hello, everyone!
so let me tell you a little story about a girl who became obsessed with a couple of ice dancing canadians during the Olympic Games. yeah, that's me. in little more than a week i was crazy about them, living, eating and breathing tessa virtue and scott moir. if you don't know who they are, google their gold medal moulin rouge performance and watch the magic happen. they've been skating together for 21 years and the entire world believes they're in love, so i thought "you know, why don't i write a huge jily au based on them?"
aaaaaaaaand here it is, hope you enjoy!
It's the little moments, really.
The way he hugs her right after their performances – every single one. The way he gets each and every question right on these stupid newlywed games – they're not even married! The way he just materializes beside her during warm ups – he used to scare the living shit out of her. The way he's so nonchalant about touching her in front of the cameras – he knows this only feeds the shippers. The way his hands, his eyes, are always looking for her.
It's these things that make her feel truly sad about ending their career. She's just so used to simply having him there with her all the time, it's like he's an extra limb she can't live without. A sarcastic, cocky, annoying limb. But still, he's essential to her.
And now they won't be together all day every day and Lily's been reduced to a sobbing mess as she reminisces on their time together, pictures of them throughout the years scattered around her.
Their first program together. Their first medal. Their first Olympics. Their first time getting sloshed with the gang. Hell, even that picture of when she pushed him into the ice after a very idiotic joke makes her heart ache. Seeing her angry face and his confused one makes her think of all the things they've been through together, how much they evolved, matured and simply became each other's centre of gravity.
Truth is, when Lily's aunt Rose introduced her to a scrawny twitchy eleven year old boy with frantic hair and glasses that were too big for his face, she certainly didn't think she'd spend the next seventeen years beside him.
Really, the boy was a disaster.
"Hello, pretty lady" is the first thing he says to her, with a cocky smirk.
"Get lost, prat," is her flippant response, wearing a glare that should have sent him running, but instead seems to make him even more determined to impress her. Lily ignores him and turns back to her aunt. "Auntie Rose, I told you I only want to dance with Sev," she whines, pulling at Rose's shirt.
"Lily, dear. I told you Severus' mother is pulling him out of the school."
"But he said he'd talk to her about staying! He promised!" James just watches as Miss Evans talks her niece into dancing with him, standing there awkwardly in his brand-new skates and growing grumpier by the second. What was wrong with her? He was a great skater, everybody knows this.
Finally, the girl – Lily, he thinks – stops complaining and accepts to dance with him. "Just to see if you work well together, kids," her aunt reassures them. And of course they do. And of course this only makes Lily hate him more. Back then, she wished he'd mess up spectacularly so aunt Rose would separate them and she wouldn't have to see his stupid face ever again.
And he did, once. A year into their – rocky – partnership, they were competing in a championship and had just ruled a risky move off, but James always wanted more and more and more and still wanted to do it.
The odds were against them: they were too young, not strong enough and needed more training. Still, James pushed and pushed until she agreed to do it.
They tried to pull it off, and he slipped, dropped her and fell. The last thing she saw before they hit the ice was Severus' face in the crowd, looking more pleased to see James fail than concerned for his best friend being dropped in the middle of a routine.
This thought flew out of her head as she and James splashed themselves on the ice. And even though she could hear the loud crack of his head hitting the ice, his first reaction was to run to her so he could see if she was alright. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Evans" was all he kept saying to her.
His concern was so raw and genuine that for a second, she forgot how insufferable he was. In the end, he had a concussion and she had a mere bruise on her leg.
McGonagall is ready to explode at him when they get to the locker room – because of course she knew he was the one pushing them to do the lift anyway – but Lily interrupts her when she sees James flinch in advance.
"Coach McGonagall, it was my fault," she blurts out before she can process or even think about what she's going to say. "James had agreed with you that we should give up but I just wanted to win too much. I saw the other teams and I got insecure, so I convinced him we needed the lift to win."
McGonagall's face is a mask of rigid eyes and hard lines. "I'm very disappointed in you, Miss Evans," she says and the words hit its mark when Lily lowers her head in resignation. "Now both of you, get up. We have to get that concussion checked, Mister Potter."
The two skaters get up, James trying to catch Lily's stare as they leave, a question clear in his eyes. She just throws a sideways glance at him, shrugging lightly then facing forward again.
The drive to the hospital is not that long, but it feels like they've been there for days when they finally get through the doors and James gets checked in. "I'm really sorry, you know," he mumbles to her while they wait for the doctor.
"You already said that a hundred times, Potter," she sighs, eyes closed and head resting on the back of the sofa. She's so tired.
"Yeah, but it's still not enough. You shouldn't have taken the fall for me," he pauses. "Pun not intended."
She opens one eye and sees he's fighting a smile. The sight alone makes her cool facade crack and she gives him a tiny smile in return. "Please, I knew McGonagall would flip her shit with you, and I'm just too lazy to find another partner. I did it for me."
"Sure, keep telling yourself that, Evans," he says with a smirk as the doctor comes to get him examined.
After that, they still bickered, he was still an obnoxious arse and she was still pissed off by the pure sight of his ridiculous cocky smirk and impossible hair. But something had changed between the pair. It's like, ironically, after he dropped her, she started to trust him more, started to finally see that skating meant as much to him as it did to her.
At 15, they have to leave Cokeworth and go to Hogsmeade to start professional training. Lily cried every night for months because she missed her parents and both Petunia and Severus won't talk to her. Her relationship with Petunia had been pretty much ruined for years, but with Severus, Lily had still dared to hope he'd support her no matter what happened.
She was wrong.
"You're going to move? And stay with that- that… with Potter ?" Severus practically yells at her.
They're sitting in the swings at the park near their house and Lily looks around, afraid that someone is going to hear what she already knows is going to be a big argument. She shushes him, putting on her mental gear as a preparation for another fight with her best friend.
"Yes, I am. And you knew this was coming, I told you I was serious about skating. It's always been my dream to go to the Olympics, you know that," she hears him scoff and frowns, a question already on her lips.
He beats her to it, his voice dripping venom. "You? And Potter ?" Severus says in a patronizing tone. "Please, you'll never even make it to the senior level. Just how delusional are you?"
She's taken aback by the pure hostility in his tone, blinking rapidly to prevent tears from escaping her eyes. "Sev-"
He continues on, not even looking in her direction at all. "Evans and Potter, Britain's dream team, huh?" he abruptly turns to her, nothing but cold disdain in his eyes. "Your sister's right. You're only wasting your parents' money in vain. You two are bound to be a failure."
Lily takes a sharp breath and rids her face of any emotion. "Well, if you really think I'm such a failure , I don't see why we have to be friends anymore. I wouldn't want to drag you down with me when I hit rock bottom, right?" she can see his mask crack for a split second, regret flickering in his eyes. She ignores it, getting up and walking in her house's direction.
"Where are you going, Lily?" Severus asks, still attempting to sound as cruel as he can be.
"I'm going home so I can call James and ask him to come to the rink," she stops but doesn't turn around to answer him. "And we're not friends anymore, so do me a favour and call me Evans. Goodbye, Snape ."
She calmly walks back to her house, walking steadily and not letting a single tear fall until she gets to her room and closes the door. She quietly sobs into her pillow, deciding that this really was the last straw.
Their fights had become more and more frequent over the years, his attacks getting uglier and more vicious every time they argued. She knew, deep in her heart, that the only way he would accept their friendship was if she gave up skating entirely.
He'd truly never forgiven her for changing partners, that was the truth. He wanted her to quit skating when his mom pulled him out of their skating lessons, thinking that if she wouldn't skate with him, she could never skate with anyone else. She tried to ignore this truth for as long as she could, but enough was enough. Lily decided right then that she would work thrice as hard to be a true champion, her focus directed entirely to training and skating.
After a while, she stops crying and just sits on her bed staring at her phone, debating whether or not she should actually call James. She sighs, deciding against it. He was probably with the boys, pulling some pranks or whatever it was they did when she wasn't there.
Just when she sets her phone down on her nightstand, there's a knock on the door and her mother's head pops up from behind it.
"Lily, dear. James is here for you," she says and waits for Lily to nod before she opens the door wider and James appears in the doorframe.
She sits up straighter on the bed and tries to smile at him as he walks into the room and her mother goes back downstairs. He notices her slightly puffy eyes and forced smile and frowns a little. "Hey, Evans. Everything okay?"
"Yeah," she says softly and she can tell he's not convinced by her monosyllabic answer, but doesn't press further. "What are you doing here? I thought you were with the boys or something."
"Nah, my parents just got back from one of their business trips to Japan and they bought us something," he closes the door and walks towards her bed, sitting at the edge of the mattress. "They told me not to open it until I was with you, so of course I immediately ran to your house."
She smiles fondly at his eager expression. "Of course you did. I'm surprised you didn't peek at it on the way over."
"I tried to, but I wouldn't be able to rewrap it after and you'd know," he mumbles, a sheepish expression on his face.
He's such a boy , she thinks as she laughs a little and scoots closer to him. "Okay, then. Let's see what this mysterious gift is, then."
He opens the little bag and pulls out two silver chains, each one with a single ice skate dangling from it. Lily lets out a soft gasp as she brings her hand up to touch the delicate pendant, tears gathering in her eyes.
James hears her sniffle and turns in her direction, a look of concern in his face. "Evans? What happened?"
"James, do you really think this is going to work out? Do you think we're gonna make it?" she says in a small voice and he's caught off guard at the use of his first name.
"Of course I think we're gonna make it. Don't you?"
"I do! It's just-" she cuts herself off, not wanting to verbalize what happened with Snape.
"What happened? Talk to me," he takes her hands in his, praying that she doesn't flinch away from his touch. She doesn't.
She meets his gaze, trying not to cry as all of her doubts and insecurities flood her brain. "Snape told me I'm a failure- we are a failure. He got angry after I told him we're moving away and he said we're not even gonna make it to the senior level, much less the Olympics."
He closes his eyes, taking deep breaths and fighting the urge to leave the house and beat up that grease ball until he forgets his own name. He opens his eyes and finds Lily's open and vulnerable, as if she really needs him to contradict everything Snape told her.
"Lily… I want you to listen to me. Really listen to me," he grips her hands tighter, the chains from the necklaces cold between their skins. "I'm asking you to delete everything he just said from your mind. He doesn't know anything about you if he really thinks you'd settle for anything less than an Olympic medal- or that you're not capable of getting one."
She grips his hands back, feeling relief flood her for the first time that day. "So you're really serious about this? Us, skating together long term?"
He looks at her almost in disbelief. "Evans, what do you think I've been doing for the past four years? Passing the time? I'm not moving to hogsmeade for the pubs, you know."
Her responding smile lights up the room. It's as if, in some level, she thought she was alone in this. She surprises him by throwing her arms around his neck, hugging him to her with all her might. "Thank you, Potter. Really," she says into his neck as he returns the hug when he recovers from the shock of being hugged by Lily Evans.
"Anytime, Evans," he says, taking the opportunity to hug her tighter, smelling the soft scent of her lavender shampoo.
He stays there for a while longer, talking to Lily about their plans for next season, how it would be like living away from their families and friends. The whole time, the only thing James can think about is the broken look on Lily's face when she told him what happened with Snape.
When he finally leaves, he doesn't think twice before making his way to one of the run-down streets on Spinner's End. He knocks heavily on the third house down the street, praying that the right person answers.
When the door opens and Snape's face appears on the threshold, James doesn't hesitate when he pulls back his arm and punches him in the face. Snape staggers back with a yelp, clutching his long nose as blood streams out of it.
James grabs him by the collar of his shirt before slamming his frail figure against the wall, his face getting threateningly close to Snape's. " Stay away from her ," he says in a low, cold voice. "You hear me? If I ever find out you so much as breathed the same air as her, I swear I'll kill you," he finishes, releasing the pale boy with a hard push.
Snape's shocked expression fades into his usual disdainful scowl. He doesn't say anything as James gives him one last cold look before turning and leaving.
When the time comes for Lily and James to move, she does so with a new determination in her mind, surrendering her body and soul to her dream and passion for skating.
It's then that she starts to lean on James the most.
"Potter, are you awake?" whispers Lily, knocking on his hotel door. It's the night before their first competition of the season and she can't sleep.
She knocks a couple more times and gives up, crossing the hall back to her own room. Just as she gets inside it, James' own door opens and he steps into the hallway through the door frame, bleary eyed and pulling a shirt through his head.
"Evans, what's wrong? Did something happen?" he inquires after taking a look at her red eyes.
Now that he's really here, she feels silly about waking him up in the middle of the night. "It's nothing, I'm sorry I woke you up."
"You're crying, so it's clearly something. C'mon, you can talk to me. Tell me what happened," her opens his door wider, inviting her in.
She hesitates for a moment then walks into the room. He closes the door and sits on the bed, tapping the space beside him for her to sit. She shakes her head, though, choosing to remain standing. He shrugs and motions for her to start talking.
"Petunia hates me," she blurts out.
He frowns at her, trying to understand how someone could hate the wonderful girl standing in front of him. "Why?"
"I called my parents earlier to ask if everything was set for them to come tomorrow, but she's the one who picked up. She told me I was selfish for wasting mum and dad's money on a silly dream like being an elite athlete. She said I should forget about it, focus on studying and getting a job so I could stop sucking our family savings," she already feels the tears gathering in her eyes again. "When I told her that I was not giving up, she called me a bitch and told me she hoped I failed. God , this is Snape all over again," she was sobbing by then, barely able to get the last words out.
James gets up and pulls her into his chest. It takes some time, but eventually she gives into the hug, locking her arms around his torso and burying her face into his chest. They stay like this for a few minutes until she starts to calm herself and pulls out of their embrace.
"I'm sorry about the mess, Potter," she says, wiping her eyes.
"As long as you know that nothing your sister said is true, I won't care about you slobbering all over my shirt," he smiles at her and she manages to give him a tiny wet smile in return. "You're an amazing skater. Not better than me, 'cause I'm the best, but you're simply awesome and there's no way you're taking advantage of your parents or becoming a failure, you hear me?" she gives him a weak nod and lets him pull her into the direction of his hotel bed.
They sit on the bed and share a comfortable silence until James breaks it. "I couldn't sleep, either."
"Why, found a long-lost sibling to fight with?" she says with a sarcastic laugh.
He lets out a chuckle and bumps his shoulder with hers. "No, idiot. I miss my folks."
"God, me too. I feel like running into my dad's arms. He gives the best hugs, you know."
"Now that's a lie. Everyone knows my mum gives the best hugs in the universe."
"Absolutely not! I've hugged your mum and she's close, but my dad's still the best hugger. I don't make the rules."
He makes an indignant sound, looking at her with a skeptical expression. "You're entitled to your wrong opinion, Evans."
"Shut up, you know I'm right," she laughs and looks at the clock on the bedside table. "Oh my God, it's already 3 a.m.! How are we supposed to skate tomorrow?"
"It's your fault, Evans," he tries really hard not to laugh at her confused expression. "You're the one who decided you had the hots for me in the middle of the night! How could I turn a damsel in distress down?"
"Ha ha ha, very funny, Potter. I'm serious now, we have to sleep," she gets up from the bed and opens the door. Before she closes it, she turns around and faces him. "Thank you. For helping me tonight. I'd still be crying if it weren't for you."
"Anytime, Evans. Next time I'll demand a goodnight kiss, though."
Lily rolls her eyes and closes the door, feeling much lighter now.
This becomes a common occurrence for them. Whenever one of them has trouble sleeping, they'll knock on the other's door to talk and discuss their problems. He's still an insufferable prat, but she wouldn't have been able to get through these big changes without him. He keeps her centred.
Of course, if you ask James, he's definitely going to say you got it backwards. She's his rock, and even if she didn't know it yet, she's his other – better – half.
Naturally, they have other friends. They made new ones, too. James had the Marauders and Lily had the girls. Remus, Peter and Dorcas stayed in Cokeworth to finish their schooling, but Marlene and Sirius moved to hogsmeade around the same time as James and Lily to pursue their respective sports careers. That's when they met Alice and Frank, too.
But still, even being surrounded by that many people, James was still the only one who really understood what she was going through and was still the first person she felt she could dump all of her emotional baggage on. She really couldn't have done this without him.
Slowly, her emotional scars start to fade. She replaces bitter words for reassuring ones, relying on her newfound family to help and care for her in this path.
They've been training in Hogsmeade for almost three months when James starts to notice.
He'd always known Lily was beautiful, had been saying he would marry her since they were eleven – he tried to propose when they were twelve, but she said she'd rather marry a giant squid. But he had never stopped to really look at her before.
He's just arrived at the rink, getting out of his host mother's car, when he sees Lily getting off a bus. She looks like a walking cushion, with several jackets, gloves and a scarf pulled around her face, leaving only her emerald green eyes visible. She jogs up to him as he opens the door to the lobby, eyeing the two coffees in his hand eagerly.
"Please tell me one of these is for me," is the first thing out of her mouth, the sound muffled as she starts to unwrap the scarf from her neck.
"Good morning to you too, Lily! I'm fine, thanks for asking, you're such a considerate partner! What, these? Oh no these two definitely are only for me, not for my rude partner," he teases her, holding both coffees above his head and watching as she jumps up and down trying to reach it.
After a few tries she just stops and crosses her arms, pouting like a little girl as he doubles over laughing. Lily takes the opportunity and grabs the coffee, turning to run immediately in the locker room's direction. James instantly starts to run after her, managing to tackle the redhead just as they cross the door to the locker room. They struggle for a moment, bumping into random lockers as Lily hugs the coffee cup to her chest and James tries to pry it off her fingers.
"Just- let it go, James !" she's already out of breath.
"No, no, no! You can't just take it from me! Where are your manners, Evans?" they're both so caught up on their struggle that they don't notice the other skaters staring at them with various degrees of amusement and mild shock – in the case of the younger ones. Alice is the first one to clear her throat, startling the pair out of their bubble. Lily loosens her hold on the cup just as James tugs it and coffee explodes all over both of them.
That's when the rest of the room loses it, snickering as the junior star skaters stand there soaked in hot coffee and try to desperately look presentable and unaffected by what just happened.
"Well, then. I guess you both got the coffee," says Frank, trying – and failing – to keep his laughter in.
"Ha ha, really fucking funny, Longbottom," James says, still trying to clean his glasses, which are sticky from the sugar-filled coffee.
"Alright, you clowns. You can go now, we've got to clean up," says Lily in a tone that leaves no room for discussion. The room slowly clears of the giggling skaters as she and James move towards the sinks to try and clean themselves before practice. "This is your fault, you know," she tries to sound grumpy and disapproving, but he can see the smile she's trying to keep from the surface.
"Weren't you the one stealing coffee from defenseless ice dancers?" he sounds genuinely curious as he washes his lenses and looks at her without actually seeing anything other than a big blur of dark red.
"You know damn well that you got it for me. It had my name in it!"
He finally manages to put his glasses back on and properly looks at her now, mascara smudged under her beautiful eyes, hair a tangled mess full of coffee and a stained shirt sticking to her torso. She looks absolutely ridiculous and completely gorgeous.
He must stare at her for a little too long, because next thing he knows, she's snapping her fingers in front of his face. "Oi, Potter! Did the coffee get into your brain or something?"
He blinks and shakes his head, putting on his signature cocky smirk and trying to act cool. "Well, Evans . You know you're not the only Lily in the world, right?"
She narrows her eyes at him. "Oh, yeah? So who's the other Lily, then?"
"Um… Lily…" he struggles to find a name to support his obvious lie. "Lily Flower," he proudly decides on.
" Really ," he's physically struggling to keep his laughter in now. "And where is Miss Flower, then?"
"Well, you know. She must have seen the way you so recklessly stole her coffee and probably fled the country to be away from a cruel woman such as you."
She presses her lips together trying to remain serious but can't hold the laughter anymore when she sees him crack first. They have to hold onto the sinks in front of them as they explode in a fit of giggles.
Eventually they calm themselves down, wiping tears from their eyes as they struggle to get their breathing back to normal. It's moments like these that make Lily feel happy about where she is right now. They had a rocky start, sure. But James has really become indispensable to her, and she's glad she got over herself and decided to give him a chance after all.
The moment is interrupted when McGonagall loudly opens the locker room door, looking at them with an impatient and annoyed scowl.
"Miss Evans, what is happening here? I have been waiting for you two at the rink for the past ten minutes," she says in a stern tone.
Lily flushes a bit, hating to be the subject of McGonagall's disapproving stare. "We… had a bit of an accident here. We were just cleaning up," she checks the mirror again, sees that her hair's still a mess and shrugs. "Well, it's not getting much better than that. Let me just change my shirt and I'll be right there."
"Yeah… sorry, Minnie," Lily elbows James on the ribs, knowing that the nickname will only worsen their coach's mood. McGonagall indeed hardens her face but doesn't say anything as she looks at them one last time and closes the door.
"When will you learn not to call her Minnie?" Lily says, going to collect their dropped bags near the locker room's entrance.
"Aw, c'mon Lily. She's known me practically since I was a baby, I'm not calling her McGonagall," he says, leaning against the sink as he watches her drag their bags towards the benches. "And you know she secretly loves it."
"Maybe, but not when she's in a mood," she goes through his bag and throws him a clean white shirt before going through hers and getting one for herself.
James hums and tries not to stare as she gets off her dirty shirt and stands there with her back turned to him wearing a sports bra. It's not like it's an unusual thing for them to do, change in front of each other. They've been partners for almost five years, of course they've seen each other in their underpants at some point in time.
Lily looks in the mirror again, tying her hair up in a high ponytail before turning to him. "Alright?"
"Yeah, yeah. Let's go," he pulls at her ponytail before walking to the locker room entrance, not missing the way she rolls her eyes at him with a fond expression on her face.
It's early march and James, Sirius and Remus are hanging on the training centre lounge area while Lily finishes choosing their new outfit for the upcoming Worlds Championships.
"Mate, I love you, but if I have to hear you comment on how beautiful Lily looked at today's fitting one more time, I'm gonna have to kill you. You understand it's my only option right now, right?" some variation of that is said at least once a week by Sirius.
"You've been making that same threat for six years, Padfoot. I think it's lost its touch about two years ago."
"Shh Remus, he didn't know that."
The whole exchange happens and doesn't get a single reaction from the messy haired ice dancer. He's looking at a random fixed point, apparently lost in thought.
Sirius, realising his friend has drifted off, tries to get his attention. "Oi, Prongs! C'mon, throws us a bone here. Remus is never here, don't waste your precious time with the legendary Marauders sulking around."
James snaps out of his trance, feeling guilty for not giving his friends the attention they deserve.
"Yeah, sorry about that," he swipes a hand through his hair, straightening himself from his slumped position on the armchair. "What do you say we get something to eat? Burgers, or some burritos."
"Thank God you said that, I'm starving ," says Sirius, already halfway through the entrance hall before he even finishes his sentence.
As they make their way out, Lily comes out of the locker room in full winter gear. It's ironic how she's an ice skater but doesn't really like the cold all that much. Most of the time she won't leave home or anywhere else without a jacket on.
She hears the boys before she actually sees them, the group being loud as usual. She approaches them from behind. "Hey boys, where are you going? I'm starving, what do you say we go eat some pizza? My treat."
James, hearing her voice, swings around and makes a big show of lifting her in the air by the waist and acting as if he hasn't seen her in years. "OH MY GOD LILY I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE ALIVE! HOW DID YOU ESCAPE?"
She can only laugh at his ridiculous reaction. "Put me down, you idiot!"
He lowers her to the ground with a laugh. "Did you and Minnie finally decide on our new outfit for the finals?"
"We narrowed it down to two options and decided we're coming back tomorrow and I'm trying them on again so we can make the final decision. Your presence is required, they want to see us side by side with the outfits," she says with an apologetic look in her eyes. She knows he hates costume fittings, he gets too antsy from having to stand quiet for a long time.
James groans, tired of all the fuss around simple clothes. "Just promise me it won't take 5 hours again, please?"
"You know I can't promise you that, McGonagall will settle for nothing but perfection, even if it means we have to suffer for hours."
Sirius had been watching the two talk and realised James was, once again, getting sucked into Lily-world, forgetting about the rest of the world when she's with him. "Okay you two, wrap it up. I'm freezing my pretty ass, let's get out of here."
"So… about that pizza?"
"Sorry, Evans. We had other plans in mind. Maybe next time, 'kay?"
It all happens so quickly that Lily can only watch as Sirius drags James and Remus away with him, the latter throwing a weak "bye, Lils" and an apologetic smile her way. James tries to turn around but she can see Sirius' arm tighten around him, keeping him from doing so.
She wonders what this was about, feeling a little hurt by their dismissal. She sighs, turning around and dialling Marlene's number to see if she's up for pizza too.
Later this afternoon, the boys are at James' room trying to study for their school finals, each one sprawled in some corner of the room.
James sighs and messes up his hair for the sixth time before Sirius loses his patience. "Prongs, I'm gonna throw you out the fucking window if you don't stop brooding right this second."
It's all the excuse the boys needed to drop their textbooks and forget studying. James sighs a seventh time and flops down on the bed. "Shut up, Padfoot. I'm trying to think here."
"You should be thinking about the finals, but go on," Remus mumbles under his breath, already sensing that they're not going to get any more studying done for today.
"James, you're 16- almost 17. You should be enjoying life and hooking up with girls, not brooding over one," Sirius' voice is muffled by the pillow he threw over his head.
"Look, I know , ok? I know. But Lily isn't some random girl I just met. We've known each other for almost five years, I can't mess this up."
"I hate to agree with Padfoot, and you know I love Lily, but you have to do something. This is gonna affect your skating sooner or later," intervenes Remus.
James scoffs, letting out a dry laugh. "Moony, you do realise all of our skates are love stories, right? If anything, this is good because I don't have topretend to be in love with her. Our acting coach loves me."
"Well, I think you should confess. You're a good match," Peter pipes in, only paying half attention as he tries to solve a problem in his math textbook.
"Yeah, ignore little Pete. This is a disaster waiting to happen," Sirius says, elbowing Peter on the ribs and giving Remus an exasperated look.
"We can't tell you what to do, Prongs. We just don't think you're completely happy with this situation. The minute she gets into your line of sight, you're the happiest man alive, but as soon as she leaves you're back to your gloomy pining self. That's not happiness and you know it."
"Yeah, I agree with Moony. How long are you going to keep this up? It's like you've put your whole life on pause just waiting for her to love you," Peter gives up on studying, tossing his book aside.
They look at him, waiting for a response. James just closes his eyes and sighs for the eighth time.
The next day, James is entering the ice rink when he hears Lily's loud laugh. He looks around, trying to locate her fiery red hair before finally finding her.
She's leaning against the boards, talking to some guy he's never seen before. He watches as he says something that makes her throw her head back and laugh again. Jealousy starts to grow inside him as he makes his way towards the pair, his skates hitting the floor with a little more force than was normal.
Lily sees James coming over her company's shoulder and greets him. "Hey, James! You're here early," she says with an easy smile that throws him off a bit. God, she's breathtaking without even trying.
Even so, his response comes off dry. "Yeah, I wanted to go over some moves by myself before practice. I wanted to call you but I assumed you were studying."
Her smile wavers a little at his cool tone. "Nah, you and I had the same idea. It's good, though! We can do a little extra practice together instead."
James nods in agreement, eyeing the boy standing between him and his – skating – partner with an ounce of disdain. "And you are?"
"Amos Diggory. You must be James, huh?" he shakes James' hand, earning only a curt nod as a response. "Lily here was telling me all about your little partnership."
"Really?" James raises his eyebrows, flickering his eyes to Lily before returning the cold stare to Amos.
"Yeah, she was."
Lily feels the need to intervene when she sees the boys start a staring competition. "Hey, Amos. We gotta practice, so I guess I'll see you later?"
He breaks his stare and throws her a grin. "You sure will, Miss Evans," he says in a smooth voice, kissing her hand and walking away without a second glance at James.
The pair of skaters watch him go until James turns to Lily, an unreadable expression on his face. "Who was that?"
"Amos Diggory, he just told you that."
"He told me his name, Lily. Not who he is."
"Oh, he's a hockey player. Apparently he's the new goalie in Sirius' team," that gets no reaction other than another curt nod, so she changes the subject. "Okay, wake up and let's start with warmups so I can help you with your moves."
He nods again , taking off his blade guards and entering the ice. His stance is all wrong, shoulders rigid and legs moving in a robotic manner. Lily stares at him for a bit, debating whether to ask him what's wrong.
He starts warming up without her and she decides against it, knowing his mood would only worsen if she did. She sighs, knowing it will be a long and useless practice as long as James is in this mood.
After that, James does the only thing he knows he shouldn't: he isolates Lily.
It's gradual, because at first he doesn't want to give up what they have, but by the time they're ready to perform he's so angry at himself for letting this happen that he just closes himself off in a corner and glares at anyone who dares approach him. He sees the look of hurt and confusion on Lily's face whenever she tries to approach him but gets cut off.
It only makes him hate himself more.
When it's their turn, she approaches him so they can talk like they always do before their programs, but he brushes right past her, entering the ice without even waiting for her to join him. She runs to catch up with him, wanting to at least pretend they're okay for the cameras.
She grabs his arm, feeling it tense up beneath her hand and forces a fake smile to mask the annoyance rising up in her chest. "James, what the fuck?" she whispers to him and gets no response. He just skates them over to the centre of the ice and gets into position. He doesn't look at her once.
In the few seconds left before their music starts, she tries to catch his eye in a last desperate attempt to connect with her partner. He refuses to meet her stare, instead looking at a place above her head.
Lily struggles to get in character, all of the acting lessons her parents paid for fly out of her head and she's sure she looks like she's in pain. Their program music sounds like their death sentence when it fills the arena.
To say they were a mess is an understatement. James trips and Lily misses her cues twice. Not to mention that their twizzles are completely out of sync. When they're done, she can feel the crowd's shock. They were the country's favourites to win the title. They'd been defending champions for the last two years and this was their last one as Junior contestants. They were supposed to go out with a bang.
James seems to become even angrier and won't even look in her direction, while Lily is so confused she doesn't even know how she manages to get through the robotic motions of bowing to the audience. She can only stare at her James trying to understand what the hell had just happened.
They skate over to the boards and can't bear to look at coach McGonagall as she hands them their jackets and blade guards. They already knew what would be staring back at them: complete and utter disappointment.
The results come and it's their season's worst score. Lily tries to smile for the cameras, but McGonagall and James don't manage to hide their respective disappointment and anger.
When it's over, they get dragged to the locker room and sit on a bench side by side. McGonagall just stands in front of them and stares at the pair. They feel like little kids again.
"Would any of you care to explain to me what just happened out there?" she asks, with a voice that carries no emotion at all.
Her question is met with silence. They're too embarrassed to even begin to think about answering.
"Well, seeing as neither of you are willing to explain yourselves, allow me to. What the audience and the judges witnessed out there was utter embarrassment. I would like both of you to think long and hard about this throughout the week. There will be no practices and you are free to do as you please for the next seven days. I, of course, expect both of you to return to training with a different mindset than the one you had today." They nod silently. "The season is over. We will, however, maintain our scheduled practices, but only after you have had time to think that this presentation may possibly cost your future. The two of you must commit to this, find yourselves and the connection you share, before you eventhink about taking the ice again." She finishes with a serious tone before leaving.
Silence fills the room as they sit beside each other for a few moments.
"Would you please just say something?" Lily practically screams at James after minutes have passed.
"I don't know what you want me to say."
"Oh, really? You're gonna play the oblivious card on me of all people? Please, you're smarter than this."
"We messed up, it happens. We just need to train harder next time."
"No, James. You messed up. You've been messing up for days now. Pushing me away, avoiding me, brooding all over the place and you're not telling me why!" she's breathless by the time she finishes talking, tears welling up in her eyes.
He tries to hold off his distant attitude, seemingly not bothered by anything she said. It's only when he hears her repressed sob that he turns to stare into her tear-filled eyes. "I'm sorry, Lils. I really am. I know I'm the problem, but I just can't take it anymore, I-"
"What? Me? Skating? You want to stop?" her eyes plead at him to just open up to her.
"NO!" the word seems to explode out of him. "No, Lily. Please, I would never abandon you like that."
"I've been feeling pretty abandoned for the past weeks, so I would really appreciate it if you'd just try to explain to me what the hell has been happening to you," she demands, hating the way her voice breaks at the end.
He just stares at her for a few seconds. She looks confused and hurt and he can't handle seeing her beautiful green eyes marred with tears, can't handle being the reason these tears are there in the first place.
So he takes a deep breath, prepares do to the thing that will most likely ruin them. "I think I'm in love with you," he lets out a nervous chuckle, raking a hand through his hair. "Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you. And I needed to take a step back from us, from you. The timing was shite, I know. I'm stupid and I lost us that fucking gold medal," he stares at her for a couple of seconds, sees only confusion staring back at him. "Lily, I'm sorry, but I need to breathe. I'm really sorry," he says, already getting up to leave.
Lily can only stare in shock as he leaves. What was that? What was she supposed to do? What were they supposed to do? Perhaps McGonagall was right. They really need some time to sort things out.
She stays there in the locker room for a few minutes, eyes closed and head resting on the wall behind her. Eventually, she changes out of her costume and gathers her equipment, thinking about how her day tomorrow is going to be even more tiring than this one was.
As she leaves through the athletes' exit, she hears a voice coming from the shadows under a column who sends a cold shiver down her spine.
"I told you he'd screw things up, huh?" says Snape, stepping into the light.
"Don't you think you overdid it with the drama there? Stepping out of the shadows and all that jazz?" comes her apathetic response.
His expression becomes one of bitter disdain as he takes a step further in her direction. "I see you're still caught in his spell, taking up his habits, even after what just happened in there."
"I swear to God if you take one more step towards me I'm gonna scream bloody murder, Snivellus."
A flicker of hurt passes over his face but his spiteful scowl goes back into place so fast it was like it was never there. "Don't worry, Evans," he spits the word like it's a dirty insult. "I'll stay out of your way and focus on the real champions."
"Still working with Black and Malfoy, I see," her voice is heavy with criticism.
"Of course I am. You really think I'd pass up the opportunity to work with the future of skating?"
"I'd rather be a laughingstock than stoop so low as to use doping and bribery to win."
"They're winning anyway and here you are: the nation's very own laughingstock," he says with a winning smile when he saw he hit her where it hurt. "I'm going to stop wasting my time with scum now, I've got actual important people to see."
When he the door closes after him, Lily presses her back against a column and has to take some deep breaths to calm herself down. She really can't believe he's that bad now. Has he always been like this? How could you be friends with someone and not know how dark they were?
She goes to meet their parents when she's steadied herself, trying to take Snape out of her mind for good. James. She has to focus on her and James and what to do next.
So Lily goes back home with her parents, who are thrilled to have her there so they can catch up and spend some time with their daughter. The problem is that said daughter seems to have lost her spark after the World Championship. She often isolates herself in her old room in silence or listening to Billy Joel and won't even retaliate when her sister attacks her.
"So, little ice princess came running back home with her tail between her legs after messing up the Worlds, huh?" taunts Petunia, barging into Lily's room sometime in the middle of the week. She's been looking for a fight since Lily had gotten back from Moscow.
Lily can only sigh and bury herself further into her cocoon of blankets. "Just go away, Petunia."
"What, lost your nerve now that you're a national joke?" she says with disdain, hoping to get a fight out of her younger sister.
It doesn't work. Lily stays silent, protected by her blankets and just prays that her monster of a sister leaves her alone for once.
Petunia just continues to leer at Lily until she grows tired of waiting for a reaction, huffing and leaving the room banging the door shut.
Lily sighs again and thanks the heavens for finally being alone again. She has one week to make up her mind and try to fix things between her and James.
What if they never find balance again? They can't date, certainly not now when they have to focus on skating and getting back on the top. It just isn't a possibility. Not to mention the fact that she doesn't actually want to be in a relationship with James Potter, not at all. Right?
There's a knock on her bedroom door and her mom comes in wearing a worried expression at the sight of her youngest daughter in bed for the third day in a row. "Hello there, little champion," she says softly, sitting on the edge of Lily's single bed.
"I'm not a champion, mom. Haven't you heard? I'm a national joke."
"How many times have I told you not to listen to your sister? You are a champion. This was just a bump in the long and successful road you and James are going through," she kisses her daughter's forehead. "Now come down to the kitchen, I've made blueberry pancakes just for you."
Lily groans a bit but eventually gets up and follows her mother. She hadn't realised she missed her parents so much up until now. It makes her sad that they don't see each other often, and she often finds herself wishing she could repay them for all the sacrifices they've made – and continue to make – so she can pursue her dream. When she tells her mother this, her response brings tears to Lily's eyes.
"Oh, honey. The biggest gift you could ever give us would be to achieve that dream. Be a champion, be the best skater this world has ever seen. In our eyes you already are, but what about you? How do you see yourself?"
She stays silent, keeping the answer to herself. She knows she's capable of being the best, but not alone. No, her strength comes from James. She could never do it without him. Heck, at this point she can't even visualize herself skating with anyone else in the world. She suddenly wishes this week will be over already so they can talk.
James' parents took off right after talking to him at the Worlds venue. They tried to console him and assure him that he was still the best and this was just a bad episode, but he's only half listening to them the entire time. In the end, they have to get back to their business trip in Monaco and leave him be for the time being.
The trip back home is brutally silent. McGonagall had, as always, booked Lily and James' seats right beside each other. The two-hour plane flight from Moscow to London feels a lot longer than that, and he doesn't know who's more relieved when they land in british soil: him, Lily, or McGonagall, who could feel their tension and kept giving them both the side-eye during the entire duration of the plane ride.
The minute he gets home, he feels empty. On one side, he's happy to be left alone for now, seeing as he needs to get his head in the right place and think about what is best for both him and Lily. On the other side, he already misses her. God, how he misses Lily.
Lily. He just had to mess everything up with her. What if she decides to leave him and find another partner? What if she decides that it was just too risky to trust him to keep his feelings in check after everything that happened before, during and after Worlds? He can't risk it. He has to prove to her that anything like that will never happen again. He can be mature and respect their professional partnership.
He gets a text from Sirius, saying he's sorry about what happened and asking him if he wants some company in Cokeworth. As much as he loves Sirius, though, he knows he has to do this alone and sort out his feelings by himself.
He spends the week exercising and thinking, going on long runs across his parents' estate and popping by the rink to skate until his legs can't hold him up anymore.
Everyday when he gets home, he stares at his phone, the background photo staring right back at him. It's a selfie Lily took of them right before their first Grand Prix Final. He's making a funny face and showing off his suspenders while she makes an exaggeratedly impressed face.
His whole life. His whole life is Lily and skating, in that order. He doesn't know who to be outside of these two things. He's not sure he wants to know, either.
So when the week is up, he's made up his mind and his only objective is to fix things and prove to Lily that will get through this and that he will never let her down like this again. He's going to be seventeen in a couple of weeks, he can act like a mature adult. He has to.
Lily spent the entire week mulling over what she would say to James once they met again at the end of the week. The only logical conclusion was to ask him to ignore his feelings and focus on the sport, selfish as she felt asking him to do something like that. She couldn't – wouldn't – find another partner. James was it, she couldn't even imagine sharing the bond they shared with anyone else but him.
She gets back to Hogsmeade and texts him, asking him to meet her at the old playground near their school.
When she arrives, he's already there, which startles her, seeing as she herself arrived almost an hour before the arranged time. She stops for a moment, looking at him before he notices she's there. He looks determined, like he's ready for war and won't leave without putting up a good fight to get what he came for.
She thinks she stays there for hours, looking at him and trying to find it in herself to just take these final steps forward and face her best friend. In fact, she only stands there for a couple of minutes before he looks up and sees her.
Her body comes alive with nerves and expectation when they lock eyes. It feels like it's been years since they've seen each other. His eyes follow her as she makes her way towards him until she takes a seat at the low swing next to him.
"Hi," she says softly.
He gives her a small, hesitant smile. "Hey, Lils."
She smiles back at him, realising how much she missed this boy during that one week they spent apart. She takes a deep breath, preparing to expose all of the facts and logical reasons why they can't even think about opening this side of their lives. Does he even know how many skating pairs have been broken up by teenage hormones?
Before she can even get a syllable out, James cuts her off and takes the lead in the conversation.
"I know, I know I'm an asshole. But before you say anything, let me talk. I wanted to apologize again. I know I'm the worst partner ever and this whole week all I could think about was how much I let you down at Worlds. You're supposed to trust me, to have no doubt within you that if you jump, I'll catch you. We made a commitment years and years ago and I promised you I'd never let you down again," he was breathless but he needed to prove to her he could still be the best partner, the only partner for her.
"So I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I should have been mature and I should have put my feelings aside. Which is what I'm doing now. We have to focus on skating, on getting to the Olympics in four years, on being champions. It was our dream when we were eleven-year-old kids and it's our dream now, and all I want to do is help you reach that dream. If not for me, I have to do it for you," they stare at each other, James with determination and Lily with a look of mild confusion on her green eyes. He pulls out the necklace he never takes off out of his shirt collar and holds the silver blade out to her. "This is what's important, Lily. Our dream. Skating, and gold. That's what I'm willing to focus on from now on."
It was… exactly what she was planning to tell him. But strangely, instead of being happy they were on the same page, Lily feels a little out of balance and with a vague sense of disappointment. Maybe she's still just afraid of them not making it, of having lost their connection. Yeah, that's it.
James sees the look on her face and takes it as hesitation, so he inclines his swing in her direction, looking deep into her eyes. "Like I said when we were kids, I'll be the perfect partner. I swear it to you."
His proximity takes her out of her hazy stupor, so she returns his stare. "You know you're my best friend, right? There's literally no one in the world I trust more than I trust you," he smiles tentatively and nods his head. "And that's why I wouldn't want to go on with anyone else. It's you or nothing. You're an ass, but I can't do it without you. But you have to stick to your words, we have to focus on winning all day every day."
His eyes soften while he nods again. He gets up to pull her into a proper hug, kissing the top of her head. "I'll be the best partner ever, Lils. Believe me."
She believes him, with her whole being. She nods her head into his chest, a couple of tears gathering in her eyes. She feels him tense up a bit, feeling the wetness of her tears seeping into his shirt, but she only hugs him closer. These are happy tears. They made it through, and she just wants to hold on for as long as she can.
The next day, coach McGonagall arrives at the rink and is taken aback when she sees James and Lily spinning around on the ice, laughing in a way she hadn't seen them do in weeks. She sighs in relief, a little smile on her face as she watches the pair skate for a few minutes to the pop song playing on the stereo.
For the first time that week, she feels like she can breathe properly. She has been coaching them since they were little kids, taking care of them when they were away from their families. Nothing could make her happier than the sight in front of her, two kids doing what they love to do, together.
Winter Olympics, 4 years later
The rink is a mess of skaters zooming past each other at top speed during warmup. Everybody wants to show their competitors what they're capable of before the individual event the next day.
James and Lily are going through one of the trickier step sequences when they hear the scraping sound of blades on ice dangerously near them.
James instinctively grabs Lily, pulling her to him in a defensive position and glowering in the direction of the two blonde heads skating away from them. She grabs onto his arms when she feels him start to move in their direction.
"James, no," she hisses into his ear.
"It's the fourth time in less than an hour, how long are they going to keep this up?" he hisses in return.
She grabs his hand and starts to pull him towards the boards, where McGonagall, Remus and Peter are waiting for them. Their coach has a dark look on her face, looking as if she's ready to get on the ice and strangle Lucius and Narcissa with her bare hands.
"I have already reserved a rink downtown for you tonight, I will meet you there at eight o'clock. Rest," she says and briskly walks away.
"Phew. I don't wanna be the next person she crosses paths with," whistles Peter without looking up from his phone.
James huffs out a breath and lets his head drop, angrily running his fingers through his hair.
Lily leans against the wall beside him and accepts the water Remus offers her. "Let's try to keep our heads straight. That's exactly what they want, okay? To destabilize us."
James lets out a dry laugh. "Yeah, 'cause it's not enough to know they've got the judges at the palm of their hands with all the checks Riddle's signing."
"They're confident because of that. They think they have the gold guaranteed, which is why you need to keep focused and not lose your head, James," Remus gets into coach mode, trying to get James to calm down.
The skater takes some deep breaths, feeling some of the tension leave his body as Lily puts a hand on his shoulder, massaging the stress away. "Okay, I'm okay now."
"Good, try to keep it that way," Remus says and looks around. "Hey, where's Padfoot?"
"I think he's with Marlene at the hockey venue," says Lily. "He didn't want to be here and see his family anymore than he already has to," she motions forward with her head, pointing at the other side of the arena where Walburga and Bellatrix stood by the boards.
"I heard Regulus is using drugs. Doping," Remus says quietly, leaning his shoulder against the wall beside Lily.
James lets out a stream of profanity, remembering everything Sirius went through before the Potter family took him in. "What Orion didn't get with one son, he got with the other. Thank God he didn't make the team this year."
Peter puts his phone down. "Why?"
"Because they already caught three cases of doping this year, for one. And there's the whole thing with doping being a bad thing and all," Lily deadpans.
Peter shrugs, looking unconvinced. "Well, it's only bad if you get caught. And you have to be really dumb to get caught," three pairs of incredulous eyes stare back at him, and he frowns in response. "What?"
They all exchange a look before James speaks. "Did you hear what you just said? 'Cause I heard you say that using doping is no big deal as long as you don't get caught."
Peter shrugs again. "Yeah, and?"
Remus runs a hand through his face. "Peter, there's a reason doping is against the rules. It's a disrespect to the sports community. It allows lazy and incompetent athletes to win instead of athletes that actually worked hard to win."
"Yeah, but if they get higher marks, it means they're better. So that's not a problem, in my opinion."
James and Lily are still staring at him like they don't know him. James looks ready to punch Peter. She his body language and once again takes his hand, pulling him up. "Now is not the time, James. We have to rest and focus," he resists at first, wanting to get to the bottom of the conversation, but eventually relaxes and lets her lead him out of the arena.
Remus stays silent and refuses to look at Peter as he gathers all the gear scattered around them. The confused expression doesn't leave Peter's face as he watches Remus sling the sports bag over his shoulder and leave without another word.
It isn't until this moment that Lily really starts to believe they can do it. Which is ironic, because they are literally about to step on Olympic ice for their final free dance.
"Come here, Lils," says James, pulling her into a hug before they take the ice. They sink into one another, feeling their bodies fit together and their breaths sync. Then Remus taps Lily on her shoulder, hating to interrupt their moment but saying it's time to get on the ice.
The pair steps into the rink and does a couple of laps as their names are announced to the public and the crowd cheers them on.
They position themselves on top of the Olympic rings, looking down at them and waiting for the first notes to ring across the arena.
There is a house built out of stone
Wooden floors, walls and window sills
They start with her back pressed into his chest, his hand flying to grip her middle before she turns to him, grasping his face in her hands and skating backwards, pulling him along with her through the motions.
Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust
This is a place where I don't feel alone
This is a place where I feel at home
The melody starts to pick up as they go through their first lift, a beautiful fluid moment that starts with her going limp in his arms and ends with her on his shoulder, her legs in the air until he gently sets her down on the ice. They twizzle their way through the piano notes and the crowd cheers them on when they finish their sequence perfectly.
'Cause, I built a home
For you
For me
He spins her on the spot, securing her in his arms as her red hair whooshes around them, an auburn blur against her white skin.
Until it disappeared
From me
From you
He suddenly lets go of her and they drift apart, a look of hurt on her face as the lyrics tell the story of a love fading away, the characters hopelessly trying to grasp at everything they once meant to each other.
And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust
He goes after her, almost reaching her as she turns away, leaving his fingers to graze delicate fabric of her lilac dress. The look on his hazel eyes is one of agony as he stares at her back.
Out in the garden where we planted the seeds
There is a tree as old as me
Branches were sewn by the colour of green
Ground had arose and passed its knees
He picks up his speed, turning to look at her as he passes the spot where she stands, a lonely figure in the middle of the rink. He reaches her but she still avoids his eyes. He breathes deeply and turns his back to her.
By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top
I climbed the tree to see the world
When the gusts came around to blow me down
Held on as tightly as you held onto me
Held on as tightly as you held onto me
She tentatively touches his back but doesn't get any reaction from him. She kneels, grasping his hand and then throws herself back towards the ice, apparently giving up. He catches her, as he always does. They're back to the start, their love fresh and new. She attempts to detach herself from him but he grabs her forearm, pulling her to him with all his might. She jumps onto him, legs wrapping around his middle.
And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust
He gently, slowly, lowers her as her arms fall delicately above her head. They can feel the crowd collectively holding their breath as the last notes of the song fade away, the pair panting and maintaining their position for a few extra seconds before the sound of cheering explodes around them.
James can't stop himself from pulling Lily back up as soon as the sound hits them, enveloping her into a bone-crushing hug as she detangles her legs from his torso. She knows she'll have marks all over her back and sides from the force of his grip on her, but she can't make herself care at this moment. They forget about everything then. This moment is theirs.
They stay like that for longer than necessary, just enjoying the other and what they accomplished. Eventually, they pull away, looking into each other's eyes before bowing to the roaring crowd. They skate to the boards, hand in hand and heads held high as they see their coaching team waiting for them on the other side.
McGonagall is looking at them with the proudest look in her eyes. She hugs both of them at the same time, squeezing them with a force neither skater knew she possessed. James even thinks he sees tears in her eyes, but of course he doesn't comment.
They get to the kiss and cry, restlessly waiting for the results to come up. When they do, James jumps out of his seat and yells in euphoria before he all but grabs Lily by her arms and pulls her to him. Their score beats the highest score by almost ten points.
His happiness is contagious and she can't help but laugh into his neck, heart and soul filled with love and a sense of accomplishment she'd truly only dreamed of until this point. They pull apart, the rest of the team waiting to congratulate them on their perfect score.
When all the hugging is done, they remember that there's still two teams left and they can't celebrate just yet. They move out of the kiss and cry, going in the direction of the backstage door when Lily grabs James' hand. He looks up with a confused expression.
"I want to watch the last teams," she says, knowing he'll say no but already dragging him to the mixed area so they can watch the Bulgarian pair do their routine.
"Lily, you know we can't!" he complains but doesn't resist her pull.
She turns around, switching her hold on his hand and walking backwards, ignoring his look of worry as she balances precariously on her blade guards. "No, we shouldn't because of a stupid superstition," she raises her eyebrows at him, a spark of mischief in her eyes. "Where's the big bad James 'Marauder' Potter now? Scared?"
He thinks for a second before his own eyes light up and he's the one dragging her to watch the second half of the current program. He brings his face close to her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. "If we lose, I'm blaming you, Evans."
She snorts, elbowing him in the ribs. "Shut up, I'm trying not to freak out."
Neither of them are aware of the cameraman filming the entire exchange, too wrapped up in they after-skate glow to care about anything other than themselves.
He spends the next minutes trash talking the bulgarians' shitty footwork skills while Lily tries to stifle her giggles, hushing him and trying to keep a straight face as Igor Karkaroff trips out of his twizzle. They're not even nervous as they wait for the results, and when the score comes up fifteen points below their own, they have to fight the smug grins off their faces.
Suddenly, a hush goes over the crowd and they look up to see Narcissa and Lucius entering the rink. They're in full black swan attire, Narcissa's eyes startlingly blue behind the black makeup. The blonde pair glares at James and Lily when they skate past them during their laps.
"Of course they're doing black swan," James grumbles beneath his breath.
"I know," Lily mutters back. "Could they be any more predictable?"
Their names are announced and even Lily and James feel the need to remain silent as the song starts playing. Their program is dark, it's powerful and even a little scary. They chose the most obscure angle possible to work with, as they did with most of their programs. Lily steals a look towards their coach, Riddle – or Voldemort, as he ridiculously liked to be called – and feels a cold chill pass over her.
The song peaks at the end, going out with a loud and dramatic note. The crowd cheers for them, as they always do. James can see Sirius' parents in the crowd, not lifting a single finger in favour of their niece. He hopes Sirius doesn't run into them during these last few days of Olympics.
He turns to Lily, who's frozen on the spot, the gravity of the situation finally dawning on her. He grabs her shoulders, turning her to him and away from Riddle and the Malfoys. "Lily, don't look. Please don't look," he moves his hands to her face, forcefully drawing her eyes into his. "It doesn't matter, it's not important."
She looks at him, frowning. "How can it not be important, James?" her voice is barely a broken whisper and it doesn't seem possible that just four minutes ago they were laughing together like two carefree kids.
"We did better than them, you know that. I know that. The world knows that," he notices her trying to interrupt and cuts her off. "No, don't try to downplay what we did. It was fucking magical and you know it, so just try and trust-" he's so focused on them and making sure she doesn't lose the spark they had just minutes before that he completely misses the moment the scores appear on the big screen.
She sees it before he does, shock all over her face and he can't interpret if it's the good kind of shock or the bad kind. The crowd's roaring and there are cameras on their faces and Lily is gripping his shoulders and he just wants to know if they won gold.
He's almost shoving her hands off him when he sees the most beautiful smile in the world take over Lily's face. He stops, the question on his lips but she's already nodding, tears forming into her eyes.
"Lily, did we just win the Olympics?" he has to yell at her over the crowd's noise.
She jumps into his neck, arms locking around it tightly. "YES! Yes, James! We just won the Olympics!" she screams with all her might and he's sure he'll never feel as happy as he does right this moment again.
He tries to separate himself from her but she tightens her hold on him, not wanting to let go. "Thank you so much, James," she half laughs, half sobs into his neck.
He manages to pull away just enough so he can see her tear-marred green eyes and words could not translate the love and gratitude he felt in that gaze. He spins them around on the spot, almost knocking over the camera man documenting their reaction beside them.
He sets her down and only then notices McGonagall standing a few paces away, looking at them with tears in her eyes that she doesn't even try to conceal. James rushes to her, picking her up and off the ground just like he did with Lily, earning a yelp of surprise followed by an annoyed "Mister Potter, set me down right at this instant!" from her.
Lily doubles over in laughter at the scene, feeling like she could just keep laughing for the rest of her life and simply die of happiness. She tries to engrave that moment, that feeling, into her heart so she can cherish it forever, never letting go.
After, when they were done with all the ceremonies and immediate interviews, they find themselves lying side by side in Lily's bed at the athletes' dorms.
"We really did it, huh?" says Lily, staring at the gold medal in her hand.
" Of course we did it, Evans. I've been telling you we were gonna win the Olympics since we were 12, you're the only one that ever doubted our awesomeness," James says, bumping his shoulder with hers.
She lets out a chuckle at that. "Well, the odds weren't really in our favour and you know that," she says, her expression growing serious. "Black and Malfoy won't let this go, you saw their faces at the podium. You saw Riddle's face at the boards."
James' expression is one of pure determination when she turns on her side to face him. "Let them come for us, Lils. They couldn't win the Olympics even with all the bribing and cheating. We'll keep getting better, keep skating and winning fair and square. We don't need to stoop to their level."
"Okay, I trust you," she says in a soft voice, almost a whisper, and he turns to her with that ridiculous smile he always has on his face, messing up her hair in an attempt to lighten the mood. She squirms away from him, yelping and scooting over to the other side of the bed.
"Stop! You know damn well I hate it when you do that, Potter!" she holds out a hand, trying to keep him at bay.
"Oh, are we back to last names, Evans?" he raises his eyebrows at her.
Her arm is still stretched between them. "Only when you're being annoying, Potter."
"Oh, I see how it is, then," he lies back down. She's still suspicious but lowers her arm all the same.
He waits for her to fully lie back down, mirroring his position on the bed. When she starts to get comfortable, he jumps on top of her, tickling her sides with a newfound determination, laughing as she squirms and yelps beneath his hands.
He takes pity on her and eventually stops. She's breathless and red in the face when he flops back down beside her, and immediately starts to kick him off the bed.
"I hate you so much, James Potter ," every word is punctuated by a kick and he can only laugh at her as he gradually slides off the bed.
He lets her get a few more kicks in before grabbing her legs to stop them from hitting her. "Hey, hey! You done?"
She glares at him before freeing her legs and climbing up the bed, pulling the thick comforter over her and facing the wall.
"Aw, c'mon, Lily. It wasn't that bad, was it?" her only response is a scoff. "Okay, sorry. Won't happen again, okay?"
She slowly turns towards him, her scowl still very much into place. "I don't believe you, asshole. But it's late and I just want to sleep, so okay."
He beams up at her before climbing on the bed again and pushing her towards the other side of it. "Thank God you mentioned sleep, I'm exhausted," he ignores her indignant noises and steals the comforter from her.
"James, you can't sleep here," she says it like she's teaching a child something obvious.
He's already taken off his glasses, closing his eyes and burrowing himself deeper into the covers. "My room's too far away and I'm sleepy, so goodnight."
"But Ja-"
"I said goodnight, Evans. It's late and we have practice tomorrow," she snaps her mouth shut, still expecting him to get up and go to his room.
It doesn't happen, and soon his breathing deepens and he's fast asleep. It's a talent of his, falling asleep as soon as he closes his eyes, and she always envied him for it.
She sighs, accepting the situation and pulling some of the covers in her direction, being careful so she doesn't disturb him. She turns off the light and feels her heavy eyelids start to close, the day's fatigue finally catching up to her.
And if she wakes up the next morning with her partner's arm around her torso and their legs intertwined, well. She read somewhere that it's just a normal response when you're sleeping in the same bed as someone. No big deal, just natural instincts, of course.
Two days later, they're exhausted from all the press and attention that comes with being an Olympic champion. They're all sitting by the boards inside the loud arena as they wait for the gala practice to start.
"Ugh, could you be any more disgusting? Do you really have to be so lovey dovey all the time?" Sirius groans at Alice and Frank, who are sitting beside him and whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears.
"Sorry, are we bothering the great hockey player Sirius Black? At this figure skaters only practice?" Alice retorts with a sweet smile on her face and the Lily and James laugh. Frank pulls her closer to him, kissing her temple with an expression that proudly says "yeah, that's my fiancée."
Sirius glares at the petite girl, grumbling under his breath and pulling out his phone. He makes a point of walking away and sitting on a chair a few feet away from the two pairs. This only makes them laugh harder at him.
He's not even gone for a full minute before he comes back running and screaming. "DUDE! HAVE YOU SEEN THE INTERNET?"
Lily looks at him with an unaffected expression. "Uh… no."
Her lack of enthusiasm doesn't faze him, and he's already pushing his phone on James' face, almost hitting him in his glasses. "Sirius, calm down and get that phone off my face. Just- give that to me," he says, grabbing the phone from his friend's hands.
Lily scoots closer to him, peeking at the phone and frowning a at what she sees. "What is this? What even is 'ship'?" she looks up at Sirius with a confused expression. He's almost giddy, barely containing his laughter in.
Before he can speak, Frank makes a low whistling sound and answers. " That took a long time to happen." Now both Lily and James are looking at him with even more confused expressions. "It's the internet term for wanting people to date, like characters on a tv show or, in this case, Olympic ice dancers."
Lily just looks back at the phone before grabbing it and continuing scrolling down. Alice looks up at Frank from her place between his legs, back pressed to his chest. "How do you know that?"
"I'm a modern man, I look at the internet," he shrugs. "Also, people ship us a lot too," she smiles at him and leans up to plant a soft kiss on his lips.
" Again , gross," Sirius groans at them before focusing on James and Lily again.
Lily's pointing at the screen, eyes growing wide. "What is that? This never happened, we never kissed on the ice," she pauses, "or ever, really."
James, who hasn't showed as much reaction as Lily has, squints at the bright screen. "I… think they photoshopped us kissing, Lils."
She's already frantically moving to the next post. "This person made a whole essay on our story and how we're supposedly in love and dating in secret?" her voice gets more high-pitched with every word she says.
James, seeing how distressed she was getting, pries the phone off her hands and hands it back to Sirius. Without saying a word, he grabs her hand and pulls her up, guiding her to the locker room doors.
Once inside, he sits her on one of the benches and crunches in front of her. "Lily, breathe. It's not a big deal," he uses his soft voice with her, the one reserved for her pre-competition crises.
She still looks agitated, but eventually she looks into his eyes and starts to breathe deep, matching her erratic breaths with his calm ones.
After a couple of minutes, he feels that it's safe to talk again. "Lils, I know this is not ideal, but it's not the end of the world either."
"I know, I know. It's just weird, seeing people doing stuff like that. Photoshopping us kissing? Writing long posts and talking about us as if they've known us our whole lives? It feels weird, that's all," she shrugs.
"I know that, but it's the internet. It's filled with crazy people," he gets a smile out of her. "But can I just comment on a thing that really bothered me?"
"Yeah, sure," she thinks he's going to mention one of the posts and share her discomfort, but his answer catches her off guard.
"Am I really that disgusting?" he doesn't pause at her utterly confused expression. "'Cause FYI plenty of girls that think I'm a catch, okay? Somepeople appreciate me."
She bursts into laughter, putting her hand in his shoulder. "Oh, really? Then why are you single, Mr. Oh-so-desirable?"
"Well," his face is doing that thing it does when he's fighting a smile and Lily's smile widens, "I'm just enjoying life, you know? Can't disappoint all of these girls by settling down with just one. It's what the public wants so I give it to them."
He sees her smile falter for half a second before she talks again. "Oh, so you're a womanizer, then."
"Yes. Talk to Britney, she wrote the song about me," he loses his balance as she gets into another fit of laughter and leans both hands on his shoulders. She barely manages not to fall on top of him and then they're both laughing themselves silly.
Lily's entire face and neck are red and it only makes it funnier for James, seeing her skin and hair almost match in colour. Eventually they calm down and She sticks out a hand to help him up.
He pulls her to his side and squishes her against him with his right arm. "Feeling better? Crisis over?"
She squishes his torso right back as they walk back to the rink, already hearing the choreographer yelling at people to get into position. "Yeah, yeah. Crisis over."
The season is over.
The hotel is a mess of drunk athletes in various states of undress, loud music and drinking games. Each room provides a different type of entertainment, some serving as dance floors, some as spin the bottle or strip poker or twister venues, others as makeout places.
Lily is currently at one of the rooms serving as a dance floor, moving her body to some generic pop song as she sips some beer. She usually doesn't drink a lot, but today she feels like she deserves to get hammered. She's just become an Olympic and World champion in the span of a month. She more than deserves to celebrate.
She's already past the tipsy stage when Dorcas finds her, screams her name and pulls her by the arm into the packed hallway. "C'mon, Lils! We're playing spin the bottle."
"We're what? Dorcas, we're not sixteen anymore!" Lily protests but does nothing to stop her friend from dragging her into the circle of people sitting on the floor, dropping to the ground and sitting between Marlene and Remus.
"Hey, I didn't see you arrive. When did you get here?" she asks both of them, who seem to be in the same – if not worse – state of inebriation as her.
"Just an hour ago, Sirius snuck us in along with James," Remus says, pointing at James, who's sitting across from them, laughing at something some french skater – she thought her last name was something like Delacour – is saying to him. She frowns a bit at the sight, wondering why she had the sudden urge to kick the girl in the face.
Marlene, obviously drunk and bored, calls everyone to attention and tells them to settle down and get into position so they can start the game. Lily shakes her head, getting rid of these strange thoughts and focusing on Marlene.
They start the game and Lily laughs and whoops along with everyone as the weirdest people are paired up by the bottle in the middle of the circle. When it's Sirius' turn, he makes a big show of pulling up his sleeves in an obnoxious way before finally grabbing the bottle and spinning it. They all watch as it spins around until it finally stops. Everyone stares at the bottle and then at the person it's pointing at.
"Oh, this should be good," someone in the circle mutters.
Sirius looks from Lily to James once before plastering his trademark rakish smirk on his face. "Well, well, well, Miss Evans. Are you ready for this ?" he motions to his body, wiggling his eyebrows at Lily.
"Yo, Black! You gonna kiss your best friend's girl?" calls Edgar Bones, a British single skater.
Sirius opens his mouth to retort but Lily beats him to it. "Don't worry, Eddie. James isn't jealous, right babe?" she says in the most sugar-sweet voice she can muster.
It's only then that she looks at James and notices his eyes are dark and trained on Sirius. He feels her eyes on him and immediately cleans his expression, plastering an indifferent smirk on his face and throwing his arm around that insipid French girl.
"You're free to kiss whoever you want, partner ," they continue to stare each other down until Lily tears her eyes away from him and looks back at Sirius. She doesn't know what's wrong with James, and she's far too drunk to try to understand the way his mind works, so she craws her way across the circle and grabs Sirius by the neck, pulling him into a deep kiss and instigating catcalls and whistles from all over the room.
They detach their lips from each other moments later, a little breathless and dizzy from all the booze they've consumed. Lily's immediate reaction is to look at James but he's otherwise occupied with that damned Dalacour girl's neck. She gets up and smiles down at Sirius. "Thanks, Black. That was really delightful," and with that, she leaves the room to get another drink and get that urge to kick James and his company in the face out of her head.
Lily gets to the booze room and joins some girls in taking tequila shots. She grabs another beer on her way out and bumps hard into someone, stumbling back and almost falling over. This is prevented from happening by a hand flying out and gripping her waist, balancing her. Lily looks up and finds herself looking into Amos Diggory's golden brown eyes.
"Amos? What the hell are you doing here?" she's starting to slur her words and it's a bad, bad sign.
"Lily, hey! Sirius dragged the team here with the promise of free booze," his hand is still at her waist and Lily is all too aware of this fact.
She sees James leave the spin the bottle room hand in hand with the same blonde from earlier. He looks in her direction and sees who she's talking to, how close they're standing and Amos' hand resting on her waist, touching the thin band of skin between her shirt and her jeans.
With her eyes trained on James the entire time, Lily takes a step closer to Amos, fully pressing her body against his and purring in his ear. "Well, in this case, I'm really glad you decided to come." Amos' grip on her waist tightens as she watches James shake his head and drag Delacour to the elevator, completely ignoring the look of mild confusion on the girl's face.
She forgets all about Amos and his hands on her waist – when did his other hand even get there? – as she watches the elevator doors close and catches a glimpse of Louise – that's her name – grabbing James by the neck and kissing him.
As soon as the elevator doors shut, she remembers where and who she's with, feels Amos tugging at her waist and whispering some nonsense in her ear. She untangles herself from him and clears her throat, taking a step back.
"I'm sorry, I'm not feeling well," she says, already making a run for the nearest bathroom, locking the door and grabbing the sink to support herself. She takes some deep breaths, controlling the urge to empty her stomach on the toilet at her side. What the fuck is she doing? They've been going to parties like this for years and she's never behaved like this. Especially with James.
She decides needs to sober up and go to sleep, so she splashes some water on her face and bolts from the bathroom to the elevator, praying that she doesn't run into anyone on the way to her room.
Her prayers are answered and she gets to her room unscathed, only having half a mind to change into her pyjamas and throw herself under the covers, hoping that the sleep takes away everything that happened that night.
The next morning, James wakes up in his room after slipping out of Louise's when they were done with their evening activities. He stares at the ceiling, wondering what the hell happened with him and Lily the previous night.
Sure, they were drunk and acting stupid. And yeah, of course he didn't want her kissing any of his mates – least of all that Diggory dude. But it felt weird, like something shifted between them. Did she change her mind, after all?
He thinks back to that day on the swings four years ago, on how afraid he was to lose her. He did the right thing for them - for her - when he decided to bury his feeling and focus on their dream. He thought they were on the same page, thought she only saw him as her skating partner and occasional best friend.
Maybe he thought wrong, and maybe he shouldn't have assumed her feelings all this time.
He gets up from the bed, going through his morning routine before checking his luggage and leaving his room and heading for the hotel reception to check out. He grabs his phone on the way, calling Lily so they can meet and leave together like they'd planned. It goes straight to voicemail and he tries to call her a couple more times before finishing his check out and going to her room to find her.
He hears some movement inside and knocks on the door before opening it, Lily's name already on his lips when he sees the room maid tidying up the bed. He backtracks and reads the number on the door again before looking inside. "Excuse me, m'am? Did the girl who was in this room check out already?"
"Yes, sir. About half an hour ago, actually."
"Thank you, have a nice day," he says, already pulling out his phone to try to call Lily once more. He swears when it goes to voicemail again , switching contacts and calling Remus instead.
He's ready to just give up entirely when he hears his friend's voice. "Hey, Prongs."
"Moony, is Lily with you? She was supposed to leave with me but I can't find her and she isn't picking up," James tries not to sound too frantic.
"Last time I saw her, she was catching a cab outside the hotel," came Remus' reply after a few seconds.
James sighs and doesn't know if he should feel relieved that she was safe or irritated that she didn't even think about telling him she wasn't going home with him anymore. "Thanks, Moony. See you later?"
"Sure. I'll pop by your house later this week," he says and James hangs up, taking a deep breath before gathering his things and heading for his car.
Later that week, the boys are lounging in the Potter's living room trying to plan James' upcoming birthday party. The general consensus is that the task would be much easier if the birthday boy would actually contribute to it every once in a while.
Instead, he's just sitting on one of the armchairs and staring off into space. Not even Peter's impersonation of McGonagall got a reaction out of him.
"Prongs!" his head snaps up as Sirius' voice hits him loudly.
"What?" he winces, not meaning to snap at his friend.
Remus and Sirius exchange a look before the latter nods and the former gets up, dragging Peter to the kitchen with him.
James is already running his hands through his hair and scooting to the edge of the seat. "Pads, I'm sorry. I'm just… out of it today."
"Nah, you've been out of it since that party," the light wince that crosses James' face confirms it. "And it's my fault, I'm sorry."
"How is it your fault? You didn't do anything wrong," he pulls out his glasses with the excuse of needing to clean them, but Sirius knows better. He just doesn't want to look at him.
"Cut the crap, James. You started acting weird when Lily and I kissed, and then she acted even weirder and now here you two are, being weird."
"Wow, really eloquent, Padfoot," he chuckles and Sirius rolls his eyes.
"You got the message alright, yeah? Now let me apologise in peace, okay?" he waits for him to nod before proceeding. "I'm sorry I kissed Lily knowing you still love her or whatever, okay?"
"Okay, apology accepted," he nods. "But still, it was just a game. This is deeper, I have no fucking clue what's happening."
"Well," Sirius gets up and walks towards James, clasping a hand on his shoulder. "My work here is done. I'm gonna go get some beers and bring the idiots back here. You try to find a way to fix this before she comes back, ok?"
"Okay, oka- wait, comes back from where?" James' head snaps up as Sirius opens the door.
He turns his head back towards James. "Mate, don't you check social media? She's in Paris with Marlene and Alice, they decided to do a girls' trip to celebrate their medals and possibly cheer Lily up," and without waiting for a response, he steps out and closes the door.
James immediately pulls out his phone and opens the Instagram app. Ironically, the first pic that comes up is one of Lily and Marlene in a goofy pose trying to show off their matching bonnets with the Eiffel Tower behind them.
lilyflower: are we french girls yet? mmckinnon
His heart skips a beat as he stares at the picture. It's only been four days, but he already misses her so much. He's just so used to having her always there, right beside him. It feels weird to not see her every day.
He opens her profile, scrolling through her pictures until he stops suddenly. It's a picture of them from exactly the moment he found out about their Olympic victory. She's just jumped into his arms and her face is alight with happiness as he hugs her torso.
lilyflower: He told me we would win the Olympics 8 years ago. I hate to admit it, but you were right prongspotter! Thank you so much, partner!
The emotions from that moment seem to come back to him all at once. The happiness, the sense of accomplishment, the pride, the love. They have to fix this. For them.
The door opens suddenly and the Marauders are back with beer, snacks and all the noise that always seem to follow them everywhere they go. He quickly wipes the tears that started to gather into his eyes, meeting Sirius' gaze and nodding to signal that it's all okay. He grabs the beer Remus offers him and dives headfirst into his birthday plans. Nobody comments on his mood change.
so i started writing this fic back in march and everything was going GREAT until i had a writer's block that just never left. the second part is basically finished, all that's left to do is writing the FINAL SCENE! this is a last desperate attempt at getting some validations from the jily fandom and see if i can get my inspiration back and finish it as soon as i can. (really, guys. i haven't been able to write anything for MONTHS so pls give me some feedback)
