Prologue.

"Evans!" she heard him call across the common room, but as she stood by the portrait hole, she refused to turn around. The last thing she needed was for James Potter to see her crying.

She heard him pad across the carpet and knew he was standing behind her. Finally, she turned and stared him directly in the eye.

"Piss off, Potter." she said. Her voice hitched on his name. Hadn't it just been yesterday when she and Sev had been joking about him in the courtyard? Sev…

"Look, Evans-"

"No." She flipped her hair over her shoulder and opened the portrait.

"Evans!" He leapt out after her, even through she tried to slam the portrait on him as hard as possible. She stared at the floor for a moment. Last night, Sev had stood here, even threatened to sleep here, until she finally came out to hear what he'd had to say. This very spot… Sev had been here.

"Evans, please. Just give me a chance to… explain." She heard him as if he was miles away, but nevertheless, his words worked like magic. Ignoring the ominous pricking in her nose and the welling of tears in her eyes, she looked up at him once more.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what happened yesterday."

His eyes met her bloodshot green ones. She didn't say anything, but she didn't walk away, either.

"I shouldn't have done what I did. Sirius, Remus, Peter and I- we tried to apologize directly to him today in the halls."

"Tried?" Her voice sounded smaller and more frightened than she wanted it to.

"Well, he cursed Sirius and I before we could finish the sentence." Potter ruffled his hair sheepishly. "Padf- I mean, Sirius is still in the Hospital Wing."

A small furrow appeared between Lily's eyebrows. "I'm sorry to hear that. What happened?"

"Sectumsempra- always was a specialty of his. But Sirius will be fine- it's not like he hasn't had that one used on him before."

That seemed to be the wrong thing to say, and James realized it the instant he said it. Lily didn't need any reminding of Snape's tendencies towards the dark arts. She looked down again, and Potter's voice gained an urgent edge.

"Look- what I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry for how it affected you. I- I understand that he's your best friend. If I hadn't done what I did, he would never have said that to you, and-"

"Potter, no one made him call me a Mudblood. Not even you." Her eyes filled with tears as she stared down at the floor. He'd stood right here in this very spot, saying that he hadn't meant it… But had he? Her whole body ached for missing him.

The tears started, and she cursed herself for them. But Severus… He'd said that he was sorry, but as much as she wanted to believe him, she knew that the fact that it had "just slipped out" meant nothing. He'd called others that before, and now it was her. His radical change was suddenly so much more real. Where was he now, the Severus who was like a brother to her, the boy who had stood up for her when Petunia was jealous and who had been the first to tell her that she was a witch? Did that boy even exist anymore?

"Hey, hey…" James tried to put his hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off and instead turned to face the wall and leaned her forehead on the bricks.

"Lily?" A voice in his head remarked that it was the second time he'd called her by her first name. " I am really, really sorry."

Lily heard him, but didn't say anything, and after a moment she heard him walk away and go back into the common room, muttering the password under his breath. She felt so alone now; a sob caught in her throat and she turned to sit on the floor, leaning against the wall as Severus had done only hours before.

She was so caught up in her thoughts that she barely noticed James return with a worn Quidditch sweater, which he wrapped gently around her shivering, sob-racked shoulders.