This is a paraody on Star Wars. If you didn't know, I'm a huge Darth Vader fan. I don't own Stars Wars or it's charactor's, but it's safe to say, Darth Vader owns my hearts. oo Hahahahahaha! Here it is. Laugh lots.

The Life and Times of Darth Vader

The red glow of an alarm clock sliced the thick black of an unnaturaly quiet room. The seconds ticked by counting down to 7am. A large mass near the clock shifted in it's slumber. A slow, deliberate wheeze was barely audible from beneath mounds of baby blue blankets.

"GOOD MORNING! WELCOME BACK TO THE GALAXIES' ONLY COCK FIGHTING STATION! CALL IN TO GET TICKETS TO OUR NEXT ROOSTER BANANZA! YOU'LL-"

A large metal hand slammed down onto the alarm clock. Pieces of plastic flew every where and circuits oozed a smooth blue liquid. The lump moved about slowly, a groggy moan escaped between the blanets.

"It's too early...I don't wanna get up!" A deep voice full of menace erupted from the bedding's many folds and the man clapped his hands turning on the lights. The spacious room was fille instantly with the bright glow. A large window stretched across one wall to show the stars and distant planets in space.

Darth Vader slipped out of bed. He stood tall, dangerous. No man or machine would dare take him on! He is a marvel of both worlds and untouchable. Scratching his metalic ass, he gave a long yawn. It was time for another day of Storm Trooper bullying, Emperor butt kissing and of course, taking his shitzu Waffles out for a walk!

Oh yea. What do you think? Just a tiny bit to entice you. Hohoho! Don't worry though I have more. I just gatta scadadle. I do volunteer work at the Ferret City Shelter so I must be off now!