First Contact

"Who would have thought this day would ever come?" Kirk said to the bridge crew as they set course for the Gorn homeworld.

"I certainly wouldn't have", McCoy said. "Especially since it wasn't that long ago that you tried to blow the Gorn out of the sky."

"Don't remind me of that Bones, I still get a twinge in my knee when I beam down to a damp planet. That Gorn nearly killed me in that fight you know? And let's not forget they attacked our base on Cestus III and killed our people without provocation."

"Yeah, Jim but they were only trying to protect themselves from a perceived invasion."

"Real or perceived, they made first contact, Bones. And as I said at the time it was our duty to protect our people, not play politics. I leave all that to the stuffed suits above my pay grade."

"Well, thanks to those stuffed suits we now call the Gorn friend.

And Mr. Spock, I hear its all thanks in no small part to your Father and the Vulcan delegation sent to negotiate a peace treaty?"

"I have heard that the Vulcans were instrumental in the proceedings," Spock said neutrally.

"Instrumental? Heck, I heard they went in there and charmed the pants, er, uh, togas off those Gorn. Had them chomping at the bit to make peace with the Federation, first contact with the Enterprise notwithstanding."

"I'm sure the Gorn found the prospect mutually beneficial to both our people. Both the Enterprise and their scout ship were nearly destroyed by the Metrons. My father merely pointed out that it was the ingenuity and mercy of Captain Kirk that spared both ships from destruction by a race neither side had the power to oppose."

"Well whatever the reason, it sure is a pleasant surprise. Though I have to tell you I am not looking forward to seeing a Gorn again." McCoy said.

"Me either Bones, but we've been chosen to attend this treaty signing ceremony and the following reception," Kirk said.

"And that leads me to one other piece of business. We have also been ordered to send over our own delegation to coordinate the events with the Gorn and Vulcan organizers once we arrive."

Captain Kirk turned around in his chair to face the back of the bridge and Spock had a sinking feeling, though he would never let it show on his face.

"Mr. Spock, Luitentant Uhura, I want you two on this. Put together a small team of cultural experts, whoever you need, and report to the Vulcan consulate there at 0800 hours."

"And Lieutenant, make sure to show them the softer side of the Enterprise, let them know we're not all as barbaric as I am," Kirk said smiling.

"Aye Captain," Uhura said.

"Captain, though I have no doubt that Lt. Uhura will do an excellent job, I fail to see why I am needed on such an assignment."

"Well Mr. Spock, not to be obvious but you are Vulcan, the Vulcans are the ones who brokered this treaty so the Gorn will already be used to Vulcan sensibilities. Not to mention you were always the advocate of mercy, it was you who cautioned me to temper my response. You're uniquely suited for this kind of thing, you're a born peacemaker. Take Bones with you, I think he'd be an asset to your team, and I'm sure he'd like to get a chance to study the Gorn up close and personal." Kirk grinned turning back around.

"I most certainly would not!" Bone interjected.

"Bones, I thought you were always up for a little adventure?"

"I've had enough adventure with the Gorn to last a lifetime thank you very much."

"Too bad, you're assigned. Now all of you get going, we'll be arriving in a few hours so that doesn't leave much time to make all the arrangements."

"Aye captain" Spock and Uhura answered in unison as they made their way to the lift but Bones stuck by Jim's chair.

"Jim, what do you think you're pulling?"

"Keep an eye on everyone Doctor, make sure they don't start a major intergalactic incident."

"Me? Shouldn't you be saying that to Spock? He's your second in command."

"Normally I would, but Spock is going to be working closely with the Vulcans."

"Yeah, so?"

"So, he hasn't had the best history with Vulcans especially his Father Ambassador Sarek. It might compromise his judgment."

"Jim, this is Spock we're talking about, he's a professional through and through. Besides, I thought he and Sarek made up."

"Spock may be in control normally Bones, but when family and childhood trauma are involved..."

"Trauma? What trauma?" McCoy cut in.

"I can't say exactly. But Spock has let some things slip over the years, and he is my best friend. I want him to get along with his family and his people and he can't do that hiding on this ship forever."

"Jim, why are you meddling?"

"I'm not meddling. Spock is the finest officer I've ever served with and the best man I know. He deserves to have a family and a home if he wants them. And if I can nudge him in that direction what harm can it cause?"


Having been selected as the flagship to represent the Federation's interests in the sector, the crew of the Enterprise was front and center at the treaty signing ceremony between the Gorn and the Federation. Now that the boring part of the event was finished, the crew was decked out in formal dress uniform and ready to cut loose at the post-treaty signing ball. Apparently, the Gorn liked to party and the ball was in full swing.

Uhura was feeling extra excited tonight. She and her team had worked extremely hard to ensure that this ball went over without a hitch. They had met with some resistance from their Vulcan counterparts over the preparations, however, the Gorn were all for their ideas on how to make the event a success. Now she was reaping the rewards of her efforts and she was determined to enjoy herself. She was having fun, flirting with all the handsome officers who couldn't seem to take their eyes off of her or the skin tight formal uniform she was wearing. She even caught the eye of a few Gorn soldiers. She never lacked a dance partner or a full glass of champagne. She was only missing one thing, or rather one person.

Uhura especially loved her formal uniform. It was long and skinny and fit her to perfection. It covered her from collar to ankle yet it left nothing to the imagination. Normally she preferred her itty bitty skort uniform but this romper style jumpsuit had its own charms, comfort being the main one. Meanwhile, she noted several fellow male officers were constantly tugging at their collars uncomfortably. Poor babies.

"Wow!" Someone said from behind her. "What are you wearing Lieutenant?"

She turned around to see the Captain looking her up and down with appreciation.

"Oh, this old thing?" She did a little twirl. "It's my old dress uniform from the academy. Can you believe it still fits after all these years?"

"Still fits you say? Are you sure about that Lieutenant?" Kirk asked playfully.

"Yes! Why Captain, do you see anything amiss?" She feigned looking over her shoulder to check her posterior.

"There's not a thing amiss, its a hit," Kirk said.

"More like an explosion," McCoy said coming up behind Jim.

"Thank you, Captain, Doctor," Uhura said sweetly.

Uhura looked behind McCoy to see Mr. Spock sulking in the background. He was staring at her with dark brooding eyes but he did not say anything. Before she could speak to him a large tall Gorn came over and slapped Kirk on the back and summoned him away while another Gorn diplomat asked her to dance. She gave Spock one last lingering look before she was swept away to the dancefloor.

Besides dancing with the Gorn dignitaries, she had the chance to dance with Sulu, McCoy, Chekov, Scotty, DeSalle, and she even went a turn with some of the Vulcan dignitaries. There was one man she had yet to dance with, though it wasn't due to lack of trying. Finally, after politely declining a dance invitation from another Gorn soldier, she sidled up to Mr. Spock who was trying to be inconspicuous in a darkened corner of the ballroom.

"Mr. Spock, you haven't danced the entire evening. In fact, you've barely moved from this spot."

"How astute of you to notice Lieutenant. Especially since you have been keeping your dance card full this evening. I do not believe that you have taken a break all night."

"How astute of you to notice Commander. We all have to do our part in welcoming our newest allies. A lot of people are a bit wary of the Gorn, especially after what happened on Cestus three."

"The incident on Cestus three occurred because the Federation rushed colonizing a planet without a thorough investigation of the area. We encroached on their territory and the Gorn merely retaliated."

"Yeah, well you know how some people are, no amount of truth and logic will deter them from their prejudices."

"Yes, I have experienced the truth of this sentiment."

"Okay, well it's your turn now."

"My turn for what?"

"Your name is at the top of my dance card, Mister."

"I will yield my turn to a more deserving man."

"There's no such thing," Uhura said taking him by the arm. She was about to lead him to the dancefloor when she felt a wave of dizziness. "Actually, I am in need of a little breather, and it is your duty to see that all the crew are behaving and representing Earth properly."

"I see no issue with your behavior this evening Lieutenant."

"And you won't see any issue so long as you join me. Keep me out of trouble." She grinned up at Spock with a sparkle in her eyes.

"I would prefer not to."

"You don't want to keep me out of trouble?" she asked her smile faltering.

"I would prefer not to dance this evening."

"Why? How often do we get to let our hair down and cut loose? This might be our last opportunity, the 5-year mission is ending and the Enterprise crew might be permanently separated." She said becoming serious. "We've worked together side by side for 4 years and we've never even shared a danced. Let's make this a night to remember, shall we?" Uhura looked up at Spock with her big brown pleading eyes and Spock relented.

"Very well Lieutenant." Spock allowed Nyota to lead him away from the sidelines, however, she didn't take him to the dancefloor where uptempo dance music was playing. Instead, she headed for a side exit that led out onto a patio. There a live band was set up in a corner playing soft slow mood music. The night air was cool for a summer evening but the sky was clear and crowded with bright stars. Uhura took a deep breath and Spock noted she visibly relaxed as they got away from the bustle of the ballroom. Perhaps she truly did require a rest?

"Are you alright Lieutenant?"

"Yes, I am now. I just needed some air to clear my head. You may think I am in my element entertaining folks, but I've been on my feet all day and as much as I enjoy a party, hosting a ball is still hard work."

"Then we should sit", he said trying to guide her to one of the benches near the ornate railing.

"No, I don't want to sit, not just yet. I owe you a dance. Besides, I needed a break from that room, from being the 'hostess with the mostess'. I just wanted to enjoy some of this evening with someone familiar, and be comfortable without having to put on a show. Does that make any sense Mr. Spock?"

"Indeed it does."

"Good cause I'm beginning to lose the plot a bit," and she hiccupped and then giggled. "How did I ever get roped into being the liaison for this event anyway?"

"The captain volunteered you which is usually the case in such matters."

"Well, I'll have to find a way to thank him properly", she said tartly. "C'mon lets dance."

"Are you sure you are up for it?" Spock noticed her swaying on her feet.

"Yes, I just want to sway to the music, think you can keep up with me?"

"I will make every effort to do so."

Uhura wrapped her arms around Spock's neck while he held her about her waist. She breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed against him.

"See this is nice, isn't it? Not too much human contact for you?"

"No", Spock said quietly, "not too much at all."

"I think we deserve extra shore leave after this. I mean, we had to plan this shindig while everyone else just moped around the ship or explored the planet."

"I am certain the Captain would be agreeable to allowing you and the others in the committee some well-deserved downtime."

"Just me and the others? What about you Mr. Spock? You seem to have drawn the short straw in all this. You had to deal with your father as well as the Gorn."

"Vulcans don't require downtime to rejuvenate. I will meditate per my usual practice."

"I don't care if you require downtown, you've earned the time for yourself. Besides, I can't go traipsing about this alien planet on my own. Don't misunderstand me, the Gorn I've met so far have been perfectly agreeable, but I wouldn't feel comfortable roaming their cities alone. You're my official partner, remember? We're in this together until the end."

"Of course Lieutenant."

"Are you humoring me?" Uhura smiled up at Spock.

"No, I would not agree to do anything I did not want to do," he said enigmatically.

"Good. Cause I don't want to bully you, not that I ever could. I just...I don't know, I wish you enjoyed yourself more. You work so hard and do so much for all of us. I know you didn't want to be on the planning committee, but you never complained. And I know some of the Vulcan delegates went out of their way to be rude to you too."

"They were not rude, they were just expressing their opinion. An opinion my father shares."

"No, I don't believe that. They were being rude plain and simple. And I hope Sarek gave them a piece of his mind in private."

"As I have said, Sarek agrees with their views of Starfleet and of me."

"Nonsense. I saw how he looked when he overheard that junior ambassador berating you. He was not amused."

"Sarek is never amused."

"You know what I mean. He's a dad. He may reprimand you about your life choices but that's his job, not theirs."

"I am well acquainted with their views, it is of no consequence."

"Maybe it's not important to you, but I didn't like it and neither did Sarek. Oh, Spock, I don't want to talk about the Vulcans or the Gorn for that matter. I just want to relax for a moment. Let's just enjoy the dance, can you do that?" Uhura rested her head on Spock's shoulder and Spock did enjoy the dance and his partner.

Uhura's hair smelled like roses and blended in perfectly with the fragrance of the garden flowers on the patio where they danced. As they swayed gently together, he was acutely aware of her hands touching the skin of his neck while his hands rested lightly on the small of her back. It took a considerable amount of discipline not to pull her closer to him and devour her in his embrace. Lately, Spock acknowledged that it was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore Lieutenant Uhura at all.

Since their accidental engagement on the night of his divorce from T'Pring, Spock had decided he needed to separate himself from Nyota Uhura. She was too tempting and she didn't realize what she was doing when she offered herself to him. She wanted to be friends while he wanted something more. Since he could not have it, he was going to avoid her. But his plan was failing miserably. He could not avoid her and he could not have her and it was torture. Why was she doing this to him?


Why was she doing this to herself? Why did she drag Spock out here and ask him to dance? Why was she putting herself so close to this man who had shown her at every turn that he did not want to spend time with her outside of work? Was she a glutton for torture?

But Uhura couldn't help herself, she had to keep trying. She needed to know what she had done to drive him away from her. She and Spock had been so close at one point. Perhaps it as just her imagination, but Nyota thought that just before Spock's 'divorce' that they were maybe more than friends. They were always together, always working, eating, exercising, and playing together.

Spock was teaching her to speak the high Vulcan dialects. He'd offered to teach her Vulcan self-defense after her stint on Triskelion. At the height of their relationship, they had begun to spend so much time together that she had given him the lock code to her quarters and he had given his to her. They did everything together except sleep.

And then nothing. Oh, at first it was subtle. Spock fond excuses not to meet her for dinner or for lessons, and then he started spending more of his time in his science lab or in engineering with Scotty or with the Captain and Doctor McCoy. She couldn't fault him for how he chose to spend his time. But it stung her that he had practically cried on her shoulder when his wife dumped him and then suddenly he ghosted her. Why did men treat her like this, and why did she tolerate it?

Where were her self-respect and dignity? She was chasing Spock like she as a lovesick yeoman. Even Christine had calmed down on her pursuit and started to focused on her career goals. Why was she stuck on this man who didn't give her a second thought? Well no more. She decided. Tonight she was done with Mr. Spock! Yeah right, and that's why she was holding on to him like he was the last man alive.

Uhura sighed as she and Spock swayed to the music. Was it her imagination or did he hold her a little too close? His hand felt so good on the small of her back. She could feel its heat through the thin material of her dress uniform. The outfit was within regs though technically the bodysuit was supposed to be worn with a jacket. But Uhura had chosen to wear only the jumper and she 'forgot' to bring the jacket part along. She wasn't the only woman to do so, but she wore it best if she did say so herself.

The music ended and it looked like the band was taking a break. It took Uhura and Spock a moment to notice that they were now suddenly alone on the patio. Spock broke the trance they were in first and dropped his hand from her back stepping away from her.

There was an awkward moment when neither of them knew what to do, Uhura decided she really was tired and needed to sit. She walked over to the bench on the perimeter of the patio and took a seat while Spock followed her.

"You don't have to keep me company anymore Mr. Spock, I know you'd prefer to be elsewhere."

"Where else would I prefer to be?"

"I don't know, anywhere else I guess. You don't seem to like being with me anymore." Uhura hated the pouty quality of her voice when she said that but she couldn't help how she felt.

Spock was quiet so Uhura took that as confirmation.

"Nyota, I-" Spock began but was interrupted by the sound of voices raised speaking in an alien tongue.

A party of Gorn had entered the Patio. They didn't see Spock and Uhura sitting there yet. Uhura had learned that the Gorn had poor eyesight in the best of conditions so on the darkened patio they likely didn't even notice a pair of humans, well human and Vulcan.

Spock took Uhura by the hand pulling her along behind him. He guided her through a side exit of the patio that she didn't even know was there. She supposed Spock had superior night vision too. Everything about him was superior after all.

They walked silently for a while before she realized they were holding hands. It was strange that she'd known Spock for at least 4 years and they had never held hands before. Well, why would they, they were only colleagues right? Still, it felt so right to walk hand and hand with Spock. His grip was soft and gentle and his hand was warm and dry. She never wanted to let him go but she knew this was just another wish she could not have.

"Spock where are we going?"

He remained silent and just kept walking, his steps confident in the pale starlight.

"Spock, really where are you taking me?"

If Spock were any other man leading her away from a crowded party to some dark secluded corner she would probably be panicking right about now. But this as Spock. He wouldn't do anything to her. Right?

Finally, she heard the sound of running water and they walked into an open area with a fountain. It was lovely. The fountain had water shooting up and dancing along with colored flashing lights putting on a show.

"Mr. Spock, how did you know this was here?" Uhura asked in wonder.

"I stumbled upon it after my meeting with the Vulcan delegates."

"It's wonderful. Some people don't like the sound of running water but I love it. I used to have an aquarium as a girl, and I used to fall asleep to the sound of the filter draining." She reminisced.

"Yes, I know."

"Oh, I told you about that?" She asked, surprised.

"In a manner of speaking."

Still holding hands they walked around the perimeter of the large round fountain. Uhura looked up at the stars.

"I love looking at the stars too. I know it is silly since I live on a starship but I still get that wanderlust when I look up. I still wonder what's out there even though I've seen and been to places no other human will likely ever go."

Spock was still silent but he didn't let go of her hand which gave Uhura the courage to ask, "What were you going to say before the Gorn interrupted us?"

"I was going to tell you that you look magnificent tonight."

"No, you weren't."

"Vulcans do not lie."

"What about half Vulcans? Do they only tell half-truths?"

"I missed you."

"I beg your pardon." Uhura stopped short.

"I was going to tell you that I have missed you."

"You didn't have to."

"I didn't have to tell you?" Spock asked in confusion.

"No, you didn't have to miss me. Why did you? Why did you stop being my friend?" Uhura asked barely holding back tears.

"I did not stop being your friend Nyota."

"Then what do you call it?"

"I needed time... after the incident with T'pring I needed time to myself."

"To sulk? That doesn't sound like you, Mr. Spock. I thought you didn't even like that T'pring?"

"I did not like nor dislike her."

"Oh right you don't like anybody, do you?"

"That is untrue."

"Really, then who do you like?"

"Nyota-"

"Spock, would it kill you to admit you like someone?"

"No."

"Then go ahead, say it. Say 'I like you Nyota'" She challenged him.

Spock was glad she was no longer crying and was now back to her usual bold self.

"What makes you think I like you?" he parried.

"Well do you?"

Spock looked down at her earnest expression. "Yes, I do," he admitted.

"Ok then. Was that so hard?" She smiled up at him.

"Yes, it was." He gave her one of his rare smirks.

"I missed you too." She confessed. "Don't ghost me again. If you have a problem come to me. That's what friends are for. Don't leave me out in the cold." Then she admitted quietly, "You hurt me."

Spock felt as if she had just punched him in the gut. He had not meant to hurt her. He was trying to protect her from himself. But as usual, he had failed. This was further proof that she was better off without him in her life, but now that he was a part of her life he couldn't separate himself without causing her further harm.

"That was never my intention, believe it or not, I was trying to protect you."

"Protect me? From what?"

"From myself."

"What! Why?"

"I am not the man you believe me to be, I am..." he didn't know what he was.

"There is nothing wrong with you," Uhura reassured him.

"I am incapable of being... of feeling... I am a Vulcan," he concluded.

"Oh, that? So what, I can't believe it has escaped your notice that I happen to like Vulcans? One Vulcan in particular. I don't care if you can't laugh or cry, that's just silly. You are who you are. And I like you just the way you are. I've told you that before, I am sure of it."

"Indeed you have."

"Then why don't you ever believe me?"

"I believe that you believe it."

"Spock, I know you're Vulcan and you think you can't feel, but I know you can. I've seen you show emotion, I know you've been hurt in the past. Vulcan doesn't mean Android. You're not a machine you're a person and people need other people. On this mission, I've grown attached to you. I need you. You're one of my closest friends. You've been there for me when I needed you and I thought I was there for you when you needed someone too. Was I wrong?"

"No, you were not wrong."

"So why would you think I needed to be protected from you? You only hurt me when you hide from me; when you shut me out with no explanation. If I've done something to offend you then tell me. I know I can be too much. Too loud, too bold, too emotional. But all you have to do is tell me and I'll stop-"

"I do not want you to stop. I do not want you to change. I... You are perfect just as you are."

"Then what?"

"There are things about me that you do not know."

"What things? Just tell me."

"I cannot. If you knew what I am, what I am capable of doing, you would hate me."

"Never. There is nothing you could tell me that would turn me away from you."

"I wish I could believe that is true."

"Then you don't believe in me?"

"I do believe in you, I supposed I don't believe in myself."

"Well, I'll just have to believe for both of us." She said stubbornly.

"Nyota there are things about Vulcans that you do not know, that no one outside of Vulcan knows."

"Well if you tell me then I'll know. And I won't tell anyone if you tell me not to."

"It is not that simple. Are there things that you do not like about yourself? Are there secrets that you don't want anyone to know about you?"

"Of course there are. Everyone has secrets."

"If I asked, would you tell them to me? Or would you protect them?"

"Well, I guess it depends on if you needed to know it. I mean, you don't need to know if I have a mole someplace intimate." She teased trying to break the tension she felt building in Spock.

"This is bigger than a mole."

"Then what is it? You're building it up so much you're making me think its something terrible."

"And what if it is terrible?"

"Does the Captain know what it is? Does McCoy?"

Spock was silent for a long moment before he replied.

"They know some of it but not everything, I do not want them to know everything. I do not want anyone to know."

Spock didn't want anyone to know that every seven years the males of his race lose all inhibitions and practically turn into beasts. He didn't want Nyota to know that he could hurt her during an intimate moment. He didn't want her to know that during his Time he would be driven to use his wife as if she were a whore. Nyota as too good for that. And that was why she must never know. That was why he must marry a Vulcan woman despite what he wanted.

"My mother never wanted me," Uhura said suddenly. "I was raised by my grandmother."

"Nyota," Spock said stunned by her confession but she continued.

"My parents divorced shortly after I was born and when I was six my mother decided she wanted to resume her career. So I was shipped off to Grandma and Grandpa. My brothers were older and they could fend for themselves but I needed a mama. My brothers visited in the summer and my father, he came and went with his work. He's a musician and he traveled a lot. He'd take us kids with him during school breaks but most of the time it was just me and my grandparents. And then Grandpa got sick..." Uhura began to sob.

"Hush," Spock said and pulled her into his arms.

Spock felt like the galaxy's greatest fool. He was a coward. He had avoided Nyota, pretending to protect her from himself but he had really been protecting himself from her. She made him feel emotions and it frightened him. But he could not admit that so he had pushed her away.

He held her tight, rubbing her back and brushing his lips against her forehead. She had told him her greatest secret and he was humbled. She wasn't afraid to share her pain and her grief and her fears. She wasn't afraid to share her truth while he hid behind logic and pride. This woman gutted him. She deserved better than him. But he couldn't let her go. Not now not ever.

Nyota cried until she had no more tears to left shed. She'd never told a soul about her family. She always presented herself as the happy go lucky girl without a worry in the world. She told herself that the past was the past and it didn't matter. But it did matter. People were always leaving her, her mother, her father, her grandfather, Riley. Spock. Was she so unlovable? Was she so easily disposed of?

"Why didn't she want me?" she sobbed.

"I want you." She thought she heard Spock say but she was beyond caring, beyond understanding. Sometime later she realized she was in Spock's arms and he was slowly rocking her back and forth. They were sitting on the edge of the fountain and when she lifted her head away from his chest and she saw that Spock's shirtfront was wet with tears and mucus. Uh oh.

She looked at the sky and saw that the stars were fading and it was just before dawn. She tried to pull away from Spock but he tightened his grip around her. "Hush," he said and he kissed her forehead.

WHAT. THE. HELL? Uhura thought. She squirmed in his arms. WHAT THE... is she sitting on Spock's lap? Wait, what! Was this the mirror universe? Was she drunk?

"Spock?" she sniffled.

"Shhh"

"But-"

"Shh, you do not need to say anymore. Nyota, we are going to have a long talk, you and I," he declared.

Uhura was not up for a long talk tonight, she felt wrung out.

"Mister Spock, not tonight. I have a headache." Uhura yawned as she rested her head back on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

Spock threw his head back and barked out a laughed.

Yea, Uhura thought before she dozed off. I'm drunk.