Disclaimer
Shocking as it may be, I don't own Harry Potter. That masterpiece of a series belongs to J.K. Rowling.
Only So Much
It's not that he had never seen her. No, he just never cared. She was just there. She never meant anything. She was a crying shoulder, a small and steady light in a world that wavered with each passing second. An ear when all he needed was someone to listen. She was living breathing advice, beating, pulsing comfort. She was a friend, never anything more, never anything less.
It was wrong, it seemed, for her to be anything more than that. It was right, it seemed, for her to just exist, for her to fade away into the background of his storybook life. He was great, noble, considered a hero by most, and she, she was different, unusual, mystical in a way that rendered her insignificant, nothing more than the shadow who tries to move from the side of he who cast it.
If ever there were reason for her to become more than just a friend, he would push it aside, for it wouldn't matter anymore. Besides that, what would people think if he allowed such an occasion to arise? No matter, he wouldn't care. He shouldn't care. He didn't care. She was nothing, nothing more than a friend. . .right?
-;-'
It's not that she had never seen it. No, she just ignored it. It was impossible. It shouldn't even exist. It was one of those impossible feelings that one must shove aside merely because of reason. It was one of those impossible feelings that was just that, impossible to get rid of.
She had to be reasonable. She had to think. What would he think? What would he say? What would happen to the relationship they did have if he were to know what she truly felt? What would he do if he could see that impossible feeling she was so desperately trying to bury? She couldn't bear to think of losing that friendship, of losing him.
It was simply unthinkable, this feeling. He was great, noble, considered a hero by most, and she, she was. . .going totally insane, even more than usual, she supposed. She hated what he thought of her. She hated what others thought of him. Others saw him for what he wasn't, she saw him for who he really was, and to her, that mattered more than anything. It should matter to him.
No matter, as long as he continued to be him, even through the pressure, the. . .fame, she would care not. As long as he continued to be happy with someone else, as long as he continued to smile when someone shook his hand she wouldn't care. She shouldn't care. She didn't care. He was nothing, nothing more than a friend. . .right?
-;-'
It was cold. Freezing cold. It was not cold enough, however, to keep Harry Potter from his perch in the window. He sat with one hand in his lap, and the other placed lightly against the cool glass pane. His fingertips white from the cold, but he didn't care.
He had seen all this before. It was the same view he had been gazing out on for the past month. Nothing was new, nothing was different. It was all the same. That bothered him. It had been to long since anything had happened, and that bothered him.
He stood slowly from the window, careful not to make any sound. This was one midnight stroll he would take without Ronald Weasley by his side. He needed to be alone, but most of all, he needed a new view.
Pulling on his Invisibility Cloak, Harry slipped out of the Gryffindor Common Room, bare feet stepping lightly onto the cold floors. He took off in one direction, the turned to go the other way. Perhaps he would try a new corridor today. Perhaps he would find a window no one else had even seen before. An adventure, since he didn't seem to have enough of those in his life.
After what felt like hours of wandering the corridors, constantly checking his map, and skirting quickly out of the way of Peeves, or Mrs. Norris, Harry had found a staircase he'd never been up before. He almost ran up the curving steps, pausing only to look at an ornate statue of a raven before he found himself in a wide dome.
Just what he had wanted, windows. The room was cold, he could see his breath rising in clouds before him, but it didn't matter. He was standing in a dome made completely of windows. Hogwarts in its entirety could be seen, and Harry absolutely loved it.
He let his cloak fall off of his shoulders as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. As the cloak hit the ground, a light gasp broke the silence. Harry jumped and looked for the source of the sound, finding a very familiar blonde sitting against one of the windows, staring at him with wide eyes.
"Luna?" Harry breathed a sigh of relief, only slightly perturbed by the fact that he wasn't alone.
"You scared me, Harry." Luna's dreamy voice calmed Harry instantly; there was no need to be perturbed at all. "I thought maybe you were a Nargle. The castle is full of mistle. . ."
"I'm not." Harry interrupted, walking in slow circles around the dome.
"I'm glad." Harry stopped his circling, choosing to look at Luna instead. She was wearing pajamas, a look he hadn't seen on her yet. He smiled lightly, a sad smile, but it was a smile nonetheless. She deserved it; after all she'd done for him.
His smile was all she needed. Having him appear out of nowhere was enough to make her heart stop, but his smile finished her. That impossible feeling wasn't so easy to suppress, now that she thought about it. Maybe I should stop thinking about it, then. She mentally chided herself, trying her hardest to supply an innocent smile in return.
She scooted a few inches back, giving him room to sit down if he wished. Her smile became genuine as he settled down in front of her, nodding to her before looking out the window, a thoughtful look on his face. That was ok with her. He could sit anywhere in this room and it wouldn't be too close. He could look anywhere in this room and it wouldn't be too far.
As she looked away, he looked in. She was such easy company, she always had been. He had never thought anything of it. When he left his common room, he had wanted nothing more than to be alone, and to see something different, but now that he sat next to Luna Lovegood, he really didn't mind. All numbers aside, her glow-in-the-dark sheep pajamas certainly were a 'different' view.
"Are you happy?" Harry jumped, he hadn't noticed that Luna was no longer looking out the window until she had spoken, she had since taken up staring at Harry with those eyes that seemed to look much farther past his outward appearance. She had seen through him again. Was he happy? "I don't think you are."
"What gives you that idea?" His tone was that of almost anger and defense, but in all honesty, she was right. He wasn't happy.
"You just seem like you're hiding a lot, you know? And hiding things can make someone unhappy." She gave him one of those smiles that told him she knew. She understood. Harry felt shivers run down his spine. "Maybe if you talked to someone, maybe if you cried with someone, you would feel better."
"You're not making any. . ."
"People talk about you." Luna continued without even acknowledging that he had said anything. He really didn't mind. "People talk about you when you can't see or hear them, that's hard. I know. Do you mind? It's simple really, but. . ."
"Luna!" Harry put his hand over her mouth and Luna stared at him, still calm, as if she had been expecting him to do this the whole time, waiting. Harry pulled his hand away quickly, looking away as his cheeks turned a warm shade of red. Yes, she had been waiting. How could he not have seen that?
He looked back at her. Their eyes met and she made certain to hold his gaze. He could see it then, it was just so impossible to hide. She leaned in closer and Harry found that he couldn't back up, not because he was physically restrained, but because he didn't want to.
"I understand you." She whispered lightly. He couldn't help but think that this was very unlike Luna.
"More than most, yes." His voice shook, his hands shook, his entire body shook. When their lips finally did meet, Harry felt as if every inch of him were set on vibrate, but it felt so good. When their lips met Harry didn't pull away, he didn't restrain, he just let himself fall into her, as if this was what he had left for. He actually felt surprised when the contact was suddenly terminated. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't ha. . ."
"I really didn't mind." He whispered, pulling her back to him.
"But aren't you. . ." She pulled away again, but was stopped as Harry continued what she had started. "What if. . ." She couldn't seem to get a full sentence out, honestly, she didn't mind either.
"If we do this for to long. . . .we might. . .be attacked. . .by. . ." Harry laughed lightly into her mouth. Perfect. Just perfect. This was so different. Who cares what everyone would think, he wouldn't even really care if they were attacked by whatever creature Luna had been thinking of, as long as he had this moment.
Shadow was no longer shadow. She was much more than just a friend. And surprising though it may be, she was just fine with that.
Just fine with being so much more.
End
A/N- Ode to Corny One-Shot Fanfics, I'm such a sucker. My friends are going to LAUGH if they ever see this. I'm not a romance writer, nor should I ever become one. Sheesh. Anyway, despite it's 'corniness' I hope you liked it. I've been a total HP/LL shipper since the fifth book came out. Luna is my pen and paper TWIN as far as personality goes, that rules. . .Luna you rule. Ok, Read. . .Review. . .anything. Enjoy most of all.
Also, it's not beta-ed-ed or anything like that, this is just me. . .bored at midnight. So I'm sorry for any errors, I'll read through it a few times and try to fix anything I see. If you could point out anything that would be nice.
