AN: This was written partially in response to Ffordesoon's KiGo Dance challenge over on the Haven, and partially because people kept asking about a certain song mentioned at the end of Waltzing With Shego. Legalese: Kim Possible, Monique, Shego, Tara, Hope, Jessica and all other characters borrowed from the wonderful KP Universe are the creations of Mark McCorkle and Bob Schooley, and those names are all trademarks of the Disney media organizations. Although use in this context may be considered fair under parody law, just in case: this work was not created for profit, no money changed hands etc.
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Disco Kimferno
By SHADO COMMANDER
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Kim couldn't believe it. How had she let Monique talk her into coming to this club?
"Oh, IBF girlfriend," Mon had told her. "I want to check out what's hot with the high fashion set and Disco Inferno is where they're hanging out these days. You don't HAVE to be gay to go in there, you know?"
"Then why do you need ME?" Kim had retorted.
"Because I don't want to get hit on by a bunch of people who think I don't have a date, and unlike most of my friends, you already owe me a couple of major favors," Monique had grinned. "So I'm calling one of them in."
So Kim had agreed to come and 'hold down the table' while Monique cruised the floor. Er, make that WALKED around the floor, cruising having a rather different meaning in this context. And just THINKING about it made her want to shrink back into the black leather cushions and turn invisible. At least it was dark in here. Normally she hated dark clubs with flashing lights and smoke, but here it was like camouflage and incredibly welcome.
God, what was wrong with her? It wasn't like she was a homophobe… she'd never been bothered or intimidated by lesbians. She was comfortable in her sexuality. Really she was. And she knew what she wanted. Except that she didn't know just ONE little thing…
Okay, truth check time. Maybe she did know, but she didn't want to know… it was all so damn complicated, and coming here, to this place, wasn't helping her think. And she needed to think. Not to concentrate on the… dancing. All the bodies milling around. Same sex to same sex. Touching. Ginding.
Kim went to take another drink of her diet soda and realized that it was dry. Just like it had been the last three times she'd tried to take a sip. She wished Monique would get back so she could tell her she was leaving, but she couldn't even see her friend out on the floor.
Desperate for moisture… it had to be that fake smoke… Kim discretely tilted her glass back in front of her mouth and used her long pink tongue to scoop up the top-laying cubes of ice. She never really thought about it. It was a simple, practical skill born from long hours of practicing dialing phones, , using lock-picks, untying ropes and opening doors and shackles with just her mouth alone, and she had no idea how many eyes around the room were being caught by her little display.
Until she started chewing the ice and noticed that suddenly she was the subject of some VERY interested looks.
Oh fuck. Kim blushed so red that her hair blended into her face and was starting to get up to leave when the current tune that had been playing over the speaker system suddenly came to a stop as the DJ's voice interrupted is soft, sultry tones.
"Ladies, gentlemen and those who're not yet sure, we're going to take a little break from the platters with a special bit of live music. Today marks a very special occasion in someone here's life, but her VERY good friends inform me that she needs a little help with a personal issue… So, they've decided to give her a gentle nudge. An ICEBREAKER if you will…"
Kim froze, somehow knowing what the next words would be:
"So, KIM, this is for you."
Kim's gut did a multiple tuck and roll as a small spotlight picked out… not just Monique, but also Tara, Jessica and Hope, all of whom had suddenly appeared on the small stage at the front of the room. To the rest of the crowd they might appear to be dressed as an extremely off version of the Village People, but in fact, Tara, her blonde hair gelled to the max in her black t-shirt was obviously dressed as Motor Ed. Jessica in her skin-tight black pants and even tighter muscle shirt was Senor Senior Jr., while Hope, wearing her tiny tam o shanter and even tinier kilt skirt, was indisputably Duff Killigan. Rounding out the group, Monique, bedecked in feathers and showing a more than generous amount of skin was not the Native American Chief, but Aviarius.
"Hey there GLBT community!" Monique announced, "We're the Intervention People, and this is for YOU girlfriend."
With that, the butchly attired blonde cheerleader began playing a ferocious air guitar and the pulsing pre-recorded music that Hope put on was unmistakable. After all, of all the disco classics, it was one of the tiny handful that had transcended its dance club origins to become something larger, an anthem of an entire lifestyle, and in re-versioning the Village People's classic Kim had no doubt as to what their intent was…
"Oh God," she sighed, as Monique belted out the first lines of what had once been Y.M.C.A.
MONIQUE:
Hey Girl, are your thoughts starting to range?
That's right, Girlfriend, you've been acting quite strange!
Could it, be Kim, there's been some kind of change?
Because we're thinking you could be…
TARA:
Hey Kim, what's with you and Shego?
We're not, blind Kim, when you fight toe to toe.
We've seen, the way, you inter act with your foe,
That's why all think that you might be…
ALL:
That's why we all think that Kim Might Be Gay.
That's right, Kim, we think you Might Be Gay.
JESSICA:
You say those new moves, are just to stay abreast,
But your eyes linger on her chest...
ALL:
That's why we all think that Kim Might Be Gay.
That's why we all think that Kim Might Be Gay.
HOPE:
She may have skin of green, but she's got buns of steel,
And we all saw you copping a feel...
TARA:
Hey Kim, these are honest critiques,
In the, showers, we've seen you sneak a few peeks!
Just admit it, you've checked out all our physiques,
What's happening in that head of yours…?
MONIQUE:
Hey Kim, don't feel as though you're on trial,
We're just, concerned, you might be in denial!
But it's, okay, if you've changed your life style
We just need to know this one thing:
ALL:
Is it possible You Might Be Gay?
That's right Kim Possible, Might You Be Gay?
HOPE:
We all already knew, you're of a different bent,
JESSICA:
Those combat boots were quite a hint…
ALL:
Just one more hint that Kim Might Be Gay.
Does anyone not think that Kim Might Be Gay?
MONIQUE:
It's okay to like girls, you can't change what you love,
TARA:
Some like the finger, some like the glove...
HOPE:
Hey Kim, are you listening to us?
JESSICA:
Is there, something, that we need to discuss?
TARA:
Are you, thinking, about cunnilingus?
MONIQUE:
Have you started riding on the other bus?
JESSICA:
You know, some things, a girl can't reset,
MONIQUE:
Come on, girlfriend, come out of the closet,
HOPE:
And just admit it, we don't think you'll regret
TARA:
Because we know how Shego makes you wet….
ALL:
Just tell her that You Might Be Gay.
Just tell her that You Might Be Gay.
MONIQUE:
Just tell her everything you've been feeling inside,
Tell her how you feel with Pride...
ALL:
Just Tell Her You're Gay...
You might be pleased at what she might say
HOPE:
Hey Kim, hey Kim, there's no need to deny.
You can say you're a dyke, you can say that you're bi.
ALL:
Just Tell Her You're Gay...
just tell her, you might get all the way.
MONIQUE:
Because, we're sure, Shego's a lesbian too.
The way you're looking at her, she's been looking at you!
ALL:
Tell Her You're Gay...
Stop worrying about what folks might say.
TARA:
Come on, hold on, it's come down to the crunch,
Hey Kim, it's time, to give the carpet a munch!
Kim wanted to scream and run out of the room. She wanted to vault over the entrance checkpoint and hit the street running at maximum speed until her shaking body slammed into a wall. But she didn't. She didn't because she WAS Kim Possible, and she didn't back down from a fight…
But… did she really want this fight? The one that had been going on in her heart, ever since she had seen that first video image of Shego. No matter how she tried to dodge and weave around it, this was the one issue she never seemed able to escape. And if people in her class, who'd never even SEEN her and Shego together, were putting the facts together so perfectly like this… didn't that mean that there was more to it than some crazy fixation?
Could they be… RIGHT? Was she?
She did have feelings for Shego. It was sick and wrong… not because of the gay part, her parents had raised her to be open minded about such things… but because as vibrant, as vivacious and as beautiful as Shego was, she was also evil. How could someone who stood for everything that was good and right be attracted to… no, let's be honest… be in LOVE with someone like that?
"It really doesn't make any sense, does it?" asked a familiar voice. Kim looked up in shock to see Shego standing there next to her. But this wasn't evil Shego in her green and black cat suit. Her hair was pulled up in an elaborate asian hairstyle, complete with chopsticks, and she was wearing a tight metallic green kimono that was somehow reminiscent of the prim little suit she wore when she was Miss Go.
"You…!" Kim gasped. "How…?"
"Believe it or not, being evil is only my day job," Shego smiled softly. "I know I've kinda screwed up my chances with you, what with all the death traps and beatings but… well… I can't get you out of my head. Hell, the only reason I keep working for Drakken is for the chance to wrestle with you."
Shego gulped, and for the first time Kim noticed how nervous the other woman was. She was actually shaking! "But I couldn't keep that up forever, Princess. It was driving me insane, only being able to touch you in anger. So when I realized that I still had your friends… " the pale woman flashed a quick embarrassed smile at the singers, "Your really good friends' phone numbers from when I was Miss Go… I figured I'd give it one last shot and ask you the question I wasn't able to ask you before I was changed back."
Trapped in the twin beams of Shego's desperate green eyes, Kim felt as if she was melting. As if her HEART was melting. This was so much like her secret fantasies that she HAD to be dreaming… Would she…? Could she…?
"What was the question?" Kim heard her own voice asking in a husky, shakey whisper.
Now it was the pale face, suddenly so much nearer to her, that trembled.
"I wanted to ask… if you'd go dancing with me sometime."
And the distance between them closed.
"Yes." Kim said simply, daring to touch the other woman… not in anger, but for the first time, in simple wonder. "Yes Shego. I'll dance with you."
As Shego swept her into her arms, Kim was vaguely aware that the lights in the room had become even dimmer, and that a single spotlight had picked out Monique on the stage as she proved that her skill at rewriting lyrics extended well before the disco era as she began singing a highly modified but emotionally perfect rendition of David I. Arkin and Earl Robinson brilliant appeal for racial harmony, best known for the version recorded by Three Dog Night.
My hair is red, your skin is green
Between us lies a great ravine,
My heart is red, my passion's green
I pray for God to intervene… please intervene…
Some souls are red, some souls are green,
But what is this that's in-between? And what does it mean?
And here's what I can't understand
Why can't you and I just hold hands…. Just hold hands?
The fire is red, the jungle's green
Sugar is sweet, and salt saline,
Some truth's divine, some truth's obscene,
But is there a truth that's left unseen? That's left unseen?
And now at last we plainly see
This is just a dance for you and me, For you and me…
"It's always been a dance between us," Shego whispered. "But this is a new one, Princess."
Yes," Kim thought, as her partner's strong arms joined with hers to propel them swirling into the night and the smile that had been threatening to explode onto her face erupted into the fourth of July of smiles. "A dance that's just beginning."
