A/N: this story contains adult themes which may be offensive to some readers. It includes subjects such as including suicide, sexual content, abusive behaviour and such, and also uses language that may not be tolerated by some readers. If that isn't for you, I wouldn't read on :)
All twilight characters, universe, themes and everything related to the twilight saga is thanks and owned by Stephenie Meyer.
Preface
I didn't realise until I was actually lying next to him, that I actually had fallen in love. Perhaps not with him, or not fully, but I was truly in love, and it had only been this way since he had appeared.
I sat there, my naked back beginning to feel the breeze from the gap in the window behind me. I felt as if I could lie here forever. Maybe, allow the bed to consume my body and let my mind float beneath the sheets and wind its way around him. I could just lie here peacefully, sleeping in his aura, but appearing wide awake.
I almost felt like we were tied. In some spiritual kind of way, I felt like if we were ever to walk too far apart from each other, we would be stopped by a force greater than all. That there would never be a time when I felt that he was not there, because he would be, always.
I contemplated for a second. I couldn't really love him, could I? Or be in love at all. I had known this man for not even 28 days and I felt this strongly for him. Was this how you felt when you were in love? Because up until now my preconceived notions of love had been far from this. This was elation. This was euphoria. It truly was what I thought to be love. I repeated the word over and over. I couldn't be with him. 27 days ago, I had not even known of his existence, not even noticed as he watched over me, not even noticed when he had saved my life. And yet, here I was, lying naked beside him.
The most beautiful being I had ever seen. He lay there so serene, angelic almost.
I felt like a prepubescent girl all over again, crushing on the first boy to remember my name. I felt like a child.
I closed my eyes, trying to forget that there was no possible way this could end well. It was my stupid childish ways that had started all of this. The stupid songs and my stupid legs. And not to mention that I didn't have a vast track record with luck. Not that I really believed in it, but in times like these I felt that it was better to think a higher force was at work, that was out of my control and out of the reach of my ruining hands, and that if anything went wrong, it was meant to be.
I wondered if he'd ever notice. That all we were doing was playing a game, a silent game that would spoil everything because neither of us knew the rules.
I felt like the reader of a pre twentieth century book and the dramatic irony was almost too much to bare. I inhaled deeply, careful not to move his solid skeleton. I exhaled silently. I couldn't do anything else except worry, but the more I thought over it the less I could do. I couldn't predict the future and this wasn't some story I was reading. It will end how it ends. I inhaled once more, this time exhaling loudly enough for it to break the perfect serenity. He stirred and placed his head softly against my shoulder. His eyes fluttered, violently.
He was so beautiful and he was all mine.
For now.
