Fic for the GenRai contest winner, Chibianderchan XD
Requirements: These words must be said, in any context:
1) between the pipes
2) deking (a decoying or faking motion)
3) on-the-fly

Disclaimer: Even though I'm technically Genma, K. Masashi won't let me have myself... isn't that just rude? (pouts)


Below Zero.

"Maa, Sasuke. Stop it."

"Come on, just a little bit."

"It's too cold, don't." Naruto whined, pushing Sasuke away with a cute blush on his face.

"Come on, Naruto." Sasuke smirked, holding the Popsicle closer to Naruto's mouth. "Just one little lick."

"No, you'll get turned on and then I'll have a sore—you know. It's too cold, get it away."

Genma laughed perversely from outside the window as he watched the interaction between the two Chuunin, wondering if he'd get the chance to watch the two of them do something dirty. He could only hope, though he doubted it since Naruto could be as stubborn as Raidou sometimes. It was so sad.

Besides, Genma's back was starting to hurt from being wedged between the pipes outside the couple's apartment, but it was the only way for him to spy on them without his chakra signature giving him away. The two were so mean when it came to letting him spy on them. All he did was watch, what was wrong with that?

"Genma!"

The Jounin let out an undignified scream before falling from between the pipes and landing in a huge mound of snow at the bottom of the apartment building, luckily having only fallen two floors. He poked his head out from the snow, before hollering,

"It's cold!" He jumped out of the mound and hugged himself, jumping on the spot. "God, Raidou, that was rude!"

"And spying on Naruto and Sasuke isn't rude?" Raidou's eyebrow twitched, but he tried to control his anger.

"Of course not." Genma rushed at Raidou snuggling into the other Jounin to get warm. "They know they like it."

Raidou stepped to the side, Genma letting out a small cry as he fell over, having been resting most of his weight on Raidou. He pouted up at the other man before standing and hugging himself again.

"You're so mean! First getting me all covered in snow and wet, and then insulting me, and then making me fall on my face!"

Raidou rolled his eyes before starting to walk away. Genma called out after him, scrambling to his feet and jumping on the Jounin's back. Raidou just ignored him, which proved difficult seeing as how he was currently choking him.

"Ne, ne, Raidou." Genma smirked. "I know how you can warm me up."

"No."

"You don't even know what I'm going to ask!"

"Yes I do, and the answer is no."

"But I thought you liked hot chocolate." Genma pouted.

Raidou froze, appalled. Could it be? Did he really not know Genma as well as he thought? He was thinking about hot chocolate when Raidou was thinking about things that required no clothing? Were they trading places?! Oh, God, the thought itself was terrifying!

"Hot chocolate? That's what you wanted in order to warm up?"

"Uh huh."

"Oh. Well, in that case, all right."

"Yay!" Genma jumped off Raidou's back and grabbed his hand. "You get naked, I'll melt the chocolate!" He started dragging Raidou home, the scarred Jounin blinking in confusion. It took a few seconds for it to click in his brain. By hot chocolate, Genma had meant melted chocolate smeared all over Raidou's body. He should have known better.

"Hey Genma."

"Yeah?" Genma turned to Raidou, still dragging him along. Deking, Raidou made as if to lean forward and kiss him, but the second Genma released his wrist, Raidou pulled away and started running. "Ra-Raidou! Where are you going?!" Genma started chasing him.

"You're always doing this to me!" Raidou hollered over his shoulder as he ran through the snow. "Why can't you ever be serious?!"

"I was being serious! Sex is the easiest way to get me warm again!"

"You are the only person I know who can change something innocent like hot chocolate into something perverted on-the-fly! You're so talented!"

"Why thank you." Genma grinned.

"That wasn't a compliment!" Raidou hollered as he continued running.

"Come on, Raidou, I'll only cover one part of your body." Genma exclaimed, waggling his eyebrows. How Genma could still look so perverted while running at top speed, Raidou would never know.

"No! Genma, leave me alone!"

Elsewhere in the village, Sasuke and Naruto were grinning about their peace, having heard the commotion outside. Genma thought he was so clever, but they always knew he was there.

"So, now that the pervert's gone, ready for some fun?" Sasuke asked.

"Sure thing, Sasuke-teme. I'll get some chocolate. That actually sounded pretty good." He kissed the raven's lips lightly before heading for the kitchen, Sasuke silently thanking Raidou, and thinking he was a necessary sacrifice.

END.