Disclaimer: characters and places belong to Chris Carter, to 1013 Productions and to Fox Network, except those created by me. If you find this fanfiction similar to another one, it's nothing more than a coincidence.

Production: January, 2009 – August, 2010

Rating: PG-13

Summary: In 1998, Scully left Mulder and the FBI to pursue her interrupted path in Medicine and try to be happy. Ten years later, while trying to save a young boy's life, some old wounds of hers are reopened once their paths cross in the search of the truth. Because lives may change and hope may be lost, but they still want to believe…

Extra: a different take on I Want to Believe, considering an Alternative Reality post-Fight the Future. Spoilers from the episodes.


A/N: English is not my first language and I don't have a beta-reader at the moment, so I'm sorry for any mistakes, no one is perfect. Hope you enjoy this fanfiction as much as I enjoyed writing it. :)


OUT FROM UNDER

Prologue:

Let us just say goodbye

And part of me still believes

When you say you're gonna stick around

And part of me still believes

We can find a way to work it out

But I know that we tried everything we could try

So let's just say goodbye

Forever…

"Out From Under", Britney Spears

~ July 26th, 1998

Dana Scully lowered her red-haired head and took a deep breath before coming closer to the door number 42. She could feel it: the raised heartbeat, the lump on her throat, the knees shaking besides the high temperatures, the sweaty palm hands. She was starting to panic and she knew it.

She also knew that nervousness would only make it worse, but she couldn't help it.

She knocked softly at the door but quickly understood that it wasn't needed, it was already ajar. Her blue eyes peeked through the hall and living room and focused on what was most interesting to her at that moment – him. With his back turned at her, sitting at his desk, his head lowered towards something he was holding on his lap, Mulder seemed completely lost.

Though hesitant, she inspired and expired one more time and knocked again, now as an attempt to waking him up from his own world. He seemed surprised to see her standing at his door.

"What?" he asked, noticing her tense expression. "What's wrong?"

Her throat suddenly dried out.

"Salt Lake City, Utah." It was everything she was able to say. "Transfer effective immediately."

Mulder shook his head, causing her to understand that he didn't want to hear what she had to tell him. Feeling a strange and huge tiredness taking control of her body and soul, Scully chose to continue with her speech:

"I've already handed Skinner my resignation letter."

"You can't quit, Scully, not now!" he interrupted.

"Yes, I can! I thought about not coming here to tell you in person, since I knew you would start…"

Her words were brutally cut by Mulder, when he got up from his chair and the photo album fell on the floor. She looked at the pictures – it was Mulder's family album.

"We're about to discover something!" he argued, with a voice tone near desperation, pointing at the album now lying at his feet.

"No, Mulder, you are! Please, don't do this to me…"

He seemed astonished by her conversation. And to be honest, she understood him completely; she couldn't believe she had found the courage to tell him such a thing either.

"After what happened last night, after everything we've seen in all these years, how can you even want to leave?"

"I did it, Mulder, it's done!" Scully looked the other way, incapable of facing her partner's devastated expression. "On Monday I'll ask for my readmission on the medical career."

"I need you on this, Scully!"

"You don't need me, you never did! I just hold you back…" She fought hard to let her voice be heard. "I need to go now, so…"

She wanted to say goodbye, to give him a last farewell, but the words died still on her chest. She couldn't do it, it was stronger than her; better not to insist, anyway.

Biting her lower lip in an attempt to fight the tears, she turned her back and left, leaving him behind, alone and defeated. Maybe he couldn't understand, but her heart was breaking for each step taking her away from his apartment. She didn't want any of this to happen, but it was for a greater good. She had suffered enough already; for her, for both of them. She had ruined too many of Mulder's plans. He had a goal, a very clear one… and what did she have, after all?

It was too late. Their situation had to end someday – and that day was now.

However, she hadn't reached the elevator at the hallway's end when she felt him, his claws digging around her arm, paralysing her, in expectation:

"You're wrong!"

Scully almost went mad. She turned to him so violently that, when she realized it, she wasn't stuck at him anymore.

"Mulder, why do you think they made us partners? Everything was just part of a plan to discredit you, to never let you go too far!"

"You are so wrong, Scully! You saved me!" He pressed his hands against her shoulders, searching for her eyes, and didn't let her finish her reasoning. "No matter how hard things have been through these past five years, it were your rationalism and your science that saved me a thousand times. You kept me honest, you kept me alive… I owe you everything, Scully, and you owe me nothing!"

She tried to look the other way once again, but this time she wasn't able to. Her vision was blurred by the tears and she bit her lip. Why did he have to choose this moment to such words?

Mulder lowered his head towards hers. She had to try hard to hear him whisper:

"I don't know if I want to carry on without you. I don't even know if I can carry on without you! But I know I can't give up… if I quit now, they win!"

They stared at each other in silence. Their usually light-coloured eyes seemed black in the darkness of the hallway. Without wanting to move away from his sad face, Scully smiled, as a thank you for the honest speech, and lifted on tiptoe to kiss him on his forehead.

For instants, Mulder wasn't able to answer back. Without further reaction, he just kept on staring at her, with a glimpse of sorrow dancing on his eyes. And suddenly he brought her towards him, slightly caressing the warm skin of his partner's neck and face. Although hesitant at the beginning, she got carried away by the moment and held his body against hers. She knew what was coming up next…

His hands stopped at her cheeks and he pulled her closer. Her breath became faster once she felt their lips touching and she anxiously waited for something to break them apart. But nothing happened. Mulder kissed her with all the tenderness he could offer, his arms squeezed her as if he didn't want her to ever leave, and the kiss tasted like the tears she couldn't hide any longer.

She pressed her lips against his. She had been waiting for this for so long… but now it was so late...

"No…"

Scully moved away. How could she face him after what had just happened?

"Please," he begged in a murmur.

With a deep breath, Scully turned her back at him and followed the path he had interrupted. She didn't want to look behind her, but it became impossible to avoid it once she entered the elevator. Mulder, now her former FBI partner, was standing like petrified in the middle of the hallway, still with that hurt expression haunting his face. But she couldn't change it – she wasn't able to do it anymore.

"I am so sorry!"

Her last words sounded like a sob.

TBC