Title: Getting Back To You

Chapter Rating: K

Summary: After the events of 10/11/11, how can Chryed come back from the ashes of their relationship?

Disclaimer: I don't own Christian and Syed, unfortunately. If I did, they would never have split up in the first place.

I seem to be incapable of waiting for a Chryed reunion so I thought I'd do one of my own! I'm going to use the possible indication of a New Year reunion as a base and see where my mind takes me :)

It's been six weeks and two days since I made the worst mistake of my life and walked out on the only man I've ever loved. In those six weeks and two days, I've had little contact with anyone from Walford. I called Jane once, six weeks and one day ago, to let her know that I was alright. I called Roxy to tell her I was sorry for leaving her when she needed me. My fingers have lingered over the call button, ready to press for me to hear the only voice I want to hear, the voice I dread hearing again, but I've never mustered up the courage to actually make the call. Calling him will only increase the pain we're both feeling, and will make me regret my decision to leave even more.

Its Christmas day, and I'm in Brighton. We'd been so happy when we came here, all those months ago, and when I left, I just needed to be somewhere I'd felt close to him, to remind myself that we did have some good times. Jane has called me several times, but I've been ignoring her calls. I've gone for a run, despite the cold weather, trying to clear my head. My feet pound the pavement, and I feel safe. Thi is where I'm in my element. The pain in my legs is a welcome relief from the pain in my heart. It's not the first time I've spent Christmas alone, but it's something I'd hoped I'd never have to do again. I get back to the flat I'm renting and jump straight in the shower. It's a quiet affair; I rarely feel in the mood to sing in the shower these days. These days, it's all I can do to carry on and not lock myself away from the rest of the world.

For the first couple of weeks, I tried to force myself to go out, a club or a bar, and just find someone, anyone, to talk to. But after the first few attempts, I gave up. There was something wrong with everyone who seemed even the remotely bit interested in me. They were the wrong height, their hair was too short, their eyes too light. And after the first couple of weka, I realised what all the nameless men were lacking: they weren't HIM. Realising that almost made me give up and go back to Walford and beg him to take me back. But maybe Ben Mitchell, with all his faults, was right; maybe I did need someone who was straightforward, uncomplicated. But not yet. I wasn't ready to move on yet, my heart wasn't ready to let someone else in, to trust in someone else. Once bitten, twice shy. Or at least, I should be. But I kept going back to him time and time again. I always thought that, this time, it would be different. HE would be different. But I'd just been kidding myself. It would never work between us, not now. We'd hurt each other too much to just be able to forgive and forget. I loved him with all my heart, but it just wasn't enough anymore.