HOW ANGULAR ROOFS CAME TO BE (

There was a rather physically disturbing middle aged man by the name of William Shingles who had invented the modern day roof. Due to the point that he had to much time on his hands, and the fact that no one would come near him (because of his abnormal ugliness) he decided to invent something to keep him occupied and distracted from his rather depressing hellish life.
So in the early fall of 1761, William Shingles, at the age of 32, decided to move out of his disgusting village and go some place where he wouldn't be taunted or teased. He ended up in a forest clearing in the middle of present day Southern England.

(NOW HERE'S THE STORY)

As William wandered around the valley for a few days, he became very tired and cold, He wanted to have something to keep him warm during the harsh seasons. He started to build up sturdy walls that he had also invented (before he left). But the problem was, he didn't really like the feeling of living under a straw roof or mud dome. what he wanted was something that would last him a life time, and not break down and kill someone (like his unfortunate parents). For example, a mud dome, it could instantly collapse at anytime or wash away while you are asleep; or a straw roof could start on fire when Jimmy and his little gang decide to have a little fun around your house. So with all the time in the world, he decided to make a wood roof, (At least for now).
First, he tried having a flat roof, but every time the wind blew or too much rain got on it, it would collapse and break right down the middle. He though very hard, and one day, while he was having his usual breakfast of freshly caught raw squirrels and non-sugared berry juice tea, his ugly little brain started to function properly and it gave him the idea of an angular roof. He thought: An angular roof... like a triangle... right? It... it... it would be able to keep the snow and rain off of it!!! And... and... stuff! Now why didn't I think of this before!
So instead of a flat roof surface, he started to invent the modern day angular roof. He started to work every day of that month and into the next. The pain of having sharp wood cut into his tender spotted hands and having a broken finger from accidentally thinking it was a think nail, he finally finished his invention on the 13th of November in 1761.
William Shingles died a short time later from a mental illness known as Audio Hallucination (where you talk to people that aren't really there) and also from a strange case of malaria. We believe that he died the following year in the middle of June.
William was discovered by a group of 8 men, unfortunately killing 5 of the men, due to the putrid smell and ugliness of his face. The other three survived, but they were emotionally damaged and put away at the Mad House in London, England for the rest of there living days. In the documents, everyman who survived seemed to mention the angular roof, and how wonderful and brilliant it was. So the mad house doctors decided to check it out. They thought it was marvelous, and shared it with everyone they knew and took credit for having thought of it.
What happened to William Shingles? They had taken him back to see if anyone had known him or was related. No one knew who he was, so they cremated his body, and that's why no one knows anything about William Shingles. Except for me and now you. He came to me into a dream and said that he had invented the roofs and that he wanted people to know that. So it is my duty to tell you folks that William Shingles invented the roof, and those loony doctors at the mad house didn't invent it. Now tell everyone that WILLIAM SHINGLES invented the present day roofs. (

They know! They know! Now go away! I told them! Leave me alone! Go bug someone else! I already have enough things to worry about...