A/N: Quick note, this was written because of an idea by 'Haven'
I asked the poster if I could take a quick crack at it and she said it was cool, so not my idea but I did write this.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to CC!
200 Years
People come and people go as fleeting as the weather, and Magnus had been around for more turns of the season than he cared to count. Things could change so quickly, seemingly significant parts of his life could pass in the blink of an eye but it would be his curse to dwell upon them forever. When he had been younger and more foolhardy he treated relations as any mortal would, ignoring the irrefutable fact that he was not in any sense mortal. Scars he always carried, his parents being the earliest of them, followed by the odd lover he allowed himself to fall too deeply for. It all ended though, like everything did, nearly two hundred years ago.
Magnus had, had his last great love. Had he known then that those blue eyes would haunt the back of his thoughts for eternity he never would have handed his number over so long ago. Maybe if he had made the boy immortal they would still be together and he would not feel incapable or unworthy of deeper connection but that was not the case and Magnus could not bring himself to love another.
With time everything changes, fashion being amongst the most comforting for the glittery warlock. Though he could hardly refer to himself as glittery anymore, shiny might be more accurate, with all the metallic material and gold jewelry he sported these days. He had friends, clients, cats and fashion but nothing substantial, the key to happiness with eternity stretched out before you was not to form attachment. Fashion he could bury himself in shamelessly though, because it changed with him and would never die.
After a few hours in front of his mirror Magnus deemed himself suitable to present to the world. Today seemed like a good day for a walk, it had been so long since he had been outside. Most of the walkways within the city were now sky tunnels so finding a reason to actually go outside into direct sunlight was important. Some old park paths were still used by the odd health nut and maintained by the city for such and Magnus could think of nothing better to do with his time.
It was chilly out, the wind licking along his collar and ruffling his previously styled hair. This was close to a path he once walked with his former lover, the actual old walkway had been covered years ago but it was the closest thing to it. There was once a time that Magnus tried not to think of Alec, of the betrayal and inevitable end of their relationship. But in the last couple decades he had learned to embrace the memory of his past love, he was long gone, but honoring his memory with fond reflection was appropriate. Considering how the young Shadowhunter had changed him, how much he had learned about himself from the boy.
Strange, there was someone sitting on a bench a ways up, these paths were normally abandoned. As Magnus approached he could swear his memory was playing tricks on him, the man looked like Alec, that couldn't be true but he couldn't stop staring, the resemblance was uncanny. When he was close enough for the stranger to hear his foot steps, the other's head lifted and their eyes met.
"Impossible. . ." Magnus heard the word escape his lips, not having intended to say anything at all. Blue eyes stared up at him, re animated in a way he could not quite place his finger on, but they were undoubtedly those that haunted his dreams.
Alec sat upright, looking over Magnus with his features set in an unreadable fashion. It unnerved Magnus; Alec had been so easy to read back then, what changed?
"Hey, it's been a long time." Alec spoke softly, maintaining eye contact and gesturing for Magnus to take the seat next to him.
"That's a bit of an understatement." Magnus was still staring, eyes wide as he took the seat next to his former lover and his heart fluttered.
"This is the first time I've been in the area since my sister passed, but I suppose it shouldn't surprise me that you're still in Brooklyn. I didn't really think, sorry."
"Why are you apologizing?"
"Last I checked you never wanted to see me again." Alec gave a sad smile and it broke Magnus's heart all over again. "After I stopped trying to contact you back then I sort of just accepted it and I know it doesn't mean anything now but I am still sorry."
"How are you here Alexander?" Magnus asked, still captivated by the ocean blues.
"Oh, you didn't hear? I thought you would have. . ." Alec looked shocked but covered it quickly. "I guess I assume too much. I suppose it was about a year and a half after I last saw you, Angel it's crazy to think how long it's been. I began dating another Shadowhunter, he and I were sent to the Canadian border on a mission to clean up a mess that a few local vampires had made. Needless to say it didn't go so well." His eyes darkened as he reflected, the blues in his eyes clouding like a storm overcoming the sea. "It was supposed to be a simple mission, but we underestimated their numbers. They killed Joel. At least I was with him when he passed. They bit me, said it was a message to the Clave about meddling in their affairs." Alec let out a struggled laugh. "Such petty things."
Magnus didn't know what to say, there was so much he needed to process. Alec had moved on, and then done the one thing Magnus was never brave enough to do; watch his lover die. And now here he was, immortal and entirely uninterested. Magnus couldn't blame him. The Shadowhunter was always the brave one, contrary to what others seemed to believe, it's something Magnus always knew.
Before Magnus could response Alec continued; "I couldn't live in the institute after that, I had to go out on my own. It was rough but I made it work the best I could at the time. Simon offered to take me in but I was a bit hard headed back then. . ." Magnus didn't like Alec talking about the boy he had known in the past tense, it felt wrong. "I turned him down because of my pride. Jace let me drink his blood so I could go out in the sun, then I left my family and went out on my own."
"Why didn't you come find me? I would have helped you, you know that right?"
"I know." He answered simply. "That's why I didn't come to you. Like it or not Magnus, you are kind at heart and I didn't want to take advantage of you, especially considering I knew how you felt about me at the time." Magnus's chest tightened, he had suffered alone because he was too concerned about their quarrel to come to him. That's never what Magnus wanted; he had loved him, or maybe still loved him. Still loved him, two hundred years was enough to glaze over any old kinks.
Magnus wrapped an arm around Alec's shoulder, pulling him into a slight hug and resting his forehead against the shorter males. "I don't think I ever stopped loving you." He whispered, but Alec pulled back.
"Magnus . . ." A look of hurt gracing his angelic face.
"Alexander, what is it?"
Alec shook his head, blood lightly pooling around his eyes but not spilling; tears of the undead. "I can't do this Magnus, I don't want this again." He indicated that he meant the two of them together with his hands, Magnus's arm fell helplessly.
"I spent a lot of time being angry Magnus; I did a lot of things I regret now because of that anger. The feelings I once had for you were new and overwhelming, you were my life and that was ripped from me. Then just as I recovered from that I had my actual life stolen from me, and that of someone I loved. I was there to see my family all age and pass, my entire life melted away. What I've taken from all of this is that I can't have these things Magnus." He leaned against the warlock lightly. "I can't make these attachments and live forever to regret them."
Alec had figured out so quickly something that had taken Magnus nearly one thousand years to piece together. But Alec was supposed to be his exception, his final and strongest love. The love to end all loves, or at least that was how he had regarded him. The closest he had ever gotten to sacrificing his own immortality.
"But darling, we are both immortal now, you won't have to watch me die." He whispered, pleading.
Alec only shook his head but then lifted his eyes to meet Magnus's. Before Magnus knew what was happening he felt Alexander's lips against his. Soft and cool, the kiss was tender and slow, it was a memory. Though vampires technically had no scent, Magnus found whatever it was Alec smelt of intoxicating as ever, maybe it was only the essence of the boy before him that made him feel this way. Alec's hand was suddenly cold against his cheek and the vampire pulled away, examining his eyes and letting out a breathed sigh from habit rather than necessity to breath.
"Alec. . ."
"I'm sorry Magnus, I will always love you. Not that that changes anything."
With that Magnus watched the love of his existence stand from the bench and walk away from him. The leaves blowing in the autumn wind behind him and the sound of the city a distant echo. Alexander was alive, so to speak, and he was going to be alive for a long time to come. It was in some ways worse than thinking him dead, but somewhere inside Magnus a new hope was born. He watched the ex Shadowhunter walk off into the distance and out of his life, his own words that had been repeated back to him left playing over in his head. Not that that changes anything.
I love you
Hope that wasn't too awful, I wrote it in just over a half hour. Only posting it online so I can show the person who came up with the idea but reviews are ALWAYS welcome and loved greatly.
Mo
