Just another little ditty that skipped merrily through my brain. Not much seriousness. This is my experiment with distinctive character traits. I'll try to make them individual and varied.

This was recently renamed because the content had shifted slightly from a weak plot to utter chaos. Plot? There's suppose to be one?

Warnings: AU, OOC, takes place 7th year but much of what happened in the books is null. Cursing, screaming, lots of running around, mass insanity, hallucinations, drug use (involuntary?), multiple pairings, Muggle bashing, violence, desecration of public property, arsine, and much much more. Don't take this seriously. I don't have a stance on drug use.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Not yours either for that matter.

Fear and Loathing in Hogwarts

Chapter 1: What do you expect from a Slytherin?

Muggle Studies was a complete waist of time. Not only were the facts probably wrong or skewed (If Granger or Potter's incredulous faces were any indication) but they ultimately made Draco dislike the little maggots even more. What gave them the right to parade out in the open like badly dressed peacocks and make Wizards hide in the shadows? Wizards should be lording over them. It was only right. Who ever invented spandex should be flogged publicly. Draco thought as he sneered at a picture of an over weight Muggle family going to Disney World. Fanny-packs as well. He added.

"And so, with the inability to make a picture move, the Muggle world developed a contraption called the 'television set' to fill the void." Professor Caerolin, a tall thin woman with short black hair and an abnormally pointy nose with equally abnormal pale blue eyes that looked almost white, said at the front of the class. She had a nasally voice and a habit of sniffing in between sentences and it irked Draco to no end. "The Muggles tend to use technology to make up for not having the ability to utilize magic."

"Why don't we use technology too? To stay above the status quo?" A Slytherin boy to the right of Draco asked. He thought he remember the kid's name. Tidus McFinney or something. He was the type of guy that looked like he never got enough sleep. Dark circles were in permanent residence under his eyes. They clashed horribly with the mangy black hair and pasty skin. At least with Draco's pale skin he had a certain glow.

"Mr. McFinney." Professor Caerolin said with infinite patience. Draco rolled his eyes. "If that were the case, wouldn't we be Muggles?"

"No…" McFinney furrowed his brows. "No we wouldn't."

Whatever McFinney was going to say next was cut off by the announcement that class has ended. He scowled and shoved his books and supplies in his handbag with a bit too much force. Draco was a little amused.

"You know, no matter how much technology they have, they are still beneath us." Draco assured his fellow Slytherin. McFinney paused and glared at Draco.

"Its attitudes like that…" He leaned forward and rested both hands on the desk for support, "that keep us in the dark ages. It keeps us in the dark!"

"Do tell." Draco said steely. He never took kindly to ANYONE talking to him like that. However, his curiosity was enough to let it go. If he liked what the boy had to say, that is. If not, well there's always the option of making McFinney's life hell. Either way, Draco won.

"We are superior because we can use magic while the Muggles rely on technology to attain similar reactions." McFinney's hands flew up as he ranted. Draco leaned his hip on a desk and tilted his head as he listened. "If we harnessed technology as well, consider the possibilities! It might make our lives easier as well. We could use pens instead of quills. Light-bulbs instead of flame!"

"Those are relatively small." Draco drawled. He was getting bored. "Besides, each of those things causes waste. As soon as the ink runs out on pens, the Muggles throw them away. Same goes for light-bulbs."

"Oh, look. The Slytherins are conspiring." Ron said from the other side of the room. Apparently the golden trio was stopped by Tidus McFinney's rant and decided to listen in. "How shocking."

"Well…" Harry shifted his weight and shrugged. He looked at his fellow Muggle raised friend for support. "Malfoy has a point."

"Yeah…" Hermione mumbled as she found her toes very interesting.

"What do you mean?" Ron looked at them. He didn't know all that much about Muggles and what he got was from his father or the Muggle Studies class. He wasn't entirely sure how correct either of them were.

"They mean that Muggles, in their bothersom search for magic, throw a lot of stuff away." Draco snapped.

"You know, come to think of it. Everything that Muggles have, Wizards have a version of." Harry speculated and Draco nodded.

"Yes, but usually better." Draco was sure to add.

"Rollercoasters…" Hermione smiled hesitantly.

"Brooms!" Ron grinned. He was sort of proud that he could make the comparison between the two things. Also, that he knew what a Rollercoaster was.

"Telephones." Harry added while making the hand gesture for a phone and putting it up to his ear.

"Fireplaces." Draco said. He had heard of Telephones before but the hand gesture confused him. He took to looking oddly at Harry.

"Planes!" Hermione was smiling fully now, Challenging Harry to a battle of Muggle Vs. Magic.

"Apparation." Harry grinned at her. The two purebloods bobbed their heads back and forth between the two muggle-raised students.

"Computers!" Hermione said triumphantly.

"Ooooh!" Harry awed. "What for?"

"email" Hermione thought about it a moment.

"Patronis." Harry grinned.

"Typing." Hermione's eyes narrowed.

"You know that spell that Rita Skeeter uses to write while she's asking questions?" Harry asked and Hermione nodded. "Well, that."

"DRUGS!" McFinney, hating to be ignored, blurted out. All four of the present students looked at him in question. "Muggles have drugs. Wizards normally stick to butterbeers and firewiskey but Muggles have found all sorts of different things."

"Who needs drugs when you can find the right potion and grow a second head?" Harry asked. He grinned and rolled his eyes.

"That gives you a terrible headache afterward." Draco added as if he knew from experience. Ron nodded.

"The second head insults you constantly." Ron said.

"Terribly annoying." Draco and Ron shared a brief look of understanding before looking away again.

"Also, and I can't believe no one has mentioned this, it's ILLEGAL to do drugs." Hermione shook her head in annoyance.

"Muggle laws…" McFinney shook his head as if he thought the laws of men were cute but nothing to be worried about.

"Yes, LAWS, meant to be followed…" Hermione tried vainly to get the boys on track.

"I think that Muggle drugs, even if I cared to know what they were, would still be horribly inferior to Wizard potions and spells." Draco was done with this conversation. He picked up his items and started toward the door.

"I wonder if Wizards ever experimented with potions that would have the same effect as drugs…" Harry wondered aloud as he too started to leave the room, followed by a bickering Ron and Hermione as they argued about Muggle Laws and why there were placed. They had forgotten the other student as they went about their business.

Left alone in the room, Slytherin Tidus McFinney's mind was working in overdrive. He watched everyone leave the room but Potter's last words echoed in his ears. What if Wizards DID make more powerful drugs than Muggles? It was entirely possible. Wizards were superior in every way. They have proven that time and time again. All he had to do is make better drugs than Muggles using potions and spells. He has just the subjects to test them on too. He wasn't going to let this go and he certainly didn't think it was a joke. Hoenestly, what did they expect? He was slytherin!