I began writing this story round September of 08'. Our Honors class had to read Lord Of The Flies and i just decided to make a parody out of it. If it sucks please be honest and tell me. This is my first parody for my Honors English 2 Writing Groups. Later...

Alden seemed like your ordinary kid, but he was far from one. He acted like a happy kid, but deep inside something was swallowing him, decaying him, he wanted to die...His parents had never been proud of him. If he did something good the next time they told him to do it better. They were pushing him away from the brink of life. It all ended a couple of days before summer. On that day his father had called him. " What is it dad?"

"Son, what was your friend doing here?"

"Slate?" Alden asked timidly. "We were playing Rockband."

Alden's dad showed his cold eyes. The boy took this as a sign and slowly stepped out of his father's office. He had survived. As a child Alden had a gay teacher and this led him to believe that it was okay to marry anyone. At the age of six he fake married Slate, but his parents were Christians, they couldn't see that he was just playing around. After reminiscing Alden turned on his Ipod. His door suddenly bursted open. "Dad can't you knock?"

" I told you never to close your door. What were you doing?"

"Nothin' I was just listening to…" he paused, "System Of A Down."

"Son straight people don't listen to that weird Muslim sounding band. Everybody knows that straight people listen to Tickle Me Pink, Disturbed, Atreyu, and Metallica."

"That's just ignorant." Alden said, but deep inside he knew his dad spoke facts.

"Son come with me."

Alden followed his dad into the kitchen where his mother sat. She handed her son a brochure. "Read it Alden."

He did. After he finished he looked at his parents with hatred. "This is a joke right?"

"We are tired of waiting for you to come out of the closet so we're sending you to this camp."

"Oh so you guys want me to turn gay?"

"NO!" his mom said. "We just want you to decide Alden, we're hoping you see homosexuality is disgusting."

"Mom all you're doing is sending me to the mouth of the beast! Your not helping!" He read the back, "What the hell? It's ran by Michael Jackson?"

"Alden you're going to the camp whether you like or not! So go pack your things!" gritted his dad.

The next day Alden was waiting for the bus to take him to his new home. His parents had already left and the only person with him was Slate. "Don't forget to write okay?" he told Slate.

Slate smiled. "Don't worry buddy." he said as he cuddled next to Alden. "I'll write to you everyday."

"You promise?"

"Of course!"

The bus then arrived. Alden stood up. "Well this is it huh? I won't see you till'-" Alden didn't get to finish for Slate unexpectedly shoved his tongue down Alden's throat. The boy pulled away shocked. "Um..."

"I thought you liked me Alden… I mean… I adore you… do you like me Alden?"

"I'm not sure." The bus honked. "This is so unexpected, I- I gotta go Slate." The bus drove off into the distance. Alden took a seat next to a boy with glasses. "Hey what's your name?"

"Walter, yours?"

"The name's Alden."

"So…why are you here Alden?"

"My parents think I'm gay. You?"

"My brother is a counselor in the camp so I'm just visiting for the summer. Hey Alden do you have a girlfriend?"

"Emo's don't get girls…"

"That's not true. Can't you date a girl in your group?"

"Why would I want to date an emo chick?"

"Most of them are hot."

The bus got on the freeway. Alden looked out the window. "I'm not looking for a relationship right now."

Walter looked at Alden's wrists. "What happened there buddy?"

"Nothin' don't worry about it."

"If you have a problem, then talk things out. How come you don't do that?"

"No one's gonna listen. Adults are too self-centered nowadays."

"That's bs."

Alden turned towards his new friend, he wasn't expecting that kind of reaction.

"What do you mean?"

"Adults aren't too self-centered. For your information I have loving parents."

"Well good for you."

After what it seemed like forever the bus practically parked in the middle of nowhere, the camp was surrounded by grandiose mountains. The boys slowly stepped out towards their new home. Adults could be seen holding uo signs. The dou walked up towards a guy holding a sign that said A-F.

"I'm Walter Adran."

"Alden Berret."

The man smiled kindly. "I'm Zachary I teach Honors Pedophile 101. Welcome to SCS Camp."

"What does that stand for?" asked Alden.

"You don't want to know." broke Walter.

"Well if you boys would do me a favor and follow me, I'll give you a quick tour." He led everyone into the camp. "Well this is our theatre and this is the cafeteria. All we serve is hot dogs, milk, cream, cottage cheese,and more cream."

"Basically white stuff?"

"Yes. So this part of the camp is where we have classes such as Pedophile 101, Honors Pedophile 101, AP Pedophile, Zoophiliaology, and AP Homo. And over here is our destination, the office."

The trio entered it together and saw a man getting water from the cooler. "Jabahjayjay?" gasped Walter.

The man looked up, "Walter?" He rushed over and gave his brother a hug.

"This is Jabahjayjay your counselor." Zach said.

"So where's Michael Jackson?" asked Alden.

"He has somekind of trial." Jabahjayjay responded.

Zach waved everyone goodbye. "I hope you guys enjoy staying at SCS Camp!"

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A fourteen year old girl opened the fridge. Her beauty happened to be flawless with a awe-inspiring beauty. Most boys considered her a breathtaking being. From the coldness of the fridge she pulled out some sauerkraut, walked back to the living room and sat down. She pulled her brown hair back and her brown eyes stood out even more. The girl directed her eyes at the boy in front of her.

The sixteen year old boy bashfully reached into his pocket and pulled out a box. "Here for you...happy birthday!"

The girl thanked him and took the box. She opened it and pulled out a shank. "Oh my goodness thank you! So where's Jessica? Huh Kaartél?"

"She broke up with me three days ago, but lets not talk about her. It's your birthday today Ashley."

Ashley gave him a pitiful look and turned to Tina, the girl next to Kaartéel. The party continued...

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It was finally the first day of summer, but things weren't looking good for Kaartél Myoo. He felt brokenhearted and betrayed. His girlfriend had decided to go lesbo on him and somehow here he was, faltering towards his friend's fridge.

"What are you doing?" shouted his friend.

"Sorry Joshua I tripped." he mumbled quietly. "I'm hungry, writing a movie exhausts me." The boy took out a cold taco and ate it.

"You like tacos don't you Kaartél?" asked his other friend Michael.

"Oh I love them!" he exclaimed in a dirty voice. He took a seat next to Rene. "How's the script going?"

"Bad… where's a horny Asian when you need one?"

Joshua looked at Rene. "Ryan's at some computer camp called Computer Camp For Nerds With No Life's."

There was a sudden knock on the door. Kaartéel smiled shyly, "Is that Jessica?"

Joshua got up from his seat. "Kaartéel! Get over her! Besides I invited Ivan." He opened the door and let Ivan in.

"So how is Kaartéel screwing up our world today?" he wondered.

"I'm writing a porno a hardcore one. We need you to write our gay scenes."

"Fuck you. You can suck my-"

"Allright then! I'll do that, but first we have to finish my movie." boasted Kaartél.

"Lets take a break first." suggested Rene. "What should we do?"

Kaartél pulled out a movie and smiled.

Ivan grinned. "You know I ain't masturbating next to you right?"

On that moment Joshua's father came into the living room. "What are you boysdoing here?" he asked. By this time Joshua was trying to hide the script. "What is that son?" Joshua unwillingly handed him the papers. Mr. Arias read it, handed them back, and went to his room. After an uppity of rustling he reappeared with a brochure in his hands.

"What is that father?"

Mr. Arias looked up at his son with proud wet eyes. "You boys posses great writing skills. As you grow older you might even make it into the adult industry. This brochure contains information on a camp called PCFFP. In there you will grow as writers so I will send all of you there. Don't worry I'll convince your parents too." He took out his cell phone which had a skin of Jesus Christ. "Dial your phone number Kaartéel."

Kaartél did so and handed it to Mr. Arias.

"Hello Mr. Myoo? Hi this is some random police chief. I'm sorry to tell you this, but your son is dead. Oh…you don't care? Well, okay…bye."

Rene dialed his. "Hello Mrs. Sanchez? Hi this is Rene's wrestling coach. Your son has shown supreme dedication and I've decided to let him attend a wrestling camp. Can he go? Well thanks!" He handed his phone to Michael. "It's your turn now son."

He shook his head. "It's allright, I'm supposed to go to a drawing camp. We'll just say I went there."

Ivan dialed his phone number instead. "Mr. Davalos? This is social services calling about your child. Wait what? He was adopted? You don't want him in your home?" Mr. Arias closed his phone. "He hung up on me."

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Meanwhile at the mall six girls were having the time of their lives. Jessica, Carley, Ashley, Ross, Tina, and Black Girl. As they came out of the bathroom together a young boy madogged Black Girl. "You have a problem?" She walked up to the seven year old and slapped him. The boy began crying. "Shut up!"

Ross pulled out her pepper spray and sprayed him. "My eyes they burn!" Ashley seized this opportunity and pulled out the shank Kaartéel had given her and shanked the boy various of times.

Carley then screamed, "You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us!"

The mall cops rushed out. "What are you doing? You girls should consider anger management." As he stepped over the boy's body blood gushed out. "I have the perfect solution, you girls should go to camp Freaky Girls With Anger Problems."

"FGWAP?" asked Tina.

"Yeah."

Tina gave it some thought. "Sir.. what are you trying to imply? ARE YOU SAYING WE HAVE ATTITUDE PROBLEMS? HOW DO YOU KNOW WERE NOT IN OUR PERIODS OR SOMETHING? BITE ME!" Tina began to shake wildly and fell to the floor, one of the cops had stunned her. Nevertheless, the very next day the girls were on a plane flying to their new home: FGWAP.

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The boys were on a train heading towards their new camp. "I'm bored." whined Michael. "It's hard to draw on a train."

Rene pulled out his Ipod. "We could play truth or dare, just spin my Ipod."

Joshua spinned it, the front pointing towards Kaartél. "So watcha want? Truth or dare?"

Kaartél gave a cold prudent look. "Fuck dare, Ivan will probably make me do something sick. I'll take truth."

"Fine." Joshua gave it some thought. "Which three guys are you willing to have sex with?"

"I ain't gay."

"Pretend you were and-"

"Jesus Christ! I ain't gay!"

Ivan sighed. "You gotta have an open mind like me. Just pretend you were a girl."

"Jorge, Kenny, and Ivan." mumbled Kaartéel.

Ivan gave him a sickened look. "You disgusting fag!"

"Hey it's true allright? If I was a girl I would be all over you."

"And that makes me feel better?"

The train came to a screeching halt. The five guys stepped out of the train and walked towards a man waving at them. "Hi!" he exclaimed. "I'm Jabahjayjay!"

Michael shook his hand. "I'm Michael the artist, that's Kaartél the pervert, Ivan the emo one, Joshua the Christian, and Rene the normal one."

"Well like I said I'm Jabahjayjay and I'll be your official counselor. Please follow me!"

The kids followed. "So what are we going to be doing here?" asked Rene

"Well in the morning we have breakfast. Then we watch a movie and then we take our classes. After It's lunch and if we have enough time we might fool around."

"What kind of movies do we watch?" implored Joshua.

"Well here we watch movies like Brokeback Mountain."

"That's a gay movie."

Jabahjayjay laughed. "Well duh! You're in a gay camp!"

Kaartél stopped walking. "But we're supposed to be in another camp. My God! We got on the wrong train, Jabahjayjay we gots to go back!"

Jabahjayjay gave Kaartél a xenophobic look. "Well aren't we an odd one? First of all the train doesn't come back until summer is over and second you've triggered my gay radar."

" Son of a bitch! Shut your mouth!"

"Listen Kaartél: if you have a problem then speak to the "head" of the camp." He aughed. "Get it? I just made a joke!" The counselor led them to an office and entered the door at the right. There in the flesh and blood Michael Jackson sat.

"Hi you guys must be new."

Ivan extended his hand. "I'm a big fan Mr. Jackson!"

"What's your name?"

"Ivan."

"Nice to meet you Ivan, listen do you have a little brother? Little boys cheer me up."

"The guys want to go home. Turns out they got on the wrong train." interrupted Jabahjayjay.

"Awww…that is so sad. The only way you can leave is through my jet, but you boys are so young." He sucked his teeth. "You boys must stay."

Kaartél cracked his knuckles. " You better not try anything funny…"

"Oh silly you! Quit taunting me I teach AP Pedophile!"

Kaartél loosened. "Are you serious? Can I take it?"

"No. You must begin with Pedophile 101."

"But I already have some experience!"

"Sorry rules are rules."

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The six girls were flying over America and along with them were two more teenage girls, a bunch of little girls an Arab and a Mexican. The Arab came out of the bathroom with a bomb strapped to his chest. "I Samaheth will blow up the white house!"

"Why?" asked a little one.

"I'm just living up to my stereotype!" shrieked Samaheth as he left for the Captain's room.

The Mexican cocked his gun. "Don't try anything funny!"

"Why are you doing this?" asked the little one. "You're not Arab."

The Mexican continued to point his gun at the girl. "Who are you?"

"Ju-lee."

"Listen Ju-Lee, I'm part of the Symbio-"

"This is Samaheth speaking. Your captain had a little "accident" so I'll be your new captain now."

A girl by the name of Debbie gasped. "He killed our captain?"

The captain appeared.

"Wait didn't Samaheth kill you?" asked Debbie.

"Are you deaf? Didn't you hear I had an accident? The Arab scared me so bad that- well you know were I'm getting at." He walked into the bathroom.

The Mexican began chatting with the only boy. "I thought this plane only had girls."

"It's supposed to be, but how lucky am I to be he only guy in a girl's camp? All I said was that I was a girl stuck in a boy's body and bingo!"

"That's smart thinking. What's your name smart thinker?"

"Ivory."

"Hello this is Samaheth speaking again. We'll make a short stop in the Galapagos Islands. Praise Allah!" the plane then violently shifted.

"Why there?" Ivory questioned the Mexican.

"Samaheth is the leader of the SLA: Symbionese Liberation Army. He's trying to overthrow the government, but the rest of our group and weapons are hidden deep in the caves of the Galapagos's."

The six girls had formed an alliance with Ju-Lee, Debbie, and a girl named Cleo.

"We gots to do something!" whispered Black Girl.

"Maybe they'll let us live." Cleo said optimistically.

"Cleo you're so young. Arabs are cruel and heartless!"

Jessica flashed her uncanny eyes at Black Girl. "She's only six!" She embraced Cleo. "Here here. You're too young to hear about the mean Arabs that blow up people for no reason."

"Shut up Jessica!" hollered Ross.

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Ryan woke up and slid off his bunk, the lower bunk. On the top bunk James, his bff slept. Ryan climbed the top and shoved James. "What do you want?"

Ryan pulled out a piece of paper. "Look, last night I came up with a new idea. I'm going to invent a new program called Windows Hoang."

James read the paper and ripped it apart. "It's a stupid idea! Now get off my bunk!"

Ryan hesitantly got off and grabbed a razor blade. "I'm going to shave." A Salvadorian by the name of Kevin walked into the room later on. He saw that Ryan was crying and bleeding from his wrists.

"Fool what happened?"

Ryan looked up and began crying more. "James doesn't like me! He dissed my program!"

Kevin slapped Ryan. "Fool quit crying and man up! You should stick with the program and prove James is wrong!"

Ryan got up. "For a Salvadorian you don't have an attitude problem." Both of them walked out and saw James with his shirt off. "Damn! He's got me beat in chest hair!"

Kevin rolled his eyes and walked up to Manuel and Kevin.

Manuel yawned. "Computer camp is soooo boring… where are all the chicks?"

"There aren't any." said Ryan as he cleaned his glasses. Time passed and later on that night while everyone was sleeping, Ryan pulled out his laptop and checked the history. "Damn! someone's been using my laptop to look up porn- wait that was me!" Ryan opened a file. "Windows Hoang will be a great success!" He tried downloading the program. "Crap it needs more energy." He plugged his laptop into the camp's server. Once he finished downloading Windows Hoang the camp exploded.

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Black Girl signaled all the girls to quit down. "Okay this is the plan…"

"What are you going to do with us?" Ivory asked the Mexican.

"I'm not sure." smirked the Mexican. He looked at Ivory with cold eyes. "Kill everyone!"

"Even me?"

"No not you, you're cool."

Ashley got up and walked past the Mexican.

"Hey you girl! What are you doing?"

"I'm going to the bathroom."

The Mexican bought the explanation and turned to Ivory. Seeing this opportunity, Ashley slashed the Mexican's neck open with her shank.

"You are one crazy girl!" Ivory told her.

The rest of the girls busted into the captain's cabin screaming. They pushed the Arab who in response fell and didn't move. The plane lowered and crashed.

Tina got up. "We survived?"

"Yeah the was only flying twenty feet above the air." Carley said.

"That's stupid!" Ju-Lee said.

Ashley rushed in. "Girls all the passengers except Ivory died!"

"How?" asked Ross.

"Well… they thought they were hundreds of feet in the air. They killed themselves with my shank!"

The nine girls and Ivory walked out of the plane. "Where are we?" asked Jessica.

"The Galapagos Islands." responded Ivory.

"How do you know?"

He sighed. "Girls these days…look at the sign! 'Welcome To The Galapagos Islands'!"

"Lets pick a leader." suggested Ross. "Until we're found that is! I pick Black Girl!" All the girls picked her as well.

"Hey ivory! How come you didn't vote for me?"

"A girl as a leader? Oh please give me a break!"

The girls ignored the comment and kept on walking.