DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters in this story. Harry, Ginny, Ron and many other characters mentioned here, whether from the past or present, are owned by JK Rowling. I have set this mini-episode style fanfic just before Ginny got pregnant with James Sirius Potter.
Drunk Ron Weasley and the Magical and Musical Quiz
3 September 2003
Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley and Ron Weasley were at The Three Broomsticks. It had been a very long time; at least five years since they had visited Hogsmeade. They decided to reflect on their experiences from when they were teenagers and have an insanely cool night out.
"It's sort of exciting, isn't it? Getting drunk," Harry smirked as soon as the three wizards settled into the bar.
"Well, yes," said Ginny. "It's great to have a get-together like this. Our early twenties are much more enjoyable than our teens so far."
"Of course, since we are more willing to discover more historical information, political news and even learn more and more useful spells for our future," replied Ron.
"Hopefully, there are no insensitive warts here who get into a coma," alluded Harry. "Looks like no one is going crazy right now, which is good."
When Harry, Ginny and Ron eventually got used to the bar, Harry walked up to the bartender, who recognised him for a split second but pretended he didn't know Harry Potter as 'The Boy who lived in history'. Harry then bought a jug of firewhiskey, carried it along with three glasses to his table and poured for himself and the two Weasleys.
"So, have you two been keeping up with the news?" Harry asked as they started drinking together. "Because tonight there is a quiz night right here and we are likely to be asked questions based on recent high-profile events which appear in news articles."
"Harry, you've seen me read news and novels, haven't you?" Ginny answered. Then she whispered quietly in Harry's ear, "At least you and I care about reading. Ron doesn't. He's just a daft dimbo!" making sure Ron didn't hear what she was saying. Harry immediately laughed, though at the same time, he was quite shocked at how tactless what Ginny just said to him was.
"What's the point with all these news anyway?" Ron interrupted.
"They're important for us so that we know what is going on in the country. We may need to brace ourselves for potential regional disasters," retorted Harry. "Besides, we've been keeping up with wizarding news as well as muggle news."
Immediately afterwards, the quizmaster began making his speech. "Good evening ladies and gentlemen. We hope you are having a great time at The Three Broomsticks. Tonight there will be a quiz of ten questions. Each table will receive an A5 sheet of blank paper to write their answers on. Every team must come up with a catchy name and write it at the top of the sheet before handing in their answers. The winning team is the team with the most correct answers."
Ron came up with a name straightaway. "How about 'The Bar Wizards'?" he asked. The other two team members swiftly agreed as Harry put the name of their team on his sheet of paper.
"Right, are we all ready?" exclaimed the quizmaster. Everyone in the bar shouted "Yes we are!". "OK, here we go," responded the quizmaster promptly. "Question 1: Which member of the Ministry of Magic got sent to Azkaban for abusing muggles?"
Harry observed the question and said, "This is something we should obviously know because it is linked with the Ministry of Magic". He then wrote Dolores Umbridge as his team's answer to the first question.
The quizmaster then moved on to the next question. "Question 2: Who got suspended from the Improper Use of Magic Office for vanishing a muggle train?"
Harry, Ginny and Ron looked less sure about this question than the first one. Ginny asked a bit nervously, "Does anyone have an idea on what the answer could be?"
Harry and Ron had a think about the answer to Question 2 but again, Harry was the one to come up with an answer. "It must be Rufus Fudge, the nephew of Cornelius" he presumed.
"Question 3: Which ballet is known for its story where the Chosen One dances herself to death?" the quizmaster continued.
"That was you in school, wasn't it?" Ron assumed, from his observations of Harry's tortures from Lord Voldemort.
"Not quite," responded Harry. "In that story, the Chosen One actually dies and never survives. And it's quite surprising that this is a musical question after the first two questions were linked with magic. From what I've researched, I am pretty sure that the answer is The Rite of Spring by Stravinsky." The other two looked pretty sceptical as Harry wrote his final answer down since the 'Weasleycest' did not know as much classical music besides the pieces they heard at the Barbican Concert on the 30th August.
"Question 4: Which orchestral piece is thought of as the most magical symphony?" the quizmaster continued.
Ron was quite surprised by this question. "I know this; we heard this in the concert we went to – Symphonie Fantastique," he recalled.
"Well remembered, Ron. Seems like you learnt something from the programme notes," said Harry.
"Question 5: Who was the Dark Lord who came to power which led to the events of the Two Wizarding Wars?" Harry, Ginny and Ron all freaked out when the quizmaster asked this question.
"Oh my goodness!" exclaimed a shocked Harry. "He is exactly the guy who tried to kill me all through my early life! I don't get why all this stuff has to come into our minds, especially the Battle of Hogwarts!" The three wizards all knew that it was Lord Voldemort who always wanted to murder Harry and thus caused war at notably Godric's Hollow and Hogsmeade.
Ginny, who was still in shock, asked for a snack in order to calm her down. "Harry, I'm a bit peckish. Could we please have something to eat?"
"Sure," Harry replied as he got up and approached the bartender for a second time. "Excuse me sir, could I please order some dragon tartare?" he requested.
But then a problem started to arise. Ron was continually having numerous glasses of firewhiskey. Perhaps he could be the one who doesn't know his limits with respect to alcoholic drinks. He was already drunk by his looks at this moment.
As soon as Harry returned to the table with the dragon tartare, the wizards were enjoying it so much that it went down quite quickly. "Beware, this affects your breath for a short time," Harry warned Ron and Ginny.
The quizmaster went on. "Question 6: Which wizard was famous for being an expert Magizoologist?"
This question in particular dated back to years before Harry was born. Harry relied on his historical knowledge of magic before coming up with the answer which he either would know or wouldn't know. He then asked, "Does anyone know Newt Scamander?"
"Oh, I've heard of Newt Scamander," Ginny acknowledged. "He is the grandfather of Rolf Scamander, who is apparently in love with Loony… oh sorry, I mean Luna Lovegood." Everyone cracked up as they remembered that same mistake Hermione made on the year the Golden Trio formed Dumbledore's Army.
"Question 7: Who is the composer of the tone poem The Noon Witch?" Everyone in the bar, including the wizards, immediately looked unsure as soon as they heard this question.
"Bloody hell, this quiz is mental!" sighed Ron who had no idea what the answer was.
"The world's mental. To be honest I've never heard of this piece before," agreed Harry. They decided to omit this question since they couldn't come up with an answer at all.
As Ron downed another glass of firewhiskey, perhaps his third glass, the quizmaster revealed the next question. "Question 8: Besides Tchaikovsky, which composer is known for writing a ballet based on a fairy tale?"
Then the bossiness of Harry emerged. "I hope you're fit to answer this one, Ron and Ginny, because it is much easier than the last one."
Ron abruptly interrupted and said, "I don't get it. Where are all these fairy tale ballets coming from?"
Harry then sharply said, "Honestly, haven't you been reading up about this? I've been brushing up my general and musical knowledge so that I have not only wizarding intelligence but also muggle intelligence. Think of any fairy tale and then a possible composer of a ballet based on it. Didn't the concert inspire you to research further?"
Yes, we've been to a classical music concert last Saturday, but we don't know that much about this music," Ron retorted. "And neither do you Harry, by the looks of you. You're one to talk!"
"That's rich, Ronald! You don't even know what you're saying!" snapped Harry, pointing right onto his face.
"HARRY!" shouted Ginny as she shook his arm firmly. She was extremely anxious that Ron and Harry would have a fight which would cause the group to fall out.
"Sorry guys, that was me going out of control. I'll admit I'm a bit tipsy," said Harry. "Do you have any ideas Ginny?"
"Well, I know Tchaikovsky wrote Sleeping Beauty but let me think of another fairy tale… Oh yes, I've heard of a ballet called Cinderella and I'm sure that's by Prokofiev, right?"
"Good thinking, my babe," Harry responded seductively. "I will put Prokofiev down as our answer. We're doing fine guys."
"Thanks, at least I was fit to think hard because I drank very little. We know our limits," replied Ginny.
The quizmaster then asked the final two questions. "Question 9: Who can be viewed as the Wicked Witch during the Second Wizarding War? And now here's the final question. Question 10: Which orchestral suite is based on a selection of fairy tales?"
For question 9, the wizards used their common sense by thinking of a female death eater they had to battle against during the Battle of Hogwarts. The first answer that came into their mind was Bellatrix Lestrange. Question 10 was another hard question which many people didn't know the answer to. However, Harry made a guess and put Tchaikovsky's Sleeping Beauty Suite.
"Right, everyone", the quizmaster announced. "Please send your answers to another team and mark whoever's sheet of paper is in front of you. I will read out all the answers to the questions and you need to write the total amount of correct answers at the bottom of the sheet."
Harry, Ginny and Ron held hands, together not only hoping they get a good result, but to show true friendship for more than a decade. As soon as Ron released his hand from the other two, Harry took Ginny's hand and gave a sweet kiss on it, with Ron watching contently, but bizarrely in a drunken state.
It was time for the quizmaster to reveal the answers to the questions. "Here are the answers. Question 1 – Dolores Umbridge. Question 2 – Rufus Fudge. Question 3 – The Rite of Spring – Igor Stravinsky. Question 4 – Symphony Fantastique – Hector Berlioz. Question 5 – Lord Voldemort. Question 6 – Newt Scamander."
The wizards were all excited about getting all of the first six questions right until they were about to hear the answer to question 7, when they felt disappointed that they couldn't answer it.
The quizmaster then went on. "Question 7 – Antonin Dvorak. Question 8 – Sergei Prokofiev. Question 9 – Bellatrix Lestrange. Question 10 – Mother Goose Suite – Maurice Ravel."
"Oh dear, I got that last question wrong. Sorry guys," sighed Harry, as he and the Weasleys felt drained about question 10.
"We didn't know the answer to it anyway but you made a good educated guess. We seem to have gotten lots of questions right," Ginny assured Harry.
The team whose answers were marked by 'The Bar Wizards' was called 'Cripples Inc.' Harry, Ginny and Ron were laughing at how 'Cripples Inc.' got so many questions wrong and sniggering about how retarded they were. The team that they marked only scored 2 out of 10, an embarrassingly pathetic quiz mark.
"OK everyone, can I have all your sheets please?" the quizmaster asked. Harry and a member from every other table handed their marked answers to the quizmaster. "Let's reveal the rankings. In sixth place is 'Cripples Inc.' with only 2 points. Fifth is 'The Snake Knots' with 5 points. Fourth is 'The Ace of Spades' with 6 points. Second equal are 'Brainwaves' and 'Con brio' with 7 points. Therefore, the winners with 8 points are "The Bar Wizards".
There were many shouts of joy across the bar for Harry, Ginny and Ron who were all ecstatic about their victorious result in this quiz. As soon as they were ready to leave, Ron was walking behind Harry and Ginny in a zigzag line and without watching, tripped over a step and fell forward at the entrance of the bar. Luckily, Harry and Ginny were right in front of Ron so that they could hold him to prevent him from falling to the ground.
"What's the matter Ron, have you drunken too much?" Harry asked in an agonising state.
"H-He-Her-Hermione left me! She w-we-went off with fucking Viktor Krum! I hate that dick!" Ron cried vividly.
"I think Ron is completely absent-minded," observed Ginny with a cunning and amused look. "I don't know how we're gonna get him home. We can't just apparate otherwise we'd all be covered in vomit! How much do you think he drank?"
Harry replied, "Actually, I'm highly logical, which allows me to calculate how many units we have drunken. I've had three and you've had one and a half, which is good. Ron has had, like, ten, which is why he's lost his mind! But I've got a huge fan base!"
"I've got beauty and brains!" Ginny exclaimed.
"And I've got fifty shades of ginger!" Ron screamed, causing immense laughter from the other two.
"What makes you link your hair with sex?" Harry chuckled.
"I dunno," replied Ron. "And what did I eat that was really tasty?
"Dragon balls," lied Harry.
Suddenly, disaster laid ahead. Ron panted, spluttered and eventually, vomited all over Harry and Ginny, who were absolutely disgusted with how messed up their clothes were.
"It's actually dragon tartare," Harry whispered to Ginny, who became entirely astonished that he made Ron puke by lying to Ron.
Soon afterwards, the three wizards apparated and the space was empty and desolate.
