HI this is vampire-serpent this is my new fanfiction

CHANGE

Squall walked towards his friends in the cafeteria. "Hi." Squall said taking a seat next to Rinoa "Hi" Rinoa replied kissing Squall on the cheek. "So I was wondering why don't we go down to Esther and have a meal and then go see Laguna." Quistis said quickly looking at the angry face of Squall. "I'm ok about going for a meal but I AM NOT GOING TO SEE HIM!" "Squall just because you found out he's your dad doesn't mean you don't see him. Don't you think a dad should know how his son is." Rinoa spoke hugging Squall. "He's not my father." "Don't say that your going and that's that."

Raganork

"Yes I won, I have all your cards!!!!!!!!!! Zell shouted taking Selphies cards. "Oh shut up you were just lucky that's all! Next time you won't be so lucky." "Yeah right, you're just jealous that I'm better than you." Zell yelled leaning back in his leather seat. "That's it you've gone to far." Selphie shouted jumping up from her seat and knocking the table over. "Carm down sephie." Irvine said grabbing her "Ok, ok the only way to settle this is to ask Squall." Zell turned around to look at Squall collapsed on the floor. "Oh my god, Squall wake up, Selphie something's wrong with Squall. Selphies ran to Squall kneeling by his side and checking his pulse. "Oh god, Quistis head strait to Dr Odin's

Odin's lab

Odin walked quietly into the waiting room a look of confusion on his face. "What's wrong with Squall," Selphie asked in a worried tone. "I'm not sure what's wrong with Squall, I'm Sorry." Dr Odin replied sadly "So should we phone Laguna and let him know he may have an idea what's wrong." Irvine asked "Good idea, you go phone him." Quistis said pointing at a phone on the wall. Irvine walked towards the phone. Ring Ring (this is so sad) "Hello this is Irvine, I'm a friend of Laguna could I speak to him please it's very important." "Ok, I'll see if he is available, please hold." The secretary spoke putting the line on hold. "Hello, What's the matter Irvine?" "Well Squall fainted when we were heading to Esther so we went strait to Dr Odin, He says he's not sure what's happening to Squall, so we thought you may have an idea." "Ok Irvine I'll be down soon." "Thanks Laguna." Irvine said hanging up.

Odin's lab 5 minutes later

Laguna ran into the lab "Where's Squall?" "He's in there." Zell said pointing to a door on the other side of the waiting room =. Laguna walked slowly towards the door opening it slightly before going through. "Odin what's wrong with Squall?" Laguna asked looking down at his son. Odin sighed. "It's time."

What do you think.