Contemplating Death
by rjs0123


Meredith

Death. Not something that I've ever contemplated. I've dealt with it; come to terms with it on a professional level – as a surgeon, it's one of the first lessons you learn. I've even thought about a world without my mother in it. I'm not being morbid, just telling it like it is. I've just never thought about dying myself. Maybe it's a surgeon thing – we believe ourselves invincible – or maybe it's just me. Even as I held the bomb, when I was closest to death, it didn't really sink in. And now I am. I wasn't ready. This is death.


Webber

The world was created as a cruel joke. I'm convinced of this. In a perfect world, no mother should outlive her daughter, no matter the rift between them or the health conditions either face. And now, Ellis has seen her daughter's entire life. I'll admit a soft spot for Meredith Grey. She is – was so tough and yet so fragile. She was just learning how to do more than survive; she was finally beginning to revel in her hard earned happiness. And now this. A life snuffed out before it's time. Dear lord this makes me feel so damned old


Addison

I never wanted her dead. Contrary to popular opinion I've grown to appreciate Meredith Grey. She's made Derek happy. There is no sense of empty satisfaction. There is no sense of triumph or vindication. There is only a void. As surgeons we see death all of the time, but so rarely, so thankfully rarely, does it hit so close to home. I think humans are only capable of processing so many things. There are only a certain number of hardships we can overcome. And on top of everything else, this could break us all; could very well spell our end


Cristina

My fears are confirmed when I see the Chief walk from her room, his head bowed to conceal his tears. The Chief never cries – that's why he's the Chief. Oh God. My person. I want to jerk free of Izzie's grasp and rush into the room. She's my person. I have to, need to, tell her. She can't just be gone. It's just not right. What will happen to me without Meredith? To my embarrassment, tears fall down my cheeks. Nobody makes fun of me, but the looks of pity they send me strike at me in their own way.


Derek

My heart breaks. It literally gets ripped in a million little pieces. My whole world shrinks down until all I can sense is the body in the next room. I can't feel Mark's hand on my arm. I can't see Addison's understandingly compassionate gaze. I can't hear the distraught shrieks of the other interns. My feet move on autopilot, pulling me into the room. Miranda tries half heartedly to restrain me. My vision swims. I brush the tears out of my eyes impatiently. The only thing that matters right now is Meredith. She's gone and I might as well be


AN: Oh my god. Yup, I can't really even express my thoughts coherently. I hope that she's not actually dead because I don't know if I could really handle it. There are so many more things that Derek and Meredith want to say, but 100 word drabbles are the only way this was going to stay coherent.

This is my first time trying out drabbles. Please tell me what you think. You'd be my knight in shining whatever if you did!