A/N: I love the idea of the family relationship between the Avengers. This is my attempt to sorta explore the relationship between Tony and Natasha
R&R, we writers gotta get better somehow :)
Enjoy :)
Safe for Now
Faceless men reach out for her. Filthy hands run across her naked skin. Rancid breath washes over her. Sickening kisses are showered on her body. Bruises litter her flesh. Knives drag across and leave deep wounds. Her face feel wet, whether from tears or blood she doesn't know. The scene changes. The faceless men vanish and now the God of Mischief is leaning over her ravaged body. A cruel smile stretches across his face. His spear presses lightly on her chest, right above her heart. His eyes rake her body. She can't help the fearful shiver that runs through her. His smile widens. 'Don't worry, my spider.' He hisses. 'I won't kill you.' She doesn't relax, there's always a catch with Loki. The scene shifts again. Now Clint is over her. An arrow is digging into her heart. Blue eyes stare back at her. Loki's venomous whisper echoes around her. 'I'll have him kill you slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear!' And as the Hawk closes in on her, she screams.
Natasha flew out of bed with dagger in hand. Her entire body was shaking uncontrollably. Eyes danced wildly around the room but find no danger.
Just a dream. It was just a dream. She repeats it to herself over and over. Slowly, her body stops shaking. She closes her eyes and breathes deeply. Just a dream. Blue eyes appear behind closed lids. Her eyes snap back open.
She glares at her bed. Sleep was definitely out of the question now. No way was she going to be able to sleep after that.
She quietly leaves her room and makes her way down the long hallway. Five other doors besides her own lined the hall. Tony had given each of them multiple floors to call their own. But somewhere along the way they had all migrated to this one floor for sleeping. It was…comforting to have everyone so close together. Even for her, who trust was not easily given.
The first door she came to was Clint's. She desperately wanted to go inside and curl up next to him. She trusted him more than anyone else. Even after everything with Loki. It had taken a long time to get him to stop apologizing. Even longer to convince him she didn't hate him for it. She could never hate Clint. They were partners, through and through. Nothing would ever change that. They would always be together. She…loved him. She hesitated a second longer before she continued down the hall. He had just got back from a mission earlier in the day. He needed his sleep.
She passed by three other doors to get to the stairs. She could hear the silent breathing of Steve and Bruce and the loud snores of Thor. Just as she was about to head downstairs, a moan from Tony's room caught her attention. His was the only room on the other side of the stairs. She hesitated between going to check on him or run down the stairs like the hounds of hell were on her. It was no secret that Tony was a playboy. Was being the key word. Now that he had Pepper, he didn't bring home strange one night stands. But if she were to walk in on him and Pepper…
But then she remembered that Pepper had gone on a business trip a few days ago. A fearful moan sounded from his door. Natasha quickly made her way to the door. She pressed her ear to the wood. Nothing.
"Stark?" She waited a minute but received no answer. She reached down and quietly turned the doorknob and slowly opened the door. It took only a second for her eyes to adjust.
She doesn't know exactly what she was expecting but it definitely wasn't the billionaire writhing in his sheets in as if he was in pain. His eyes shot around wildly behind closed lids. One hand gripped at his chest, covering the arc reactor. The other hand a death grip on the sheets. A tortured moan escaped his clenched teeth. She quietly made her way to the side of the bed he was on.
"Stark?" Another moan. A whimper. "Tony?" she whispered a little louder. She reached out to shake his shoulder. The instant her fingers toughed his shoulder, he lashed out. A surprisingly strong hand grabbed her arm and yanked it towards him. The next thing she knew, she was laying under a somewhat awake Stark. His eyes were cloudy, still lost in whatever nightmare plagued him. His hands moved to her throat.
Her eyes darkened. She was not some understanding little damsel who was going to let her choke him while she pleaded for him to wake up. Instinct took over and quick as lightening she tossed him off her. He rolled to the side, closer to the edge than she thought and she winced when he hit the floor with a soft thunk. The blanket muffled his fall.
He groaned. She scooted closer to the edge to see that he was waking up. He had landed on his back, thankfully. It would most likely hurt him if he landed belly down. She could imagine the pain landing on the reactor would cause. She shivered just thinking about it.
"What the…?" His voice was raspy and groggy from sleep. He was breathing heavily from the nightmare. His body shook just like hers had not too long ago.
"About time you woke up."
His unfocused eyes darted towards hers. "What…the hell are you doing in hear!"
"I –" She stopped. She was just about to admit to having a nightmare. Her – the fearless assassinator – almost admitted to Tony Stark – no rules gossip boy – that she had a bad dream.
"You woke me up."
His looked clearly said he didn't believe her. He threw his covers back on his bed and right on her head. She angrily struggled out of the blanket and glared at him. But Stark wasn't looking at her. He was staring off at something only he could see. His nightmare pulling him back in, even when he was awake.
"Hey…" She stopped again. His breathing was speeding up. Almost gasping. Panicking. Both hands pressed tightly into his chest as if he was trying to dig something out.
"No…" he whispered. "No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!" In a flash she was in front of him with a hand over his mouth. It wouldn't do to wake everyone up. His hands left his chest and grabbed her arm to pull it away. She let him. "No, no, no." he kept mumbling. She watched him closely. This was not some normal nightmare. She remembered the time they had taken Steve to watch the fireworks. The guy had completely flipped out. PTSD.
She had known what Stark went through in Afghanistan. She was the only one out of the five who knew. It wasn't in Stark's file. He wouldn't have wanted the team to know about that. No, she had been given the little details from Pepper when she had been his assistant. She had known but dismissed it as the past and therefore, unimportant. She had been through a hell of a lot and managed to get over it. But she had been trained to deal. Tony hadn't. And still isn't.
She mentally berated herself. She should have known.
Against her better judgment, she put both hands on his shoulders. He flinched. "Come on, Tony. Your here. No Afghanistan, okay? You're home. You're not there. Come on, Tony…" She continued to babble in quiet whispers.
It seemed like an eternity before his trembling lessened. His mumbling ceased. His breathing gradually evened out and his eyes cleared and began to focus on hers.
"…Natasha?" His voice was even raspier than before and painfully loud in the otherwise quiet room.
"Shhh…You'll wake the others."
His eyes shifted slightly as he studied her. He was confused, grateful, and…angry? Yes, angry, but not at her. Only at himself. She understood. She had seen a weakness in him. Then she realized her hands were still on his shoulders. She withdrew them quickly.
He studied her curiously. The bright light of the arc reactor illuminated her sunken in eyes and the strained lines of her face. Much like his own.
His eyes shifted again. And the anger was back. For a guy who claimed he had no heart, Stark showed a lot of emotion.
He looked away from her and went back to his bed. "Get out." He whispered angrily as he sat down. The bed dipped with his weight.
Her momentary shock briefly displayed across her face before she got control of it. "Excuse me?"
"Get out." He whispered louder as he rubbed a hand across his eyes. Now she was not some feely feely person who talked to people about their feelings. She was also not the person to go about comforting another. In her book it was a 'live with it' kind of world. She could deal with it when he was under his panic attack because he wasn't really there. But now that he was mostly awake and consciously in control, she was way out of her element.
Yet, even with all this, she knew she couldn't leave Stark alone after that. It wouldn't be right.
She quietly walked towards him and sat down next to him awkwardly. He tensed. His fists clenched in his lap. "I don't want your damn sappy therapy talk. Get. The. Hell. Out!" his voice was dangerously close to too loud.
She looked at him pointedly. "Do I look like the person to give you a pity party?"
He glared at her once but then his whole body slumped in defeat. "No, sorry. I just want to be alone."
She considered leaving. She really didn't want to be here. He really didn't want her here.
She looked away from him. "I had a nightmare." She admitted. A weakness for a weakness. It was only fair. His eyes softened a little. His hand gently grasped hers. Their fingers threaded together.
"Loki was there. And Clint." He squeezed her hand sympathetically. She didn't need to say more. He knew. Everyone had heard what Loki threatened that day. "It's always the same."
"Mine too." Neither were looking at one another. "Different, but always the same."
She doesn't know how long they sat there. Neither of them said anything after that. Eventually her eyelids started to droop. Odd, usually she could never fall back asleep after that particular nightmare. A yawn from the man next to her followed by the confused glance to his pillow and she realized it was the same for him, too.
She stood slowly. Her hand sliding out of his. She might as well sleep if she can.
A gentle hand wrapping around her wrist had her looking back into his chocolate eyes.
"Stay." He mumbled quietly but her expert hearing picked it up. She raised an eyebrow at him and, unbelievably, she could have sworn he blushed a little, but it was gone in a flash.
He flashed his famous playboy smirk before returning to semi-serious. Tony Stark didn't do complete seriousness unless he was pissed. "Not that way. It's just…I just…" he broke off irritated, not knowing how to say what he was asking for. He didn't have to, she understood.
"Okay."
He looked momentarily surprised before grinning that childlike grin of his. He settled down into the bed. She slowly lowered herself onto the bed. It was small for something of Stark's. With him the bigger and more expensive, the better. The small bed was most likely a ploy to get Pepper to snuggle with him. And, apparently, her. He was staring at her with a half playful, half semi-serious expression.
"What?"
"You're not gonna kill me in my sleep, are you?" His answer was a pillow thrown at his face. Which was immediately followed by his quiet laughing.
Her smile immediately followed. She lowered herself next to him, her head resting on his chest. His arm wrapped around her. With how close they were, pretty much molded against one another, it was surprisingly not intimate. She didn't think of him that way anyways. He was a friend. A…brother to her.
"Goodnight, Tony." She mumbled.
"'Night, Tash." She lightly kicked him for using the nickname.
He fell asleep first. His light snores filled the silence. The gentle hum of the arc reactor was like a lullaby. And, just beyond it, a steady heartbeat followed. A small smile played at the corners of her mouth. She knew the nightmares wouldn't end anytime soon. She knew new ones would eventual replace the old ones and the nightmares would continue. She knew it was possible that Tony would never recover from his PTSD. They would always have fears. Always have something that terrified them beyond reason. But for now, with her head buried into Tony's chest, she knew they were okay. That for now, they were safe.
And she soon drifted off to sleep to dream of beautiful hawks and iron heroes.
A/N: so this didn't turn out exactly how I was planning. I got frustrated trying to write parts of it and some parts seem rushed and others too slow. I don't really know. Maybe I'll retry writing this later on. Figured since I went through all the effort I'd let ya'll read it :P
So whatcha think? Good? Bad? Worse thing you've ever read (:P)? I wanna know please! :)
