A/N: I got this idea from something I had been reading a while back...let me know what you think! This starts shortly after Mark and Lexie broke up when he told her that Callie was pregnant with his baby. I don't own Grey's...believe me, if I did...things would have been WAY different for Slexie.


March 21, 2011

Karma must really be a cruel bitch or I'm just the most unlucky person in the world. I left Seattle to come to Boston so I wouldn't have to see Mark father a child with Callie and as luck would have it, I'm pregnant with Mark Sloan's baby too. I knew something was off when I first moved at the beginning of the month, but ignored it because I thought it was moving stress. But when I noticed my missed periods…I knew something wasn't right and took the damn pregnancy test a week ago. Positive. I am pregnant. I, Alexandra Caroline Grey, the most responsible human being when it came to sex, am pregnant; with Mark Sloan's third child. Not even here a month and already he has creeped back into my life in a way I can't escape! I went to the abortion clinic yesterday, but just couldn't go through with it because this is my child. And no matter how unprepared I am or unready for a baby, I can't destroy something Mark and I created because we loved each other. Even if I'm angry with him for putting me in a position I wasn't ready for twice and now this, I can't help but feel love for this child.

I went to my OB here in Boston for the first time this morning and saw the heartbeat – I'm about 10 weeks pregnant and my due date is around the end of October, meaning this baby was conceived right before Mark came clean about Callie being pregnant to me. When I tried to call Mark and tell him, I chickened out and hung up…11 times, so I just can't tell him over the phone. My next weekend off, I'm going to go out to Seattle and tell him. He deserves to know, even if I will be living her from now on. Now I just have to plan for becoming a mother during residency, which was never my original plan in life. But I have to suck it up, right? I'm going to be a mother…someone's mom. And that thought scares the ever loving crap out of me.

Lexie closed her journal and sighed, putting it on the shelf in her study. This apartment wasn't big, but it was just enough for her…and her future child. She had moved here after Mark told her that Callie was pregnant, not being able to handle the love of her life having a child with someone else when she told him once before she wasn't ready for children. And now…she had basically slapped that in the face by getting pregnant herself. But she couldn't go back now and tell him…not while he was so happy with the new family he was already creating with Callie and Arizona. No one else knew about her pregnancy, so she knew that she had to keep it to herself for the time being because she had no support system here. Even Meredith didn't know yet, which she knew would change soon.

She had taken the position of a resident at Mass General and so far, things had been going okay there because she was getting along with her co-workers, who were pretty impressed with her photographic memory and surgical skills that none of them had yet learned as second year residents, which she found kind of odd. But it gave her an advantage and learning curve far above theirs, which is what she needed if she was going to be a mother by the end of the year.

As she looked around her office, she sighed and picked up her phone from the desk and looked at her most recent text messages from her sister. Meredith was seeking her advice about the adoption that Derek wanted to go through with, but she knew that only Meredith could answer her own questions about becoming a mother and what she felt about that. Her own feelings were that her sister would be a good mother, but that was something Meredith needed to figure out for herself. Staring at her phone, she knew that she needed to tell Meredith…to at least prepare her for the trip she would be making out to Seattle soon, so she called her sister's phone.

"Hello?" the voice on the other end said.

"Mer…it's uh…it's Lexie," she said nervously. "Are you busy?"

She knew her sister was trying to get in good for Chief Resident, so she wasn't sure if she was working, at home, or out somewhere.

"Um no, I'm at home…what's up?" Meredith asked, concern lacing her voice since she hadn't heard from Lexie in about a week or so.

"There's something I have to tell you and it's really going to um…shock you, so are you sitting down? Please tell me you're sitting down and by yourself," she rambled on quickly, trying not to sound so nervous since she was also fighting down her own nausea at the moment.

"Yeah I'm sitting down…and Derek's at the hospital. What's going on Lexie?" the elder Grey asked.

"Okay, so you know that I left for Boston because Mark got Callie pregnant and now I'm here, settled, and everything is going good for me," she said, not really pausing to give Meredith time to answer before she went on. "But when I got here, I felt like crap and at first I thought that it was because of the move and trying to get over Mark when I was still angry at him and loved him. So I ignored it and kept on working, hoping I'd get over whatever it was that was making me feel bad but it didn't go away and then I realized that my period was late…like really late. Two months late, just about. So I went to the drug store and I got a pregnancy test last week…it's positive Mer. I'm pregnant with Mark Sloan's baby and I just…I'm in Boston. I came here to get away from Mark and now this…"

"Lexie…you're pregnant, with Mark Sloan's baby?" Meredith asked, sounding somewhat surprised and shocked at the same time.

"Yeah…" she replied, hanging her head as she looked at the desk. "I'm about…10 weeks or so, due in October."

"Have you told him yet?"

"No…I was going to call and then I chickened out…11 times so far, but I just…I can't tell him over the phone. Not about something like this," she defended, shaking her head as she felt a few tears burgeoning in her eyes. "I thought about flying out to Seattle on my first weekend off. Could I stay with you and Derek for those few days?"

"Of course," Meredith replied, her voice softening a little with sisterly concern. "Are you…going to keep it?"

Lexie couldn't help but feel awful because she knew how hard her sister had wanted her own child, but she and Derek just couldn't get pregnant. And now she was pregnant with a baby she hadn't wanted to have at this point in her life, which made her feel even guiltier than she already felt.

"I decided I was going to keep it…I had my first OB appointment today and saw the heart beating," she answered, feeling her throat thicken with the emotions bubbling over inside of herself. "It was really…there's really a baby in there, Mer. There was a heart beating and this little bean shaped thing. It's growing inside of me and…it's Mark's and I…I don't know what to do or what is going to happen to me. I mean…I know medically, but I just…"

In the beginning, Lexie's relationship with her older sister was rocky at best, but now she knew that she could talk to Meredith about things and be honest with her. Their relationship had become closer over the years that Lexie had spent in Seattle during her internship and residency, but Lexie was scared and didn't know where to turn now because all of her support was in Seattle….right where Mark was.

"Lexie, calm down…it's going to be alright," Meredith said calmly, trying to get Lexie to breathe and to calm herself down since she was getting worked up about everything. "Come to Seattle for a few days and we'll get things figured out. I'm sure everything will be fine."

"Thank you Mer…I really appreciate everything you're doing for me," Lexie replied, looking down at her desk as she held the phone to her ear, still somewhat shaking and scared. "I'll let you know as soon as I have my flight information and when I'm coming out there."

"Okay, I'll make sure I have at least part of the day off then to come pick you up," her sister went on.

"And Mer?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't say anything to anybody…please. Not even Derek," Lexie added, more as a way of reassuring herself that Mark wouldn't find out before she had the chance to really tell him in person, herself.

"I won't. Your secret is safe with me."

Lexie got off the phone with her sister and went to her bedroom, plugging her phone in on the nightstand before lying on her usual side of the bed. Since moving to Boston, things had been lonely and she missed having someone share the bed with her. Even if she was angry with Mark for getting Callie pregnant, she still loved him and hadn't stopped after she moved. Turning over, she hugged the pillow on what was usually his side of the bed, letting a few tears slip out of the corners of her eyes. Two women were having Mark Sloan's baby at completely different times…relatively close to one another and she knew that it complicated things so much. While Callie was only his friend, that baby was still his child regardless. And her own child, something she hadn't expected or wanted yet in her life, was his too. But there was a part of her, deep down inside, that was already in love with her child regardless of his or her parentage. Even though she was terrified at the prospect of becoming a mother, she knew that she would have to be strong and stay strong for her child. So she drifted off to sleep, holding the pillow and praying that when she did go home to Seattle, she would find the courage to tell him about the baby and how everything made her feel.