THE SHINIGAMI'S SISTER CAN'T BE THIS CUTE

CHAPTER ONE: ERO-GIRL

KLK: Welcome, to my newest story in the KoP saga. My first story using Ichigo Kurosaki as the character the story revolves around. Anyway, the story is. . . the KoPs have been given a mission to check out if the soul of a Namae no Nai has been found in the body of Kirino Kousaka. Ichigo is told to keep the girl in check, so he takes over the body of the girl's older brother, Kyosuke. One day, when he finds a DVD for a child's anime and opens it up to find a younger-sister-older-brother hentai game, he realizes that he has opened a world of drama for his so-called little sister and he.

Kiactu: The pairings are -

Ichigo/harem.

The harem includes: Kirino Kousaka, Ayase Aragaki, Manami Tamura, Saori Bajeena, Kuroneko, and more. Oh, and KoP Leader Kiactu does not own Ore no Imouto nor Bleach.

CHAPTER START

It was another day in the Kousaka household. Kirino Kousaka sat on the sofa, talking to her friend on the phone as her brother Kyosuke entered the house from school. The older boy headed into the kitchen to fix himself something to drink while his sister chatted it up on the phone. Kyosuke sighed as the sour-like sweetness of the orange juice traveled down his throat.

Kyosuke was a sophomore in high school, getting out in two years. He had orange hair that spiked in all directions that was lighter than the women in his family, which shocked his mother and father as he was born. There was never a gene in their families with that color of hair, but they loved him just the same. Well, he was sure that his mother loved him. His father was a strict policeman who wanted nothing but order in this house. Order that Kyosuke never really cared for.

Kyosuke had a secret that nobody in his family knew about. Secretly, he was Ichigo Kurosaki, a Soul Reaper sent by his KoP teammates to investigate the rumors of a reincarnated Namae no Nai. The other KoPs were all stationed within the town, going to the same school as the boy.

Anyway, "Kyosuke" walked up to his room, intent on getting some shut-eye when he suddenly realized that he had forgotten something. "Ahhh, shit," he said to himself. "I forgot to put the OJ back in the fridge!" He ran out of his room at top speed, just to run into Kirino as she was going out. "Watch where you're going!" she yelled at the boy. "Maybe you should've watched where you were going, brat," Ichigo said in retaliation. The two haven't really gotten along ever since Kirino hit ten.

Ichigo looked down to find that something had landed on the floor next to his foot. "Hmmm, Hoshikuzu Witch Merle?" he asked. "What the fuck is a children's anime doing in this house?" He picked it up and was about to take it upstairs when his mother suddenly appeared. "Ah! Kyosuke-kun?" his somewhat adoptive mother said as she watched him curled up in what appeared to be a fetal position. Son of a bitch, he silently cursed.

"Um. . . I was just practicing what Kiactu taught me," he said nervously. "You know," his mother deadpanned. "I was just talking with someone about a special student counseling that's just become popular. Maybe you and Kiactu can go get seen about." Elsewhere, Kiactu started to get mad. "Why the hell do I want to beat up on Ichigo now?" he asked.

Ichigo just realized how hard his predicament would be when Kirino found out, though for some reason, Ichigo didn't really care. "I think I studied a little too hard," he said, still holding that position. "Well, that's obviously a lie," the woman in front of him said. "I mean, your childhood friend, who is at the top of the class, is your tutor, right?" Ichigo sighed. "Yeah," he let out. "Kyosuke," his mother called out, "please do not read a hentai in front of the door." Ichigo sighed. This is even worse than embarrassing. At least she didn't ask about what I was reading.

Ichigo was now on his bed, too embarrassed to even come out of his room. "Goddam mission," he growled to himself. "Who even thought that a Namae no Nai would come to a world like this? And who would even watch something like this?" Inside the case was an hentai game called Let's Love With Little Sister. That was when all of a sudden, the light covering on the ceiling opened up. "Nani?" Ichigo asked as Kiactu, Naruto, Percy, and Sora appeared. "Yo," Kiactu said. "We just decided to drop in. Where did you get the hentai?"

"It's not mine," Ichigo defended himself. "Yeah, sure," Kiactu mocked, rolling his eyes. "I'm pretty sure your can't-decipher-work-from-home dad has a secret stash of porn somewhere." Naruto snickered out loud, causing the orange-haired Soul Reaper to glare at him. "What is it, Demon Brat?" he growled. But, somewhere in his mind, he was thinking of a situation with Yuzu and Karin having something like this, as well as Kirino.

"Hey, Ichigo," Kiactu called with a serious tone. "What's with you not liking Kirino?" The Shinigami looked towards the boy. "It's just that. . . she's too popular for her own good. What is she going to do when the world just flashes in her eyes?" Kiactu stared at the boy.

"We protect her and the family," Kiactu answered. "It's what we do in the KoPs. You can't be single-minded that she will get in trouble." After giving that statement, Kiactu closed his eyes, though none of them could see it. "What if she gets raped?" Ichigo asked. "What if something happens that leaves her paralyzed from the waist down?" Kiactu opened one eye. "You can do something about it. After all, you are a Soul Reaper." That was when Kyosuke's mother popped in on them. (AN: Reference to a depressing fic about Karin getting raped by an older student, though the kid isn't as old as Ichigo. The author just left it hanging when Karin tells and tries to run away, only for the kid to find her and I think he's about to kill her. Don't worry, Ichigo knows who the kid is anyway.)

"Ara?" she asked. "Kiactu-kun? Naruto-kun? Percy-kun? Sora-kun? When did you all get here?" The four mentioned tried to make up an excuse when she noticed Ichigo's light fixture was messed up. "Oh," she called out. "You should at least come in the front door. It's a lot safer." Kiactu looked at her weirdly. "Safe? Life's not safe without a little danger!" he yelled in excitement. The woman sighed. "At least fix his lights when you leave," she answered.

"Sure thing, Kousaka-kaa-san," Kiactu said. The woman left a few minutes afterward before Kiactu turned his attention back to Ichigo and became serious, yet again. "Find out who owns that disk. I smell the scent of a Namae no Nai over it." With that, he jumped up through the space. "Just so you know," Percy called back to the Shinigami. "It's always the person who looks guilty. Though, I wouldn't really pin the blame on your father nor mother."

As Ichigo went down the steps for dinner, he noticed that Kirino was on the ground, looking for something. To be honest, she looked like a little kitten that lost something. "What are you looking for?" he asked, trying to help the girl. "Why do you want to know?" she yelled at him. "And I was just trying to help," Ichigo sweatdropped. "Whatever."

That night, at the dinner table, as Kirino's asshole of a dad and mother. That was when Ichigo began to hatch his plan to see whose movie that was. "Hey," he said. "Kiactu's gotten himself into this kiddie anime phase. Something about a Starlight Witch something or another."

"That boy finally got out of his Chlorine or Fishcake phase and into an even worse one?" his father asked. See what I mean? Asshole. "It's Bleach and Naruto, Father," Ichigo deadpanned. Ichigo never saw eye to eye with the father over certain reasons: one, he was a complete dominatrix, and two, he was straighter than a straight line. So, that obviously rules off Mr. Kousaka, Mrs. Kousaka doesn't look jittery at all, but what about. . .

Kirino was quiet, not even saying a word. "Anyway, thanks for the dinner," Ichigo said, walking away from the table. A few hours later, after he had taken a shower, Ichigo had a towel around his head and was still rubbing the moisture out when he noticed that someone was in his room. He took his fullbring out of his back pocket, about to activate it when he opened his door to find Kirino with her ass in the air. "What the hell, Kirino?" he asked, turning his head away from the girl's rather shapely derriere. "If you wanted the disc back, all you could've done was ask!"

"It's not mine!" she yelled. "I just found it on the street!" Ichigo looked towards the trash can. "If it's not yours, than you won't mind me throwing it away, right?" he asked. The girl's eyes widened for a minute, before she quickly looked away. "I don't care," she said. She didn't notice that Ichigo had thrown it towards her, until he said, "I have no use for it. Keep it, throw it away. Hell, give it to Kiactu for all I care."

She caught it before walking out, but not before asking Ichigo a question. "Do. . . do you think it's strange?" Ichigo had to think about it before deadpanning. "Of course not," he said to her. She turned to look at him with a questioning look. "I have a best friend who can speak to any animal and it trust him. Of course I'm not going to judge that you watch porn." He scratched his chin as a blush came onto his face. "Because. . . I will admit that there are things that I watch as well. (AN: Yeah, Orihime's boobs jumping from side to side every time she tries to run - . - Though I have to admit, I would watch those too. Plus, Rangiku flashed him, though he didn't really look. Just took a peek.) Plus, I never make fun of anybody, unless unintentionally."

"I. . . see," she said, turning away. Ichigo turned his back, waving his hand when all of a sudden, the girl grabbed a finger. "Hn?" he asked, looking at the girl over his shoulders. "Are. . . you really serious?" Ichigo smiled and nodded his head. The girl reminded him of a mixture between Karin and Yuzu: serious one minute and playful the next. "Well," Ichigo said, "since you told me your secret, it's only fair that I show you mine." He then pulled out his Substitute Shinigami badge before putting it close to his chest. In a flash of light that Kirino covered her eyes in, Ichigo's fullbring armor formed over his body.

Kirino stared at the boy in front of her. No longer was her dopey, high-school brother in front of her, but a young man with orange hair a deeper shade than hers, hard brown eyes that stared back at her, and some kind of skeletal armor over his body that extended up to his face like bandages on both cheeks. "This is my fullbring," he explained. "When a human has Shinigami blood in their genealogy, they are sometimes given powers that rival that of real Shinigami called fullbring. My fullbring is this armor you see now and my katana, which forms out of the badge you saw me use." He then pulled the hilt that appeared on his badge, drawing a long black blade. "I haven't really given it a name, because I just need it to jumpstart my real powers.

"Anyway, good night, Kirino," Ichigo said, reverting back to his normal self. He then drifted off to sleep, dreaming of when he had his powers last. He closed his eyes for shut eye. Into the night, he was woken abruptly by someone climbing onto his body. When he opened his eyes, his little sister was straddling him. When he tried to close his eyes again, she bitch-slapped him. "What the hell, Kirino?" he yelled, holding onto his cheek. "Shut up, baka!" she yelled back. "Do you know what time it is?"

"Time for you to be a good girl and go back to bed?" Ichigo asked. "Owww, that really hurt! Now I know how a pervert feels around you!" Kirino blushed. "This. . . is the only chance I have," she told him, biting on her finger. "I want you to come into my room." Ichigo's eyes shot out and he tried to keep his heart in check. "Oh, gods," he breathed. "You aren't talking about. . ."

"No. No, not that!" she quietly whispered. "You're my brother!" Ichigo raised his hand. "Technically, I'm just using your brother's body. I'm not your real brother. But still, it's like if you were messing around and got pregnant by your brother." But, he still followed the girl. They both entered the room, Kirino inhaling deeply before exhaling in a cute chibi fashion. "I need advice about this," she asked of Ichigo. The Shinigami then leaned back on the bookcase, trying to catch his breath.

"I've never given advice before," he said. He had noticed that his prop began to move before picking it up and moving it himself. Inside the hidden compartment was thousands of incestual doujin, mostly about little sisters. "Well," Ichigo said, rubbing his eyes. "It's official, you're more of a hentai than Kiactu."

"I should really tone it down on little sisters before I end up an even bigger pervert than he is," Kirino dissed on the boy. "Hey," Ichigo said. "He tries his best to keep his inner pervert in check."

"Okay, THAT'S IT!" could be heard from above before Kiactu dropped Ichigo with pressure. "It'll be a cold day in hell when a young baka like you just decides to call me a pervert!" He stopped when he heard Kirino call his name. "Hey, Kiactu," Kirino asked, "is there a reason why you cover up your eyes?" The boy looked at the girl before responding shakily. "Of. . . of course not! Why would you say anything?"

"Well, for one," she said, getting into the boy's personal space, "you never seem to care to brush it out or style it up." Kiactu sighed before looking her deep into her eyes. "Are you sure you want to see my eyes?" he asked. When he got a nod, he began to reach for a few strands of the hair blocking his face before putting them back. "Would you look at that? Sora seems to be calling."

With that he up and left out the window. Kirino angrily bit into her shirt as she watched the boy leave. Ichigo was quietly recovering and looking at the girl's collection of little sister hentai. "Wow," he said, visions of the girls nude and in indecent positions fresh in his mind. "There is just sooo much porn." He then noticed that she was dancing around with a box in her hand and sweatdropped. She's just too into this, he thought. "Well, I'd better get going. Let's finish this next time, but in smaller doses, okay?"

Somehow he tripped, and she started to get closer. "Ano. . ." she said. "Our session isn't complete yet." She looked extremely cute while doing it (AN: Seriously, the girl gets really cute when she tells her brother to stay), so Ichigo knew that if he fought anymore, the girl would probably begin to cry. "I really have to go, Kirino," he told her, trying to scoot back. "What are you running away for, then?" said girl asked. "I'm not running away," he argued. "I just really got to go to sleep." She surrounded him so that he wouldn't scoot back. "Liar!" she yelled. "You are trying to run away!" How do I tell her to look at the situation without sounding mean, he asked, trying to stay back. She then thrust a game into the boy's face. "When you see a game like this, you think that it's good, right?" she asked. Ichigo gave her a confused look, wondering what this had to do with a game. Woman, I'm pretty sure you're trying to rape me! What the hell does this moment have to do with a game?

"Okay," Ichigo answered. "You really like to Little Sister type games, huh?" She smiled before nodding her head. "I see. . . So that's why you have all of these games?" The girl nodded, her eyes having sparkles in them as she told the Shinigami that she loved the fact that the little girls in the games called her older brother names. Does this NOT say anything to you? Ichigo thought, tilting his head sideways.

"Little sisters should have black hair and ponytails!" Ichigo thought of how she had brown hair. . . "And they should be neat and clean!" . . . And how she crossed her legs while wearing short skirts and talked loudly on the phone. . . "And it makes you want to protect them!" Ichigo wanted to bang his head against the wall for thinking about how his surrogate little sister had straddled him just to wake him up. "Just give them hugs and everything!" Ichigo sighed before wanting to go into the kitchen, find a frying pan, and bash his skull in until he lost consciousness.

"It's just so ADORABLE!" she said, smoke billowing off from her head. Ichigo stood back, wondering if he should have brought a fire extinguisher. "I don't know why, but I have the feeling that this is the thing guys would want to buy?" Ichigo responded, really thinking about it. Kirino turned her attention to the boy. "I mean, in my home dimension, there's this boy named Keigo who seems like a major pervert. So I would expect him to try this."

That was when a thought had crossed his mind. "Wait!" he thought aloud. "How did you get this much money to pay for these games?" Kirini put her index finger in her mouth and thought of a certain someone and her side job. "I'm a model, and Kiactu helps me out when I come up short. No one else really knows about my habits except you, me, and Mr. Mystery Eyes." Ichigo sweatdropped at the name the girl had given Kiactu before noticing that she was dancing around with a eroge game against her petite chest and stars in her eyes.

He zoned out at the fact that she was still talking before he found himself on the floor and with Kirino in his lap with a dejected mood. "But, it's just a matter of time before I'm going to get caught by Tou-san," she said, absentmindedly stroking Ichigo's thigh. The Shinigami laughed at the statement before looking down at the confused girl. "Do you think that Jiji will catch you?" he asked, a smile on his face as tears of laughter rolled down his cheek. "It's not like the end of the world when you find out your daughter is an otaku. What people do and what they choose to believe are two different things. Even the most devout Christian will kill another one, though one of their beliefs is to never kill."

Ichigo smiled as he placed his hand on top of Kirino's head. "I'll fight whoever needs to be fought in order for you to do whatever you want to be," he said with a wink. The girl then had a cute moment and gripped his hand, severely creeping Ichigo out to some degree, though he knew that she was grateful. She closed her eyes and puckered her lips. ". . . Okay. . . " he voiced out. "Could you. . . stop? For someone who 'doesn't' have a crush on her older brother, you sure seem to act differently."

Kirino took offense to that. "WHAT?" she asked. "Stop being so creepy! 2D and 3D are two separate things, so don't make it seem like you want them to merge! Just get out of my room!" She went on to push the boy out, but not before handing him a game to try out.

CHAPTER END

PoTF: That took a few months to actually think up. But I hope you all enjoy it. Took me forever! And I write the things as close to canon as I can by actually reading as I write! Even though I know I skipped some parts, you guys will enjoy them, I assure you.