First Meeting
It wasn't the first time he'd seen Jack Harkness. Nor was it a coincidence that he was here tonight. He'd been following the same police channels that Torchwood Three did, and he'd known the Captain would show up here as soon as he'd heard the report come in: Weevil in the park. He'd watched from the shadows until he saw the Weevil's head lowering…he was going to bite. He grabbed the large stick near his feet and hit it. The next several minutes a blur as they both fought, until the Weevil was subdued.
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It had gone well, he thought. He hadn't been retconned at least, that was a start, he thought as he walked away. He would get Jack Harkness to hire him. He had to; it was the only way to help Lisa. He'd find him again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next…until he had a job at Torchwood again.
Indispensible
He watched as Ianto moved through the hub, delivering coffee to everyone. Ianto had only been here a few weeks and already made himself indispensible to the team. Not with his field work, which Jack did plan on training him for very soon, but he'd single handedly cleaned up this place and turned the tourist office upstairs into a cover story that people may actually believe. And he was quickly working wonders with the archives as well. Things were running more smoothly than they had in years and all because he hired Ianto Jones.
That's why he'd hired him of course, they needed someone with Ianto's skills, and he would, with some training make a wonderful field agent. It had nothing to do with the attraction they'd both felt that night in the warehouse.
Morning Coffee
He moved quickly around the small kitchen, making everyone's coffee. Jack was watching him; he'd realized shortly after his first day that Jack's eyes were always on him. It made things more complicated. He needed to check on Lisa each morning, as well as at least once in the afternoon and before he left in the evening so he had to find ways to keep the Captain distracted while he disappeared, to keep everyone busy. Coffee seemed to work. He'd bring them their coffee each morning, and then claim to have work to do in the archives and no one looked for him for at least a couple hours. It always bought him a little time. He was afraid to be gone longer than that though. Not with Jack watching him so closely. There was a part of him that wanted to just tell Jack the truth. Or Toshiko. He could trust them, he thought. Then he'd hear them talk about destroying alien threats and he'd realize he could never tell anyone. So, he'd bring them their morning coffee and hope they didn't become too suspicious.
Secrets
Jack watched Ianto go through the heavy door leading to the archives. He'd claimed to be organizing them still. He wasn't, Jack had been down there, and they were immaculate. What he couldn't figure out was what Ianto was doing down in the sublevels day after day. He was hiding something and Jack didn't like it. Whatever it was, Ianto needed to tell him, he could help. They all could help.
Ianto didn't trust him though, not really. Sure, he'd go along with Jack's flirting but he didn't trust him, refused to open up to him at all, no matter how many questions Jack asked him. He couldn't force him to talk though, so he'd continue the way he had been, talking, flirting, coaxing, anything to get him to open up to him.
Deception
Jack was trying so hard to get close to him, and that worried Ianto a great deal. Was he suspicious? Or was this need to befriend him a true interest in him? He'd invited him to the gym today, and to the shooting range. He wanted to train him as a field agent. He'd gone along but had managed to avoid all of Jack's questions so far. He'd answered what he could without giving away too much, talked about his childhood, and his work at Torchwood One. He'd flirted when he should have. He knew Jack was attracted to him, and wanted to believe that's why they were here in this gym.
That didn't make him feel less guilty though. Jack had done nothing but show him friendship and kindness since hiring him, either had Toshiko or Suzie. Owen, was a different story, but the others had been nothing but kind and he was deceiving them. He looked over at Jack who was watching him so closely, so obviously liking what he saw, and Ianto felt another wave of guilt. He should just tell him the truth, lying was killing him.
Loyalty
He'd sent Ianto home with a suspension. He should fire him; retcon him and send him on his way. That's what he should do, but he can't. Ianto deserved a second chance. They all said Ianto should've been honest with them, told them about Lisa, and they'd have helped. The fact was though, they would've done the same thing they did tonight, only sooner, and Ianto had known that.
Jack stood under the water, hoping to let the pounding spray wash away the memories of the day. Things had been going so well in the last few weeks. They'd gotten past Suzie's betrayal and death, and adjusted to having Gwen working with them. Then this happened. Of the people he thought would be likely of betrayal, Ianto Jones had been low on his list.
As angry as Jack was, there was a piece of him that admired Ianto for what he had done. Not for endangering all of them, he shouldn't have done that. He admired him for doing what was necessary to protect someone he loved. He had remained so very loyal to Lisa long after any real sign of the woman he loved had died. It had been a long time since anyone had been that loyal, or inspired that much loyalty, in Jack. Too long since he'd loved anyone that much, and he missed that. In the end that's why Ianto had been suspended, not fired, Jack thought. He wasn't going to fire someone for loyalty, even if it was misplaced.
Grief
He wandered through his home, grief overwhelming him. Strangely not the grief he was expecting. His anguish wasn't over Lisa as he would've thought, it was Torchwood. Or rather the people he worked with, the people he'd betrayed. Jack, Tosh, Gwen, even Owen hadn't deserved the danger he'd put them in, hadn't deserved the lies. They'd shown him nothing but kindness…well, not Owen necessarily but the others had always been kind.
Especially Jack. He had never shown Ianto anything but friendship and trust. He'd given Ianto a job and did what he could to make him part of the team and he'd treated him unfairly. He knew he was more to Jack than someone to clean up his shit, but he'd been angry and lashed out. Lashed out at Jack when he was angry with himself. Now he had several weeks of suspension to mourn the loss of the friendships he'd been starting to build. Weeks spent here in this house, unless Jack changed his mind and decided to retcon him. Part of him kept expecting Jack to show up with any second.
He froze in his tracks when the doorbell rang.
Understanding
"Why don't I make us coffee instead?"
"What's wrong with what I brought?"
"If you're going to retcon me, I'm not going to make it that easy."
"Why would I…never mind, I'm sure it'll taste better anyway."
"Why are you here, if not to retcon me?"
"You aren't fired. I can't fire someone for loyalty."
"I betrayed you. You trusted me and I lied to you, for months. That's not loyalty."
"You were loyal to Lisa."
"I was an idiot. I do realize that, you know. She wasn't Lisa anymore. I lied to you and hurt you when all you'd done is show me friendship for something that looked vaguely like the woman I loved."
"You loved her. You didn't want to see what she had become."
"I don't see how it matters, not to you. I could've gotten you killed."
"But I'm not dead."
"I think the question still stands then, sir, why are you here?"
"Because I want to know if that loyalty can extend to something beyond Lisa. Can you be that loyal to Torchwood? To me?"
Honesty
Jack sat at the small table in Ianto's dining room, watching as the other man moved around the room, gathering their dishes and moving them into the kitchen. Today was the last day of Ianto's suspension and Jack felt confident he'd made the right decision in keeping Ianto at Torchwood. They'd spent most evenings here, in Ianto's flat, talking about…well, everything. Ianto's childhood, his job at Torchwood, Lisa, what had happened that night. They had even discussed, at length, Jack's motivations, for hiring him, and for not giving him retcon and sending him away after the Lisa incident. Jack had been honest about both, more honest than he'd been in a very long time with anyone, including himself.
He'd admitted that he had been attracted to Ianto from that first day in the park. He'd hired him partly for that reason, and partly because anyone that determined to work for Torchwood would be a good employee. He also admitted that he'd known from the beginning that there was more going on than Ianto had told him. He'd been a conman for a good part of his life, he recognized when he was being conned. And yes, his infatuation with Ianto had allowed him to ignore that and hire him anyway.
Jack had even admitted that he was impressed by Ianto's devotion to his girlfriend. No matter how misguided it might have been, he'd been loyal, willing to risk everything to protect her. That's what saved Ianto's job and memory. The idea that Ianto—that anyone—could care that deeply for another person was something Jack didn't want to lose, he wanted the chance to have that in his life.
"Are you saying you're in love with me?"
That question had completely thrown Jack. Was he in love with Ianto? No, he didn't think so; he hadn't known him long enough to truly believe that was possible. He loved him, he wanted him, but he wasn't ready to say he was in love. So he'd answered as honestly as he could, and Ianto had accepted the answer.
Tomorrow they'd both be at work. They'd continue rebuilding what they'd lost. Ianto's job was going to change; he needed to be more a part of the team. Not just a butler or a tea boy. Tomorrow things would be different, for both of them.
Changes
Ianto felt Jack's arm tighten around him as he slept. So much had changed in so short a time. He hadn't even been at Torchwood Three for a year and his entire life had changed. Most of those changes in the last few months. Lisa was gone, and he'd moved on…to Jack, oddly enough. He still didn't know how exactly that had happened but sometime between Lisa's death and his first outing as a field agent he'd fallen for his boss. He tried to move Jack's arm, without waking him. As much as he loved the closeness and needed someone tonight he was still bruised and sore from his 'tenderizing' and the weight of Jack's arm was becoming painful. The more he tried to move the arm, the more Jack tightened his grip on him. Ianto decided to settle for moving slightly, shifting his body so Jack's arm was resting slightly lower, off the worst of the bruises. In the end, Ianto didn't want Jack to move his arm. For the first time in a very long time he felt safe and a protected, and he wanted to hold on to that as long as he could. All the talks he'd had with Jack while he was suspended, all of Jack's claims of caring for him, tonight he finally felt that it was true, Jack did care for him and would protect him. Ianto would simply have to work on making Jack love him later.
