Dear Sasuke,
Meet me behind the school after Kakashi dismisses us today. There's something very important that I want to say to you.
~Sakura
Sasuke read the letter again, wondering what Sakura wanted him for. He had been waiting their for the past half hour, debating whether the ninja girl whom he was slightly fond of would ever show. Little did he know, she loved him back, and this was the very reason she had asked Sasuke to come.
But she was also nervous to confess this to him. After all, he was the most popular guy she knew, even after school had gotten let out, and all the girls still loved him. Sure, she was on Team 7 with him, but she was just one simple girl, in his life filled with other girls equal in talent, and Sakura wondered if she really meant that much to him.
"He probably doesn't love me at all," she thought with self-doubt as she peered behind a school wall at her beloved Sasuke, his raven hair blowing in the gentle summer breeze, his usual expression on his face, one of calm concern, as if something was always on his mind, his dark eyes averted as he was distracted by the constant flow of important thoughts. At first, it was just these things that made Sasuke attractive to her - the mystery of it all - but now that they had both joined the same team, Sakura felt that she knew him better and that her love could be considered genuine.
Finally, Sakura was able to gather up her courage. She stepped out, trembling but smiling gently. "Uh, hi, Sasuke," she stuttered, arms held inward and close to her face with timidity.
"Hey," he mumbled without looking at her. Sakura gulped; his suave tone was a bit intimidating.
She tapped her sandaled toe against the ground habitually. "Well, I guess you're wondering why I asked you to come here…" Sakura began.
"Yeah…?" Sasuke asked.
Sakura tried to tell him how she really felt, but she was restricted by embarrassment and couldn't make the words form.
"I, uh..." she blushed harshly, hands sliding up to cover even more of her reddened cheeks.
"Sakura, what is it? Are you okay?" Sasuke didn't want her to be in pain or sad. He wanted to be able to help her suddenly. If Sakura had realized this, she definitely would have been more apt to tell him that she felt the same way about him. But she didn't, and this made all the words she had rehearsed long and hard stick to the back of her throat and refuse to come out.
"I… um…" Sakura swallowed, then got an idea. "Maybe I can tell you how I feel… with a song."
Sasuke drew back in confusion, when Sakura cleared her throat and began to sing:
"Every night in my dreams I see you. I feel you. That is how I know you go on. Far across the distance And spaces between us You have come to show you go on ~ "
Sasuke blinked. Was this how Sakura really felt?
"Near, far, wherever you are I believe that the heart does go on Once more you open the door And you're here in my heart And my heart will go on and on ~ "
Sasuke couldn't believe how lucky he was. Sakura felt the same way as him. He should have been happy, so very happy, that the girl he cared about more than anything in the whole world, sometimes even more than finding his brother (at least until a good slap to the face was applied), cared about him this deeply. He should have been happy.
Except Sakura's voice sucked.
It was the awful noise created when steel wool scrapes across a mesh grate mixed with the final gurgling squeak of a mouse after its little lungs have been crushed by a rodent-hating individual wearing soccer cleats. Sakura was pouring her heart and soul into every vowel and syllable as they were her own feelings, strongly, powerfully, which was greatly appreciated. But Sasuke couldn't bear the earsplitting noise that emanated from the ninja girl; as much as he loved her, his life could only be spared if he somehow managed cease those disturbing vocals. He couldn't tell her or Sakura would be upset, but he needed to maintain his sanity.
He needed to get out of here.
"Maybe," Sasuke thought, hardly able to even hear his own thoughts since even something as innocent as thinking sent an electric spasm of pain down his spinal column, "I should pretend to be dead… No! Don't give up! You can make it through the suffering!" But their seemed to be less and less of a chance of that with every passing second.
"Love can touch us one time," Sakura continued obnoxiously."And last for a lifetime~ And never go till we're one~ Love was when I loved you~ One true time I hold to~ In my life we'll always go on~ "
Sasuke was barely able to clench his jaw, holding back a hysterical scream. It wasn't just her insufferable singing that was destroying him; it was the particular song she had chosen to admit her love. It was the same one that Itachi would belt out when they were little and he would sit on Sasuke's head while eating every single Oreo out of the box. While Sasuke tried not to have a conniption fit, Sakura continued on, blissfully unaware and shrieking out her song of devotion, filling her beloved's head with agonizing memories and ripping out the lasting threads of sanity one by one.
"There is some love that will not go away!" she squealed at the top of her lungs.
"One more chorus! Almost there! You can do it!" Sasuke thought, face red with the strain from forcing himself to listen to her mirror-breaking voice, every vein in his face popping out against the skin.
"Near, far, wherever you are~ I believe that the heart does go on~ Once more you open the door~ And you're here in my heart~ And my heart will go on and OOOOOOON!" Sakura held the last note for an entirety seven minutes, a sound that rivaled the highest, loudest pitch ever reached by Georgia Brown. During those horrid moments of pure torment, Sasuke could take the gut-wrenching afflictions no longer. He broke down on the ground, unable to compose himself, and lost control, writhing and sputtering as he succumbed to his insanity. Eventually, his eyes rolled back into his head to reveal only the whites, and he went into cardiac arrest. Every window of the school shattered and diamond-like splinters of glass fell around the passionate ninja girl as the note reverberated throughout the area. It was a good thing all the students were home, for surely their young ears wouldn't have been able to take such intervals, and they would have passed away in a number of seconds.
When Sakura finally felt the desperate need for oxygen burn her lungs and ended her epic song, she gasped for air and fell onto her hands and knees.
"Well, Sasuke," she panted, sweat dripping off her forehead like rain, "what do you think? Did I make my feelings apparent? Do you understand now?"
She lifted her head up high, but saw no one, for she was looking too high.
"Sasuke?" she yelled raspily, twisting her head this way and that. Then she saw him on the ground, vibrating and shaking violently in the midst of a seizure, drooling excessively, tears spilling out of his eyes from lack of blinking.
"Sasuke! Who did this to you?!" She raced over and lifting up his fluffy head.
Sasuke looked like he was trying to say something, but instead only coughed up some blood.
"Sasuke! Nooo-" But Sakura's equally epic scream was cut off by a sock being stuffed in her mouth.
"You're a disturbance to the peace!" Tsunade shouted, giving her a nice sock to the scalp. "I came to deal with you myself! What's happened to him?" The hokage kicked Sasuke with her 'I mean business' combat boots.
"I don't know!" Sakura cried. "One minute he was his usual stoic self, the next he was like this! Do you think I should give him... the Jaws of Life?
"Geez, are you ever desperate. I'll take care of him." Tsunade grabbed Sasuke and slung him over her shoulder potato-sack style and the three went off to the hospital.
When Sakura figured out that she was the one who hurt Sasuke, she was so embarrassed that they didn't have a decent SasuSaku love scene until episode 108. Sasuke was so scarred be the experience that he was only able to babble incoherent gibberish until Tsunade hit him with a lamp and he forgot everything that happened.
THE END
Writing the beginning felt weird because I always write parodies... but the rest was worth it.
I wrote this because people have written fanfics where the characters sing and they always sing well and their voice inspires. One with the opposite effect was just begging to be written. Hope you enjoyed it!
The song was My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion, in case no one could figure out that from the chorus.
