it. The reason I'm always acting funny and trying to get people to laugh is because I know they won't like me because of the way I look. Its al-"
"I do." Dean interrupted.
"You do what?"
"Like you because of the way you look. Shay, I don't care whether you are short or tall, skinny or fat. Merlin, I would still like you even if you had two horns and a third eye. You're my best mate. You always have been, always will be." Dean wrapped his arms around the other boy, resting his head on his shoulder. "And besides, a few extra inches around the middle means that there is more of you to love." He whispered, kissing his ear.
"W-what do you mean?"
"I love you Shay." He captured Seamus' lips with his own, surprising the shorter boy. It was a gentle, meaningful kiss, just lips and feelings. When they broke apart, he kissed away the tears on his cheeks, trailing kisses down Seamus' chest to his stomach. Dean could feel the muscles tense under his lips but he didn't stop. He kissed each individual scar, all 59 of them, making sure Seamus knew he was loved.
After the last scar- the one closest to his belly button- was kissed, Dean pulled away. "Do you still believe that no one could love you?"
Seamus sighed and laid down, pulling Dean down with him. "No, but there is only one person I want to love me."
"Is that so? And who might that be?"
"You." Seamus whispered. "That is, if you'll take me."
"Of course I'll take you Seamus. I wouldn't take anyone else."
"Pudge and all?"
Dean smiled, kissing Seamus' bare stomach once more. "Pudge and all."
A/N: I hope you liked it! Please favorite, alert, but most important-REVIEW! I would love to know if I did them justice like I said before. Thank you so much for reading and if you comment I will love you forever!
-Kaybea :)
