I don't own any part of Kyle XY.
This is my first Kyle XY fic.
Spoilers for "Ghost in the Machine"
I'm too lazy to do my usual heading in bold titled disclaimer and whatnot, so this is all you're getting.
VVVVVVVV
"1"
"2"
"3"
"I like you."
"I have cancer."
"What?"
"What??"
He was shocked when she told him. Cancer. The word tasted bitter in his mouth. After they were all home safe, she told him to forget about it, and whenever he felt like talking about it to bite his tongue.
The problem was, he wanted to talk about it. He wanted to find out how much longer he had with her. As for forgetting; he cared too much to just forget.
In the coming months, he watched her waste away, but he refused to break the silent promise that he had with her. She got thinner and thinner until she was practically a walking skeleton wearing gypsy skirts, vests and knit caps. She couldn't run around like she used to, she'd get out of breath too easily and have to sit down.
He wondered how everyone else continued to believe that there was nothing seriously wrong. She passed it off as a bag flu bug she just couldn't shake, but he knew better.
The day finally came where she couldn't hide it anymore. His cell phone rang and he picked it up. He began to panic when he heard a tear filled voice on the other end of the line.
"Josh?" It was Andy's mom
"Yeah?"
"It's Andy. She's in the hospital. The doctors say that she has a few days left to live, maybe a week."
He froze, the words hitting him like a sledgehammer
"I'll be right there." He said and ended the call. He was at the hospital in fifteen minutes and at her bedside in less than two after that.
Josh pulled up one of the uncomfortable hospital chairs and sat down by the head of her bed, the instruments measuring her vital signs nearly hit him in the head.
As he held one of her hands in his own, he silently prayed to a God he didn't even know if he believed in that somehow, some way she would be alright.
"Hi Josh." Andy said as she turned to look at him. Her voice was tired and strained and her bony fingers were ice cold. The smile he loved to see was gone, replaced by a knowing look of peace and ultimate defeat.
"How are you feeling?" He asked. Stupid question, but he couldn't think of anything else to say
"Like shit." She replied in the tone of voice he remembered and they both smiled. Hers was a gentle smile, like that of a grandmother
"I'm dying, Josh." Andy's voice sounded weak; so far from the energetic girl he once knew and fell in love with.
Flashback
"I like you too Josh, but if your feelings changed because I'm…damaged, if you don't like me anymore because I have cancer, if you don't want to get attached because I won't be around much longer, I understand."
They stood facing each other about two feet apart, hands at their sides on the sidewalk underneath a tree at the local park.
"Are you kidding me?" Josh asked as he took one step closer to her
"This just makes me want to enjoy every moment we have together."
She smiled and took his hand and they walked back to their neighborhood, parting in front of the Jensen house. Josh leaned in awkwardly and kissed her lightly before pulling back to see her blush a faint rosy pink.
"I'll talk to you later, Josh." She smiled and ran up the steps to her house. She waved as she closed the door behind her.
End Flashback
Josh recalled this memory in an instant as he compared the girl he knew then to the girl in front of him.
"That's why I'm here, Andy. I know you're dying, but damn it, I'm going to hold on until the very end." He raised her cold hand to his lips and gently pressed a kiss to it.
For the next four days, Josh didn't leave her side except to use the restroom and get food.
The entire time, they were reliving happy memories from the past. Faint laughter could usually be heard from the hospital room as they talked about Thanksgiving dinner, their first date and other anecdotes that never failed to bring momentary joy to the darkness.
The morning of the fifth days, an ominous feeling hung in the air. Josh could feel it in his skin, and was certain that if Kyle had been there, he would have been able to feel death in the room as well.
Andy opened her eyes from sleep, but could only get them to slit halfway apart.
"Josh?" She asked, her voice fainter than he had ever heard it.
"I'm here, Andy."
"Where's my mom?"
"She had to work. She feels like shit about not being able to be here." Josh replied and gently rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb.
"This is it Josh, I can feel it. I want you to remember a few things for our friends."
"Okay." He didn't even bother with the traditional 'Don't talk like that, you'll be fine' speech.
"Tell my mom I love her. Tell Jessi to be less of a psycho. Tell Kyle to keep being weird…"
"Andy?"
"One last thing. I love you Josh." She squeezed his hand tighter
"I love you too, Andy." He kissed her lips and she smiled before her eyes slipped shut and her head fell to the side. The monitor screamed a final note. Josh couldn't help himself. He had been strong all the way to the end for Andy, but in that moment he laid his forehead on her hand and let the tears fall down.
He cried at her funeral and no one mocked him for it. He gave a short speech telling the small crowd of her love for the world and her desire for peace.
He watched as the casket was lowered into the ground, then he walked off across the cemetery to confront himself. He looked off the ridge and wondered to himself why graveyards always had the best view.
The sun beat down on his back through his black suit, but he didn't care. He lost his faith that there was a God somewhere, reasoning that if he was as good as everyone said, he couldn't have let this happen.
That night he dreamed that Andy was talking to him, telling him not to be afraid or angry and that eventually he would have to move on. He woke up with tears running down his face and a feeling that his world would never be right again.
A/N: Forgive me, I'm new to this fandom, the only episode I have ever seen in its entirety is the one that was on four hours ago, so forgive any mistakes I made with the canon.
I cried while writing this. I've never done that before.
