TOXIC LOVE?
"Oh, [insert name here] you're a sunflower da mother Russia yes," said Ivan, his platinum hair sparkling like his cut abs flowing in the wind of his lightly blowing scarf. He was without a shirt.
You are now a man. And you now have a tremendous erection.
Suddenly, Ivan suffered from a cardiac arrest and was rushed to the hospital. He will be missed.
You cry tears of molten sorrow and love."I WANTED TO FUCK HIM" you scream. You beat a wall like it was your wife.
Out of nowhere, a wild L shits out of the crack in the universe that appeared in your yaoi shrine. He is without a shirt.
"Moo," he licks your ear with lust, "let's have intense sex now, [insert name here]. I want to feel your insides be cum…pletely destro¥ed by the giant penis that will penetrate its defenses. Let me see your banana."
You take your banana out of your pants and wiggle it around. He picks it up and eats it.
"Thanks. I need potassium."
"No problem desu,"
L grew cat ears. "Fangs nyaaaXXX~•*•*3XXX" (A/N geddit cuz hes a cat lolz lmao im goffik)
You sit up and rip off L's clothes.
He laughs heartily. "AHA! I have foiled your plans! I wasn't even wearing clothes!"
Rats, you telepathically say to batman, L is foiled my plan!
Batman's thoughts in reply are angry. Use proper grammar, he said, it's L has foiled my plan.
"DAMN IT" you say, and rip off your shirt and turn into the hulk, then kiss L.
L is unresponsive.
You feel the cold and metallic taste of blood. Its your blood. You look down at L, who has shrunk down to the size of a small chipmunk. BUT HIS FACE. L's beautiful body, his rock hard flab, his chiseled gums, his face akin to a marble statue that had been shat on by birds… was now that of a goose. He had bitten your chin clean off.
You look to your L shrine, right next to yaoi shrine and the tellitubbies shrine.
You have a seizure and die. The next day you are reincarned into an assassin with a permanent boner. To take care of your pRoblem, you must go to the one man who can help you. His name is Light Imagay.
You carefully make your way up to his room, as Robin chops off your arm in disapproval. Light takes your hand and leads you into his room, and locks the door behind you two.
You know what you must do. Shakily, you unzip his pants and watch as his pants slide down, then his underwear. Exposed to you is his erect penis. At the sight of it, you feel your permanent erection grow soft. "Thanks," you say and leave. You go home to your love.
"HOrNEY, I'm home!" You say. You hear a gurgle. "Very funny, darling." You smile at her.
She makes her way into the living room, and you hug the pile of toxic waste that is your wife.
Suddenly a Biohazard waste management member cums in and takes away your darling.
"," you say, and shoot cum at them.
(Authors Note: there will be blood)
