I wake up early, which isn't a surprise. I haven't been getting much sleep for the past two weeks. I feel her beside me. She is snoring lightly which makes me laugh. She always tells me she doesn't snore and all I can say is "sure". I slowly slide out of bed being careful not to wake her. It is 6:30 in the morning and you can still some darkness outside but the sun is gradually coming up. I already miss being beside her. I go to the bathroom and turn on the shower. I turn the knob to the left making sure not to turn it all the way up because she always complains that I don't leave her any hot water. I undress my bed clothing as I see the steam start pouring from the shower. As I step, in the hot water makes me shudder but I get use to it letting it spread all over my skin. I look to the side where the shampoo's are located. I first pick up hers and smelled the bottle. Every morning since we got back together I have been doing this. It is like a pick me up. Then I pick my shampoo, the one she bought for me because I ran out of my old stuff. As I a place the shampoo in my hair all I can think about is her. Her face, Her body, Her mind all of it enters my brain. I rinse the shampoo out of my hair. Then comes the soap, our soap since we both use the same kind of soap. Then memories come back to me the first time we showered together washing each others bodies. I clean my self as if I am real dirty. I feel dirty. I let the water rinse the soap off and I shut the shower off drying my self off. I let the towel seep up the wetness from my body. I look at my self in the mirror. I don't see my self in it. The only time I see my self is when I am with her. I feel like a shadow of who I am now. I just wish I could put my arms around her and never let her go which I know will not happen.

I enter the bedroom again, seeing that she is still asleep hogging both sides of the bed. I can't help but smile. Then I put my robe on and head down to the kitchen. I start making some coffee while I turn on the television. I look at the news and see Katie Couric. I laugh to my self knowing what I use to do in the morning. I look outside my window and to see the scenery from my back yard.

Different thoughts enter my head.

Should I tell her? Will she leave me? I know, which is still too many people. She will be upset. I hate seeing her cry.

As I am thinking, I feel a pair of slender come across my waist and head nestled against my back. I can tell that is it her. I don't even have to look at her. It's the bond we must have when we are close. She knows I am thinking about something. She takes my hand in hers.

"What's up?" She asked me.

"Nothing." I say. Maybe she buys it but I doubt it.

She walks in front of me and looks straight into my eyes. She is in her robe and has her hair in a ponytail. Which is defiantly a turn on. She knows that something is wrong. But she also knows I am not ready to tell her. She wraps her arms around me and gives me a tight hug. God I love her. I love her more now than I have ever loved her.

I am surprised that she is here in Los Angeles with me. Traveling was the biggest reason for the break up between her and Pacey. He wanted her in Capeside and she didn't want to go back to her hometown. The one she tried to escape all through high school. But it wasn't the only reason she tells me now. She said "That in the back of our minds that we both knew I would always be thinking of you. My soulmate."

I was taken a little by surprise when she told me that. We have only been together for three months. I know it hasn't been long but I never felt happier. We still haven't made love but to me that doesn't matter. Well yeah I miss her skin on mine. I miss that feeling when we are making love. But being with her is enough.

I know she goes back to New York in a few days so I have to tell her soon. I wish I didn't but I do. I know this could be end. The end of Dawson and Joey for good. We have gotten this final chance to be together and now this has to happen.

She speaks which takes me out of my thoughts.

"How bout I make breakfast?" She asks with a smile.

"No I will." I say moving closer to her.

"Dawson, it is my turn." As she leaves my grasp.

I feel lonely again that she is not near me. I already miss touching her skin and she is only teen feet from me. Maybe she things I am needy and clingy. But I am also afraid. I am afraid that she will leave me again. I don't think I would be able to bare being with out her again. It's been to hard. I know I have to tell her and I will tonight.