Prophecies, Fate, and Destiny would have us believe that the world is a story book with a pre written beginning middle and end. But the truth is that world is not that simple, the world and its people do not exist just because a destiny needs to be fulfilled, no, the events that shape our world our at the mercy of the people who inhabited it, and those few people who are determined to change the world. The determination, strength and resolve of one person is enough to defy prophecy, destroy fate, and shatter destiny. There are few who understand this in Albion. But one young serving boy, lying awake in his bed contemplates these very things and the events of this past day. He tosses and turns as he goes over the memories in his head.
She looks at him frightened and confused looking for answers, and he looks back into her eye and lies to her
"No Morgana you don't have magic"
Even as every fiber of his being is screaming at him to tell her the truth, to comfort her, to give her what he did not have when he first discovered his magic and was alone and scared.
But he does not.
The memory fades as he remembers others
"It is your Destiny young warlock"
"The Witch Morgana…Mordred…united in evil."
"Destined to be evil"
"It is fated"
Fate
Destiny
Prophecy
He sits up in his bed, his mind a jumble of emotions, the one that stands out the most though is his fury. His hands fisted at his sides as he grits his teeth. He knew now, damn destiny, he would make his own history. He will not allow Morgana to go down this path because fate demands it, not when he can help her. Gaius will be angry but he will understand what I did in time. With his new found resolve Merlin got out of bed, he got dressed, and leaves to visit someone, to help a friend, and ultimately, to change the world.
It's nearly midnight, silence reigns over the castle. All in the castle sleeping fitfully save the guards patrolling the battlements and the castle gates, and the servants scurrying about finishing last minute duties before retiring, and one lone servant standing outside the chambers of the King's ward.
None may realize, but the actions and choices of this one servant, on this night, will shape the very future of Camelot. Generations from now the people of this land will hail Merlin, the greatest Sorcerer to have ever lived, he who ended the terrible discrimination of magic , the one who brought about the return of the dragons, the one who defied prophesy and redeemed the witch Morgana, and greatest friend of King Arthur. And the historians will contemplate and debate and bicker over the moment in his life that lead to his path of greatness. But none will guess that that moment was as simple as a decision to help his friend.
Merlin raised his hand and knocked on the door, and all the doubt in his mind fled, at that moment and he knew this was the right decision.
Merlin knew she was awake. Ever since she had awakened her magic he could sense it, however faint. It was wild, untamed, but fairly weak as it has been newly harnessed. And somehow by sensing her magic he knew she was awake.
His clairvoyance proved accurate when he heard soft footsteps inside the room. He heard Morgana unlocking the door and pulling it open. Her eyes widened in surprise at Merlin
"Merlin, what are you doing here?" she said with red rimmed eyes.
She didn't look herself. Gone was the elegance, confidence and poise that she exuded. Now she looked at him with her hair in disarray and clothes rumpled. Morgana to him seemed a lost child not understanding and frightened by what was happening to her. This just further steeled his resolve
"Hello Morgana, I was wondering if we could talk" he said gently "about your 'accidents' ".
"Yes, yes come in" she looked somewhat relieved, hoping that Merlin had the answers to what was happening to her.
She opened the door further to let him in and closed it after he had entered. Merlin walked in to the middle of the room. Morgana settled herself on the stool by her mirror.
Merlin didn't know how to start, he opened his mouth thinking of anything to start this conversation. He couldn't think of any way to ease into telling her she had magic. In the end he decided to go with the straight forward approach.
"Morgana, you have magic"
A moment of silence passed as Morgana register what he had just said.
"What" she yelled jumping up knocking of her stool, anger and confusion rolling off her in waves.
Merlin winced at her tone but he did not lose his resolve no matter how heavy the guilt was. He lied to her, to his friend; he turned her away when she was vulnerable, confused and frightened. He let her down, he let the dragon make him believe that she was evil, and Gaius, as much as Merlin loved him, gave him foolish advice. He knew what she was going through better than anyone, hell he lived it, and he'd be damned if he was going to stand by and watch her go through the pain and loneliness he went through when he has the power to prevent it. He was done with hiding and listening to the ones who believed they knew better. His hands fisted at his side and he straightened his shoulder. Damn the prophecies and damn fate, he would tear them apart with his will he would make his own history, and this was the first step.
"You're a Sorceress Morgana, you have magic" he repeated softly.
He kept his eyes on her trying to gauge her reaction. He saw fear in her eyes, confusion, understanding and anger. She opened and closed her mouth trying to respond, but unable to be the number of emotions she was going through. What she said next was worse than any reaction he expected. She did not shout or yell or cry or even blow up her room with an accidental burst of wild magic. No, she said only four words and that by far was worse than anything she could've done.
"You lied to me" she said quietly.
Merlin closed his eyes as the weight of his guilt grew heavier.
"Yes" he replied, just as quietly trying to convey his guilt and regret through that one word.
"You were my friend" it did not escape him that she chose to speak in the past tense, that she said 'you were' and not 'you are'. She continued "I trusted you. I trusted you and you lied to me" her voice cracking at the last few words.
Merlin felt as though she twisted a knife in his heart.
"Yes" he said again just as quietly.
Before she could say anything he stepped forward and started speaking
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, for lying to you. You'll never know how hard it was for to tell you that"
"Then why did you?" She said loudly and accusingly "Merlin do know scared I was, how alone I felt because I couldn't tell anyone, I came to you because I couldn't very well go to Arthur, or god forbid the king and tell them I think I have magic, you were the only one I could trusted with this, and you left me to suffer it alone. You're supposed to be my friend" she was practically screaming by the end.
"I was an idiot" he blurted out, "I thought I was doing the right thing because of something someone told me, I know now that I was wrong, I won't make the same mistake again"
"Morgana, Trust me when I say I am still your friend, and I will be your friend as long you want me to be. I will help you get through this"
Her eyes softened slightly at his words, he still felt the pain in her. But the anger flowed out of her and in her eyes he only saw desperation and fear. She walked to the nearest wall and leaned back against it closing her eyes. She took deep breaths to calm herself down, while her head swam with all that had happened right now.
She slid down the wall and sat, arms wrapped around her knees which were pulled up to her chest. She wearily lay her down into her knees.
"Gods Merlin" she said her exhaustion lacing her words "I have magic" the weight of those words finally hit her "what am I going to do" she said almost pleadingly.
"You going to get through this, and I'll be there every step of the way" he said softly sitting down next to her.
After a moment's hesitation he put an arm around her shoulders. He half expected him to pull away, as it was improper for a servant to be this forward with a Lady. But she just leaned into him grateful for the comfort. Her hair tickled his chin as she lay her head in the crook of his neck. They just sat there like that for awhile Merlin giving her time to recover before he dropped another bombshell on her.
"I know what you're feeling, I understand what your going through" he said after a few minutes of silence.
Morgana just laughed head still resting on his neck, though there was no trace of humor in that laugh "Merlin you can't possibly know what I'm going through I-"
"You're scared, you feel alone, even though you have me to confide in, I cant possibly know how lonely you feel. How every time you turn your head you expect soldiers to drag you to be burn. How you wish that there was someone else you could talk to that has magic."
Morgana lifted her head and looked at him in confusion "Merlin how-" she never finished that sentence.
Merlin brought out his palm face up effectively silencing her. He looked at his palm intently, and Morgana gasped as his eyes glowed, words she did not understand but that felt oddly familiar and warm poured out of his mouth. To Morgana's increasing surprise a ball of fire appeared floating a few inches above the palm of his hand. She stared unbelievingly at the fire in his hand that appeared seemingly out of nowhere. But it didn't just appear she realized, as Morgana's brain caught up to what she was seeing, it was conjured with magic. Magic. Merlin was using magic. But that meant…
"You're a Sorcerer" she said, almost accusingly, gaping at him.
"Yup" He watched her closely waiting for a reaction.
She looked at him for a moment wide-eyed and mouth slight agape. She then turned her head and closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose with a thumb and index finger. She let out a long sigh. Looking up at him again she narrowed her eyes and said one word.
"Explain"
"I'm a Sorcerer" he said succinctly.
There was silence.
Merlin thought this was going rather well what with him not being carted off to the dungeons and all.
She looked at him incredulously.
"Merlin" she said breaking the silence "Part of me is overjoyed that I'm not the only one here with magic and I don't have to be alone." Well, Merlin thought happily, this is going much better than I thought.
"The other part of me wants to punch you in the face. Very badly"
Or not.
"Alright, alright, blame a guy for trying to inject a bit of humor in-" she glared at him "Anyway, I'm a Sorcerer"
"Yes, I think I've gotten that part down" she said dryly
He continued, ignoring the statement "I've been one as long as remember, my mother told me that the first time she saw me doing magic was when I was eleven months old when I made my toys float in the air" for the next several minutes Merlin went on to explain his magic to her, it felt great to tell someone and he just let everything pour out.
Morgana was listening intently, absorbing every word he spoke. She couldn't believe it Merlin, serving man to the prince himself, was a sorcerer. Just moments ago she was alone and scared, the King's Ward had magic; Uther would find out, he would burn her. But now, she wasn't alone anymore. Merlin, the servant-no her friend he was her friend, had been for a while. Lanky, clumsy, Merlin, was a powerful sorcerer.
The world was had going mad.
She felt hope at that moment though. Merlin had lived all these years with his magic, but he had never been caught, never let the loneliness get him down, he was always cheerful, a smile always on his face, a joke always ready on his tongue, and she saw how he affected those around him be they stable men or nobility. Arthur had become much more bearable ever since Merlin became his servant, he could still be a pompous ass at times but Merlin was always here keep his ego in check and keep his head from getting to big. He also found a good friend in her. Morgana found herself trusting him, she felt she could confide in him. He was a born leader, he didn't demand respect or loyalty, he earned them, and people gave it to him willingly. He is meant for so much more than being a servant.
After he finished, Morgana was looking at him contemplating him.
What she did next surprised him. She put her hand on his and squeezed slightly.
"Oh Merlin, I can't imagine how awful that must have been, hiding that all this time, not having anyone who understood." She said look at him softly.
A lump formed in his throat. Memories came unbidden to his mind, of all those times where he felt alone, scared that someone would find out. He cleared his throat forcing the lump back. He looked at Morgana saw the kindness in her eyes, and sadness, she was sad for him he realized. He was humbled at that moment. All these problems she's dealing with and she has enough left in her to care for him.
He squeezed her hand back and smiled at her.
"And you won't have to ever imagine it, or feel it because you have me" he said and he got up of the floor and pulled Morgana up with him. "You will not go through what I went through; I will not allow it, not as long as I'm here."
She looked at him tears forming in her eyes trying to convey her gratitude, her happiness. Unable to find the words, Morgana wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her head into his shoulder. Merlin was surprised, to say the least but he embraced her back putting one hand between her shoulder blades and the other on her head.
Morgana cried softly into his shoulder letting out all the frustration she'd been feeling these past few days. She had been keeping to herself having no one to confide in, she couldn't even confide in Gwen her best friend, and it had eaten away at her.
But Merlin was here, she didn't have to hide anything anymore, not in front of him, because right now he knew more about her than most people, and she him. She wasn't alone, she didn't have to go through this alone anymore.
Merlin let her cry, softly stroking her hair. After several minutes she stopped and pulled away from him, his body protested the sudden lack of warmth.
She wiped her eyes clear and looked at Merlin.
"What happens now, what do we do now?"
He grinned at those words, he had been told what would happen, and what he should do before; until he came to the realization he did moments before his visit to Morgana.
"Whatever we want"
