500 words.
Author: mari6s.
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica 2003.
Ship: Kara & Lee.
Song: « Regarde-nous » (Look at us) by Emma Daumas.
Disclaimer : I'm borrowing two characters from the Battlestar Galactica universe for a few minutes, but don't worry, I'll give them back in good condition. The song is property of Emma Daumas, a French singer.
Note: I wrote this fic in French and then translated it into English. The hardest part was translating the song words – they might sound a little bit weird, but it's kind of the same in French.
Qu'est-ce qui fait de moi tes peurs et ton repère What is making me your fears and reference point
Quand la nuit persiste obstinément ?
When the night obstinately persists?
In the darkness of space, under enemy fire, Kara was the one he'd look around for, she who swore she wasn't afraid of death. He was afraid of her. Afraid of losing her – he had lost count of the times when he thought he'd lost her, and a little voice was whispering to him that he would, eventually.
Qu'est-ce qui fait de moi ce que je n'ose pas faire What is making me what I don't dare do
Quand je m'invente à contre-courant ?
When I invent myself against the current
But also afraid of Kara's reaction, if he dared to try his luck. On the rare occasions when he had made a move towards her, she had hastened to send him back on the ropes. Abruptly.
Mais regarde-nous, on se perd on se retrouve But look at us, we lose and find each other again
A s'y méprendre, on se ressemble.
It's hard to tell the two of us apart.
This little game had been going on for years. They'd get closer to each other until Lee thought he could almost touch her – and sometimes, he was convinced she believed it too – and then something would come between them, once again. Maybe they were too much alike, both as frakked-up as each other, with their frakking defense mechanisms…
Mais regarde en nous, on s'épuise on se rend fous But look inside us, we're exhausting and maddening each other
On se défend contre l'absence et le vide en nous.
Defending ourselves against the absence and the void inside us
And this void that nothing seemed able to fill. For some time, Lee had thought that Zack's absence had brought them together. But it was deeper than that. They didn't deal with it the same way: Lee had to find causes to stand up for, and Kara needed to screw things up. He created and she destroyed. But in the end, that void was a part of them.
Qu'est-ce qui fait de toi la fumée qui me gêne What is making you the smoke that's bothering me
On connaît bien l'art de la dérive…
We're pretty good at drifting apart…
Often, though, she was also like a deadweight he had to drag along. He did so more or less willingly, and sometimes he had enough of his own problems. It was strange to see such a talented pilot, who always stayed the course in her Viper, drift away as soon as her feet touched the ground…
Qu'est-ce qui fait de toi dans chacun de mes gènes What is making you in every one of my genes
L'essentiel dans tout ce qui m'arrive ?
The most important thing in all that happens to me?
And yet, she was a reference point for Lee. She had been there for most of the important events in his life, since he had met her. And when she was not by his side, he felt like something was missing.
Ce délicieux supplice de se cacher au fond de sa cage This delightful torture to hide inside our cage
On se fuit, on survit, il serait temps de tourner la page
We run from each other, we survive, it would be about time to move on
They both had tried to move on. But in the end, they had only been hiding, lying to themselves, running from each other. And hurting Dee and Sam along the way… They could survive one without the other. But once you've had a taste of the shiver they felt by each other's side, surviving just can't be enough.
