-1Disclaimer: As much as I wish, I do not own Instant Star. If I did, I would know what is happening in the new season. I also do not own the songs. The first one is "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain and the second one is "Long Time Coming" by Oliver James.
A/N: Italics is what Jude has written down. Normal font is what happened in real life, a.k.a, what isn't written in the journal and actually happened. Bold is song lyrics
August 5, 2010
Dear Journal,
Today is the happiest day of my life. Okay, I know I said that when I won the Instant Star contest, and when my first CD came out, and when my second CD came out, but this is by far the best of my life.
Okay, so I have put it off long enough. The main reason this is the best day of my life is because…
Earlier that day
Tommy and I pulled up to the restaurant. I looked out my window as I undid my seatbelt. It was the same restaurant where me and Tommy were suppose to have our first date, until he showed up and announced that he was leaving. I found out later that he was in Montana.
Tommy walked over to my side of the car and opened my door. I stepped out of the car and he shut the door. He pushed the auto-lock and alarm on his key ring, before slipping his keys in his pocket and taking my hand in his.
We walked over to the doors and he opened it for me. I stepped though and he followed behind me. He took my hand again and I smiled up at him. It hadn't been to long ago when I realized that I had made the wrong choice in choosing Jamie and Tommy, like always, was there for me. I was grateful that he had taken me back when he could have told me that I wasn't worth it anymore. And he could have gone on with his life without me, but now standing beside him as we waited for a waiter to lead us to our table I was glad that he hadn't.
It wasn't long before someone came and lead us to our table. It was a corner booth, secluded behind a few plants. The waiter handed us the menus and I smiled up at him.
"Would you like anything to drink?" Our waiter had asked.
"Ice tea for me please," Tommy said and I asked for the same. The waiter nodded and left. I opened my menu and Tommy did the same. I peeked over the top at Tommy and saw that he was staring at me.
"What?" I asked and he smiled before shrugging.
"Nothing," Tommy replied and smirked, "You just look really beautiful tonight."
I blushed and looked down at my outfit. It consisted of a light blue tank top with a white under shirt and a white peasant skirt and blue sandals. The waiter arrived with our drinks before I could say anything in reply. "Are you ready to order?" He asked.
Tommy and I nodded and told him our order, chicken fettuccine with broccoli. The waiter nodded and left to tell the cook. We sat in silence for a few minutes. I looked up at Tommy and he was looking down at his hands, which he was wringing together nervously.
"Anything wrong?" I asked and he looked up at me.
"No," He replied simply.
I looked at him, contemplating whether he was lying or not. I nodded after a while. "Okay," I said. I looked around the restaurant. There were a few older couples eating dinner and chatting quietly to one another and there were a few families around. I smiled at them and let my mind wonder to the future, which I had been doing quite a lot of lately.
"Jude?" Tommy asked and took me out of my thoughts.
I looked at him. "Um, yeah, sorry. What did you ask?" I wondered.
Tommy smiled. "I asked if you wanted some bread." He pointed to a basket of bread that the waiter had dropped off sometime while I was daydreaming. I smiled at Tommy and took a piece of bread.
"Thanks," I said and he just shrugged looking at me. "So how was your day today?" I asked.
Tommy shrugged again. "Boring. I mean, all I did was sit in the studio all day and listen to the artist sing, like I do everyday." At this he sighed.
"So working with me was boring?" I asked a little sad, until he smiled and I knew that he didn't mean it.
"Of course not, Girl. You are probably the highlight of my day," Tommy smirked and I leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips.
It felt good to finally be able to kiss him with no worries. It didn't matter the age difference anymore because I was no longer a child, but an adult. I pulled away after a few seconds and smiled at him before sitting back down in my chair.
The waiter arrived then, bringing with him the warm plates of noodles. We smiled and thanked him and he left, although, he had interrupted a perfect moment. We both picked up our forks and began to eat.
We exchanged very little words through dinner, but I could sense that something was wrong. I just couldn't put my finger on what exactly. I looked at Tommy who looked to be thinking. I sighed before speaking. "Tommy, something's up. So what gives?"
"Nothing, Jude. I promise," Tommy said and again I didn't know if he was lying or not.
"But if something was wrong, you would tell me, right?" I asked looking at him and he nodded. We remained silent for a minute until the waiter came back.
"Would you like dessert this evening?" He asked and Tommy shook his head. "Okay, I will be back in a second with your bill."
Tommy nodded and the waiter left the table, silence following again. I looked at Tommy and he still looked worried about something, but I ignored it. The waiter came back and handed Tommy the bill while I sat there. Tommy pulled out his credit card. He handed the waiter the check, along with his card and we waited again for the waiter to come back.
The waiter returned with Tommy's card and we smiled before the waiter left again. Tommy left a tip on the table as I picked up my purse. Tommy took my hand and we walked out of the restaurant. I started walking to the car, but Tommy pulled me back. I looked at him, confused.
"I thought that we would take a walk," He said and I nodded as we began to walk down the street.
"So where are we going?" I asked looking up at Tommy.
"You will see," Tommy said simply. He looked at me through the corner of his eye and smiled. "How did you enjoy dinner?"
"It was wonderful," I replied, "Did you enjoy it?"
"Very much," Tommy replied as we made it to the park. All was dark and quiet, except for the gazebo, which was bright, covered in lights.
"Can we go home?" I ask, turning to Tommy, "I am kinda tired."
Tommy looked at me before shaking his head. "No," He said simply before leading me over to the gazebo, "Let's dance."
I looked at Tommy and smiled. "But there is no music?" I said.
Tommy shrugged. "So," he said and smiled before putting his arm around my waist. I smile and put my free hand on his shoulder. We began to dance slowly as I looked at Tommy and smiled at him. He smiled back and we continued to dance.
As Tommy and I continued to dance, music began to play, softly at first and growing louder. We didn't notice, however, because we were to absorbed in each other, my eyes locked with his.
The
strands in your eyes that color them wonderful [Chorus: And rain falls angry on the tin
roof [Chorus The
greatest fan of your life.
Stop me and steal
my breath.
And emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never
revealing their depth.
Tell me that we belong together,
Dress
it up with the trappings of love.
I'll be captivated,
I'll hang
from your lips,
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from
above.
I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll
be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the
greatest fan of your life.
As we lie awake in my bed.
You're my survival, you're my
living proof.
My love is alive -- not dead.
Tell me that we
belong together.
Dress it up with the trappings of love.
I'll
be captivated,
I'll hang from your lips,
Instead of the gallows
of heartache that hang from above
And
I've dropped out, I've burned up, I've fought my way back from the
dead.
I've tuned in, turned on, remembered the things that you
said
[Chorus:
I'll
be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better
when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your...
I'll be
your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better
when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your life.
...greatest fan of your life.
Tommy
finally pulled away from me and smiled. He kissed my forehead softly.
I looked at him and smiled. There was soft talking around us, and
I turned to see the group. "Uh-oh...I think we just crashed a
reception..."
"Everybody
wants to be loved
Every once in a while..
We
all need someone to hold on to
Just like a helpless child
Yeah..."
Tommy shrugged. He smiled at me and caressed my cheek. I smiled, blushing slightly. He kissed me softly. After he pulled away, he looked at me. "You know I love you...right?"
"Can
you whisper in my ear
Let me know it's alright..."
I smiled and nodded. Tommy's figure stiffened lightly. I looked at him worriedly. He stepped back a bit and took my hands in his. He looked down at the ground, and then back up at me, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He sucked in a deep breath.
"It's
been a long time coming
Down this road, and now I know
What
I've been waiting for..."
He let it out slowly and smiled at me. "I love you...A lot. Probably more than I can even explain to you...If there's one thing I've known all this time that I've known you; it's that I love you...More than words can convey. But..."
He took in another deep breath, looking down at the floor of the gazebo. I reached a hand up, wiping away one of the tears on his cheek.
"And
like a lonely highway
I'm trying to get home
Ooo loves been a
long time coming..."
He
smiled. "To quote you...I could say that I don't care..."
I
smiled as tears filled my own eyes. "But the truth is I'd follow
you anywhere."
Tommy squeezed my hands lightly. "I've been
waiting such a long, long time...And now I've something to ask
you."
I smiled.
"You
can look for a lifetime
you can love for a day..."
Tommy looked over at the DJ and laughed softly. He looked back at me. I smiled at him. He squeezed my hands lightly and began to kneel. I let out a slight sniffle. We both heard light gasps behind us. Tommy chuckled lightly and softly, looking up at me.
"I love you...And for a while, I tried to deny it…We both know that...And in the process, I also know that I hurt you a lot...But there's one thing that I could never deny. That's that my feelings for you, never failed. They've always been there..."
I let out another light sniffle.
"You
can think you got everything but
Everything is nothing when you
throw it away
Yeah..."
He pulled the ring box from his pocket and opened it, showing me a beautiful 2 karat diamond. He smiled as I gasped, knowing that was my own silent way of telling him I liked it. He pulled it gently from the confines of the box and looked up at me.
"Jude Elizabeth Harrison...Will you, please, marry me?"
I let out a light sob and nodded my head, letting out a barely audible 'yes'. Tommy smiled and slid the ring on my finger, standing up.
"Then
you look in my eyes
And I have it all, once again..."
He hugged and then pulled away and wiped away my tears, cupping my cheeks and looking into my eyes.
"Don't cry, baby girl...Don't ever cry..."
He smiled. I reached my hands up, clasping them over his. He smiled and kissed me softly.
"It's
been a long time coming
Down this road, and now I know
What
I've been waiting for..."
He pulled away and let his hands slide off my cheeks, looking up at the sky. I followed his gaze.
"What're you looking at?" I looked at his face, perplexed. He smiled and looked back at me briefly and then back at the sky. "Do you see that star?"
He pointed to one several stars over from the Gemini constellation. I squinted for a moment and then nodded.
"Yeah, what about it?" He smiled and looked back at me.
"I had it named for you..."
"Just
like a lonely highway
I'm trying to get home
Ooo loves been a
long time coming..."
My jaw dropped and I smiled at him. "Tommy!!"
He smiled at me. "I remember you saying when you were 16, that if you could have anything in the world at that time...It would be your own star."
"Didn't
know I was lost
'Til you found me
Uh-huh
Didn't know I was
blind
But now I see..."
Tears began to scamper down my cheeks. I sucked in a deep breath. "You remembered that?"
Tommy nodded solemnly. He reached up and wiped away one of my tears. They filled my eyes again. He smiled and took in a deep breath. "I'd give anything to my star..."
"Can
you whisper in my ear
Let me know it's alright
It's been a long
time coming
Down this road, and now I know
What I've been
searching for..."
I gasped at his comment. He simply smiled at me and kissed me softly again.
"You're my star Jude...You always have been..."
I smiled, snuggling into his warm chest. I stared at the star. "And you're my moon."
"Oh
been a long long highway and
Now I see
Ooo loves been a long
time..."
Tommy smiled, reaching down and slipping a ring off his finger. "I know..." He lifted his hand to me, showing me the tattoo. I smiled up at him.
Ooo
been a long time
Loves been a long time coming..."
So that's why it is the best day of my life. I have gotten my moon. I can't help, but smile whenever I think of him. I swear, I look down at the ring every five seconds to make sure I hadn't imagined it.
Tomorrow we are telling my family. Then we start planning. I can't wait. I am sooooooo happy right now it is hard for me to write.
Jude Elizabeth Quincy. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Quincy. I like the sound of that.
Well, I gotta go…Tommy's calling. Probably to say goodnight…like always.
Jude Harrison, soon to be Quincy
