Disclaimer: Sure right, I'm Tolkien, and the man died what…..many…..way many years ago. Bottom line, I do not own the characters or places.
Notes: I've never read the actually books (I'm thinking of attempting over the summer) and I just got the trilogy on DVD this past Christmas. So far I've watched the first two. I did see the series a short while after they came out but I was younger then and couldn't appreciate nor understand it at the time.
After watching FOTR, I had an idea for this story and finally got some time to write and upload this. This is my first LOTR fanfic. =D Never before had I written one. Strangely I had a hard time naming this fic.
Time setting: Movie Verse- LOTR: Fellowship of the ring. Set after the group is welcome in the Lothlórien and just before Frodo talks to the Lady of the Woods. I guess it could be a little AU as well.
Summary: Gandalf has fallen into shadow and the Fellowship grieves his passing. However Frodo goes into shock and takes longer to get to the grief he feels. Will the ring of power use his grief against him or will another member of the Fellowship be able to help him?
Even though he and everyone else were running he still felt the heat from his back. The heat was intense. He remembered that much.
You shall not pass!!!
He turned to see Gandalf taking on the demon seeming made from the very fires of the underworld. He cried out the wizard's name rushing forward intent on getting to his side, not thinking about the danger before him, but was held back. He struggled in the grasp; his only thought was to get to his friend.
You shall not pass!!!
And the Balrog did not, as the stone cracked taking the ancient demon with it. He momentarily breathed easily but it was short lived. A fire whip came up from the depths below capturing Gandalf's leg. He struggled losing his balance only to fall down. The Grey wizard hanged off the stone.
Gandalf met his eyes briefly. Fly you fools!
Then he slipped. He called out Gandalf's name once more struggling in the grip that held him at bay. He was picked up near effortlessly and carried out…..
Frodo sat up quickly drawing in a breath. He glanced around wildly trying to gather his bearings. Where was he? He looked up to see Merry, Pippen and Sam all sleeping contently.
Lothlórien….
It was coming back to him. The Lady of the Woods had allowed the Fellowship to rest in her forest for the night. The elves claimed that the forest made one peaceful and soothe their troubles but he did not feel its effect. All he felt was sorrow….
And guilt.
Perhaps some anger as well.
Quietly as not to disturb his sleeping friends he slipped off. He had no idea where he was going; he was just going. Gandalf was gone, lost to the shadows of Moria.
And it was his fault.
He was the one that picked the route of Moria when the Grey Wizards decided to let him choose. How was he supposed to know about the Balrog? About the true dangers of the mine? Frodo just wanted to get off the mountain. He should have picked something else.
If only he had picked something else, Gandalf might would still be alive. As it was, he was gone.
And it was all his fault.
This thought crushed Frodo and he reached out to steady himself, his palm coming to rest against the nearest tree. When they had exited the mines of Moria, Frodo had continued to walk on. He had no destination, wasn't even aware that the others weren't following him, He just walked. Frodo had slipped into shock. The rest of the Fellowship was expressing their grief in one way or another but he was oblivious to it.
Until this moment.
Before it was Aragorn's call that snapped him out of his wanderings; out of the Fellowship he was the only one that had not dealt with his grief.
Until now.
Frodo pressed his back to the bark of the tree and slid down, his shoulders heaving. Today they lost a dear friend, because of his random misinformed suggestion. He should have picked something else.
Anything else.
A golden gleam caught his eye.
The ring of power around his neck.
He picked it up and looked at it. His blue eyes for a moment harbored rage. It was this small near insignificant thing that started this whole mess. It held much fault as he did. He yanked the chain off his neck and held the ring in his fist. Frodo felt the ring call to him encouraging his growing rage.
"Frodo?" came a strong yet soft voice.
Frodo snapped out of it, his rage easing. He blinked.
"Frodo are you alright?" Aragorn stepped into view peaking around the tree Frodo was sitting at the base of.
Frodo didn't look up. "I'm sorry. Did I wake you?" he asked instead. He heard a rustle and knew that the Ranger took a seat next to him. Aragorn leaned on the tree looking up at the canopy of leaves overhead.
"You did not answer my question, Frodo", Aragorn pointed out.
Frodo glanced at Aragorn. "I'm fine", he stated quietly.
"No you are not', Aragorn countered softly.
There was a moment of silence before it was broken by Frodo's soft sigh. "I miss Gandalf."
"We all do."
"This I know, but……" the hobbit trailed off.
"But?" Frodo shook his head and did not answer Aragorn's prompt.
"Frodo you cannot hide nor hold this grief to yourself. It is not wise." Aragorn turned slightly to study the young hobbit's profile. He studied him and saw his downcast eyes, his curly brown hair hiding his expression. He saw the familiar chain sticking out of Frodo's fist and knew he clutching the ring in his hand.
Aragorn was worried.
Had been since Gandalf's fall to the shadows.
Frodo had been quiet, too quiet.
Quieter than normal.
Aragorn had seen the shock in Frodo's eyes when he called him back from his wanderings. That shock was beginning to wear off and only a matter of time before Frodo fell to grief. That was why Aragorn had been watching Frodo like a hawk.
He was worried that the ring would use this opportunity to snare Frodo in his grief. And they had come too far for him to allow that to happen.
Aragorn had slept rather light occasionally checking on Frodo. At one point he heard the light moaning. To any other they would not have caught it but to Aragorn's honed ears he did. Aragorn watched inconspicuously, as Frodo awoke then quietly slipped off into the forest. He waited a few seconds before he pulled back his own covers and quietly followed Frodo.
So here he was sitting with the young hobbit, hoping to Valar he could help him.
"Frodo, please talk me. I cannot help you if you do not talk to me or anyone for that matter", Aragorn pleaded softly. Gandalf had left the group especially young Frodo in his care and he would not fail their fallen friend now. He would honor the lost wizard's last wish.
It was a few moments later but Frodo finally looked up. His face held the same blue eyed wide sorrowful glaze that he had projected back when they exited the mines of Moria. It hurt Aragorn to see Frodo this way. The hobbits were normally cheerful from what he had witness but Frodo seemed to stray from that cheerfulness as each day passed. Aragorn did not want sorrow to overcome any of them for that matter.
Frodo lowered his glaze. "It's my fault", he murmured.
Aragorn took a moment to process this. "I beg your pardon?" He couldn't have heard him right. How could it be Frodo's fault? How could he even harbor such a heavy thought?
"It's my fault", Frodo repeated his voice a little more firm as he looked up. Aragorn could see the self-loathing already building in his eyes.
"Frodo, no", Aragorn shook his head, protesting. Frodo claimed his entire attention, "How could you arrive at such a conclusion?"
"Who else's would it be?" Frodo asked clutching the ring tighter in his hand. This was making Aragorn's worry spike up a notch as Frodo continued, "I was the one that picked the path of Moria. I was the one that doomed Gandalf."
"Frodo, none of us could have known. Either we all share the blame or there can be none at all", Aragorn stated fiercely.
Frodo shook his head, "You are not hearing me, Strider", he spoke softly, "When everyone was arguing which way to go, Gandalf allowed me to choose and I choose Moria. I choose Gandalf's death. He is dead because of my decisions."
"This is madness, Frodo. None of us could have known", Aragorn argued.
"I should have….." Frodo trailed off lowering his head.
"We should have, if we are going to place blame, which there is none. Are you hearing me, Frodo?" Aragorn leaned forward placing himself squarely in front of the hobbit. He placed his hands on his shoulders looking at Frodo's downcast form. Strider's glaze travelled to the hand still clutching the ring. It's the ring that was amplifying Frodo's grief making him believe these silly thoughts. But he would get to this young hobbit if it took all night and well into that next day. He would not give up.
"Frodo", Aragorn placed his hands over the latter's closed fist. Slowly he opened the hand and revealed the ring that nested within it. Ignoring the soft call of the ring, focused on only helping Frodo, nothing more, he took the chain from whence it hung and placed it around Frodo's neck; then he tucked it away from view.
Frodo blinked as Aragorn replaced his hands on his shoulder and shook him slightly. "Frodo, look at me", he commanded softly.
When Frodo did not do as he commanded, Aragorn repeated himself. It was a moment later but Frodo looked up at him.
"It is not your fault", Aragorn pronounced lightly though full of conviction. "No one here blames you. What happened was tragic, but it is no one's fault. If any, is to be passed out, it would be to the Balrog, or even Sauron who forced the quest to become necessary. But you, my dear friend, do not harbor any blame and therefore should hold no guilt for it is unnecessary. All we can do now is continue our chosen path and honor Gandalf's wishes for he would not want to see you wallow like this. Accomplished what Gandalf wanted to happen on this mission. Accomplish what he would have wanted in his memory. Honor him by destroying this ring so that his death is not in vain. The Fellowship will help you on this quest for this is what we agreed to do. Frodo, are you hearing me now? It is not your fault. Be at peace, my friend for no one here even thinks of blaming you."
Frodo swallowed as his eyes darted around. Then he lowered his glaze in a shy manner; as a child expecting punishment. "No one is angry with me?"
Aragorn shook his head. "It had not across anyone's mind. Be still Frodo and accept what cannot be change, what had long since passed, no matter how any of us wish it had not. The future has not been decided and is within our grasp to change. Focus on that Frodo. Do not let your grief consume you now. Do not allow the ring to taunt you with your grief for it is doing so. This is can see."
Tears gathered in Frodo's eyes from Aragorn's words. He blinked rapidly hoping to keep them at bay. Finally collecting himself, he looked up with a watery smile, "Thank you Aragorn."
Aragorn was right. He needed to focus on the mission; to honor Gandalf's memory. He could to this.
Aragorn studied him a moment, obviously searching for what could ease his worry. When he finally found it, he nodded and released Frodo's shoulders smiling gently. "No thanks are required, my friend."
Frodo realized that somehow they would get through this. He wasn't alone. The future was still theirs to change.
Fin.
A.N: Since this was my first LOTR fanfic, I hope they were somewhat in character. Hope it was enjoyable at least.
